Bucky unwrapped his arm from around Steve's waist, clambering off the motorbike while gripping at the olders shirt. He unbuckled the helmet, slipping it off of his hot head of hair and handed over to Steve, giving a small smile. "Thanks for that.. I really needed it." He mumbled, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear.
Steve smiled, showing off his white teeth. "No need to thank me, I'm here anytime you need someone to talk to."
"Yes there is... I was so horrible to you.. only thinking of my dads side of the story without even asking for yours, I'm sorry-
Steve hushed him by placing a finger over his lips. Dragging it down, his eyes watched intently as the plump bottom lip of Bucky's mouth drew down with his finger and flicked back up as he pulled it away. The action caused Bucky to blush and nibble on his bottom lip, Steve sending him a knowing smirk.
"It's fine, doll. I get why, you were angry. I caused you to lose your arm, there's no need to apologise." He hushed, brushing his thumb gently across Bucky's cheek.
Bucky keened at the touch, wishing that he could stay in this moment forever. Realising that he had lingered his hand too long, Steve retracted it and smiled softly at the boy. "Goodbye, Bucky."
Bucky stopped himself from whining and giving the man a disappointing frown, urging a forced smile onto his lips. "Goodbye, Steve. Thanks, again. I really appreciate it."
"No problem. I'll see you round."
With the wave of his hand and one last smile, Steve was off down the street and leaving Bucky alone.
Bucky gave a soft sigh, turning around and spotting Natasha standing at the top of the stairs of the school, arms crossed. His eyes blew wide and he gulped, preparing to make up some lame excuse when Natasha cut him from doing so by pulling him into a hug.
"Fuck, you scared me, Buck." She uttered, pressing his face gently into the crook of her neck by his hair. "I thought you had gone and hurt yourself- don't do that to me again."
Bucky hugged her back, breathing in her vanilla like smell that always seemed to calm him down. "I'm sorry.." he whispered into her neck. "I should've told you I couldn't handle it.. but I shut you out again. Typical me.. I'm so fucking sorry."
Natasha hushed him, running her fingers gently through his hair as she kissed his temple. "It's okay.. we all keep things to ourselves, even when we shouldn't. It's human nature. But I still don't understand why you didn't tell me and why you messaged that Steve guy Instead of me.." she whispered, pulling away from the hug and cupping his cheeks. "Do you not trust me?"
"Of course I trust you!" Bucky cried, "I just- sometimes it's easier talking to a stranger about my problems then it is with a friend.. or just.. asking for advice.. I'm so fucking sorry.. I- I'm such a nuisance.."
Natasha shook her head. "No.. I understand. Well.. now I do. I just- I guess I was upset that you didn't come to me.. or that you haven't been coming to me with your problems.. you've only been going to Tchalla or keeping them to yourself. I just want you to feel like you can tell me anything and that you aren't alone in anything you're going through."
"I already know that I can go to you.. I'm so sorry.. Jesus all I ever do is make you worry.."
"Stop apologising, Buck. Of course I worry about you, we're best friends. It's my job to worry about you."
"Thanks Nat.. for everything." Bucky whispered, falling into her arms once again and burying his face in her neck.
Natasha gave a small smile, wrapping her arms tightly around the boys middle. "I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too."
"Lets head back inside, everyone's waiting.."
Bucky flinched. "Are they.. mad?"
"No. Well.. only a little bit. But more so worried."
He nodded, grabbing ahold of her hand and allowing her to lead him back inside of the quiet school. They strode down the halls, small smiling at passing teachers and bidding them goodbye. Natasha came to a stop in front of their English classroom and Bucky peered inside, spotting all of his friends sitting in a circle on the desks and chairs.
Bucky gulped. "They're so mad.." he thought to himself.
Noticing the worry in his eyes, Natasha gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before opening the door. At the sound of the squeaking door opening, the group of friends turned and stared at the two from their seats, relief washing over their features.
Natasha pulled Bucky into the room, taking a seat on one of the chairs and leaving him to stand before them. "Well?" Bruce countered. "Where the hell have you been? Do you know how worried we were?! We had to tell the school that you were at an appointment and had forgotten to sign out!"
