Scribbling on a white sheet, Arnav inhaled deeply and leaned behind on backrest. It's been three days of his father telling him about Sheeshmahal matter and his meeting with Vikram Singh, but till now he was unable to confront Khushi regarding this. Something was stopping him each time he tried to speak to her on this matter, what if he ended up hurting her feeling and sentiment!! Khushi was a very sensitive person and a complicated one as well, what if she took this in a wrong way and ended up distancing herself from him. He can even think of any obstacle and hindrance in between them after coming so far with her.
He knew and understood her hatred and anguish towards Sheeshmahal, for her father and for her past. She was never ready to face it forget about thinking about it. She is happy in her present, how right is it to ruin her happiness of her present because obviously knowing these entire things she will be gloomy!!
But what about those people who were related to this matter directly, Like Vikram Singh said, what if this affects their lives in a negative way. Will he be able to forgive himself then.. But can he hurt his wife for them at the same time??
He was frustrated and totally disturbed. Neither he could talk to Khushi nor he could hide this from her.
***********************
Laying on bed on her tummy, Khushi was reading a nonfiction book. The content was interesting, right then her phone rang. Not seeing the id, she answered happily.
" Hello.."
"Hello Khushi!!"
She became aware, quickly checked the caller-id and saw "Krishna" flashing on screen. Gritting her teeth, she took her phone to her ear.
" Why are you calling me again and again Krishna?? How many times should I tell you so that you can understand?? Stop disturbing me calling me again and again.."
"Why do you reject my calls each time??"
Scratching her scalp, Khushi sat on bed.
" Should I entertain your calls then?? Especially knowing on what topic we would be discussing!! And..(She heard beeping sound, quickly checked her phone and found incoming call from Arnav.) Arnav is calling me.. Good bye!!"
Not waiting to hear anything, she ended that call while dialing Arnav's number.
"Hi.." (she said chirpily as Arnav answered the call.His one call and that was a medicine to cure her worries.)
" Busy hai Aap??"
She finds it adorable each time Arnav calls her as "Aap" not "Tum" like he normally addresses her.
" Bilkul nehi.. "(Not at all.) She shook her head.
" Good.. Come to office, we will lunch together.. It's been as if years we have lunch together.."
Khushi replied saluting him as if he was present in front of her.
" Jaisi Aap ki marji mere Akka.. "(As you wish my lord.)
A little smile appeared on Arnav's lips.
" Come soon.. I'm waiting!!"
Angrily throwing the phone on bed, Krishna threw a vase towards that family album which was taken during some festival time where Singhanias and Raizadas were present including Khushi except Arnav as he was absent then.
*******************
She never needs his permission to enter in his cubicle; Khushi directly walked in and found Arnav engrossing in laptop screen. Arnav looked up seeing her, he quickly shut down his laptop which made Khushi feel a bit weird but she brushed that thought away.
" Hi..", he greeted his wife happily.
Smiling Khushi took her seat in front of him on chair.
" Are we going out or will lunch here??"
Arnav replied while taking his intercom.
"No, We will have Here.. Wait a minute!! (Over intercom.) Two coffee to my cabin."
Khushi frowned, Arnav kept back the receiver.
" Are we going to have coffee in our lunch Arnav??"
Arnav chuckled.
" Your husband is not that cruel Khushi.. Actually it will take some time to deliver the food, so!!"
" Ohh.." (She smiled at her idiocy.)
They both continued talking until Peon entered with two cups of hot steaming coffee, Arnav took one cup, and Khushi took her.
" Thank You." (She smiled at Peon, Peon too smiled back at her.)
Arnav once again did not fail to admire his wife and the way she maintains correlation with his office staffs.. Though she visits seldom, but she never forgets this is the place where her husband and Baba works hard!! She respects this place and tries to maintain healthy relationship among his staffs though not a very informal one.
Arnav asked sipping his coffee.
" I need to talk to you Khushi.." (Khushi asked through eyes "What??")
