Just Another crazy day at the Waynes'
James pov
I was deeply asleep, when I woke up to something touching my eye.
" No... Don't open your eyes... Don't open your eyes" Jannah shouted.
" What in God's name are you doing???" as I felt her hands on my eyelid.
" 125...126...127....." she kept counting.
" Jannah....please tell me you are not counting my eyelashes...." I said.
" Oh.. No... Now I have to start over... again" she said in annoyance.
" Oh God.. This is not real... This is not real... It's a dream... My wife is not crazy...." I mumbled, still not able to open my eyes.
" I'm not crazy.... 128...129..." she said.
" Nope... It's real..... " I facepalmed myself.
" Stop putting your hand on your face.... You are interrupting me... " she said.
" Okay... Okay... My bad... I'm sorry for being sane in this house.... Just get this over with... " I surrendered.
" 129...130.....Oh no... " she said, pretending to cry.
" Okay... What now??? One of the hairs on my upper eyelash didn't show up today??? " I said sarcastically.
" Nooo.... You have more eyelashes than me.... Two more extra eyelashes" she said, disappointed.
" What?? Really???... I mean... I'm really sorry bab!!! " I said, pretending to be sorry.
" How can a man has more eyelashes than a woman??? " she said in disappointment as she jumped on bed next to me.
" Alhamdulilah for my genes " I mumbled, then I continued, " but why would you do this in the first place!!! " I said out loud.
" One of my colleagues saw your picture in a magazine... She told me you had more eyelashes.. I couldn't believe her...but she was right..." she answered, in a fake sad tone.
" Jannah... Look at me... You have other beautiful facial features.. You have beautiful eyebrows... Look at them... look at them... " I said grabbing a mirror from the night Stand next to my side of the bed.
" My eyebrows!!!" Jannah exclaimed.
" Yup... You know women would die for this pushy and thick type of eyebrows nowadays, and your eyelashes... They maybe fewer in number, but they are thicker and longer" I said, trying to make her feel better.
" You think???" she said.
" Yes, arab women are privilged with having abundant hair.. Good genes " I answered.
Jannah started to glare at me.
" Oh God.. Did I say something wrong??!!" I thought to myself, then I said out loud " What??!!"
" You mean arab women are hairy???!! You are hairshaming us???" she said.
" No... No... Why would I do this??? I'm already married to one??!!" I tried to fix things, but too late.
" No James... Truth sometimes comes out accidently... Your tongue slipped and revealed what is in your heart!!! And now get out... Get out!!!" she started to yell.
" Jannah... What??!! " I said, flabbergasted.
" Yes...get out of the house and give me some time to heal internally from the psychic trauma you gave me!!! " Jannah said, pointing to the door.
" What the...??!! " I said flabbergasted, as she started to drag me out..literally.
" Okay... Wait.. Wait.. " I stopped her.
I took my blanket, my sunglasses and headed out.
" Don't... I will go out like a respectable man..." I said leading the way.
I went downstairs and Jannah following me, opened the door of the house and went outside.
" Oh God.. It is pretty sunny.. I should have taken the sunscreen!!!.. Jannah give me the sunscreen please.. " I said as she closed the door behind me.
" Oh no.. You are not getting anything.. Let your white privilge benefit you!!!" Jannah yelled Through the door.
" Jannah... Seriously... I'm gonna get roasted here... Please!!! " I begged through the door.
" Oh.. Oh.. Should have had more hair.. Non hairy privilged white straight male... !!! " she yelled back.
" Okay...but by the way...this is my house that you have just kicked me out of " I yelled back.
" And I kicked you out!! What are you gonna do about it!!!! " she said.
" Nothing!!! At least here I can have some beauty sleep without someone interrupting it to count my eyelashes!!! " I said, putting the blanket over the floor.
And there I was, shirtless, sleeping on a blanket outside the house, with only sunglasses protecting me from the sun.
I was enjoying a tan, when Matt's voice interrupted me.
" Mr Wayne.... What the hell are you doing here??? " he said, as he saw my lying In front of the house.
" Jannah kicked me out!!!" I said.
" What the hell??!!" he said, chuckling.
" And this is the future waiting for you if you marry her mother!! !!" I said.
" Oh God... I hope not... I guess I'm gonna speak to her on your behalf ..." Matt said, still giggling.
" Okay... Cut the giggling... This is not funny!!!" I said.
" Okay.. Okay... Mrs Wayne.. It is Matt.. Can I Come in???" he said, through the door, still giggling like a child.
" She is not gonna allow you in??!!! " I said.
But suddenly Jannah opened the door and let him in quickly before I could come in too.
" What the hell??!! Why him??!! " I said.
" Because he is not you!!!" Jannah replied.
