I have inspiration and feelings of being alive most every day I live. - Judy Collins
"Oh, come on Tommy, I've had worst injuries during the war than a silly old bullet at close range." Lillian added, breaking the silence with a small smile on her lips. Putting the wine glass down on the windowsill.
"But-but I held you in my arms when you died. I felt you die." He stuttered closing the door behind him as his brain tried to process the shocking revelation of his dead wife not being dead.
"I know but I wasn't." She replied and Thomas gripped his hair tightly.
"That's not a good enough answer, I buried you for fuck sake." He said, his anger building as she was treating it like it wasn't a big deal.
"I know I saw. My brothers and I found a way to slow my heart rate down okay and when you were too busy shouting for help, they gave it to me, and it made it seem like I was dead." Lillian explained.
"Why the fuck would you do such a stupid thing?! Are you out of your mind!" Thomas shouted.
"Yes."
"Lillian this isn't fucking funny. These have been the worst weeks of my life and to know that you were watching me instead of being here, fucking pisses me off alright." Thomas shouts and Lillian looked down, stepping closer to him. She tried to reach for him, but he stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed. "I mourned for you Lillian. The family mourned for you and the fact that your brothers knew and not me, fucking breaks me Lill's. Why? Just tell me why?"
"I had to, I knew once you told me everything with the business and the Russians, that something was gonna happen and something was gonna be you dead and I couldn't let that happen okay Thomas. I knew someone would try something and I had a pretty good suspicion that would happen at the benefit with all the important people. Everyone had to believe that I was dead Thomas so that I could figure out what the fuck was going on, even you." She explained as quickly as possible, kneeling down in front of him.
"Even me, but not your brothers." He replied quietly.
"Believe it or not but my brothers are very good at pretending other siblings are dead. James and Harry once made a bakery believe that our brother Leo was dead to get free cakes and it kinda went out of control and then—that's beside the point but everyone would only believe I'm dead if they saw how you'd react Thomas and that's something that you couldn't pretend to be."
"I could've." He replied childishly and she rolled her eyes.
"No, you couldn't but one of things I found out and planned was that we both know that the prick of a reverend is telling the other side about your Russian deal and he needs to die."
"I know." He said and he sighed. "But What you did was stupid and wrong."
"As if you've never done anything wrong Thomas." She scoffed standing up.
"But never enough to pretend that I've died, do you have any idea what that put me through—oh wait you did because you were watching over us." He said angrily, waving his arm around as he stood up.
"Other things are starting to happen Thomas I needed to know what they were, and it just so happened being dead made that a whole lot easier." She replied, arms crossed.
"Oh, I'm sure it did and just having the whole family believe you were dead was just the icing on the cake wasn't it? Except our son of course, you came to him every night but NOT ME!" he told her, shouting at the end as she scoffed.
"I wasn't gonna have some whore replace me as Charlie's mother and don't give me that look Thomas, I've seen Lizzie hang around here more than I ever have. The slimy little bitch." She said, shoving her hands in the air in annoyance as she went over to her vanity, taking her jewelry off.
"Really Lillian? That's your fuckin concern, if my dicks been getting wet, we didn't even do anything and if we did it wouldn't be my fault, I thought you were dead!" he said, pacing the room as she rolled her eyes.
"I know that Thomas because I had Harry keeping her busy every night so it wouldn't happen." She shoved her earrings off as she chucked them in the drawer.
"Oh, so you had your brother whore himself out eh?" he stopped looking at her through the mirror.
"To keep her from shagging you and making her think she has a chance? Yes! I'll whore out my brother, but he wasn't complaining you piece of shit!"
"How am I the piece of shit eh! You made everyone believe you were dead just to get fucking information."
"Oh, you're just jealous because you've never thought of it." She told him, turning in her seat to face him and he laughed sarcastically and she rolled her eyes.
"Me!? I wouldn't do that, that's crossing the line."
"Ooh so that's whats stops you eh? Well, I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you bastard." She shouted, standing up.
"Go to Hell Lillian, go to fuckin hell."
"Me go to Hell, fuck off Thomas you're the one that always keeps secrets from me, I had to basically pry the information out of you on our wedding day might I fucking add and this psycho bitch Tatiana getting all in your face as if I'm not fucking there and I swear to god if you touch then I will—"
"What kill yourself, you've already done that! Your gonna need a new trick Lillian!" He cut her off, striding over to her until she was up against a wall. Finger pointed at her face as he breathed heavily on her. "You do not get to tell me what I can and can't fucking do Lillian, this is business and I'm handling it the way I see fit, okay."
"Touch her and I will kill her in the best way I see fit alright." She replied darkly, a seductive look in her eyes as her hands moved downwards. "If you need someone to get your fuckin dick wet then that's me Thomas, no one else. Not some Russian whore or any other common whore. We both know that I do things to you that no one else can."
