Not edited.
Ethan's pov
Holding Hannah's hand he walked slowly to the alphas house. Today was the day he would tell them he wasn't going to return to his position of pack doctor. His heart wasn't into the idea anymore. Regardless as to how much he'd wanted to be a doctor he felt like he was betraying Holly. He couldn't save his mate so what right did he have to save someone else? It wasn't right. She needed him and he failed her... miserably.
He looked at the house standing in front of them and recalled the last time he'd entered it. It had been three years. Three years since Cam had rejected the beautiful Janella. Cringing to himself he felt ashamed that he'd thought of her that way. He felt like he was betraying Holly to even consider the beauty of another woman. Holly had encouraged his friendship with Janella. Only a woman who was sure of her relationship would do that without the worry of betrayal. There seemed to be something she'd wanted to say but she seemed happy to encourage the bonding between the two of them. She wasn't even surprised when he broke down and told her that he'd kissed Nellie. She was so accepting and he recalled how she smiled. Smiled! He'd kissed another woman and she smiled! He'd felt so guilty that he didn't want to go to the clearing to say goodbye to her. Holly made him go. She was a very determined woman. He didn't understand why she was so calm about it all, just saying they'd formed a bond and that Janella was far more important than he realised. He questioned what she'd meant but the only reply he got was that he would understand one day. He was confused then and he was confused now at her reply.
Shaking his head he looked down at Hannah who was looking up at him with a toothy grin and his heart melted. Hannah had him wrapped up, tied down and twisted round her little finger and in all her cheekiness she knew it. She was the only person he allowed into his broken heart.
Knocking on the door they waited till they were let in by Luna Clarice. Her smile as she saw them was full of warmth and friendship. Taking them into the kitchen Ethan was surprised to see Misty sitting at the table with Paul having a cup of tea. He smiled softly at the memory that flashed before him.
"Ah Ethan, come in, come in. We were just catching up on family. How are things with you and Hannah?" Paul stood and shook Ethan's hand in a surprising move.
"Great, she's running the house like she owns it." Laughter filled the room as Clarice sat Hannah up at the table with some milk and cookies. She squealed in delight and they all laughed again.
"You sure have a beauty there. I can see alot of problems in the future with young wolves being after her."
"No one will go near my girl!" Ethan snarled.
Paul smiled at him "Spoken like a true father."
Ethan smirked "What can I say, it's my job" and he shrugged.
"Speaking of jobs, have you considered returning to your position yet?"
All eyes fell on Ethan as he swallowed deeply. "Thank you for the offer Alpha, however I must decline. I am no longer interested."
Silence filled the room. Each wanting to speak in an effort to convince him. no one knowing exactly what to say until Clarice spoke softly "Are you sure Ethan? it's what you always...."
"I'm sure Luna. I no longer feel that I am able to do the job as it's required of me. My focus now is on Hannah and her needs. I'll decide about the future when the time is right, just not now."
"Is there anything you want to do? Any interest?" Misty asked.
"Holly...." he faltered "Holly and I spoke of travelling the world together. I want to do that for her. I want to cross off everything she had on the list we made together."
"I think that's a wonderful idea. When will you go?"
"Not for a while yet" Ethan replied "I have a lot to sort out like getting a Nanny for Hannah who's willing to travel for some time."
"Will you be back?" Paul asked bluntly.
"This is my home Alpha. I will be back."
"Good, good. One person missing from the pack is enough. I'd rather not have to go looking for you as well."
Misty stood suddenly and walked to rest her hands on the sink as she looked out amongst the trees. Clarice came up behind her and rested her hands on her cousins shoulders.
"We'll find her Misty, we'll bring her home. If she's still alive.... " her voice trailed off.
Misty let out a shuddering sigh and said quietly "Janella is still alive."
Ethan shot up in his chair "How do you know?"
Without turning Misty answered "I can't explain that to you Ethan, I'm sorry. Telling you all that she's still alive is more than I should be telling you."
Paul stood angrily "If you know where she is then you have to tell us Misty!"
"Paul your alpha voice won't work on me, you know that. I can't tell you any more than I have."
"Please Misty," Ethan begged without understanding the reasons why he needed to know so badly "where is she?"
Misty turned away from the sink and her cousins hands dropped back to her sides and she took a step back. Misty looked at Ethan with pain in her eyes. "She's alive Ethan and she's happy. She doesn't remember anything and I'm not sure if she will without prompting. She doesn't know who she is but she goes by the name Ella."
Ethans heart fell through the floor. Ella. Sander told him the name Ella. Why didn't he follow through? Sweet Nellie was Ella.
"WHAT????" Came an angry voice from the kitchen door. They all jumped and looked to see Cam standing before them. Clarice rushed to hug him as he looked accusingly towards Misty. "You've known all this time where she is?"
"No I didn't. I'm still not sure. I knew if I looked I'd be bringing her back here before she's ready to return."
"What the hell does that mean?" He gently moved his mother to the side as he took a step towards Misty.
"Janella has a new life, she's happy. She's...."
"She's married" Cam said quietly "she's married to a guy I met in the army. It makes so much sense now. No wonder I wanted..." his voice trailed off. Clarice looked at her son horrified to hear what he had to say.
"Do you know who?" His father asked.
Cam walked to the back door looking and feeling defeated and as his hand held the door knob he spoke "His name is Sam, he was my commanding officer." His wolf demanded space and he left the house with the slamming of the door echoing in the room.
Ethan watched in shock trying to take it all in, she'd been so close without them even knowing. Now she may as well be a million miles away. His chest hurt and he felt like the life was being squeezed from within his lungs. Sander was howling and demanding retribution as he paced looking for blood. Ethan was at a loss as to wat to say or do next. It was Paul's voice that roused him back to the present.
"Where is she Misty?"
"I don't know Paul."
"How could you not tell us she was ok? You know how..."
"I owe you no explanation Paul."
"Dammit Misty, how could you do this? You know how important she is..."
Misty pulled herself up to her full height and with a voice completely foreign to her own she seethed the words "How could I? How could I Paul? Just remember who did this, remember who it was that drove her away! If you want to keep pointing fingers Paul then point them at your son! He drove my daughter away! Do you think I wanted this? Where would you prefer your child be Paul?"
Paul flinched and turned away as Clarice put her hands to her mouth. Ethan sat; still in shock.
Hannah's whimpers at the raised voices brought them back to earth and they were now quiet. Each wanting to say more but not wanting to frighten the child. Ethan picked her up and cradled her to him as he asked Misty in a softer voice "Will she be found?" He was scared of the answer but had to ask.
"Yes Ethan. Janella will be found and she will return to us when it's time."
Ethan nodded somewhat relieved. He couldn't explain what he was feeling at that moment as he thought of those crystal blue eyes. He just knew they were important.
It was with that thought he said his goodbyes. Knowing as he walked out the door that it would be some time before he returned to here again. His thoughts were on her as he carried their sleepy daughter home. What was she trying to tell him?