Bucky flinched at the angry tone of his friend, stuffing his hand inside of his pocket and bowing his head. "I'm sorry.." he squeaked, kicking a foot back and forth. "I didn't mean to make you worry."
"Well you did." Tchalla added, getting up from his seat and walking over to Bucky. "Why didn't you answer our calls or texts?"
"My phone died."
"Bullshit it did. You wanted us to worry, you wanted to scare us that you might go and fucking hurt yourself or even try to kill yourself again! All for what? Attention? To get back at us for joking around with you or not noticing you?" Tchalla hissed.
"Wh-What? No.. you don't.. you don't mean that- this- this isn't you.. I- I would never-
"Wait- whats this about trying to kill yourself again?" Natasha questioned. "What does he mean Bucky?"
Tears welled up in the boys eyes as Tchalla glared at him with venom in his gaze, hands clenched into fists by his side. "Do you wanna tell them? Or should I?"
"Tell us what?" Bruce asked, looking between the two.
Bucky gulped down the lump that had begun to form in the back of his throat, letting a tear fall down his cheek and over his pursed lips. "I- I... last night... l-last night I- I got s-so far g-gone... so d-deep in my thoughts... that I- I started.. I started thinking that.. that I didn't wanna l-live anymore..." he whimpered, tears now freely flowing down his cheeks as he sniffled. "And I... I listened.. to the.. to the voice in my h-head and uh... I g-got dads.. dads pistol.. and went into the w-woods.."
Natasha cupped a hand over her lips, tears welling up in her eyes as she watched her friend, brokenly talk.
"And.. and before I could.. could pull the.. the trigger... St-Steve.. that guy from the river.. tackled me to.. to the ground and threw the... threw the pistol away-
Bucky was cut off by Natasha and Bruce gathering him in their arms, hushing him as he weeped and coughed, mumbling apologies. "It's okay.. it's okay.." they whispered, holding onto him tightly. "We've got you.."
Tchalla's face softened and he cursed at himself. He shouldn't have done that.. he shouldn't have yelled at Bucky when he was in this state.. he was such an idiot!
"I-I'm so s-sorry." Bucky whimpered. "I should've t-told you.."
"It's okay.. it's okay.." Natasha cooed, wiping away her tears. "Your okay.. don't apologise.."
"I'm sorry- I'm sorry.. I'm so fucking stupid.. I shouldn't have tried.. I'm so sorry.."
"Bucky." Bruce said calmly. "We all slip under sometimes.. some more then others. Just.. please tell me your dad knows.."
Bucky shook his head.
"Bucky.." they whispered, "you have to tell him.."
"I- I know.. I'm sorry.. I.. just.. what if he gets mad? What if... what if he sends me away?"
"He won't.. we'll be there if you want us to be.."
"No.. I.. I have to do this on my own.."
**********
Bucky closed the front door behind himself, not bothering to slip off his shoes and walked into the lounge to find Tony pacing back and forth. Bucky gulped, wiping the tears from his cheeks.
"D-Dad?" He croaked, stepping closer to his father. "I- I have to.. um.. I have to t-tell you something.."
Tony spun around on his heel, sighing in relief and pulling Bucky into his arms, holding him tightly. "I already know.." he whispered, voice cracking. "I- I saw that t-the gun was m-missing.. I saw that boy.."
Bucky fell to his knees, sobbing harshly and clutching at his shirt. "I'm so sorry!" He howled. "I-I'm so.. so ... s..sorry." He cupped his hand over his mouth and begun to bend in on himself.
Tony dropped to his knees before his son and gathered him into his arms, rocking him back and forth while hushing him. "shh shh." He mumbled, trying to stop his own tears from falling. "Shh."
Bucky continued to howl and whimper into his fathers chest, mumbling apology after apology and clutched at Tony's shirt. "Hey hey soldier.. it's okay.. I'm not mad.. I just.. I just wish you came to me.. woke me up.. told me you were feeling this way.."