"Stop it." He said, his breathes getting heavier as she pouted.
"Why don't you miss me." She said innocently, her hand going under his briefs and grabbing ahold of it. His head snapped up, banging the wall behind her with his hands and she smiled a little.
"I fucking hate you." He said, grabbing her waist and picking her up, legs going around his waist as she took her hands out and around his neck.
"I hate you too." She replied, forcing his lips to meet hers as he carried her to bed...
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"I think we should only let the rest of the family know that I'm alive Thomas for now anyway until I get bored at least." She told him as they both lay in bed. The morning had come and the pair slept better than they ever had in the past few weeks, Tommy held her close, a little scared that this was all a dream and he'd wake up to and empty bed and a heavy heart but as she stroked his hair softly he knew that he wasn't letting her go anywhere anytime soon.
"Agreed." He said with a roll of his eyes and she laughed.
"We finally agreed on something who would have thought eh?" he smiled briefly.
"Well, death will do that to a person." He said stoically, reaching for his cigarettes. "Promise me that you're never going to do something so stupid like that again."
"I won't Tommy, I promise." She replied and he believed. "And anyway, I can only do that once because everyone will know next time."
"Good."
"MAMA." Their heads snapped towards the door, hearing their sons voice from his bedroom across the hall and Thomas quickly went to go get him as Lillian put on her nightgown. The moment Thomas returned with there son in his arms he started squirming. Tommy let him down and he ran over to the bed giggling. "MAMA"
"Hey there Charlie." She squealed, picking him up and onto the bed. She tickled his stomach, making him laugh before hugging him tightly. "Did you miss me?" he nodded, jumping up and down on her legs and her smiled widened. "Look how big you've gotten. You're so handsome aren't you. Yes, you are, yes you are." Lillian started laughing at Charlie's smile which soon turned into his own giggles and Thomas smiled, looking down at his little family.
"I have a meeting tonight with the Russians." He admitted and she nodded, not really paying attention.
"Okay that's fine I'm just gonna stay here and play with our son all day but make sure to tell the maids or threaten them to not speak a word about me being alive please and that their services aren't needed for Charlie today." She explained as Charlie jumped on the bed.
"What about the rest of the family Lillian, we have to tell them." Thomas stated and she shrugged, looking at him for the first time today.
"And I will, I just need to make a dramatic entrance that's all." She replied and he rolled his eyes. "Don't roll your eyes I wanna see all there faces when they know I'm alive and I'm gonna do the same with the common people as well." He rolled his eyes again, going into the bathroom to get ready for the day.
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"Your Highness, Mr. Thomas Shelby." The waiter announced as Thomas walked in with confidence.
"Welcome, Mr. Shelby, I believe you've met everyone apart from my wife. Grand Duchess Izabella Petrovna. Please, take a seat." The Archduke said, gesturing to his wife and then a seat next to Tatiana.
"Before we begin, Mr. Shelby, we must offer you our sincere condolences on your recent loss, which some of us witnessed." Tatiana leaned closer to him as she said this and Tommy nodded calmly, trying to keep a small smirk from forming knowing that his wife was alive and playing with there son at this very moment. There was an awkward silence between the group as Tommy stared down at the priest.
"Did you drive, Mr. Shelby?" Tatiana tried making conversation again and he nodded.
"Yes." He replied bluntly. He didn't want to spend more time than he needed to.
"They say you are an expert on cars." She added.
"Yes, I am." He stated, his gaze unwavering from the Priest.
"I am curious. What was your father's profession?" The Grand Duchess asked, and Tommy finally looked away.
"Well, he, erm He told fortunes and stole horses. Often, he would tell a man that his horse would be stolen, and they would marvel at his powers when it was." He explained with mock horror before turning back to the priest.
"Before we eat, should we say grace? For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful." The priest said as Tommy glared at the man before him. "Amen."
"I'm not here to eat, I'm here to do business. What I have to say can be said before the main course. Then I will leave you all to your evening." Tommy told them, getting more agitated as the evening went on. He had better things to do.
"Grand Duchess, I must apologize for the bad manners of my compatriot." The priest apologized but Tommy didn't care as he cleared his throat.
"This is a report on the mission's progress so far. I've made only one copy for security. Who, should I give it to?" Tommy asked, looking around the table.
"My husband is in charge of this operation. But since there will no doubt be vodka later, perhaps you should give it to me for safekeeping." The Duchess said as she took the envelope without another word as Leon sat back down, dejected. "Speak, Mr. Shelby, while we eat."
"Five factory foremen on our payroll have begun a campaign of victimisation against communist workers in five factories across Birmingham. Anger amongst the workers will grow, but we will control it. On the night of June 21st, a general strike will be called across the city. Protests will develop into riots. And all police who are not already under our control will be busy. The city will be paralysed." Thomas enlightened the group as quickly as possible.
