his strong arms wrapped firmly around you,
his head leaning down on yours.
tucking loose locks of hair behind your ear,
he whispered,
his voice soft and delicate,
"i love you."
you gulped, before regaining your composure,
"i love you too,
hyunjin."
-
hyunjin leaned down, attaching his pink lips onto yours as he led you in a deep kiss.
the way he kissed you,
it fufilled your need,
but you didn't feel any spark,
any butterflies in your stomach.
whenever mark used to kiss you,
you would always have that weird yet satisfying, warm and fuzzy feeling.
but now,
you felt absolutely nothing.
hyunjin gently broke the kiss,
using one hand to caress your cheek.
you looked into his eyes rather intently,
they were beautiful,
but not as beautiful as mark's.
"babe, are you okay?" he asked kindly.
you simply nodded your head,
guilt eating you up from inside.
you knew he was a great guy,
and he loved you with his entire heart.
but you couldn't say the same about your own.
deep down,
you knew your heart still belonged to mark,
it always had been.
you couldn't help but think,
what would hyunjin do if he found out,
you weren't so in love with him
as he thought you were?
you felt bad for dragging him into your mess,
for making use of him.
after all, he was only your junior in school.
hyunjin flashed you a sad smile before pushing your head to his chest.
he didn't know what you were going through,
but he didn't want to ask either.
his embrace was warm,
and you were grateful for it,
but again,
it wasn't like mark's.
you felt slightly tense in hyunjin's arms,
but in mark's arms,
you could simply fall asleep.
you didn't know when you could accept the fact that mark already moved on and had a girlfriend of his own,
while you were totally forgotten.
you wanted so bad,
just to be able to hear mark's voice,
let him hold you in his arms.
you couldn't help but feel disgusted with yourself,
hyunjin was your boyfriend,
yet you were still thinking about mark.
hot tears rolled down you cheeks,
soaking hyunjin's shirt as he hummed a song and rocked you side to side.
i'm sorry hyunjin,
but you're not mark,
and you never can be.