I felt the tears trickle down my cheeks and drip into my ears. I couldn’t be pregnant; I wasn’t ready for a baby. God me and Dan had only been together a couple of days, and me and Jayden were no longer together. I wasn’t ready for this. Me and Dan were only twenty one, yea I know Evie and Luke are as well but they’ve been together for a while now and have been best friends since forever. I suppose it’s the same for me and Dan but our relationship was still so new, this was too fast. If this has happened for Evie and Luke then I am happy for them I really am, but right now...for me...children didn’t feel like part of my plan.
I liked how things were going with Dan, we were all loved up in our own bubble. Our bubble that I thought no one or nothing could penetrate. Guess I was wrong on that. I turned on my side, facing the dull brown fence, my back against the house. If I was pregnant, it would ruin everything because I would have to tell Dan that there is a possibility that the baby wouldn’t be his and it would kill him. Then probably kill our relationship.
I felt someone stroking my cheek making my eye lids open. I was greeted by Dan smiling at me before his happy eyes turned to worry as he noticed I’d been crying.
“Baby is everything okay?”
“Not really”
“You know you can tell me.”
“Yea I know I can...Ermm Dan” I say sitting up in the hammock swinging my legs over the edge and patting for him to sit down with me, which he did.
I leant back onto the netting, letting my legs swing gently.
“ what is it?” Dan asks me pulling me in close
“If I’m pregnant will you stand by me?”
“Baby girl of course i will, I mean how could I leave the girl who was pregnant with my baby...” he began then I think he clicked at why I asked him.
“You’re worried it’s not mine?” he asks and I close my eyes as the tears fall down and I nod.
“I mean, I always used protection with Jayden, he insisted on it. But one time it split. I took the morning after pill and spoke to a nurse who said that the likelihood of me being pregnant is very low. There is still a chance that I could, even with me on the pill as well.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks me, stroking my hair ever so carefully.
“I didn’t want to let you know. But I was scared and now im petrified of losing you.”
“Baby girl you could never lose me okay. I will always be your best friend!”
“But if I’m pregnant with Jayden’s kid...you won’t stay with me right?” I replied and Dan stayed silent for a couple more seconds than I was hoping for.
“Just forget it” I say standing up off the hammock and running inside.
“Tink no....” I heard Dan shout before Evie shouted at me “...” But I ignored her, grabbing the pink bag off the table and running up to my room, slamming my bedroom door and locking it behind me.
Why was my life never just straight forward?
***
I sat on my bathroom worktop reading the instruction leaflet. I know it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what end you’re meant to pee on but it was helping me calm my nerves down.
“Liv let me in, I’m sorry.” Dan shouted whilst knocking on my door.
I didn’t reply, I just continued to look out the leaflet. I decided I’d better do it now before I lost my nerve.
“I’m not going anywhere until you answer this door and talk to me ”
I guess he was waiting a while then.
Once again...I ignored him.
I did what I needed to do before placing it down on my desk. I lay on my bed, curling my arms around my knees...sobbing.
How could three minutes take so long. I swear I’ve counted to sixty about ten times already.
I checked my phone once more...it was time. I stood up and walked over to my desk, my heart thumping a million miles an hour under my rib cage. I didn’t think it could physically go that fast but it was. So it would either say positive or negative....none of this one line, two line crap.
Okay so was I pregnant or not?
*Dan POV*
I was sat outside Liv’s room, waiting for her to come out. How stupid was I...of course I couldn’t leave her if she was pregnant, whether the child was mine or not.
No one else was ever going to take my place of being with her...ever. I’ve only had her for three days not a chance I’m losing her.
The door opened and I fell backwards onto the wall, making her giggle slightly. I quickly stood up and looked her straight into the eyes.
“Dan...” she began but I pressed my finger against her lip.
“You need to listen to me...”
“But Dan...”
“, before you tell me the result of your test I need you to listen to what I have to say.” I insisted and she nodded. I walked back into her bedroom and sat her down on the bed with me opposite her, holding her hands.
“Baby girl I am so sorry for hurting you. I just need you to know that I am never leaving you okay. You are stuck with me forever, you and I together always. If you are pregnant and it turns out that it is Jayden’s...I will promise you I will never go. You are my girl. So I guess it’s my baby. I never want you to doubt me, never think that I won’t be here to love and support you because I am. I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to...I love you too much.’
She didnt say anything to me, she just pushed her lips onto mine, laying me down on the bed.
“I love you so much Dan”
“I love you too baby girl...so you going to tell me...are we going to be parents?”
She paused slightly and sat up and I followed her action. A smile crept on her lips but I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing....
“No not yet” she smiled showing me the test.
“So you’re not pregnant?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Okay” I grinned and kissed her, “But I meant everything I said...”
“I know you did ...and it means everything to me”
I kissed her nose gently before linking my fingers with hers. “Come on Tink...let’s go downstairs.”
We spent the rest of the day curled up watching movies and talking about the baby with Luke and Evie.
Liv and Evie were sat looking though baby items on the internet on the sofa, squealing every so often when they saw something that was ‘a must’ or ‘so cute’. Me and Luke just played fifa sat on the other sofa, leaving the girls to it but also discussing the baby. Luke couldn’t stop smiling, I was so happy for him.
I could see Liv getting excited talking about the baby and I knew she was broody. But right now I don’t think either of us are ready for that responsibility. But if it happens then I’ll step up and try to be the best dad I can...that’s all I can do really.