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Ryan fidgeted in his seat, glancing around the small coffee shop. His sister was late which wasn't unusual but he found that with every passing minute, his stomach was twisting more and more with the anticipation of whatever it was that she wanted to talk to him about.
He had been dreading this confrontation with his sister. He could probably guess what she wanted to talk to him about. This happened frequently -- he and Stacy would fight, and then Stacy would go off and plead her case to Elle, who in turn would make sure that Ryan was threatened and guilted into apologizing and doing whatever Stacy had originally wanted.
Ryan resented Elle for her hand in trapping him with Stacy. They had always been so close growing up, each other's best friends and yet, Elle still took Stacy's side, always believing that Ryan was the bad guy.
But today? There would be no backing down, no apologies for what he had said to Stacy about not wanting a family with her. Ryan was terrified that this would seal their relationship but he knew that he couldn't let Elle guilt him back into staying with Stacy -- he just couldn't do it. Ryan knew that if he had to choose, he would choose Caroline every single time. He just hoped that it wouldn't come down to that.
"Sorry, I'm late." Elle plopped down in the seat across from him.
Ryan flinched, waiting for whatever tirade that Elle was about to launch into but she stayed silent for a moment, almost as if she was sizing Ryan up.
"Who is Caroline?" She simply asked, her eyes still trained on Ryan as she tried to gauge his response.
Ryan's eyes widened in surprise. That was the last thing that Ryan had expected Elle to say and his stomach flipped with a new wave of anxiety. "How do you --" Ryan started to ask but Elle cut him off.
"Stacy heard you talking to her, Ryan." Elle's voice was sharp. "I'm going to ask again because I refuse to believe that my little brother is cheating on his girlfriend -- on the woman that he should be married to. Ryan, who is Caroline?" Elle emphasized each of the last three words.
Ryan swallowed hard. He knew that he needed to tell her but he didn't trust that she wouldn't just turn around and tell Stacy. "Can you keep a secret, Elle? Because what I'm about to tell you has to stay between us."
Elle blinked a few times, probably surprised by the desperation that had seeped into his voice. The color had drained from her face. "What's going on, Ryan? You're scaring me."
Ryan shook his head, "I need to know that you're not going to turn around and tell Stacy. I need you to be my sister for once, not Stacy's best friend."
Elle's face crumpled a little -- maybe she had realized exactly what she had been doing to Ryan but he doubted that. "Okay." She squeaked, nodding.
"Caroline," Ryan paused. "Caroline is my daughter, Elle."
Elle's eyes widened with surprise, "What?" She fidgeted with the engagement ring on her finger, a tell that she was anxious. "I don't understand, Ryan."
"I had a one night stand on your wedding night." Ryan launched into the story. He had no idea why he was telling her all of this but it felt good to recount the craziness that had happened in the last two weeks. "Caroline's mom left before I woke up and --"
"How are you sure that she is yours and not some girl who wants money from you? Have you taken a paternity test?" Elle interrupted. "You haven't taken a paternity test." She didn't wait for Ryan to answer, "You just took her at her word and launched into playing dad. Please, tell me that you haven't given this woman money." She rubbed her temples as she waited for Ryan's response.
Ryan frowned. It had never occurred to him that Caroline could be anybody's but his and Lydia had never even breathed a word of wanting any sort of financial support. "I don't need a paternity test and she hasn't asked for a single cent from me." Ryan unlocked his phone, finding the folder that housed all of the pictures he had of Caroline. He clicked on a recent one of the both of them, turning the screen toward Elle.
She took his phone, studying the picture. "Wow." She breathed, shaking her head before her eyes met Ryan. "She's like a little carbon copy."
Ryan nodded, taking his phone back. "She is. She's great. I'm still getting to know her but --"
"Why doesn't Stacy know?" Elle glared. "This is typically something that you would tell your girlfriend."
Ryan knew this was his chance to try and make Elle understand. He tapped through his phone, selecting one of the nasty voicemails from Stacy that he had accumulated in his voicebox. He put it on speaker, pressing play.
Elle leaned forward to listen as Stacy's voice drifted up through the speakers. Ryan winced at the words -- words that he had heard her say millions of times, "I hope the whore is worth it and you have your fun because she's going to realize that you're worthless. You are a worthless piece of shit --." Ryan shut the voicemail off.
"I was visiting Grandma and stayed for dinner and didn't text Stacy back quick enough," Ryan informed Elle.
Elle's mouth was slightly agape, her eyes wide as she processed what she had just heard. She shook her head, "I don't understand."
Ryan selected another voicemail, letting Elle listen. After that one, he played another and then another when that finished. He was going to make Elle understand, to make her see the hell that he's been living for six years. He needed her to understand that Stacy was not the perfect woman that she had made herself out to be.