"I-I know... I sh-shouldn't have listened.. I was.. I was just so.. far gone.. I.. couldn't fight back.. I'm sorry.. I'm such a failure.."
"Bucky." Tony spoke sternly, holding Bucky on either side of his face. "You are not a failure. You are so brave.. coming and telling me.. I love you so so much.. please talk to me next time.. I can't.. I can't lose you.."
The two stayed in each other's arms late into the night. Not uttering a word. Nothing needed to be said. They just needed to be in each other's arms, comforting one another. Crying. Hugging. Until Bucky finally managed to calm himself down and allowed Tony to tuck him into bed, kissing his forehead and whispering an 'I love you.'
Bucky waited for a few seconds, staring up at the ceiling that was covered in light and shadows from his furniture. Once he knew that Tony was in bed, Bucky lent over and grabbed his phone from off his bedside table and went into Steve's contact.
Steve. I need to talk to you. ~ Bucky
His phone buzzed almost instantly with a reply from the other, causing Bucky to quirk the corners of his mouth only slightly.
Hey kid. Everything okay? ~ Steve
They found out. My friends. My dad. They all found out. ~ Bucky
Are you okay? What happened? ~ Steve
My friend.. was mad.. really mad that I had disappeared without letting anyone know.. my other friends were mad and worried also.. and he just let it slip. And it led to me having to explain.. ~ Bucky
What did they say? Do you need me to come over? ~ Steve
They hugged me and told me that it was okay.. that everyone slips under sometimes and they told me that I needed to tell my dad. That he deserved to know. And no it's okay.. I think I'll be okay by myself.. ~ Bucky
Okay.. message me if you need me to come over. What happened with your dad? ~ Steve
He said he already knew. He saw that the gun was gone.. and that he saw Tchalla leaving my room this morning.. he.. told me that he wished that I had woken him up, and we stayed on the floor hugging as we tried to stop crying.. I feel like I've really let him down.. I'm so stupid. I should've never done what I did. ~ Bucky
Bucky that wasn't you. You couldn't handle the voice inside of your head any longer and listened. We all sometimes break. But that doesn't mean we can't help ourselves get better. I'm here for you. Your friends and family are here for you. Your not alone in this. Your not stupid. Your not a failure and your not a disappointment. ~ Steve
Bucky smiled weakly down at the message, feeling the tears resurfacing in his eyes and falling down his cheeks.
Thanks Steve.. I really needed that. ~ Bucky
Of course Doll. I'm always here if you need me.. but I think it's time you get some sleep, don't you? Or would you like to talk some more? I don't mind. ~ Steve
"He's such a sweetheart."
Can we talk for a little bit longer? I don't think I can go to sleep just yet. ~ Bucky
Yes, of course. What'd you wanna talk about? ~ Steve
Dunno.. hmm 20 questions? ~ Bucky
Sure. ~ Steve
Yay. You start. ~ Bucky
Okay.. hm.. What would you rate 10 / 10? ~ Steve
Bucky thought for a few moments, fingers hovering over the keyboard before typing a response.
Def 60-80s music. Elvis, Queen, the Beatles. That sorta stuff. Hbu?
Never thought you'd be into 'old' music. Me? Not sure.. I really love animals?
Dogs?
Duh!
Well I've got a treat for you. Get it? Haha.. my dogs in my room Rn
Send a pic!!!!!
Bucky chuckled, tapping the camera button and snapping a quick picture of Dodger with his toy lion on the floor, staring innocently up at his owner.
Aw!! He's so cute!! What's his name??
Dodger.
Now I really wanna meet him.
You can hopefully one day :)
Really?
Yeah!
Yes! :)
The two conversed for hours, Bucky fluttering his eyes shut and going off soundly to sleep at Steve's final text with dodger in his arms.
Your most likely asleep by now seeming as you haven't answered in awhile haha. So sweet dreams, doll xx
***********
Bucky woke up the next morning to Tony gently shaking him, mumbling something along the lines of "wake up, sleepy head". Bucky did as he was told, fluttering open his eyes and staring up at his dad.
"Morning." He croaked.
Tony smiled. "Morning. You feeling okay since last night?"