"So, how will you move the train?" The Archduke asked.
"We have two locomotive drivers who have been allocated to drive the midnight-goods train to London. The armored vehicles will be waiting on flat beds." He answered.
"And the ammunition?"
"The ammunition—"
"I have to say that this soup is exceptional. Absolutely delicious." The Priest interrupted Thomas with his bullshit and Thomas knew he was trying to stall, rolling his eyes as he was completely done with this shit as he got back to the conversation.
"Ammunition, incendiaries, will already have been packed up and crated for transport to Istanbul."
"And how long to London?"
"The train won't reach London. All the goods will be unloaded at a coal yard in St Albans and put onto Shelby-Company trucks. From there, they will go directly to the Poplar Docks."
"Your Highness, if you're having difficulty understanding his accent then I can go through the plan with you at a later date." The priest added but everyone ignored him.
"If there is no ship waiting for my men, all goods will be dumped into the sea before first light." Thomas continued.
"And what happens when they discover the armored cars are missing?" Patrick Jarvis asked for the first time during the meeting.
"During the rioting the Lanchester Factory will be firebombed. A scrap-metal dealer of my acquaintance will declare that all the armored vehicles are in the wreckage and should be written off as salvage. No-one will know that they are in your possession." Thomas answered and the Duchess nodded.
"We formulated this plan when we met at Birmingham."
No, we didn't
"I'm certain that nothing has been overlooked." The priest said as Thomas pretended to write a number down on the napkin.
"This, erm is the amount of extra expense I believe I will incur for trucks and fuels. I trust you will respond in kind." Tommy said as he handed the napkin to the Duchess, she looked down at the napkin.
I have secrets
"But of course, Mr. Shelby." She said, playing along and he nodded before standing up from his seat.
"Before I go, I would like it known that I am unable to swallow food in the same room as this priest. Enjoy your evening." He walked out after that, leaving an awkward silence within the group as they looked at the Priest who looked uncomfortable.
"Tatiana? See Mr. Shelby to his car." The Duchess told her, and she nodded.
"Yes." Tatiana stood up and walked to the door where the Duchess told her to 'hear what he has to say' in Russian so that the Priest wouldn't know. Thomas was waiting by the door when Tatiana came up behind him with a small smile.
"Walk with me." He stated as they walked towards his car, he took out a cigarette for himself and then one to Tatiana who accepted it gracefully. He lit both before he started talking quietly. "The priest is passing information about the robbery to a Lloyd's underwriter called Monkland. He, in turn, is passing information to the Soviet Embassy. If you want him dead, I will kill him. No charge."
"Why would the priest pass information to our enemies?" Tatiana stopped in her tracks as the news hit her and Thomas rolled his eyes, walking back to her.
"I'm being paid to act and to observe, like a soldier. The complexities are your business. Go and speak to Izabella. I trust her to decide." He said before walking away from her, she followed this time.
"You are able to continue your business dealings even after what happened. Perhaps you didn't love her." She teased and he stopped, turning around quickly and grabbing her jaw as he walked them backwards.
"She's here. By my side. And she says, "Don't trust these people." Now, get me permission to kill the priest." He said knowing that Tatiana didn't know the true meaning behind his words as she was always beside him and he wasn't letting her go again. He never wanted to feel that way again. He walked away after that, getting back into his car as he left Tatiana there.
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When he arrived back at his house, it was the first time in a while where he wasn't dreading going into it, he knew it had to do with Lillian being there but walking through the door and seeing his wife and his son cuddling on the couch, both passed out from what he assumed was a very busy day he couldn't help but smile. Walking over to the pair, he gently stroked their cheeks. Charlie snuggled into his mother more as Lillian shifted, her eyes opening slightly, and she smiled back at him.
"Hey." She whispered.
"Hey."
"Did you just get in?" She asked curiously and he nodded.
"Yeah I'll tell you about it tomorrow, but I think we all need to go to bed." He told her and she agreed, going to stand but Tommy stopped her. One of the advantages of his wife being small is that she was easy to take her anywhere. She was to tired to disagree with Thomas and gripped Charlie tighter to her chest so that he wouldn't fall off as Tommy carried them.
"Charlie's staying with us tonight." Lillian murmured, nearly falling back asleep and Tommy smiled as he went into their room, carefully tucking the pair in before taking his suit off and joining them, wrapping his arms around the pair, pulling them closer before falling asleep soon after.
Had to update during the week of SEASON 5 starting again, I have missed them being on my screen and this looks like the best season yet. They truly don't give a fuck about anything anymore, I love it and I find it cute how Charlie doesn't give a fuck about what Tommy has to say and I can't wait to get to that season.
Who do you think the traitor is? I think it's maybe Michael or Esme because Esme hates Tommy because of John, would know where all the gypsies are and knows the ins and outs of the family business.
Published - 29th of September 2019