He wrote a lot.
On the front and back.
And his handwriting was top notch.
Juniper It started,
When I first saw you back in October, I pittyed you. A lonesome girl, without her family's support and with no friends. You kinda reminded me of myself. No mom, no dad and didn't like to refer to anyone as a friend. But then you became that, my friend. In so little time, you captivated my attention with the amazing person you are. I always thought people were all the same, all that talk about everyone being unique and special was bullshit. But then you came along and erased all of those thoughts. You're something else, June. You taught me how to love blindly and how to trust. Your the strongest person I know, who has had more cries than smiles, who has faced the most trials than any other person I know, who puts other people before her.
Baby, you are amazing, extroardinary and the best thing that will ever happen to me. And I could say with all honesty that I will never meet another person on the face of the earth like you, I will never love or feel the same way I feel about you with somoene else. It sounds stupid to say, since im so young but it feels so right, you have no idea.
We have had many set backs, said many awful thing's to each other and offended ourselves trying to help one another. You could say were toxic, we are too stubborn and that makes the relationship harder to function. When your with somoene, you have to balance your issues and there's, your worries and your stress automatically become the other person's concerns. Maybe we aren't ready for that, maybe we just dont know how to handle it or maybe its just not our way of dealing with it. There is no wrong or right way to do this.
You hurt me but I also hurt you. I'm so sorry, for everything I said the other day. I didn't mean it, I would never. I just wanted to push you, not enough to break but just enough to shatter. It was the only way you would listen and the only way I could force you to get help and go into treatment. I'm not sorry enough and I know its no excuse but it is my truth. You were spiralling out of control, and I was concerned for your safety and your mental health. I hope you can understand why I did it, I cant imagine a world without you, although I feel like I have lost you for good.
I understand if you never want to talk to me again. But, I want to tell you that I will always be here. In the good, in the bad, in the terrible and in the sad moments. When your in that space where you feel alone, like no one understands you, I want you to know that I do.
I love you baby girl, like I have never loved someone before. You will always be my first love, regardless of what happens later. I would never trade all of those moments we had toguether: wben you made that woman fall into the fountain, when we broke into that resort and got chased by the police officer, our late movie night's, the endless illegal sleepovers, the laughs, the cry's, the weakest moments and the strongest .
I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, how you smile when the sun sets or the stars can be seen clearly in the night, how when your irritated your cheeks flush red, that you can never shut up and often get into trouble, how fearless you are, you dont let anyone walk over you or talk crap about the people you love. You are selfless, brave, smart, funny and the most exceptional person I will meet. Unlike anybody else, you deserve the world.
I would like us to start over. If you'll want me, if you'll want us. I'm willing to fight for you, no matter your past, your dead brother, your O'd father or you imperfect mother.
The choice is yours.
You will make it out, you will get better. And I will be with you through it and after.
I love you, Juniper Kristen Marie Thompson, like you have no idea.
-Tyler.
I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath. When I opened them, I could barely see. Everything was blurry. Then, a single tear fell in slow motion and along with that came the rest. I hiccup a sob and for once in my life, I didn't feel bad or weak.
I felt loved, and I felt my heart explode because of that love. It had been so long since I felt this way, like I belonged somewhere, with somoene, in this gigantic world. I no longer felt lost, I no longer felt weak, I felt humane.
I kept crying, not caring about anyone that would see me, although there was nobody to observe me. Only the sky was my witness.
Suddenly, I felt my brain snap open and a series of events floated in my mind. I was sucked back into my childhood.
JJ and I were sitting on the edge of the rink, I was putting my skates on and he was busy on his phone.
"JJ, can you help me?" I asked him with a tiny voice.
He snorted.
"Your a big girl Krissy, you can do it yourself." He said, rolling his eyes.
"Why are you being such an ass?' I asked him. He gave me a blank look and wrapped his hands around my throat gently.