"Okay." Her voice was low and shaky. "I -- I don't know what to say, Ryan." Ryan could see the tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
Ryan shrugged. "I'm going to leave her, I just couldn't bring myself to do it and lose you." A lump formed in Ryan's throat but he tried to remain nonchalant. "And I know if Stacy knew who Caroline was, things would get way worse and I can't put Caroline in the cross-fire."
Elle nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. She reached up, wiping them with the sleeve of her shirt. "All this time, I thought --" She shook her head. "If I would have known, I never would have said anything, I would have told you to get out. Why didn't you show me this before?"
Ryan shrugged again, "I tried to tell you that I was miserable once, Elle. You told me that you'd never forgive me if I broke up with Stacy." He buried his hands in his face for a moment before looking up. He felt pangs of guilt at Elle's tears but he couldn't help but feel like a weight had been lifted off of his chest that Elle seemed to understand now.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I should have believed you, God, I don't know why I didn't believe you." Elle shook her head. "I do have one question." Ryan nodded, signaling her to ask. "If you had a one night stand on my wedding night, why am I just now hearing about Caroline?"
"Funny story." Ryan forced a chuckle, "I just found out about her like two weeks ago?"
Elle cocked an eyebrow, "How?"
"I met her at a fan event." Ryan winced at how this sounded.
"So what, did she run up to you like 'Hi Daddy'?" Elle folded her arms. "I still think you need a paternity test. Looks aren't everything."
Ryan fidgeted with his hands, "No. Caroline doesn't know that I'm her dad, not yet anyway. Lydia -- her mom -- insisted that I get to know her first and then we'll tell her. So that's what I'm doing. When I saw her, I knew. If I hadn't stopped Lydia in the parking lot, she would have left without ever saying anything to me. Hell, I wasn't even supposed to be at that event but Newgarden was sick..." His voice trailed off. "Finding out about Caroline is the best thing that has happened to me, maybe ever."
Elle nodded, "I'm so sorry. I know that probably means nothing but that is all I can think. I have one more question."
Ryan cocked an eyebrow, bracing himself for whatever question Elle was about to ask.
"When can I meet her?"
Ryan couldn't help but grin. "I'm not sure. Let me talk to Lydia and I'll let you know."
Elle nodded, "So Lydia, you don't seem very upset at her?" Her tone was curious, like she was trying to understand everything.
Ryan shrugged, "I was at first but she was doing what she thought was best." And I've been hung up on her for the last six years. Ryan shook that thought off, Elle really didn't need to know that part. "She's a good person."
"What about Stacy?" Elle's eyes drifted away, another fresh batch of tears forming. "When are you going to end things? How? Are you just going to kick her out?" Elle's loyalty to Stacy seeped into her voice a little. Ryan couldn't blame her — she had probably been fed lies about him all this time.
Ryan shrugged, "I'm giving her the house. I don't know when exactly, I need to gain a little more courage. I'm afraid what she's going to do and who she's going to hurt in the process..." his voice trailed off.
Elle nodded, leaning over and grabbing Ryan's hands. "Whatever you need, I'm here. PR support for the fall out of this, a place to stay, please. Let me help you. I know there's really no way I can undo the damage I have caused but let me try."
Ryan gave her hands a reassuring squeeze, "I'll let you know. But please, don't tell Stacy any of this, especially not about Caroline."
"Your secret is safe for me. You better tell Mom soon. She is going to be thrilled and maybe she'll leave me alone about having kids." Elle chuckled. "Everything is going to be okay."
Ryan nodded a little. "I sure hope so."
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"How is Elle?" Stacy chirped as Ryan walked through the door. "Did she talk some sense into you?"
"You know, it's really shitty that you twist the truth and run to my sister instead of confronting me." Ryan pointed out, leaning against the counter across from her. He was surprised by his boldness but knowing that Elle was in his corner gave him a little extra confidence -- plus he knew that he needed to squash Stacy's suspicion that he was cheating on her with Caroline. "Caroline won a contest."
Stacy's eyes widened, clearly surprised by Ryan's response. She stuttered a little, clearly surprised that Ryan would confront her. Before Caroline, he wouldn't have — Elle would've threatened him until he ran home with his tail tucked and then he would apologize. But not anymore. She quickly recovered, smirking, "What contest?"
"One that my sponsors did," Ryan answered simply. "She'll be coming to spend the weekend with me at the Roval."
"Oh." Stacy scrunched her nose. "You should have told me." She shrugged, turning back towards the dishes in the sink.
Ryan stood there, waiting for her to launch into her typical tirade, the song, and dance about how he was cheating, how he was worthless but there was none of that. He hated that he never really knew how Stacy was going to react. She was like a grenade that could go off at any time.
Ryan knew that he needed to make it through the race weekend -- leaving Stacy now would only incite a shit show in the garage with Caroline as a witness.
Once he made it through the weekend, it was time. He knew he needed to break things off with Stacy, he needed to be able to put her and everything that had happened behind him so he could focus on a new life with Caroline and Lydia.
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