Why You Should Never Give Up Hope and Strip to Your Underwear
As the encyclopedia known as “Meris” would later inform her, Kidegos (or “Killer Demon Snow Goats” as they are called more formally) are known as some of the deadliest and most vicious creatures alive. Unless of course they are undead, as the growing theory amongst survivors of Kidego attacks suggests.
The only way to know that a Killer Demon Snow Goat is near by is from the noise. Because of their arctic habitat, their long stringy fur is often coated with ice, creating long icicles which make a faint tinkling noise as they bound in and out of the deep snow.
That is how the Snow Goats attack, by bounding. They find areas of deep snow, and wait in the depths, sometimes for weeks (no one knows how they survive) for sufficient sized prey to come within striking distance.
This fact added to the oddity that it was Myra who first heard the noise and not Sam who was well known for his phenomenal auditory range. But soon enough they all heard it. As dozens of Kidegos simultaneously bounded from the snow and surrounded the travelers in a large circle.
The rushing sound of the wind seemed to quiet down with the rising noise of the Kidego’s rattling fur and the accompanying bleating that—whether intended to or not—sounded like ragged war cries. From beneath the snow, the animals suddenly broke through and leaped at the travelers all at once. In that brief moment—while the Killer Demon Snow Goats were in mid-air—Sam made an executive decision that saved their lives and changed their futures (perhaps for the rest of their existence, but definitely for the next day and a half). Whipping out his Crescent Blades he barked the order, “Scatter!” No one even considered disobeying him.
The Kidegos landed as the travelers attempted to move out of the way, resulting in an explosion of snow and people that was (ironically enough), very much like a pile of leaves scattering after someone jumped into it. Myra was thrown upside down into a nearby snowdrift where she quickly sunk to the bottom.
Cold and disoriented, she attempted to right herself by turning around. As she moved she fell through the thin layer of ice she had landed on and tumbled through empty space to the ground a few feet below. Snow fell with her and almost completely covered her body, but after a brief, terrifying moment she noticed that her right hand was not buried by the powdery substance. Flailing her arm around enough to make a small breathing hole, she was soon able to dig herself out. Catching her breath, and calming her heart she eventually became aware of her surroundings.
It was completely dark, it was still cold, and the only noise was that of muffled screams which sounded quite a distance above. A new wave of alarm hit her when she realized that she was completely cut off from the rest of the group and had absolutely no idea where she was.
Using her gloved hands to feel, Myra soon discovered that she was in some sort of tunnel. All surfaces except for the ground were completely iced over, which explained why she fell through a layer of ice when she landed. Since there was no way she would ever be able to dig her way out of the tunnel, Myra decided to follow it and see if it there was an exit anywhere. The passageway was too short to stand up in, but she could easily crawl through it on her hands and knees. Her snowshoes became a bit cumbersome so she took them off and strapped them to the back of her pack. Even though there was no light to judge her surroundings by, she still felt a bit claustrophobic. According to many sources, Hell is all fire and brimstone. But Myra was now sure that it is probably dark, cold and silent.
Before long, she found another tunnel that branched off of the original. Deciding that things couldn’t get much worse if she went in that direction she headed down it. After repeating this scenario several times, Myra came to the conclusion that she was trapped with in an icy labyrinth (of hell) and would probably never find her way out. This led her to her next rash and foolish decision which was to remove all her outer clothing so that she would die faster.
Almost as soon as she was stripped down to her underwear Myra noticed a faint change in her surroundings. At first she wasn’t sure what it was, but then she realized that a pale light was coming toward her. “So, it's happening already is it?” she said out loud. “Come on light, I’m ready for you. Death can’t be much worse than this.”
“Myra-darling, put your clothes back on,” the light said. “As much as I fantasize about you stripping in front of me, this isn’t healthy.”
It could only be one person. “D-D-Dru?” Myra asked through chattering teeth. “W-what-t-t are you d-doing here?”
The glowing fox demon was now in front of her, helping her put her clothes back on. “Looking for you, of course. I can’t believe you gave up on life already. You’ve only been down here for twenty minutes.” After she was redressed he pulled her into his lap and started rubbing her back and arms to help warm her up. After a while he just held her, but then he said, “You know, we should probably get going. It’s not a good idea to loiter around in strange tunnels that might have Kidegos in them. Come on, I’ll lead you out.”
