"This isn't over, Carlisle," Caius said, but he caught glimpse of me and his voice lost its edge.
"Of course. We'll give you some privacy. Edward," Carlisle said, beckoning for Edward to follow him out of the room. My brother flashed me a small smile as he left.
I could feel the kings' eyes on me as they assessed my physical state. None of them seemed certain as to whether they should approach until I reached out my good arm for them. Marcus gently took my hand, perching on the edge of the bed, as Caius traced the bandages on my arm so carefully that I barely felt it.
"What happened here?" he asked quietly. His voice was rough, and I could saw his stress in the way his hand trembled.
"Cigarette butts," I murmured in response. Caius's hand stilled as his whole body stiffened. I wished I could say something to soothe him, allay his worries, but I wasn't okay. And he wouldn't believe me if I said that I was.
Instead, I turned my attention to the only one of my mates that was not currently touching me. Aro had seated himself on the opposite side of the bed from Marcus, where my shoulder was so tightly bound that I couldn't move it. Regardless, I reached towards him as much as I could.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his hand hovering a hairsbreadth above my own.
"I'm sure," I said, my fingers curling up around his own. Aro stilled, his eyes glassing over as he relived my memories.
"How are you feeling?" Marcus asked, pulling my attention away from his brother. I met his concerned eyes, ruby behind brown contacts.
I lifted my good shoulder in a half-shrug. "I've been better. Did the guard- did they tell you what happened? To him?"
"Demetri said he was dead. I assume one of them killed him, though I would have preferred to have that honor for myself," Caius said, a low growl rumbling in his chest.
"That's not... that's not what happened," I said, staring at the ceiling tiles. I wasn't sure if I was dismayed the guard hadn't told them or relieved.
"What did happen, tesoro?" Marcus asked gently.
"I killed him," I whispered. The scene played out behind my eyes. "I ripped his throat out with my teeth and watched as he died."
"Doing so probably saved your life, there's nothing to be ashamed of," Marcus said, lightly squeezing my hand.
Caius hissed, eyes glittering. "He deserved it."
"That's not all, I-" I faltered, almost too horrified to continue speaking the truth I could barely admit to myself. "There's a part of me that enjoyed it."
"He nearly killed you, mia cara. Many times. Done unspeakable things, hurt you in the way only a father could. My brother is right, he deserved it. And after all that your father did, you're allowed to enjoy it," Aro said.
My father's blood tasted sour on my tongue. I didn't want to enjoy killing him. I didn't want to feel like I was everything he had always said I was. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to barricade my tears.
"Let yourself feel, Rowan. You've been through the unimaginable, it's not healthy to keep these emotions bottled up," Marcus said.
My resolve cracked and I was sobbing, reaching for whoever was closest. Caius pulled me into his chest and the kings let me cry until my tears dried and my head ached. I kept my face buried in Caius's shirt for a long time after that, because letting go meant facing the world and telling them I was okay even if I wasn't.
Because being with my mates was so simple that I didn't have to worry, I could just be and that was enough.
"You're going to get through this, mia cara," Aro said softly, his thumb rubbing circles on the inside of my wrist. "We'll make sure of it."
"Every step of the way," Marcus promised.
"Forever," Caius finished.
I nodded, the pain in my head making me dizzy. "I'll call the nurse," Aro said, picking up on my thoughts. He stood, giving my hand another squeeze before walking out of the room.
"I think I need to lie back down," I said to Caius, who helped me recline back on the pillows. Marcus had rounded the bed to take the spot where Aro had been sitting, and I grasped Caius's shirt before he could walk away.
"I'm not going anywhere, amore," he soothed, taking a seat near my head. I knew I was being clingy, I did, but the idea of being left was too much to bear.
"Your friend said your head is bothering you?" A nurse entered the room, followed shortly by Aro.
"Yes. It's pounding," I said.
"It's about time for your painkillers, so I'm not surprised. Are you feeling dizzy, nauseous, or disoriented?" she asked, checking my chart.
"Just a little dizzy."
"Alright. Follow the light for me," she said, shining a flashlight in my eyes. I grimaced as my headache flared. "Alright, it looks like your pupils are currently different sizes, that's because of the concussion and should return to normal in a few hours. However, because of this there needs to be someone with you at all times to make sure you don't fall asleep, and your painkillers will make you drowsy."
"Great," I mumbled.
She smiled sympathetically. "It's all for your safety. Now, how's your shoulder feeling? Any pain or discomfort?"
"A little, but it's barely noticeable," I said.
"Good, good. I'm going to give you your painkillers now, they should start working shortly for you and get rid of that headache." Marcus moved so that she could start the morphine drip. "Now we'll probably have you on morphine for your head and shoulder until tomorrow evening, then we'll switch you to something less potent."
"How long will I be in the hospital?" I asked her.
"Hard to say, as it really depends on how well you recover and whether your condition worsens. We're keeping a close eye in case your brain swells, which isn't uncommon with concussions as severe as yours. All goes well, however, I'd say you'll probably be discharged by Tuesday," she said.
I sighed. Tuesday. Assuming it was still Friday, that was four days in the hospital. The nurse offered me a smile. "Don't look too put out by that. From what I've seen, you've got a lot of loyal friends and family members here for you."
"Yeah, I'm lucky to have them," I said with a smile.
She checked my vitals before walking towards the door. "You can call any of us in with the emergency button on the bed remote, should anything change or should you feel faint or disoriented."
"Thank you," I called as she left. I turned towards Aro. "What did Carlisle say happened to me?"
