Chapter 22
Arawn and I had some kind of staring contest, his gaze was warm but I was just studying his face to try and figure out how and how much he knew. He could sense a change in me after that party. I suppose the whole teeth thing made it quite obvious something had happened. But surely he didn't know more than that.
Arawn broke the gaze and went back to gathering sticks.
I watched him, the only way he could know is if he was a myth himself. There was no way a mortal could or would guess something like that. If so Juno and her friends never knew about him. And he would have no idea how much danger he was in. Danger caused by... me. Being mortal was bad but nothing could compare to what happened at that hospital. How could I find out? I couldn't just ask.
I shook my head and almost laughed out loud at myself. I had one thing that Juno's group never really had. A good sense of smell. I had never really noticed anything strange about his scent but better to be safe. I walked over to a tree that had fallen and dried out.
"Hey, can you help me with this one?" I called out to him.
He walked over and started breaking off dried branches. I got up close doing the same, making sure he was focused on his task I took a deep breath in. I could smell sweat, which was normal considering the heat and what we were doing but nothing strange. So he wasn't a myth. Then why and how? Some kind of lucky guess that unintentionally freaked me out. I was still the same person. Maybe he could feel the aggressive energy of the beast. I sighed, that was fair enough it did make a difference to me having something inside that just wanted to destroy and eat everything around.
We walked back to the camp together in silence holding big bundles of sticks. I had never really been one for self-reflection before though this camping trip seemed like a chance for me too. I guess my personality before everything happened was calm and quiet, I was very unassuming. Maybe I had changed. Now I definitely had. Imagines of my mother dying before my eyes and the lack of sound in place of her heartbeat haunted me. I shivered and blinked trying to shake it off. Arawn gave me a weary look. He knew something for sure but he couldn't know I was a werewolf.
At sunset the bonfire was lit, the flame greedily consumed the dry wood and once it was hot enough Conley crouched over it to cook. I watched the flames curiously wondering how effective fire would be against vampires.
There was a loud popping sound behind me and I turned to see Sam opening the camping chairs.
"There's one for you mate," Sam said with a smile.
"Thanks," I sat down.
The colours of the sky, the fire and the field all came together like a beautiful work of art and it pissed me off. It was mocking me, saying look at how much you have to live for. Like I hadn't seen hundreds of sunsets or been camping before. It was nothing special. Yet somehow it was. Even though my mother had been slaughtered and I had lost control killed four friends, the sky and the world could still look beautiful and I was there to look at it. For some reason that seemed important. It cut through the sadness. Like the campfire was melting my icy heart. I chuckled at how stupid that sounded.
Stars began to peep through the purple tones.
"It's been a while hasn't it?" Sam brought my attention back down to earth.
"Yeah, it has," I said, in more way than he could know. I was off on some kind of mythical journey with a very sour ending right under his nose. It kind of felt like I had returned from a long journey, I was now back home under the stairs and by the fire with my mates.
Of course, that was a delusion I couldn't just go back to my normal life. That wasn't the way things work. It was nice to believe though.
"How are you doing dude?" Sam asked softly, glancing around to make sure the other boys weren't listening.
"I'm fine," I lied.
Sam snorted, "Bullshit. As if you would be fine."
I sighed and said, "Ok you want the truth, I'm so far from fine it's not even funny."
"I've noticed, I think we all have," Sam said then glanced at Conner, "Except him. But you're strong, I've seen it and I know whatever is happening you'll get through it."
Closing my eyes I relaxed back into the chair, and I whispered, utter truth echoing into my words, "maybe I don't want to."
I opened my eyes to see Sam giving me a very concerned look. He was my best friend despite his ramblings he always had my back and I had his.
"Don't say things like that, you're got some many things left to do in life, like getting laid," he said it so seriously I couldn't help but to laugh and so did he. I needed a good laugh, a good win. Of course, Sam was the one who could make me laugh. We didn't always have the same humour but he knew me.
"You're a good person," he said seriously with a smile.
