His pace was fast and it became rather hard to catch up to him, but I knew where he was directing himself. Once his vehicle came into view I began to jog so I would catch up to his strides. My fingers clasped around his shirt where it covered his shoulders, and with all the strength I could muster I spun him around and pushed him to his car.
"What the -"
"What is your problem?!" I spat, my grip tightening on his shirt. His eyes glanced to my fist then to my face.
"I don't want to talk about it, Cassandra," his own hand reached to cover mine where he pulled, but his attempt was futile as I tightened my palm even more to the point where I felt my nails dig into my skin.
"What happened to you? This morning you were perfectly fine and now you're acting like an obnoxious dimwit. What pissed you off so bad, huh? The fact that Niall and Louis were calling you out? Tell me, Harry!"
He avoided my eyes, looking anywhere else but at me. "Can we do this somewhere else? Maybe away from people."
"Fine."
-
"So talk," I began the moment we walked through the door of his apartment. I turned to see that he was still at the door, struggling to remove his key from the lock. Once he was done he shut the door, locking it, then moved to sit on the sofa.
"What do you want me to say?"
I knew what I wanted to say, but I was unable to process it into actual words. I was angry at him, but my point was invalid... he did nothing wrong.
"I don't know," my voice was soft and whispered as I sunk into the sofa adjacent to him. "I don't know if I'm pissed off and angry, or hurt..." Immediately I felt uncomfortable as I said those words. I wanted nothing more than just reverse the past half hour or to run out of this apartment, but both approaches seemed cowardly.
"Hurt," he repeated to himself, his head was bowed and his fingers were entwined as he thought about that particular word.
"I don't know."
"You seem to not know a lot of things," there was no harshness in his tone, but there was some sort of definite underline in that statement.
"Are you ashamed of me?"
His head snapped the second I finished my sentence, brows furrowed and mouth wide open. "You can't be serious."
"Well what am I supposed to think? You don't tell me anything."
"You're just as bad, don't go telling me that I'm the one who's shit at communicating. One minute you're storming out of my apartment and the next you're kissing me like there's no tomorrow."
This made my cheeks heat, he was right but then again he was also wrong.
"That goes both ways, Harry."
His head bobbed up and down, showing that he agreed with what I said. "Look..." He sighed loudly.
"I like you, a lot. You're such a good person, you're so genuine and it's hard finding somebody like that these days. I care about you, I'm sure you already know that. I've known the boys nearly all my life yet when it comes to not being able to sleep or being in a really shit mood I would never call them because they obviously wouldn't know what to do. But you do.
"Like... you don't have to say anything and I'll be feeling fine. You listen when I ramble on about irrelevant bullshit that you most likely don't understand. When I asked you if I could come over you shot my question down but decided to come by yourself without asking why. You just knew. I didn't even need to ask you to stay over because I knew you would, because you care. I want you to believe me when I say I care about you, because I do... a lot."
I don't even know what to think. Or even what to say. My hands were oddly beginning to shake, it was unnoticeable at the glance but definitely distinct. This was the most he ever had to say about how he felt, and God only knows how hard it was to admit those things. I noticed his hand covering his mouth and his feet continuously tapping, a nervous gesture. He was afraid of something, but I didn't know what.
"But I can't," he says. His feet halted and his hand dropped to his lap. "I can't care, I can't like you in that way. I can't. And I'm such an idiot for letting myself go this far with you. I know the consequences, I know everything but I chose to ignore them and now you're going to get hurt!"
"Harry -"
"No, Cassandra!" He turned his head so he was looking right at me. "You don't understand. I can't do this anymore. I don't want anything to happen to you, I won't let anything happen to you."
"What are you talking about?"
This time he stood, pacing back and forth, pulling his hair and muttering profanities. His leg lifted to kick the side of the chair but he payed no attention to the sound or pain it must've caused. He paced toward me, face red and eyes bulging.
"I'm so sorry," his voice trembled. "I am so, so sorry."
"Harry, please tell me what's going on."
I was afraid to touch him, he was shaking so much that if I were to make any contact with him I would be scared if he acted in a certain way that wouldn't be considered himself. I knew what emotions he held, fear and angst. Toward what I did not know.
"If I care for you it would make me weak, and I can't have that."
I took a deep breath and swallowed, finally mustering enough courage to lift my hands and hold the sides of his head, tilting so he was looking directly at me.
"Caring for somebody doesn't make you weak, Harry."
"In my situation it does."
He heard my loud sigh and almost whimpered when I dropped my hands. I pushed him away and stood from the sofa. "And what's that situation, Harry? Because I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on!"
"You can't help me. Not with this, you can't," his voice was so soft that I almost felt like crying. He was almost pleading me, trying to persuade me in whatever way he could. He was in so much emotional pain that it was physically visible.
"So what do you want me to do?" I ask him, yet somehow I already knew the answer.
His sorrowful green eyes looked down upon me, his height and tight lips would've given the impression of anger and belittlement but it was just an imaginary façade my mind fabricated.