I put my ear on the door to hear their conversation.
" My husband is a white privilgest!!!" she said.
" No... I'm not.." I yelled Through the door.
" Shut up!!" Jannah yelled.
" Okay.. But why this??!! It is really early in the morning for arguments!!!! Let him in Mrs Wayne" Matt said.
" Yeah... Why don't you tell him why you woke me up Ha??!! Tell him..tell him!!!" I yelled Through the door.
" I said Shut up!!!" she yelled back.
" Okay.. I'm gonna tell you.. This acclaimed neurosurgeon here woke me up to count my eyelashes!!! " I yelled Through the door.
" I didn't wake you up... I was counting them and you woke up accidentally!!!" she yelled back.
" Yes... Because somebody was trying to make a braid out of my eyelashes!!! " I yelled at her.
" Is that true??!!" Matt said.
" Shut up James" she yelled at me.
" One last thing!!!" I said.
" What??!!" Jannah asked.
" Is she wearing her hijab??!!" I yelled.
" Yes!!!!" Matt and Jannah yelled back at the same time.
" Is that what you really care about now??!!" Matt said.
" Yes..." I said.
" Okay Mrs Wayne... Can we talk away from distraction??!!" I heard Matt say.
I couldn't hear them for the next few minutes, but after five minutes the door was opened.
I went in, with my blanket under my arm, wearing my sunglasses.
" Okay.. She agreed to take you back in..but first apologize Mr Wayne!!! Matt said.
" No.. I'm going to enjoy my genetic privilge" I said teasing her.
" Really!!.. Okay then... Go enjoy it outside" Jannah said pushing me.
" No.. I'm not.." I said trying to fix myself to the ground.
" Okay.. Then I will go!!!" Jannah said.
" Yeah.. Go tell your mother why you left.. because I had more two extra eyelashes" I teased her.
" No.. I'm gonna tell her I left because my husband thinks arab women are hairy!!!" Jannah said.
" Yeah.. She will tell you to shave!!" I teased her.
" You!!!" Jannah said, hitting my chest gently.
" Shut up... Shut up..... Shuuutttt uuuupppp" Matt shouted madly.
We looked at him flabbergasted.
" You guys have an arguing fetish, right??? You two have an arguing fetish??? Some people have foot fetish.. Others have hair fetish...and you two have an arguing fetish.. This is it... I bet Hamza was made during one of those arguing sessions you have!!!" Matt yelled at us.
We were both embarrassed of our childish behaviour.
" Okay... I give up.. I'm sorry... And here goes my eyelashes privilige " I said, tearing out few eyelashes from my eyelid with my hand.
" Oh honey you really love me" Jannah said hugging me.
" Really you guys!!!... Really!!! " Matt said facepalming himself and walking toward the study.
" You do know that I'm making this to.. You know.. Put some spice on our relation... To break the routine.." Jannah said, blushing
" Sure..." I answered with a fake serious face.
" And you know that I'm not an annoying person.. Right??!! " Jannah said.
" God forbid..." I said, shrugging.
I looked around, and Matt already disappeared into the study, so I took the chance to say to Jannah.
" Speaking of spice.. Why don't we spice it up??!! " I said winking.
" What do you mean??!!" Jannah asked.
" You know Jannah!!! ... What if Matt was right??!!" I said.
" About what??!!" she asked.
" The fetish!!!" I winked again.
" What fetish??!!" Jannah asked.
I faceplamed myself.
" You know... It is a holiday... You are home... I'm home... And..." I said trying to give her more hints.
" And.. I should go study for my PhD??!! " Jannah asked.
" No... I mean.. Make another little version of Hamza!!!" I Finally said.
" Ha Ha Ha... You pervert...." Jannah laughed.
" Halal pervert please.... " I said, correcting her.
" You......No..." Jannah cut our laughing.
" Why??!! " I exclaimed.
" Because... You still have extra eyelashes on your left eyelid... You only plucked the right one... " Jannah said.
" Is that so??!!" I said.
" Yup!!! " Jannah said, detemined.
" Then I'm not gonna pull them... I'm going to enjoy my genetic privilge!!!!" I said.
" Congratulations... Enjoy it and Hamza will be an only child!!! " Jannah teased.
Suddenly I felt a scotch tape being placed on my mouth from behind.
I looked around and it was Matt.
Jannah kept giggling at me, and I couldn't reply.
" You deser..... " Matt Placed a scotch tape on her mouth too, interrupting her sentence.
I tried to laugh at her but it was rather painful.
" You two are coming to my wedding like this... Make sure you get the adhesive tape with the glitter to match the outfit!!! " Matt said, leaving us starring at each other.
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An important question
Does the humor in this book Come across as silly??? Should I change the tone of the book???
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