Journey West 5000

By rhysmakainer

2.4K 98 15

Based on the classic story "Journey to the West", set in an alternate post-apocalyptic future. With her paren... More

Chapter 1 - The Destination
Chapter 2 - The Dark Facility
Chapter 3 - The Reason
Chapter 4 - How Easy Is Banana Pie?
Chapter 5 - Surfacing
Chapter 6 - Tripping the Metal Fantastic
Chapter 7 - Self-invitation to a Massage Party
Chapter 8 - Night Fury
Chapter 9 - It's Bigger On The Inside
Chapter 10 - Are Tigers Yummy?
Chapter 11 - Family Planning for White Dragon
Chapter 12 - Mine Is Bigger Than Yours!
Chapter 13 - What a Good Follower!
Chapter 14 - Preparations for Making Meat Paste
Chapter 15 - Of Barbeques and Firing Squads
Chapter 16 - Too Hot to Handle
Chapter 17 - To Protect and Serve
Chapter 18 - Armed Negotiations and Guerilla Warfare
Chapter 19 - Dances With Imps
Chapter 20 - He Who Rides Clouds
Chapter 21 - Great Sage Equaling Heaven
Chapter 22 - Warm-up or Workout?
Chapter 23 - Reflect Inwards, Grow Outwards
Chapter 24 - Fear Not He Who Practices 10,000 Kicks Once
Chapter 25 - Maiden-Defiling Demon of Gao Village
Chapter 26 - Dangerous Eagle, Cheerful Plum
Chapter 27 - One Big Happy Family
Chapter 28 - Mother's Mourning a Maiden
Chapter 29 - A Young Master's Employees
Chapter 30 - Revelation Through Conversation
Chapter 31 - Triptika Tang, Ace Attorney?
Chapter 32 - You Want The Truth?
Chapter 33 - You Can't Handle The Truth!
Chapter 34 - The Not-So-Little Ram That Could
Chapter 35 - Let Your Actions Speak
Chapter 36 - Battle Pigs, Attack Sheep
Chapter 38 - To Lure, Show Inferiority
Chapter 39 - To Trap, Encourage Arrogance
Chapter 40 - Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
Chapter 41 - Just Bear With It
Chapter 42 - Cry Havoc!
Chapter 43 - Let Loose The Wukong Of War
Chapter 44 - Stick and Move
Chapter 45 - Combatus Interruptus

Chapter 37 - Metaphorical Mountain

30 2 0
By rhysmakainer


At the gates of Gao Village, several defenders stood ready to face the invading army.

Behind them were the closed gates of Gao Village. Before them was an empty corridor, bracketed on each side by a thick field of sharpened bamboo poles and stakes pointing outwards. The empty corridor widened as it stretched away from the village gates.

On either side of the defenders, there were tall barricades made of wooden debris. Parts of the wooden frame that previously secured Bajie could be seen, as could broken parts of the collapsed watchtower.

"Br...Brother Wukong, I'm not a fighter. Could I go behind the gate, with the other villagers?" said Bajie.

"All you have to do, is the one thing Mistress told you to. After that, just leave everything to me!". Wukong thumped his chest, filled with confidence.

"...alright..." said Bajie softly, his floppy ears drooping.

***

When the disorganised band of hybrids came within sight of Gao Village, they slowed to a stop. What they saw was quite unbelievable, so they slowly took it in. Some of them rubbed their eyes and squinted while doing so.

At the gates of Gao Village stood seven unlikely-looking defenders.

And one very scared-looking pig demon.

Elder Mu stood with his eyes closed, breathing slowly and deeply, a heavy saber in each hand. He looked like he had fallen asleep on his feet.

Gao Cai stood behind him, fidgeting with the two large maces in each hand. Occasionally, he would look at his father, then square his shoulders and try to emulate his father's calm state.

Elder Jing rocked back and forth on his toes, a metal tower shield in each hand, a manic grin frozen on his face. It was hard to tell if he was excited or scared out of his wits.

Gao Shu and Gao Luan were behind Elder Jing, talking softly to each other. They each had a long boar spear. Thus called because behind each spear head was a thick metal bar, there to prevent pain-maddened boars -- or other creatures -- from driving themselves further up the haft to injure the spear wielder.

Wu Kong was off to one side, practicing with his quarterstaff while muttering to himself.

Trip sat in the middle of the corridor, reloading the entire stock of single-shot pistols that she had obtained from Brother Mender. After reloading a pistol, she would set it down into one of the neat piles on either side of her. An open cloth bag was placed beside each of the two piles of loaded pistols.