"Yeah.. I am."
"Good. I have to go into town and run some errands, Peter's in bed sick. Could you look after him for me?"
Bucky nodded tiredly, pulling back his covers and sitting up right. "Yeah. Course." He gently rubbed the sleep from his eyes one at a time, smiling softly as Tony pressed a kiss to the crown of his head and ruffled his hair.
"I'll be back soon, kiddo. Keep an eye on your brother for me."
"I will."
Bucky watched Tony leave his room with a small wave, closing the door softly behind himself. The boy sighed, reaching over and grabbing his phone that had fallen to the floor during the night and sat on his bed with his legs dangling over the side.
He couldn't help but smile at the last text Steve had sent him.
Your most likely asleep by now seeming as you haven't answered in awhile haha. So sweet dreams, doll xx ~ Steve
Those pet names would be the death of him.
As Dodger began to lick at the boys toes, Bucky typed a response with small giggles leaving his lips, causing dodger to bark happily and continue his work.
Hey sorry I fell asleep haha.. I guess I really was tired. Xx ~ Bucky
Bucky placed his phone face down on his bedside table, sliding off of his bed and trudging toward his connected bathroom. He grimaced at the sight, grabbing the hairbrush from the cabinet and started to rake it through his nottie hair.
A groaned surpassed his lips at the puffy mess he had made and threw the hairbrush back into the cabinet. "Fucking hell, maybe I should get a haircut?" Bucky thought aloud. "Nah."
Bucky walked back over to his bedside table, picking up his phone and smiling once he had flipped it over.
It's fine doll, you had a pretty big day yesterday. How are you this morning though? ~ Steve
I'm alright. Better then yesterday though. How are you? ~ Bucky
That's good, and I'm pretty good. Tired. Had to stay up most of the night with a friend, he wasn't in a good state. ~ Steve
Oh no.. is he okay? ~ Bucky
Yeah, Sams okay now. Just kinda scared me haha, he's fast asleep on my couch Rn. Anyway, are you at home? ~ Steve
Yeah. Have to look after my little brother, he's pretty sick so he better not give it to me haha ~ Bucky
Haha, Yeah. That wouldn't be good. Have you heard from any of your friends? ~ Steve
No, not yet. I think they don't wanna smother me with messages. They'll probably check up on me later. ~ Bucky
Okay, good. Hey I gtg, Sams just woken up and doesn't look too good. I'll talk to you later? ~ Steve
Definitely ~
Bucky quickly backspaced the message. He didn't wanna seem too desperate to talk to the other.
Yeah, sure. Make sure Sams alright. Bye Steve ~ Bucky
I will, bye doll. ~ Steve
Bucky couldn't help but flop back onto his bed and groan. Those bloody pet names. All he could think about was how Steve was most likely making his friend Sam something to drink, asking him if he wanted to talk about whatever had happened, not pressuring if he didn't, and giving him a friendly hug. My god he was perfect.
The croaky call of his name coming from Peter's room cut Bucky from his thoughts and he shook his head, getting up from the bed and heading to his brothers room.
"Yeah Pete?" Bucky asked quietly, opening the door and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "What's up?"
"What happened last night?" Peter coughed, cupping a hand over his mouth. "Why were you and dad crying?"
He gave a soft sigh. "It doesn't matter, Pete. It was just something that.. that happened at school. Nothing to worry about." He lied.
"What happened? Did they say something?"
"They said a lot of things.. it hurt.. but I'm okay. You don't need to worry bout it, all you need to worry about is getting better and not getting me sick."
Peter gave a halfhearted giggle. Snuggling his head into his pillow, he pulled the covers up to his chin and mumbled. "Okay."
Bucky smiled softly, reaching over and gently ruffling his brothers hair. "Get some sleep, okay? I'll be in the lounge if you need me."
He turned off the lamp on peters bedside table before exiting the room and closing the door. Bucky walked into the kitchen, smiling as Alfie came running over and rubbed against his legs. "Hey, Alf." He mumbled, bending down and giving the cat a scratch.