" First let's have lunch" ( Arnav added as food reached. Khushi too readily agreed.)
They both got up, took their places on sofa. Khushi filled her plate as well as Arnav's. They talked on random topic, having a happy time together. After done with their lunch, Khushi asked wiping her hands.
"You were saying something.."(She had understood, it must not be a normal topic due to the gestures of Arnav.)
" Khushi.. Papa was telling me about Lucknow and Sheeshmahal.."
"Mujhe nehi janana hai iss bare mein.", cutting him in middle Khushi said coldly. (I'm not interested in this topic.)
Her behavior was not unexpected one for Arnav, he had already known something like this was waiting on his way from her end.
"At least listen to me once.. You should not come to any conclusion without knowing what I want to tell you.."
Khushi shot a heated glare at him.
" I don't want to know means I never wish to know!! Neither I want to go to Lucknow or any where.. Mujhe yahan rehena hai Arnav, Delhi mein.. Tumhare paas, Maa , Baba..aap sab ke sath!! Kyun jaun mein wahan?? (I want to stay here, in Delhi.. with you, Mumma, Baba..with you all!! Why should I go there??)
The fear of losing her closed ones, the idea of being away from her family started eating her slowly. Thinking about Lucknow was not less than any nightmare for her and she did not wish to give her life a worst turn.
Arnav got up from his seat and came to Khushi, taking his space beside her, Arnav continued.
" Who is asking you to leave from here?? You think me, Maa, Papa would ever let you go away from us!! Tumhe lagta hai mein tumhe jaane dunga Khushi??"
He tucked her hair behind her ear, Khushi was still not looking at him. Khushi turning her face at him.
" Then why did this topic rise suddenly after so many years?? (Arnav opened his mouth to explain, but Khushi did not let him continue..) I don't want to hear or understand anything.. You better don't talk to me on this topic Arnav."
She got up and moved to take her bag, Arnav tried to stop her calling her name, but she did not wait to hear anything from him, left from there closing the door harshly which was showing her inner suffering clearly.
This was what Arnav was afraid of earlier, in anger she always aloof herself from everyone, like she had once left house. And he knew this topic did hurt her heart somewhere!!
**********************
Khushi was almost keeping quite since the time she had returned from Arnav's office, Anita was noticing her dull face. She tried to make Khushi say, but Khushi being Khushi did not utter a single word and now that was worrying Anita. And Anita was sure it was something related to Arnav as after coming back from meeting him, she was behaving so. Door bell rang, at the same time Khushi was descending from stairs. From window, Anita had already seen Arnav's car entering, so she stayed back not coming to front and noticed Khushi who was first resistance to go and unlock the door..
Khushi called aloud.
"Maa... Maa.."
Anita did not reply back, hearing no reply Khushi had to move towards the door to unlock it to let him come in as for sure she can't let him stand outside for whole night. It was getting cold outside. There was standing Arnav, seeing Khushi opening door, Anita moved away from there to her room secretly letting them handle their matter..
"Hi.", he smiled.
There was a cold expression on Khushi's face, she moved aside a little letting Arnav enter in. Arnav understood the gravity of situation is much deeper than his expectation. After him, Khushi turned to close door and moved away, when Arnav said.
" My head is aching.. Can you get me some strong coffee??"
"Khud bana lo..", came a blank reply. (Prepare yourself.)
Arnav raised his brow and followed Khushi who was leading towards staircases and came forward blocking her path. Khushi's eyes got widen, she quickly looked around to see if Mumma was near by as only she was present at that time in house. Arnav too looked around to ensure himself none was actually witnessing them like so.
" Leave my way Arnav, I don't want to fight now!!"
" But when did I ask you to fight with me.. I asked you to make a coffee for me??" (He replied sheepishly grinning ear to ear.)
Khushi crossed her both arms.
" Do I look fool??"
Arnav shook his head negatively.
