A/N: if you know. You know.
•••
"Hello! Chaeng! Open the door!" Jisoo pounds her fist frantically.
Chaeyoung takes a deep breath and quickly opens it for her before turning back around to pace the room.
"What in the hell is going on?" Jisoo asks.
"I am freaking out!" Chaeyoung shouts waving her arms. "I feel like puking! Am i doing the right thing? What if she regrets it? What if she doesn't show up!? What if she leaves me at the alter!"
"Chaeng you need to calm down, everything will be okay." Jisoo tries to assure her.
"YOU DONT KNOW THAT!" Chaeyoung points a finger at her.
Jisoo swallows thickly at her outburst. Chaeyoung lowers her arm. "I'm sorry unnie." She apologizes as her eyes glisten over. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just really stressed right now and I don't know if I can do this." She starts crying.
"Oh Chaeng..." Jisoo hugs her. "It's okay. You don't need to worry. Lisa loves you, I know that for a fact. I've never seen her like this for anyone. She's a complete fool for you."
"What if someone objects? Or she gets nervous and runs away? Or things don't work out in the end?"
"Chaeng, we could spend all day thinking about the what ifs, but that's not what lifes about. You just gotta go out there and hope for the best." Jisoo gives her a small smile.
"I can't do that unnie!" She starts crying again.
"Okay okay," Jisoo lets out a small laugh pulling her back into a hug. "Well I'm not leaving this place until you're married, so I have an idea."
•••
"Knock knock."
"OH MY GOD NO!" Chaeyoung screams reaching for the throw blanket close to her. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She tries desperately to cover her dress.
Lisa walks backwards into the room as best she can, sticking her arms out to blindly feel around. "A little birdie told me you were freaking out."
"LISA! THIS IS BAD LUCK! YOU CANT SEE ME BEFORE THE WEDDING!"
"My eyes are closed." Lisa raises her arms innocently. "Baby you need to calm down."
"Lisa this is not allowed. Do you want our marriage to fail!" Chaeyoung frantically tries to hide from Lisa.
Lisa continues to feel blindly through the room to find Chaeyoung. "Of course I don't, but I really don't like seeing you stressed out like this." She says making Chaeyoung sigh. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I'm scared." Chaeyoung whispers looking at Lisa's back with a frown.
"I know." Lisa says. "Me too." She admits.
"You are?" Chaeyoung says surprised.
"Of course." Lisa chuckles. "...I'm scared that maybe you don't want this as much as I do."
"I do want this." Chaeyoung says taking a step closer to Lisa. "I was scared that maybe you'd freak out and leave me at the alter..." She mumbles.
"So we're both scared." Lisa nods. "Do you still wanna do this? I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for."
"I want nothing more than to marry you Lisa. I feel like I've been waiting forever for this." Chaeyoung says.
Lisa turns around, but keeps her eyes closed. "I promise I'm not looking." She says. "But I just want you to know that I love you, and I won't ever regret a second that I spend with you." She grins.
Chaeyoung walks over to her until they're face to face. "I love you too." She says. "I'm going to kiss you now."
Lisa puckers her lips comically. "I'm ready."
Chaeyoung chuckles and kisses her briefly. "Let's go get married."
•••
"How's it looking behind the scenes?" Jennie asks once Jisoo is seated with her.
"A mess on both sides, but I'm pretty sure I fixed it." Jisoo sighs.
"I'm sure everything will be just fine." Jennie kisses her cheek.
Jisoo slips her hand into Jennie's and leans into her. "I hope so."
"Just think, this'll be us next year." Jennie glances around the venue.
"Oh god please don't freak out like Chaeng." Jisoo begs.
Jennie chuckles. "I can't make any promises."
"You would still love me though right?"
"Of course I would." Jennie kisses the side of her head. "Always."
•••
Chaeyoung slowly blinked her eyes open and turned over in bed. It was morning as far as she could tell based off the few streaks of sunlight peaking through the thick curtains.
She leaned over to Lisa and kissed the sleeping girl on the cheek. The youngers nose scrunched up at the feeling and she slowly opened her eyes.
"Hm? What?" Lisa rasps out seeing Chaeyoung leaning over her.
"When we get married don't leave me at the alter okay?" Chaeyoung says.
Lisa's perfect brows draw together. "Why would I do that?" She asks. Leaning over she spoons Chaeyoung in her arms instead, letting out a sleepy hum. "I love you bub." She mumbles brushing her lips behind her ear.
"I love you too. I don't know, I just had this dream. I was freaking out about marrying you."
"I'm pretty sure I would be the one freaking out." Lisa laughs. "New story coming soon; marrying my teenage crush! Ouu heartthrob!" She says dramatically making Chaeyoung laugh.