"Wach your tone, Krissy, I'm not mom and dad." He warned, applying a bit of pressure, just enough to make me squirm and gasp. He let go of me and I let out small coughs.
"And don't swear, its unladylike. " he said with a wicked grin. He stood up and left, going God know's where.
"Juniper, sweetie are you done?" My father's warm voice said. He came and kneeled infront of me. I blocked out JJ's mini rage episode and focused on tiying my laces. When I was done, I let my hair fall and ruffled it slightly. I stood up and zipped up my coat. My father offered me his hand but I shook my head.
"Im a big girl, daddy. Watch me." I told him and stepped into the ice rink. My small frame wobbled slightly but I regained my balance and started going around in circles. I caught my father's proud expression from afar and gave him a curious look. A skitted, the blades making noise against the ice at my abrupt stop.
"What's wrong?" I asked and he just continued to smile.
"You will make somoene very happy one day." Was all he said. I gave him a puzzled look as we sat on the nearby bench.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He just laughed and ruffled my hair.
"One day, when you find yourself alone, when I wont be here and when you feel like you have wandered far from the borders of home, you will find refuge in somebody who will fill you with love. And then, you wont be alone." He told me.
"How will I know?" I asked tentatively, my cheeks rosy pink because of the cold.
Dad smiled at me and touched my forehead gently.
"That, my dear daughter, is something you will have to figure out on your own. "
"You are very wise for your age, my child. You are a rare breed, a very unique, extraordinary and selfless human being." He said softly to me.
"Your making me feel like the math equation dad." I warned and he just smiled. He pulled me into a side hug.
"Promise me that no matter what happens, you will never forget how much I love you, Juniper." He said.
"I pinky promise." I said, holding out my finger. His laugh rang in my ears as we enjoyed the rest of the day.
Through my tears, I managed to smile. Without thinking, I grabbed my phone and dialed Tyler's number. He picked up almost immediately.
"...Juniper? " he said tentatively.
"My father once told me that someday, when the world turned black I would find someone who would make me feel less lonely and more full. And that person is you." I explained, my voice breaking with emotion.
"I dont care if we are young, I dont care about our past, I care about you like I have never cared about anything o anyone else. You make me want to be a better person, you make me want to live and keep being me. Your love cures me and heals me."
"You, Tyler Parker Anderson, are my home, my safe place. With you and by your side, the world seems less lonely, less gray and more colourful. Yo make me feel like I belong. We aren't perfect, we are far from it and that's alright. Like you said, there is no right way or wrong way to navigate through this. " a sob came out of me, shaking me entirely as I gripped my phone tightly, with such force that it would almost break.
"And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for putting you in such a di- difficult space. Fo-for being s-so ha- hard on you. You do not deserve that, y-you dont. I-im sorry." I cried.
"Shhh, baby, baby calm down." He hushed at me.
"Everything will be alright, I promise." He said softly.
"You sure you want to stick around? Thing's could get tangled." I said, calming down a bit.
He chuckled and I could almost hear his smile.
"I will be by your side and I will fight your battles along side you. Your victory is mine, your defeat is mine and your fight is my own as well. I'm not going anywhere. " he said to me and I smiled through my tears.
"I love you." I said. I know it wasen't the first time I said it but it felt like the first time I actually meant it.
"Me too baby, so so much." He said and I laughed lightly.
"So, what do you say? You up for another round?" He asked.
I smiled.
"Game on." I said with a sniffle.
I glanced back at the hospital.
"Come visit me soon, and call. I'll tell Aunt G to pass you the info." I said.
"Okay. I want you to relax, to forget about the outside world and to focus on yourself. Focus on healing and growing, alright? " he said.
"I promise."
"God, I wish I could kiss you right now." He said and I laughed.
"Well, well Mr. Anderson. No need to rush things." I teased, earning a laugh from him.
"Bye baby girl." He said, his voice filled with love.
"Bye Ty." I said and hung up.
