A chapter with less than two thousand words but I truly love it just as I love you, I think the ending'sperfect ;) (you'll reaaaaalize hehe)
Enjoy the last chapter of Fixing Her.
Love you ❤️
Michelle
~
Fear isn't an option. Fear is not even a thought. Fear is just a word in the dictionary, one I'm not familiar with. At least not tonight. I've made up my mind. For everyone I love, for everything I am, I've made up my mind, and it's pretty terrifying this time, but it doesn't scare me.
I place my hand in his and pull him to me, seeing his smile grow.
"Hey," he says and closes his hand around mine. "I thought you were with the girls."
"I was," I tell him. "But I need to talk to you."
His features change. "It's not worrisome, I promise."
Don't make promises you can't keep.
"Okay, let's go."
I'm the one pulling him behind me towards I have no idea, and he's the one following me with no idea. Millions of thoughts are storming my mind, ideas, but I can't part which one that I should listen to, as fast as they fly. There's only one thought I'm following, and it's definitely not in my mind it's flying; it's in my heart.
After the game (that the students won because Dylan was the quarterback), people started parting, either going to the gym or café to hang out, or to say goodbye to the classrooms and lockers. None of them are left on the field at least, and with the vacancy calling me, that's where we end up.
The sky is slowly going from pink to orange, and it's obvious sunset is on its way, but it'll take another good while before it's dark. It barely gets dark anymore anyways. It's just this dark blue color that lasts for a few minutes when clock strikes two am, until it starts brightening again.
"You wanna tell me what's going on?" he says, impatient and not trusting my words about it being nothing worrisome.
"Okay," I exhale, my heart catching speed quickly. It's pounding in that space between my collar bones. "I have no idea where to start, but I just need to say this."
I dig my nails into my palm, removing the wall between my heart and mouth. "I am completely, totally, blindly, hopelessly in love with you, and not only that; I love you, and not in the whole boyfriend thing. I have no idea where I'd stand without you and everything you've done, don't interrupt me," I cut him off before he can start saying it's nothing. He's smiling that new smile, the whole precious diamond smile. The one that starts melting me.
Worst timing ever diamond!
"It wouldn't be here at least," I continue. "It wouldn't be at the stage where I could come with you to some strange island, or sleep with you in the same bed, or touch you, kiss, walk down to that pool, or anything like that. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be standing here, I know I wouldn't, and you do too, but now, I'm looking straight in the eye of the future," which is ironic, since I'm looking into his forest green eyes and trying to stay mentally stable while I talk, "and I can see fifteen years from now on. You've been there for me not when I had nothing, but when I had lost everything, and you never did what me and my fear told you to do, but you did what I needed. You saved me, from everything and everyone, including myself. Landon you just existing, makes me fall in love with you over and over and over again every single day. You're my first everything, and I have no idea how others' experiences with first everything have been, but I just know that the difference is, I know there won't be anyone else like you. I will never love someone the way I love you, I'll never be able to try and replace you, and so that is the reason behind me just barging through the door my heart opened without a second's thought."
Oh God here it comes.
"I don't want anyone else but you," I say. "I can't. There is no one I can see being in my future, except you, and... and I know six months together and knowing each other barely for one year is nothing, but that doesn't matter, at least not to me, because we've been through enough for me to know you fully, inside and out and...."
You should've prepared something. You should've planned. Just rip off the stupid bandaid!
I let out a quick breath, swallowing down my heart that's risking to slip out any second, and take a hold of his hand. He's looking at me with something in his eyes, something I've never seen there and still can't figure out. It's not just the diamond look anymore, it's something else. Something more.
I look down at the hand I'm currently holding in my own, studying the veins crossing the back of it and the watch wrapped around his wrist. The hand that's wiped away my tears, stroked my hair, touched my face, uncountable times. The familiarity of it warms my heart, the memories of all the nights he's wrapped his arms around me, the feeling of home. And suddenly, it's easy. Kneeling down with his hand in mine is easy, and saying those four words is easy. "Will you marry me?"
The time between my actions and my words is quick, and him yanking his hand away is just as quick. A smile revealing his teeth is on his face, one he tries ignoring.
"No, no, no, come on," he says, and my heart shatters for a moment. I forget how to breath, and tears are threatening to spill down. Obviously, I knew about the chances of him saying no, but I had convinced myself the chance was small.
No?
He looks at all degrees around us and then grabs my hand and pulls me up. "Seriously? Come on. Why? This is not how we're doing this! This is so wrong. My God!"
I'm so confused. What is going on? "This is not your job, why?"
He drops his head down and shakes it, letting out a small laugh that confuses me even more. "Hayden...."
"What?" I ask, feeling the trembling of my lips. It's either that or crying floods.
He brings his hand to his hair.
"Stop ruining everything Hayden, seriously. God! Dylan was right. The idiot is always right, why do I keep ignoring him?"
"What?"
He looks like he's just been slapped back to reality, as if my presence had gone unnoticed by him until now. As if he just realized who I am.