Unfortunately, Dru was a bit more sure of his abilities than he should have been. After wandering around in the tunnels for what felt like several hours, the fox eared demon finally admitted that he was completely lost. He then came up with a change of tactics: only turn right at all branches of the tunnel. Myra thought that the idea sounded ok, but she also knew that he was the least smart in the trio of friends consisting of Sam, Meris, and himself, so she was a bit hesitant to trust his idea completely. After a surprisingly long game of rock-paper-scissors, Dru eventually won and Myra consented to go along with his idea.
Ten minutes later they emerged from the snow. Even though their outside clothes were wet, their skin was still mostly dry, but that hadn’t stopped the cold from seeping through the many layers they wore. Myra looked over to Dru and saw that he was slightly shivering and rubbing his arms. He looked at her and noticed that she too was cold but also that she had taken off her gloves and was examining her battered palms which had taken quite a beating from crawling around all afternoon. She guessed her knees didn’t look much better. Gently, Dru took her hands in his and stared into her eyes saying, “I am so sorry, darling. If I had remembered the way out, you would not be in so much pain now.”
“It’s ok Dru. I’m fine.” She said, trying to pull her hands away from his. He was getting that determined look in his eyes again. Hopefully he doesn’t forget that promise he made to me at the party.
“No,” he said firmly, keeping a tight grip on her hands. “I promise I’ll make this up to you, darling” He leaned down, looking like he was going to kiss the reddened part of her palms, but was interrupted by a gruff noise from behind him. Dru immediately froze, and Myra peaked around him to see what the sound was.
In the light of the setting sun, she observed that they were standing right in front of the mouth of a cave. It was just big enough that they would be able to stand up inside it and walk side by side comfortably. This would probably be a good place to stay for the night, Myra thought. Well, if it wasn’t for the enormous Kidego standing in the middle.
Even though she didn’t get a good look at the other Kidegos before, this one seemed a bit different. First off, it was larger and more muscular. Also, its fur was dry and soft looking. Dru turned around; a slight squeak escaped his throat. But Myra was unafraid and walked past the petrified fox demon, standing in front of the Kidego.
Letting out a dangerous sounding snort and then slowly breathing in through its nostrils, the beast’s frightening expression slowly changed. It now looked solely at Myra with eyes soaked in curiosity. Dropping back down to her knees the young woman mirrored the animal’s expression and cautiously raised her hand to its face.
Sniffing again, the Kidego touched her palm with its nose and started to nuzzle her hand. Looking almost giddy, Myra was soon petting it with both her hands and running her fingers through its long, soft fur.
Dru, meanwhile, was having a particularly difficult time picking his jaw up off of the ground. “Myra,” he whispered frantically. “What...what are you doing? That is so dangerous/deadly/borderline apocalyptic!”
Myra looked at him calmly. “It’s fine. This Kidego and I, we’re friends. I don’t know how exactly (maybe from a past life or something), But I know she won’t hurt me.”
“She?” Dru’s fear of the Kidego was giving way to curiosity. He too, crouched down and slowly approached the Demon Goat.
“Of course,” Myra responded resolutely. “Why else would she have udders? And judging by how full they look, she probably has kids right now. But it does seem strange to call them ‘kids’ when the animals themselves have the word ‘kid’ in their name. Personally, I think Kidegolings would be more appropriate, even if it does sound kind of funny. But now that I’ve said it out loud, it isn’t as bad as I thought. Kind of cute actually. Reminds me of the Podlings in that Jim Henson movie. They were really cute. But I don’t know if Podlings look anything like baby Kidegos...”
During the time that Myra was allowing her brain sludge to escape through her mouth, Dru moved over to the hind end of the Kidego to see if Myra was correct about the udders. He had serious doubts as to whether Kidegos even had living offspring. He had always heard that they reproduced by shedding their skin and then filling the empty shell with bones of their victims. But recent events were causing him to question this theory. The Kidego however, did not like being at the tail end of his investigation and decided to take advantage of his current location, by kicking him in the chest.
Upon hearing the thud of Dru hitting the rocky cave wall, Myra finally noticed that something was going on beyond her personal analysis of baby animal names. She looked over and saw the fox demon collapsed on the floor. “What happened to you?” she asked, not bothering to get up.
He didn’t answer her question. Instead he grumbled, “It’s not fair,” while pounding his fist on the ground. This confused the girl. Had she missed something? Then in a low voice, perhaps not meaning to be heard, he said, “Why does Myra get to be friends with all of the dangerous animals?”
This confused her even more. “All?” she asked, “If you are referring to the Jelly Monsters, I really wouldn’t call them my ‘friends.’ So, what others are there?”
Looking up, he gave her a predatory grin. “Me, for starters.”