Alfie purred softly in delight, giving a soft meow before running off once again down the hall. Bucky chuckled softly, slumping into the lounge and falling down onto the couch. He should really make himself some breakfast, seeming as he was wide awake now. Bucky sighed at his logic and got off of the comfortable furniture, heading into the kitchen.
As Bucky began to make himself some breakfast, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and butterflies start to flutter in his stomach. But his excitement was cut short at seeing it was Nat.
Hey buckaroo, just wanted to see how you were feeling after yesterday's events. Did everything go okay with your dad? I'm here if you need to talk to anyone xx ~ Nat
Please tell me that's not my name in your contacts.. and yeah, I'm alright. Thanks Nat xx ~ Bucky
Oh it is now! Of course buckaroo, I love you so so much xx ~ Nat
Love you too xx now stop texting in class. You get a detention. ~ Buckaroo
Don't tell me how to live my life stark. ~ Nat
Bucky laughed down at the message, turning his phone off and sitting down at the table to eat his breakfast.
But the teens peace and quiet was quickly cut off by the sound of peter throwing up from his room. "Bucky?!"
"Coming!"
************
Bucky slipped the large hoodie up over his head, watching it fall above his knees before pulling the elastic from his hair and sinking into his bed. He was planning on reading a book Tony had gotten for him from the library, but was quickly interrupted by the loud buzzing of his phone.
The boy groaned, placing the book down open in his lap and grabbed his phone. Tchalla was trying to FaceTime him. Bucky sighed yet answered the call, balancing the phone atop his book and his knees.
"Hey." He said tiredly once the called had connected, twiddling the hoodie string around his fingers. "What's up?"
"Hey, Buck.." Tchalla mumbled. "I- I'm sorry.."
"What for?"
"Yesterday. I let my anger get the best of me and I.. I don't know why I reacted in that way. I was so worried about you and I.. I know that's no excuse but I'm just so sorry."
Bucky shook his head. "It's okay.. I deserved it. I shouldn't have just ignored your texts and calls.. I should've told them in the first place.."
"Yeah but I feel like an ass.. I shouldn't have yelled.." Tchalla responded with a small sigh, rubbing his eyes.
"T.. it's fine. Stop worrying. Am I missing anything big at school?" The boy asked, drifting the subject and hoping that the other went along with it.
Tchalla thankfully did. "Um.. oh! We got a new history teacher, Miss Carter. She's frigging amazing. Like no joke, she was in the army with her two friends and she said that she's gonna tell us about what it was like and stuff."
"Oh cool.. now I wish I was there."
"Why don't you come then?"
"You know I can't."
"Why n- oh.. right.. well.. why don't you just come for like half the day then?" Tchalla suggested. "Get yourself back into going to school?"
"Yeah.. I guess I could." Bucky shrugged. "I guess I'll talk to dad."
"Awesome."
"Yeah.."
The two drifted into a slightly uncomfortable silence, Tchalla opening his mouth a few seconds later and Bucky had a feeling of what he was going to say, but was cut off by the sound of banging on his window.
Bucky jumped, turning his head toward his open curtain window to see Steve standing there, soaking wet and still whacking his hand against the glass.
"Shit- I gotta go sorry, talk to you tomorrow, BYE!"
He hung up the call before Tchalla could utter a response, throwing his covers back and running over to the window. Bucky ripped it open, squinting as the rain blew harshly against his face.
Bucky grabbed ahold of Steve's brown leather jacket with his hand and pulled him into the bedroom, slamming the window down. "Shit Steve!" He hissed, closing the curtains. "What the hell are you doing here?? My dad will be home any second!"
Steve coughed slightly, wiping a hand down his face to rid of the drops of water. "Sorry." He whispered, voice hoarse. "I ran out of first aid supplies at home.."
"What'd you mean?"
Steve shrugged off his jacket at the teens confusion, reaching out his right arm to show the large gash covered in dry blood. "Oh- it's stopped bleeding."
"Fuck Steve-" Bucky cursed, "how did this happen?"
"I got caught in a fence."
"Jesus Christ, stay right there. I'll be back with some gauze and tape."