" Not at all... You are beautifuuulll.." (he dragged the last word a bit more only tickling Khushi's nerves.)
Was he playing with her when she was so disturbed?? Was that a time he had chosen for his flirting and so!! But she needed to admit, his words were trying to soothe her anger a bit which she does not want to happen. He could see, she was calming down a little, though her nose was still red due to anger. He tried to hold her hand, Khushi brushed his hand away.
" Hath mat lagana mujhe!!" (Don't touch me..)
Arnav was amused hearing her.
" Oh really?? Now you will not let me touch you..(He added.) Khushi, I can do much more things to you than only touching you.. I'm your husband, Remember??"(he was smirking by the end.)
Khushi did not say anything further, pushing him away from her way she made her way to kitchen to prepare his so-called strong coffee, if that's what he wanted . Seeing her moving towards kitchen, Arnav could not hide his own smile and followed her. Keeping pot on gas stove Khushi was about pour milk, Arnav said from behind.
" Black.. Black coffee.."
Khushi turned her head, Arnav walked up to her and showed her the water jug.
" I guess you need water not milk."
Annoyingly Khushi turned off stove and faced him.
" Guess what... You prepare your the-Great-Black-Coffee.."
"What the.. Khu..Khushi!! Ruko.. I actually need some coffee.. Khushi.."
But she was gone, Arnav took a deep sigh and walked away from there towards their bedroom. He found Khushi standing by poolside, switching off lights there. Keeping his laptop bag on recliner, Arnav moved to take out his night clothes to freshen up and gain some energy as he knew while dealing with this stubborn piece he would have to burn a lot of energy.
Seeing the lights on, Khushi groaned.
" Please Arnav.. Switch off light."
Arnav did same as she said as he was not interested to spoil her mood more, coming closer Arnav stood behind Khushi.
" Bharosa nehi hai mujh par tumhe.. Tumhe sach mein lagta hai ki main tumhe apne aap se dur jane dunga??" (Don't you trust me?? You seriously think, I'll ever let you go away from me??)
His chosen words were intense at the same time touched her heart intently. He loves her immensely, that was not hidden from her. And about Trust.. Does not she trust him?? Of course she trusts him, like a blind person!! If today anyone asks what Trust means in her life, she will proudly say "Arnav".. He had taught her to Trust!! For her definition of Trust come starts with his name and ends with his name also.
But why does not he understand he was trying to tell her about those memories, which she never wishes to hear by anyhow.. She never wishes to dig past and know what had happened years back.. She never wishes to know why her mother left Lucknow and came to Delhi to live here.. She never wishes to hear anything relating to that man who was the reason behind this mishap in her and her mother's lives.. Being orphan is a different feeling than having no father's identity!! Lucknow is the same place where everything started, and she was never ready to face these.
If she goes there, accepts anything from there that means she is making a joke of her mother's sentiment. And she does not want to play with her Garima Mumma's feeling, who was not even present with her.
Arnav held her by her forearm and tried to make her face him.
" Look at me!!"(His voice was soft, that made her weaker for a moment but she looked away.)
Khushi was looking all over the place but him, Arnav.
" Khushi..(she did not respond.)KHUSHI.. (this time he called her loudly..)"
"I'll not hear a single thing relating to that matter.."
"Kyun Khushi?? If you don't listen to me, you will not come to know everything that you need to know."
" Bas nehi karni hai matlab nehi karni hai.. (No means No..) I don't NEED to know anything."
Arnav sighed hard, tried to hold her both arms, But she moved back not letting him reach near her. Arnav noticed her feet moving backwards, she was not looking up-.
"Khushi.." (He called her once again.)
She remained unmoved looking everywhere but him. Arnav understood, if he compels her more that means he is wasting his energy and time uselessly as well as making the situation more complex. Until she is ready, she will not let anyone make her hear anything. Arnav moved aside, Khushi quickly glanced up at him once and soon looked away, before rushing away from there.