"I want you to go. I want you to stay away from me. Just avoid me because I promise you that if you don't keep your distance you'll regret it," he raised his hand as I opened my mouth to silence me as he continued. "It's not a threat or a warning, I just... worry about your wellbeing. I don't want to see you get hurt. Your friendship has been great, if not just what I ever wanted, but it isn't something I need. I feel like I'm using you for my own benefit, not sexually but just to keep my emotions and dark ridden thoughts away from me but before you came along I was able to handle it. I don't want to treat you as an inanimate object, you're something so much more than that.
"Please. I need you to go. Please," his voice cracked before he cleared his throat. My sharp inhale almost echoed throughout the confined space of his apartment. It seemed as though the bile at the back of my throat continued to rise and though I kept swallowing it wouldn't stop. Everything was going so well, this morning was amazing but now things have taken a turn for the worst.
"If that's what you want," I managed to say, and with one last glance I turned around to head straight to the door.
"It's not what I want. It's just what's better for you," he says one last time.
"Sure, Harry."
And for the final time I swung the front door open and walked out, being careful to not allow the door to slam shut. As I continued to walk down the never ending corridor I heard the muffled shouts coming from Harry's apartment, I was only able to make out a few words which did not seem to make any sense but I didn't stop to listen. My stride was fast and it was until I was outside I realised I had no car to take me home.
Waiting for a bus would be a half hour delay, so instead I decided to go to Niall's which was just across the street. He was bound to be home.
-
Harry.
I don't know what emotions were swarming my mind but I sure as hell wasn't fond of them. From the beginning I knew what would happen if I were to consider others that weren't a part of our kind. In no way was I going to allow myself to get her involved more than she already was. No way was I going to let history repeat itself. The last time a human was involved she was killed, that human being my mother. And I watched as he ripped her throat out as if it were a thin sheet of silk then ran off never to be seen again until only recently.
He wants to see you, Michael's text read. No further explanation was needed to know who he was and where he wanted to see me.
I arrived at the Nemora in a matter of minutes, going 20 kilometres over the limit but I couldn't really find an inch of me that gave a shit. My stare was blank, hands shaking but not of fear; of anger. The tires of my car crunched at the gravel until I pulled the brake and got out of my car, leaving the key still in the ignition. This shouldn't take long.
"Son, good to see you," was his way of greeting me, raising his hand.
"I'm not your son," my voice was sharp as I dismissed his raised hand.
"Still back to that, are we?" There was a slight pause before he continued, dropping his palm and joining his fingers together. "I just received the news about Anton, it's such a shame. A great man, he was like my right-hand."
But... he's left-handed.
"Exactly," he says with a devilish smirk.
"Get the hell out of my head!"
His hands clasped together as he took a few steps toward me, my reaction was to back away but I stopped myself at the last second. It shows weakness, and I'm not weak.
"There are so many advantages to being an Alpha... Harry. One being that you can get into anybody's mind, no matter what their status. Including the Elders, but of course you'd just be asking for your head on a silver platter. You could even control people, control their actions, their body... their mind. Of course that's illegal according to the Elders' rules and could potentially mean death but what's life without risk?"
"Why did you want me here? And where's Michael?"
"Your little friend went off after I told him to piss off. Now, there's some things that you should know. I don't know how you would take the news but I couldn't care less about your reaction. I'm just doing what I want."
I swallowed a thick amount of bile and clenched my jaw, his cheek looked so inviting that my fist was uncontrollably shaking until I held it with my left hand. His gaze flicked to my hand then back to my face, still holding a smile.
"You possess a wolf trait, but also the trait your mother had," he paused assessing my reaction which was no change from before except the want to wring his neck out. "Your mother wasn't a human, Harry... or she was only half human. Her mother-your grandmother-was part of a cult that was anti-were. She was a witch, and now unfortunately I believe that you have that characteristic. You were born as a hybrid offspring. So you are both wolf and human as well as what they would call a warlock. You would be able to control your wolf almost as you would if you were in your human form, which is why that ability comes to your advantage. There hasn't been an Alpha hybrid for centuries."
"What's your point, Dave. You're wasting my time," he found my anger amusing and once I cracked my neck he even laughed a little.
"Centuries ago there was a hybrid by the name of Lycus Boulos, he only lived up to twenty-five. Hybrids are unable to survive without a mate, it took about thirty years to figure that fact out. It's known that hybrids have different abilities, yes some wolves can read minds or inflict pain on another being, but your kind carry a special bond and once you produce an offspring then that child would be so powerful. So powerful in fact, the Elders themselves are afraid of the monsters.
"So a word of advice, keep your eye on those ladies in your little pack. If my son were to die before accomplishing his duties, then what an embarrassment you will be. Well, it was nice chatting, good father-son bonding. Just remember what I said... Alphas are capable of anything, if you make it possible."
That was all he said before he walked away, abandoning me to my bemused thoughts. I felt as though I wanted to collapse onto the hard ground, to bash my head and thrash my body until every single dilemma that occupied every fibre left my body. Now when I wanted her the most she wasn't in reach, my selfish desires almost took over my senses but I quickly blocked them out.
I didn't want her.
I needed her.