"I know I'll be nervous, but I also know I won't regret a single second." Chaeyoung smiles.
•••
"Jennie. We have to elope right now." Jisoo demands walking into the youngers room.
Jennie looks up from painting her toes with a confused look. "Why?"
"Because I don't want us to break up!"
"Wait what? You want us to get married right now so that we won't break up? Why would we ever break up?"
"Listen Jennie, if we don't get married now we're going yo get trapped in a long long long engagement. We'll be like Roy and Pam!" Jisoo rants. "I don't want you to be my Roy, I want you to be my Jim!" She whines.
A light laugh escapes Jennie's lips and she turns her attention back to her toenails. "Jisoo, you've been watching too much TV."
"So you don't wanna be the Jim to my Pam?" Jisoo pouts.
"If anything I'm pam and you're Jim." Jennie laughs standing up. Taking a hold of Jisoo's hands she gives her a brief kiss. "And we're not going to elope."
"Then can we have a wedding today?" Jisoo asks.
"Thats the same as eloping!" Jennie laughs. "Whats the rush?"
"I have to wait so long Jen! I wanna do it right now!" Jisoo whines.
"Fine. We can have a fake wedding then." Jennie gives in. "How about tonight after dinner?"
"But you're going to that concert." Jisoo frowns. "We can't have honeymoon activities."
"Mm how about tomorrow then?" Jennie smiles.
"It's a date!" Jisoo grins.
•••
"Welcome members of Blackpink to today's episode of Maury. Our guests today present the classic story of love em and leave em, and a man who denies claims that the child is his. Behind us on the screen you'll see newborn Lily."
Jennie, Jisoo, and Chaeyoung all awe when the tiny kitten pops up on the tv.
"Tonight, we will reveal the DNA test that concludes who the real father is." Lisa says seriously with an orange envelope in her hand.
"Dun dun dun!" Jisoo adds.
"The mother of the child, Jennie the Cat, has declined our invitation on the show as a result of bitterness towards our subject in question, Luca." Lisa nods to the cat beside her. She made him sit in a chair in front of her unnies, aka the audience.
"Luca, do you deny any claims stating you are the father?" She asks him.
"Is she being for real?" Jennie whispers to Chaeyoung.
"Shh. I wanna know." Chaeyoung whispers back.
"So the story is, apparently while your caretaker was on a world tour you took it upon yourself to meet a companion. Now like any other couple it was expected that you have a little fun together." Lisa chuckles. "But that fun didn't last so long when you found out that Jennie was pregnant."
"Meow*" Luca looks at her.
"So you're claiming it wasn't you, and Jennie sleeps around?" Lisa questions her cat.
"Hey! Thats my girlfriend you're taking about!" Jisoo growls.
"Not me you idiot." Jennie pulls her back down to sit.
"Quiet in the audience please." Lisa shushes. "Lets get the results." She opens the envelope.
Standing up dramatically she reads the results.
"Luca...you ARE the Father!" She points at the poor cat.
"Before marriage Luca!" Chaeyoung gasps.
"Like you're some saint." Jennie rolls her eyes.
"Oh my God! Luca you whore!" Jisoo laughs clapping her hands in amusement. "That makes you guys Grandparents!" She points between the maknaes. "Old ass Grandmas hahahaha!!!"
"Awh shi—"
"No swearing in front of the children." Jennie glares covering Kuma's ears.
"Fine." Lisa huffs. "But I guess tonight we're getting a new family member."
"Jennie won't be here." Jisoo says.
"What are you doing?" Chaeyoung asks.
"I'm going to see Cigarettes After Sex."
"Good thing you're not a virgin with asthma!" Lisa throws her arms up.
•••
"AHHHH ZEBENIA!!!!"
"Introducing new member of the family, Lily!" Lisa lifts the baby kitten.
"Yayy! New baby!" Jisoo claps.
"She's so cute!" Chaeyoung coos.
"Alright, New baby rules." Lisa presents a list after handing off Lily to Chaeyoung. "No swearing around the new baby!"
"But why?" Jisoo frowns. "Not like shes gonna repeat it."
"Because unnie. Swear words make babies ears bleed." Lisa says.
"Who told you that?" Jisoo grimaces.
"Next rule! No sex in front of baby Lily!"
"I think that rule is for you." Jisoo snickers.
"Chaeng what are you doing?" Lisa looks over at the pair.
"What? She's got that new kitten smell." Chaeyoung cuddles Lily.
"Stop sniffing her." Lisa instructs.
"I have a question." Jisoo raises her hand.
"Yes." Lisa points to her.
"Are you gonna tell Lily shes an accident?"
"Wha—what-UNNIE!" Lisa covers Lily's ears. "She doesn't have to know." She says through her teeth.
•••
"No offence to anyone here, but this is by far the weirdest reason we have been brought together." Jaewon says from his seat.
