Namjoon lifted up the window, getting inside of Jin's bedroom. At the same time he was going to enter his room, Jin's mother entered it, holding a tray of food for Jin.
"Let's see if he eats this time... Namjoon! What are you doing here? How did you even get in?" Namjoon tensed up, staring at her. He could tell by her suspicious fake tone of voice that the woman was hiding something.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Kim, but I went to see Jin at the hospital and they told me he was released
a while back." Now the one tensing up was Jin's mother.
"Oh, I see. Can I talk to you for a second, honey?" Namjoon followed the woman outside, seeing Jin was looking up at him with glossy eyes.
"Have a seat, please." His mother sounded worried about Namjoon's presence and the boy noticed it.
"Mrs. Kim... What's going on?" She sighed for a moment, staring at Namjoon.
Namjoon folded his hands together, waiting for her to answer him.
"Thank you for saving him, Namjoon. You did well." Namjoon nodded.
"But-" Jin's mother paused, alarming the boy. She grabbed his hand, gently. Her facial expressions showed sympathy and sadness.
"I'm afraid you can no longer see Jin." Namjoon's eyes widened with surprise.
He wasn't expecting Jin's mother to tell him such a thing. But why? He hasn't done anything bad to Jin.
"What? Why not?" His voice started off low and quiet, but ended up louder than he thought he sounded.
"As you know, our son was raped by your uncle." Namjoon nodded, feeling upset even thinking about what happened to Jin.
"Everyone in your family now knows about the incident, they all know about what he did
to Seokjin... Which is why I can't let him be seen with you anymore." This still didn't make any sense in Namjoon's perspective.
"I Don't... I don't understand. Why? Why can't I still be friends with him?" Jin's mother, showing little to no concern over Namjoon's sudden change in behavior, proceeded to dig a deeper hole into the wolf's heart.
"He doesn't trust your family anymore, Joonie... And that includes you as well." Namjoon got up.
"What!?" He raised his voice, thinking that what she was saying was ridiculous. But Jin's mom had her reasons as to why she wanted to keep Namjoon away from her son.
"Pardon me, but that's absurd! I would never hurt Jin and you know it. He knows it!" She covered Namjoon's mouth.
"I'm going to ask you to keep your voice low, Namjoon. Jin cannot hear our conversation.
It'll cause him to stress out more."
"More? Ever thought that his stress was caused by you, enabling him from seeing me anymore, Mrs. Kim?" Namjoon walked towards Jin's mother.
"Don't forget that you were the one who separated him from me in the first place." He felt
accomplished, knowing that he was speaking with the truth, but Jin's mom thought otherwise and found her ways on how to make herself seem right again.
By doing so, she wasn't thinking at the moment and spoke her mind a little bit too rude and graphically to Namjoon, unaware of the pain she could cause him.
"Because of you my son is now a mute! A mute who was raped by a family member of yours when left in your hands." Namjoon stayed shut, stepping back as Jin's mother earned her rights again.
"What kind of friend are you? What type of family do you have! Jin's life is ruined... All because of you. It's your fault, Namjoon." She started crying.
Namjoon tilted his head upwards, feeling someone was eavesdropping on their conversation, then he saw it.
A tall boy, standing on the top of the staircase, tears streaming down his face.
Jin heard everything. His heart was shattered. He couldn't walk properly because of the stitches in his bottom, so he just stared at Namjoon and his own mother in silence alone. His friend had left the house a while ago without anyone even noticing.
He continued to listen in disgust to what his mother was saying to Namjoon, in shock of the words that were coming out of her mouth.
Namjoon was aware that Jin was staring at him, but he didn't get the chance to speak to him, because as soon as Jin's mother opened her mouth to speak again, she said something that left Namjoon speechless.
"Jin dreamt of becoming a singer. He dreamt of being able to sing and become someone in the future. Someone who's name would be remembered. Now no one will even be able to hear him pronounce his own name." Namjoon didn't know about this information on Jin.
However, all that Namjoon knew was that the boy used to enjoy recording his own voice at night whenever he gained inspiration from what he was feeling, or what was going on in his life.
He never imagined that meant that Jin wanted to be a singer. Now Namjoon's guilt grew bigger than before.
"Each night I would hear him singing..." Jin's mother crumbled up on a couch, singing to herself a song that Jin used to sing, with tears spilling out of her reddened eyes.
Namjoon couldn't take the guilt any longer, he left the house and ran to his own apartment.
Jin was still upstairs, crying more than before. He slowly limped away from the staircase, lying back down on his bed, as slow and as careful as he could so that he wouldn't injure himself again.
When he rested his aching body, he found that his wounds didn't heart as much as his heart. His shattered, bleeding heart that was now beating faster than ever.
The fox couldn't lie down on his side, so he remained in a straight position, letting the salty tears drip down the sides of his temples, wetting his dry hair.
His crying didn't make a sound, but he was screaming on the inside.
~~~
Namjoon didn't know what to do anymore. Jin's mother just about ended with his life by telling him off, scolding him and blaming the boy for something that he wasn't at fault for.
But hearing her side of the story, in her perspective, Namjoon will always be guilty for what happened to Jin.
And the deeper Namjoon thought about it, the more his mind was able to convince him into thinking that he truly was guilty.
He locked himself in his bedroom, staring at himself in a mirror. The mirror looked back at him, and all Namjoon could see were words.
Words that read:
"Hurt."
"Broken."
"Alone.."
"Guilt."
"Failure."
Those five words stayed in his head, circling around the man and slowly killing him.
~~~
Jin touched the gauze pad that rested on his throat. He was getting it removed in two days, and he knew that it would be painful to see that scar, the remains of what was left when his vocal cords were cut off of him.
His thoughts were getting louder, thinking about how Namjoon probably felt and what he's going through right now.
His mind made up words that were building up in his disrupted mind:
"Pain.."
"Anger."
"Scarred."
"Fear."
"Loveless..." Without Namjoon, Jin would never love another man again.
The medications for his pain were taking over his body, making the boy feel droopy.
His eyelids closed up, still managing to stream tears out of his eyes even though they were closed. Jin fell into a troublesome sleep, thinking only of Namjoon until his mind went blank when he started to dream of random things.