I smiled. Tyler and I were not dating, it would take some time to get back to that, but it felt like we were something more. What something? I don't know. But it felt right.
And that was enough.
I strapped the bracelet on my wrist and placed the card in the envelope. I took a deep breath and entered the building once more. I sat next to Aunt G, placing my head on her shoulder.
She looked at me and wiped away a lone tear that fell on my cheek.
"You okay kiddo?" She asked, concerned.
I nodded and faced her.
"Thank you, for taking me in, for taking care of me and for being so understanding. I know its all so hard but, just know that I really appreciate it."
Aunt G touched my cheek.
"Your my niece, Juniper. I would go to the ends of the earth to comfort you and to provide you with everything you need. Your like the daughter I could never have. And no matter what happens, my love for you will never falter. It will always be right here." She placed her hand on my chest, where my heart would be.
I smiled at her.
Everything, for the first time in forever, felt sorta right.
"Juniper Thompson, please come." A professional looking man beckoned us over. We entered his office.
"Well, Ms. Thompson, as of today you will be submitted into the hospital and will start treatment right away." He said in a matter of fact voice.
I nodded.
"How long will her stay be?" My Aunt asked.
"That will be up to Ms. Thompson. If or If not she cooperates and gives into the reconstruction and healing process." He said, giving me a pointed look.
Reconstruction? What am I, a robot?
"Your nurse will be waiting for you once you get out. You will hand over your belongings to her and she will give them to you wen it is close to lights out. She will explain, answer and clarify any doubt you have." He said to me.
He turned towards Aunt G.
"Ma'am, you'll need to stay so I can explain the protocols, procedure, visiting hours , calls and our program."
"Thank you." Aunt G said and he nodded.
He looked at me.
"Get well." Was all he said.
"Thanks." I mutterd.
I exited the office and into the lobby.
"Juniper Thompson? " a woman called and I looked up to see a tall nurse. She had blonde short pixy hair and green eyes. She was dressed in her baby blue uniform and smiled warmly at me.
"My name is Jessica, I'm your nurse. I'm going to need you to hand over any electronic device you have on you, as well as any jewelry or string you may have to your guardian." I did as she told me ,handing Aunt G my phone, the envelope and my hoodie string to her. I hesitated when I looked at the bracelet.
I looked at Jessica.
"Can I keep this?" I asked. She took my wrist and inspected the material it was made of.
"Okay, you can keep it." She said and I sighed in relief.
"Come with me, we'll get you settled in." She said, extending her hand.
I looked back at Aunt G. She handed me my big dark purple duffel bag, filled with my personally belongings that would last me at least a week.
She gave me a hug.
"If you need more, which I doubt, just let me know." She said and I laughed.
"I love you pumpkin, I'll see you soon." She whisperd in my ear.
"I love you more, Aunt G." I whisperd back, tears falling down my eyes.
She pulled back and wiped my face, smiling through her own tears.
"Shhh, no crying. Dont be sad, I'll call every day and I'll visit as soon as they let me." She said.
"Promise your not disappointed." I said, feeling guilty.
"Honey, I could never! You have grown up into a strong young woman and I coudint be prouder. You are everything I hoped you would be, your father would be very, very proud if you. "
"This just a bump in the road, girly. Pretty soon, you'll be back in track. So take this opportunity to relax, work on yourself and on your recovery, okay?" I nodded, laughing lightly as more tears fell.
I hugged her one last time before taking Jessica's hand. I waved at Aunt G and started making my way down the hall.
"Dont worry, everything will be fine." Jessica told me and I nodded.
I'll fight, I thought to myself. No more backing down, this time its for real.
Game on, bitch. No more voices.
No more shadows.
No more torment.
No more defeat.
This nightmare end's now.
Im coming for you... brother.
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Double update cause why not? :)
Blame my absence on sophomore year, which has just started. Wish me luck.
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Also, I may or may not drop a new story soon, who know's...
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Toodles!
-Ali
Edited