Steve nodded, waiting patiently for the adorable boy to come back. As he did so, Steve scanned his eyes around Bucky's room, smiling softly at all of the Polaroid pictures stuck to his wall.
"You into photography?" He asked once Bucky walked back into the room. "They're pretty good."
"Thanks.. my mum got me into it." Bucky responded, kneeling before the taller and keeping his eyes only on the gash.
"How come I don't see her in any of the photos?"
"She never liked being photographed..." Bucky lied. "Just- I'm going to gently wash the cut to get all the dirt out, Okay?"
Steve knotted his eyebrows in confusion at the blunt change of subject, opening his mouth to question further but winced as a cloth with antiseptic brushed over the cut. "Ow- fuck.." he hissed, "no warning?"
"Oh crap- sorry.. I'm sorry.." Bucky mumbled, bringing the cloth away. "I thought you knew what I was about to do."
"No, but it's fine. I'm ready now."
With a small nod, the boy got back to work on the cut, wincing and flinching every time he heard Steve hiss and curse in pain. Steve was biting harshly at his bottom lip, almost drawing blood by the time Bucky was finished. "I'm sorry.. I didn't think it would hurt so much.. I guess it's pretty deep."
"It's fine." Steve grumbled softly. "I'm just a wimp."
"Steve, if this was me, I'd be crying my eyes out by now." Bucky giggled, grabbing the gauze pad. "I can be a total baby when I wanna be."
Steve chuckled at that, grabbing the tape from beside the boy and found the end. "Well shit- I didn't realise it was that deep. That was one sharp piece of wire, let me tell you."
"I guess you have to be more careful."
The two got to work on covering up the cut, Bucky mainly mumbling apologies and Steve cursing. But once they were done and Bucky had gotten rid of the first aid kit, he and Steve sat quietly on his bed.
"You're a pretty good nurse." Steve commented. "Now I know I have two people to go to if I get hurt."
Bucky chuckled. "How often do you get hurt?"
"Pretty regularly."
"My god- I don't think that's something to be proud of."
"Yeah, your probably right." Steve laughed, "but thanks anyway."
Bucky smiled softly. "It's fine. I'm kinda used to being a nurse, my friends are always finding themselves in fights and shit."
"Well then, you've had a lot of practice."
"Indeed I have. Too much."
Steve laughed once more, and it was like music to Bucky's ears. The way his eyes crinkled at the sides, bright teeth showing as he did so. He looked beautiful.
Steve noticed the boys intent stare and smiled.
Steve didn't know if it was the amount of adrenaline rushing through his veins or if he had a sudden conference boost, whatever it was, it made him place his warm hand over Bucky's cold one.
Shocked, Bucky shot his head up, staring directly into Steve's bright eyes. He felt his face redden even more, but for some reason, he just couldn't look away.
Steve raised his other hand and swiped his thumb across the boys cheek to rid of an eyelash, leaning in so close Bucky could feel his warm breath on his face.
And suddenly, Bucky couldn't speak.
Steve didn't know why, but he didn't move away. Bucky could see that Steve's pupils were blown wide and he had no time to think about what was happening before there was a warm hand on the back of Bucky's neck.
Bucky's heart stuttered in his chest. "Steve" he whispered, head starting to spin. He shouldn't do this.
Steve leaned in.
Steve hadn't intended on kissing Bucky, maybe just some small flirting here and there as the boy patched him up, but definitely not a kiss. Obviously his mind had other plans.
He had no choice but to close his eyes and close the remaining distance between them. Only their lips never met. They were interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming shut and Bucky jumping back.
"Oh shit- my dads home.. you have to go.. now!" Bucky hissed, shoving the mans leather jacket against his chest. "Quick- He can't know that you were here!!"
Steve shook from his daze, shrugging on his jacket and jogged over to the now open window. He pressed a quick kiss to Bucky's cheek before thanking him one last time and jumping out into the cold wet night.
Bucky felt heat travel across his face and up his neck at the action, placing his hand softly over the kissed skin. His eyes widened at a thought that struck his mind and he screamed.
"FUCK!"
*************
Hehehe
~ Maddi❤️