Behind everyone else, Bajie crouched on the ground. His eyes were wide open, showing more white than anything else, staring at the mass of approaching demons. All he saw was sharp teeth, even sharper claws, and quite possibly the sharpest, largest weapons he had ever had the bad luck to come across in his admittedly sheltered life. Especially intimidating was the gigantic nine-ringed broadsword casually propped up against the shoulder of an equally gigantic lion-tiger demon. It was broad, it was sharp, and it radiated sheer chopping capability.

More and more hybrids gathered, those lagging behind catching up. They stopped where the field of bamboo stakes ended. They observed the bamboo stakes, the narrow clear corridor in the middle, the closed gate, the two barricades on each side, and the seven defenders.

Finally, Shi Hu couldn't take it anymore.

He began to snicker, softly at first. Then he broke out into large belly-shaking guffaws.

That triggered the rest of his men, who began laughing uncontrollably. Some even started to tear up while pounding each other on the back and shoulders. At times, one would begin to calm down, only to take another look at the defenders. Doing so would be enough to set them off again, making them laugh themselves sore without stopping.

"Ahahaha! Is that old man sleeping on his feet?"

"What about that grinning fatty? So scared to die he needs two shields? Huahuahua!"

"Gao village is so desperate, they had to call out their women to fight us with the big spears?"

"Maybe the spears are too big for the men? BWAHAHA!"

"Ei, ei, look at that monkey demon! He thinks some last minute weapons training will save him!"

"HYAAAhyahyahyah!"

The only one who didn't laugh was Scaletooth, who looked on suspiciously with narrowed eyes. For some reason, his instincts were telling him that this situation was like when a crocodile would pretend to be a log of dead wood, innocently floating in a calm river.

Wukong couldn't stand the mockery any longer. Brandishing his quarterstaff, he went to stand beside Trip. He slammed one end of his quarterstaff on the ground, while striking a pose with his chest puffed out, his nose pointed upwards, and his finger pointing directly at Shi Hu.

"All you little kitties listen up! I, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, am here to beat all of you into meat paste! These others with me are here to make sure I don't go overboard and bully all you tender kittens too much! Now, all together, come at me!"

Faced with this shameless boasting, some of the demons in the battalion only laughed harder. While others, many others, took offence.

Shi Hu couldn't decide whether he was one or the other. With a relaxed grin, he shouted back, "Oi, little monkey, looks like you have eyes but fail to recognize Mount Tai! Let me-"

"Have you even BEEN to Mount Tai, you little whippersnapper? I've cavorted and danced on the peak of Mount Tai, I've eaten ginseng from the slopes, hunted wild boar at its feet, and spent many a restful night in its trees! Who are YOU to mention Mount Tai to me?" Wukong was starting to look genuinely irritated.

Looking confused, Shi Hu turned to Scale-tooth. "Is he saying there's really a Mount Tai? I thought it was one of those... you know... matter-fors?"

Scale-tooth sighed. "You mean metaphors. Look, it doesn't matter. Listen to me, there's something wrong here, we need to be carefu-"

"Hey monkey! You're good at talking big! Let's see if you can fight as well as you can talk! COME ON!" Shi Hu took a forceful step forward, deliberately stamping on the ground, flexing his rock-hard muscles and puffing out his mane. This was one of his most effective intimidation techniques. He had been using it since his first promotion challenge when he was in his teens. He knew it was effective.

Gao Shu and Gao Luan froze, eyes wide open, staring at Shi Hu.

"Oh?" Shi Hu said to himself. The reaction of the two women had not gone unnoticed.

Shi Hu grinned savagely, and took another step.

Gao Shu and Gao Luan took a few panicked steps backwards, then froze again. By now, the other defenders, were also looking either wary or outright scared, with the exception of Trip and Wukong.

"Aiiiii! We shouldn't be out here! We're going to die!" screamed Bajie. Like the breaking of a dam, it caused most of the defenders to run back to the village gates, screaming incoherently while banging on the gates. Elder Jing was the loudest, screaming and waving his hands, almost sounding as though he was crying. Elder Mu, on the other hand, was stiff and wooden, like a puppet being forced to move by the hands of another.

Only Wukong and Trip remained, facing down Shi Hu and the rest of the battalion.

"Haha! Scared rabbits pretending to be lions! Men, it's dinner time! CHARGE!" roared Shi Hu.

The demons howled and yipped, breaking into an all-out sprint along the clear corridor, towards the village gates.

-- Chapter 37, End --

This is what a nine-ringed broadsword looks like. It's theorized that the rings are there to add weight to blows. Or just there to produce the ringing sound of approaching doom...?

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