"Okay, this, wasn't our plan, but I guess I know my answer now at least."
What? I don't get it.
Neither do I, don't worry.
I'm standing paralyzed in my spot when he after letting out a small laugh gets down on his left knee.
"Hayden Kendricks Rivera," he says, taking out something from his pocket. "I've known you for not even one year, I've been with you for not even six months, but still, not even a second passes easily if I don't have you beside me. We haven't had beautiful days, we've had horrible days, but they've all been worth it, for you. There's not one thing that I am not willing to do for you, Hayden. I would give up everything, in a heartbeat, for you, if it means keeping you. So... we may be young, we may have not known each other for as long as society wants us to, but the time that's passed with you in my life has been enough to make me realize that I can't go one little moment without you. You're the smile on my lips, the light in my eyes, the forever in my eternity, and you're what my mind and soul and heart and everyone around me are pointing at, so in the presence of God, and the absence of our friends that will kill us later, I wanna ask you to be my other half, the mother of my kids, and the hermana in law of Jordan. Do you want to literally make me the happiest man this universe has ever seen, and marry me?"
My heart is racing even faster now than when our roles were reversed. To say that I didn't want to have that movie moment every girl is dreaming of would be a lie; I'm a girl. I want the love of my life to kneel down in front of me and melt my heart with the words that I've been thinking about while having sleepless nights. I want to experience the fireworks bursting through my body, the pain on my face because of the smile that I for no reason can seem to remove, and the few tears that have built up. Nothing though, none of the feelings, the words, the things that I've imagined up as a kid and the few past nights, feel like this. This feels like pure bliss, it feels like a true happy ending, not just a happy moment. It feels like there are no problems, that there are no questions as to why, when, how, that it's just now that matters, and in my brain, now is the only thing I can focus on. He is the only thing I can focus on. The diamond look and hope in his eyes even though he knows my answer, the small, fragile ring in his hands, the smile that shows no trace of pain nor sorrow, the almost-sunset that's still not going down.
Even though I poured my heart out for him without any clue as to what to say, even though the answer to what he just has said is one word, three letters known by the entire universe, I still can't bring myself to say it. Instead, I laughingly tackle him in a hug, making him fall over and ending up lying on his chest, my hair falling down to one side of my head and probably tickling his collar. He's laughing, one of his hands being put on my lower waist as I raise my head lightly to look straight into his beautiful eyes, the green ocean I have no problem drowning in. He's biting his lip again, his face being the perfect reflection of a little kid's simple happiness. These are the very rare moments when he's actually a kid, not an adult. When he reminds me of Jordan.
His hand raises to my face, stroking a string of hair behind my ear before he lets it remains resting on my cheek, spreading heat to the already heated, unintentional blush.
"Does that mean yes?" he asks, already knowing his answer and yet having insecurity in his eyes.
"No," I tell him. He doesn't seem taken aback, he knows there's more. He knows me. "That means forever."
A smile covers his lips, and I only have a brief moment to see it, because a second later, one that went in movie slow motion, took an eternity yet a heartbeat, while a breeze blew past, and the pink sky could be found somewhere in the depth of the greenness of his eyes, I place my hand on his chest, the familiarity hitting me once more, and let the one last thing that can make this moment last forever as a perfect memory happen; my lips on his. The last piece of the puzzle I started building when I stepped foot inside the house has been put. The last step out of the maze I entered to find him has been taken. The last piece of me to fix, has been fixed. Completely.
~
She's a broken glass
She's fragile,
but yet strong.
She's ice,
but yet fire.
She's a whisper,
yet a scream.
She means tears,
but yet,
she's all my happiness
She's a broken piece of a shell
Once belonging to a soul
She'll either let me put her pieces back....
Or she'll cut me....
Even though she'll cut me.....
Even though I'll have to piece her back together
with my own blood.....
with my own pieces....
with my own heart....
Even though it's gonna be hard.....
Even though it's gonna be a hell....
She's worth it
She's worth it all....
She'll cut me,
She'll break me,
She'll weaken me,
She'll freeze me,
She'll burn me,
She'll destroy me,
But she's worth it.
She's worth it all
And she's always gonna be.
Always
She's not my dreams.
She's not my life.
She's not my forever.
She's not my everything
Because all those things,
are things I'm willing to give up
For her
She's worth so much more,
Than what all those thing mean,
To me
And no matter what,
I'll fight for her,
I'll live for her,
I'll die for her.
Because nothing,
has any meaning,
without her
~
Those are the words in the beginning of each and every chapter, said by our one and only Landon Fernandez. Isn't it the cutest ever 😍
Sooooo....
The ending?
Perfect or not?
What now?
I have a few thoughts for an epilogue, I'll be back if anything happens :)
I love you all so much, I hope you liked the book and the ending and everything and thank you so much for following me on this journey. I've got some ideas for the next book already, stay tuned.
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As always,
Love,
Michelle ❤️❤️❤️❤️