My face fell again, "I'm not sure that I am. I'm pretty sure I'm not..."
Before my thoughts could spiral, Sam said, "More bullshit. Torsten you're a good person. I know you're having a weird phase hanging out with the goths but you're still you. You're the guy despite being an actual twig stood up for me in primary school when those kids were bullying me for being Asian," I smiled and he continued, "You with your little scrawny arms were the one to push their fat asses to the ground and get detention for it."
"Yeah, I guess I did do that," I mumbled.
"You totally did and more than once," Sam's eyes widened, "Like I get it you have your secrets but don't forget I'm your best friend."
I smiled, "I won't."
Sam suddenly raised his voice and sung very loudly, "Don't you, Forget about me!"
He fist pumped into the air with so much force I thought he was going to fall off his chair. The others looked over at us confused. I pitched my eyebrows embarrassed but... smiling...
We spent the next day in the river boating up and down, swimming when we fell out with some fruitless fishing. The whole day I kept thoughts of the mythical world aside, I laughed and smiled enjoying the moment. And as I sat down by the campfire that evening my mind was clear. I did some terrible things with my werewolf powers but there were still things left fighting for, like the smiling and slightly sunburnt faces of my friends.
After this weekend I would have to return to the chaos but maybe it was worth pushing through. To make sure there was one more person on their side. There was no way I could be forgiven but maybe I could do something positive.
Wishful thinking, but how could you not have wishful thinking surrounded by the stars.
Conner and Conley were roasting marshmallows over the fire. Conner knocked his stick against Conley's getting ash on Conley's marshmallow. Conley gave him a glare.
"You dick," Sam exclaimed.
Conner just gave him a smirk then looked to the rest of us, "So I know this is like a sensitive topic for Torsten but I haven't seen Ruby in a while, what do you think she's up to?"
I had forgotten all about Ruby in everything that had happened. It was like I was an old man suddenly reminded of a fling in the past. Though this fling was almost entirely to piss Conner off and the beast's way of establishing dominance within my friends. I mentally cringed at myself. I didn't know what the beast was back then, now I could see through its fuckary.
A smile spread across my face and I said, "You know Conner, I haven't really thought about her in a while. Last time I saw her, she was with William."
Sam also smiled sensing my direction and Added, "She moved on from you fast Torsten you must be gutted."
"Yeah I haven't even moved on yet," I said as I watched the scowl spread on Conner's face.
He started to eat his marshmallow again.
In the next morning, we packed up our campsite and began walking home. I would soon be back to my reality and I think I dreaded it a little less than when I started the trip. It had really refreshed me.
With my heavy pack on I walked a little faster to be side by side with Sam, he looked at me sweat dripping from his forehead.
"Thank you," I said breaking the silence.
"Is that sarcastic? Jeez, I'm sorry I made you carry all the heavy shit," Sam said through his panting.
"No, I'm just thanking you for dragging me along on this trip," I replied.
Sam nodded and shrugged, "You're welcome, I told you it would be fun."
I gave him one last smile. Something told me that this might be one of the last times I saw the boys or at least the last time I would be having fun with them like this. I was headed back into some serious dilemma's but despite what I had done there were still things I wanted to do. I had a good intention when I protected my house from that attack. Even though things when terribly wrong, this trip reminded me that I was doing the right thing. Because some things were actually worth protecting. I wasn't going to let any of my friends be the next person who was randomly murdered by those vampires.
The car ride back was nerve-racking for me. Seeing the fields become fewer and fewer, I would be suck between William and Sylvia. I honestly thought that William might even be safer, Sylvia as far as I knew was an insanely powerful witch and I had just slaughtered a bunch of her friends. Young myths too who she was still training and had their whole lives ahead of them. Guilt pooled in my stomach. Either way, I was going to be delivered home first. So I thought the first thing I would do was look for my father.
Little did I know he was waiting for me.
First published - 8/9/2019
Workshopping edit - 14/8/22