"Shh hyung. I'm trying to Listen." Haruto nudges him.
"Coolest people of YG. We are gathered here today to join this wonderful couple together in holy matrimony. And not just because Jennie threatened us to be here." June announces.
"Today we witness our dear friends, Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, and Jisoo....is this really your middle name?" June trails off questioningly.
"Yes." Jisoo nods.
"Okay then. Jisoo Turtle Rabbit Kim in the fake union of their love." June smiles. "The rings?"
Lisa hands Jisoo a blue ringpop and Chaeyoung hands Jennie a red one.
"This is so beautiful..." Bobby wipes away his tears.
"You're such a girl." Hanbin rolls his eyes.
"Look at Mino before you bully me." Bobby frowns.
They both glance over at the next aisle and see Mino balling his eyes out, blowing his nose on Jinwoo's sleeve.
All the friends of the girls were gathered in the living room of their dorm to watch Jensoo's fake but sorta real wedding. Really it was just an excuse to get together and party.
And for some reason they let June officiate.
"Alright, lets get the ball rolling so we can party." June continues on. "Vow time. Who's first?"
"I'll go." Jennie says. "Kim Jisoo...I've seen millions of people around the world, met a few passing faces her and there, and even made a few friends along the way." She starts off. "But never in my life have I met anyone like you. You are so intelligent, kind, beautiful, funny, I could go on and on. You are everything I've ever needed and more. My shoulder to cry on, my happy pill, my everything. No one makes me laugh like you do. You complete me, and I love you."
Jisoo smiles and carefully wipes Jennie's tears away with her thumb. "I love you too." She mouths. "Okay. Guess its my turn." She says before taking a deep breath.
"Jennie Kim. When I first met you I was in awe. You made my heart race everytime you so much as looked in my direction. I thank my lucky stars everyday for meeting you because you give everything I do, meaning. I want to protect you, make you laugh, wake up to you every day. If there's one thing I know in life its that I was made to spend my life with you. And I am so happy to be doing that. We have many days ahead of us, I hope to full fill all of pur dreams along the way. I love you."
Chaeyoung fans her eyes in a weak attempt to stop her tears.
"I can't believe they're all grown up." Heechul cries from the laptop screen he was FaceTiming from.
"Jennie Ruby Jane Kim do you take Jisoo to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do." Jennie smiles.
"Jisoo turtle rabbit kim do you take Jennie ruby jane to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"Heck yes." Jisoo grins making them giggle.
"Alright now for the exciting part! By the nonexistent power invested in me, You may now Kiss the bride!"
Leaning in they press their lips in a sweet kiss.
"WHOOOO!! YAYYY!!" Everyone starts clapping and cheering.
"Our parents are married!" Lisa cheers picking Chaeng up and spinning her around.
"Party time!" Mino whips out a bottle.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
"Oh shit. Everyone quiet!" Lisa shushes them. They all shut up and dim the lights.
Jisoo walks over to the door and carefully opens it.
"What? I wasn't invited to the wedding?"
Jisoo's worried look morphs into a bright smile as she opens the door wider. "TOP-SSI!
"Hey guys." He smiles walking into the dorm.
"Holy crap this is the best fake wedding ever!" Yedam squeals.
"Now it's really time to party!" Lisa starts the music.
•••
2 Days Later.
"WHY YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME, BOY I WANNA KNOW! LYING THAT YOUR SEXIN ME WHEN EVERYBODY KNOWS!" Lisa sings at the top of her lungs.
"Oh my god make it stop!" Jennie groans covering her ears with the pillow.
"Who let in the dying cat?" Jisoo scowls walking into the living room.
"It's Lisa singing in the shower!" Chaeyoung calls out over her girlfriends insistently loud singing.
"Make it stop!!!" Jennie begs.
"LOVE ME LOVE ME, SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME!"
"Why does she go tone deaf in the shower!" Jisoo groans covering her ears.
Dalgome and Kuma start howling along with Lisa's singing making Chaeyoung cover her ears to.
"FOOL ME FOOL ME OH HOW YOU DO ME!"
"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!" Jennie screams to block out the singing.
"KISS ME KISS ME, SAY THAT YOU MISS ME!"
"THATS IT!" Jisoo throws the pillow down. Marching over to the bathroom she kicks the door open and tightly closes her eyes. "COVER YOUR TITTIES! IM GOIN IN!" She shouts before blindly walking over to the shower and reaching in to turn off the tap.
"AHH UNNIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
"DONT TALK TO ME WHILE YOUR NAKED!" Jisoo turns off the water, eyes still tightly shut.
"GET OUT!"
"Like I would wanna see you naked!" Jisoo shouts before leaving.
"IT WOULD BE A BLESSING!"