Aro chuckled lightly. "You were kept shortly outside Seattle, so the story goes you were walking home in a less safe part of town and were attacked. The reason you weren't immediately found is because they had hid you behind a dumpster, thinking you would bleed out. The police will want to talk to you, but it's important to maintain that you don't have any memory of what happened. With that sort of blunt force trauma to the head, it's not uncommon."
"I can do that," I agreed. I didn't want Carlisle or my family to come under scrutiny due to my injuries, but there would be too many questions and too much attention if I revealed what truly happened.
"Are the painkillers helping any?" Caius asked.
"Not yet, but she just administered them. You have to give it a few minutes, still." I paused. "Is the guard here?"
"Only Demetri, Jane, and Santiago. We sent Alec and Felix back to Volterra, they're currently acting in our stead alongside Renata and Chelsea," Marcus said.
"You're not angry at them, are you? It wasn't their fault I got taken," I said worriedly. "I did order them to stay on my family's side of the border."
"We're certainly not pleased with them, but they will not be punished. Even if their lapse of judgement in allowing you to go to La Push unaccompanied is what caused this in the first place," Caius said, looking distinctly unhappy about this.
"Santiago in particular feels very guilty about what happened, as he feels he should have done more to prevent you from going in the first place," Aro said.
"I want to talk to him," I said.
"Now?" Caius asked.
I raised my eyebrows. "When else?"
"I'll get him," Marcus said with a slight smile. He returned only a few moments later with Santiago in tow.
"Just us, please," I told my mates, who looked as if they'd rather rip off their own limbs than leave my side. "Please."
"Alright," Aro relented. "We won't be far."
I didn't want them to leave, they were safe, but I needed to talk to Santiago. Santiago had moved the chair in my room to beside my bed, where he sat down. He didn't speak until the three kings had left, but I could feel his eyes on me.
"You look like hell, kid."
"If you're looking to flatter me, then you're going to have to try harder than that," I said, shooting him a small smile.
He didn't smile back. "It's my fault you're here."
"Don't be ridiculous. It's no one's fault besides my father's," I rebuked him instantly. "I certainly don't blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself."
"This was preventable. I never should have let you go down there alone," he said.
"Hindsight is twenty-twenty, Santiago. I'll be right as rain before long," I said, biting back a yawn. "Pain meds are making me tired."
"How're you feeling?" he asked.
"The painkillers are kicking in, so I'm doing alright. I was in worse shape when Rose and Emmett first found me," I said, grimacing at the thought. "Getting stabbed is new, though."
"It's no fun," he said, lips upturning slightly. "Speaking of Rosalie and Emmett, they've been waiting to see you."
"You should probably send them in. I'm surprised they weren't here first thing," I said.
"They were. Emmett is the one who drove you to the hospital with Carlisle. Rosalie met them there, followed by us and the rest of your family," Santiago said.
"Oh. I believe I was unconscious at the time," I said.
He smiled. "Yeah. Scared the hell out of us, too. You were white as a sheet; I didn't know if you were going to make it."
"Always happy to prove you wrong, Santiago."
"I'll gladly be wrong about that any day of the week, queenliness. Let me go get your parents." Santiago stood, shooting me a smile before leaving the room. I yawned, too tired to really put to much thought into the fact that he called Rose and Emmett my parents. That was how I saw them anyway.
"Hey, pipsqueak. You know, if you wanted attention, you could have just said so," Emmett said, grinning at me. The expression seemed forced and I realized how worried he really was.
"I'm nothing if not dramatic, Emmett," I retorted, smiling.
"She gets that from you," Rose said, cupping my cheek in a cool hand. "We were so worried about you."
I leaned into her touch. "Scared myself a little bit too, I think."
"Were you scared of dying, or of yourself?" Emmett asked. He had taken the seat Santiago vacated and fixed me with a concerned gaze.
I let out a breath. "Both."
"I know you've been told not to feel bad about it. It was self-defense. And you're allowed to like it, Ro. Don't forget I killed the men that killed me. But it's also okay to regret it. Even if it doesn't make sense why," Rose said, dropping her hand from my cheek and seating herself by my arm.
"Does it make me a bad person? For enjoying it, even just a little?" I asked quietly.
"Of course not, Ro-bear. You're not a bad person. You're one of the best I've ever known. Your dad deserved everything he got and more," Emmett said.
I recalled my earlier conversation with Edward. "He wasn't really my dad. He never was. Dads aren't supposed to hurt their kids. They're supposed to love them. Like you love me."
"And I'll never stop loving you. You're my kid," Emmett said. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my temple.
"Our kid," Rosalie said, squeezing my hand.
I yawned, sinking farther back into my pillows. "I'm sleepy."
"Sorry pipsqueak, you heard the nurse. You're not allowed to fall asleep quite yet," Emmett said sympathetically.
"Dad," I groaned, gauging his reaction to the title.
He smiled. "Rowan."
"I'm tired."
"Hi tired, I'm Dad." Emmett was grinning now.
"You're such a dork," I said, grinning back.
"You asked for that one, pipsqueak," He teased.
I licked my chapped lips. "Perhaps. Could I have some water, at least?"
"That I can do. Be back in a jiff," he said, squeezing my good shoulder gently before walking out of the room.
Rosalie was gazing at me with warm eyes, and I smiled at her. "It's easy to call Emmett my dad. My actual father was never much of one. But sometimes I feel like I'm replacing my own mom by thinking of you as mine." I paused. "I think she'd be happy, though. I don't think she'd want me to go through life without a mother to look up to."
"I'd love to be that person for you, Rowan," she said softly.
My lips curled upward. "I'd love that, too."
Edited 6/26/2021