Hei there, reader ^^
!! Now I really need your honest opinion. This is kind of an experiment chapter of how a flash back part would look like. It would be every other week or so, coming from an action what would trigger a ride down memory lane. It would be centered around the main action or person who brought up the memory, but also would show the evolution of Avery and Jared's relationship.
I know this one is quite long, I could make it shorter definitely. Please vote if you would like to read more like this, or you would just rather go on with the story line. ^^ If there isn't going to be a strong yes as to continue than I won't bother coming up past stories. !!
btw, disclaimer: the story and especially the memories are not in sync with Jared's real life timeline so please don't pick on that! x'D
Thanks, enjoy! <3
Lily was my first friend in the States; the friend who helped me get out of my shell. The person who showed me how to stand my ground in a city like Los Angeles.
She was also the last love of Jared; the love of his life who broke his heart and walked across the pieces. The woman who got him loose faith in love.
When I first met Lily, I was spending my last semester of my college years as an exchange student in Los Angeles. I just got an actual job at the PR company where I was an intern before. I was put under the wings of one of their agents, David.
I was very young.
It was those years when my hair was dyed black and straightened to death. My foundation was full coverage, my lashes were fake, and my lips were red...
I seriously have no idea how I made it into a PR company with a look like that in downtown LA.
7 years earlier
Walking through the driveway of that Beverly Hills home already made me feel anxious.
The amounts of luxurious cars around... I swear I haven't seen that many in my whole life, as many there were parking then, in that chilly, early evening when I arrived with David.
My boss was walking confidently to the main door, while I was literally jogging after him in my black sandals, long black dress and a blazer.
I was exhausted from arriving back from my Christmas holiday just a couple hours ago and he called me up last minute to join him to some party, so I can meet some big names. But why it had to be on a birthday party?
In Scotland, you don't just crash someone's birthday party to benefit from their friendships...
Big cities are strange in general, but Los Angeles... man...
"I still have no idea why I had to be your plus one, David," I asked uncertainly, still trying to get out of this party. "It's a fortieth birthday; it must be meaningful and..." I pulled a face.
"Avery, love," he turned back to me and grabbed a firm hold on my hand. – duh, these Americans are so invading my personal space, let alone, they use the word, love in very strange situations. –
"How old are you? Twenty-three, right?" when I nodded, he smiled. "You are so young and out of nowhere you came all the way to Los Angeles, the city of Angels AND the very important people of the business you want to have a career in," he explained seriously. "This here, this house... is full of influential people in the music and marketing business. Okay, it is covered as Jared Leto's fortieth birthday party, but that is for friends. But for us, for you, it is a party of opportunities," he smiled patting my back and I just wrinkled my nose.
"Yeah if they take me into count. Before you introduced me to Jared on the meeting a month ago; I saw him in the corridor of the agency a couple days before that. I went to say hi, and wanted to introduce myself, you know what he did?!" I asked outraged and David raised his eyebrows indicating to carry on, "He smiles at me, right? Asked if I had a pen... and me, confused as I was, I'm like... sure; so, I reached into my bag, took my pen, gave it to him, and what he does?? He scribbles his name onto my forearm and leaves! Like, what? It took me two days to scrub that thing off!" I explained outraged for what David just laughed out loud.
"Oh, poor country girl, what you got yourself into," David shook his head amused and gently pushing me by my upper back we reached the front door.
"David," Jared made his way through some people to say hello, and after they shook hands Jared looked at me.
"You brought the intern?" he grinned chewing on a gum, looking at me amused, his straightened blond hair almost in his eyes.
If I wouldn't know that he is turning forty, I would say he and my 19-year-old brother would be the best friends made in Hell. I mean usually for me a 40-year old is old. I mean, David is clearly old, and he is not even forty yet...
"She is not intern anymore. Avery is now working full time with me," David smiled proud and I forced a smile.
I had no idea what to say... I should say something; they both were looking at me with so intense eyes...- oh my god, I am not used to small talks... please let me go!
"Well, Happy birthday. You have a very lovely house, and the yard is... is rather neat. I much appreciate having been given the opportunity to attend to this quality occasion," I kept on rambling and Jared just looked at me, listening very attentively probably trying to make sense to my words, then just laughed patting David's back,
"English people, man; gotta love them," he walked away still grinning.
"Scottish," I mumbled then just waved giving up, and by the time I turned to David he was gone as well.
Shy and out of place, as I was, I made my way into a big hall, which I literally had no idea what kind of room was that in a normal day, but now a long make-shift table was set up with all kinds of food.
I looked around and making my way in, I saw a pretty girl standing next to the long table, seemingly just smiling at the guests, doing nothing. Perfect match, I thought.
"Hey, I'm Avery," I smiled holding my hand out and she looked at me interested and shook my hand with a smile.
"I'm Lily, how are you darling?" she smiled, and I huffed. – Why ask how I am? Do these people actually care? Usually they don't even wait for an answer.
"Great, so... how come you are all alone here?" I asked uncertain and she just chuckled.
"I am the caterer."
"Oh..." I frowned. – Well she is probably not one of those important people David was talking about, but she seemed so nice.
"Are you from Scotland?" she asked and after nodding in surprise her smile grew brighter. "I knew it! I was there for exchange. I loved it!
"Oh my God, I started as an exchange student here!" I grinned and from then on, we settled into a fun conversation.
Turned out Lily was 5 years older than me and just started her catering business a year ago. She had two college degrees in hospitality and tourism. She was very clever and outgoing.
Too bad I couldn't talk to her too long as Jared came, interrupting us by telling me I'm not letting the caterer do her job.
He shushed me away, but I saw how he ended up going back again and again to the food hall just to have long conversations with Lily.
It took only a couple months to see the first paparazzi pictures of Lily with Jared roaming the streets of LA hand in hand.
I wasn't really meeting much with Jared, and not at all with Lily, until a session meeting before their world tour, with their new album.
Lily came along to the studio and that is when we met again.
I'll never forget how both stepped into the studio. Hand in hand, beaming in happiness. Jared's hair got blond and pink, his punk style, for some reason got very well complemented with Lily's sophisticated, girl-next-door look. Her sun-kissed locks of honey blond hair framing her characteristic face with beautiful big blue eyes and long lashes.
They were beautiful.
When Jared left to the tour which was anyway scheduled to be one and half year long, Lily had her own schedule too. She had dates when she would fly to certain countries to meet Jared, and Jared would have plus schedules as for when he would come back for a couple days when he had the chance.
This scheduled love went surprisingly well.
Lily, having been spending the last 5 months with Jared, since they met, felt suddenly so alone when the guys left the airport so me and her ended up going out. Well, she forced me to. LA nightlife was something I just didn't dare to try until then.
We would spend almost every day together, and she would help me get to know the city, other people and the way to work your way around here.
After a couple of months of her going alone to all those countries to meet up with Jared, we did arrangements that she would fly out even with me and David when we had to go meet the band.
That one year was full of traveling.
I think I have spent more time in the air than on the ground and I was overwhelmed about seeing so many things in such short period of time.
With time we became such good friends; Lily insisted that I would join her and Jared on certain occasions such as visiting places, going to restaurants... which were rather weird at first but she had such a bright and chatty personality she managed to break the first barriers between me and Jared and we finally started to get to know each other.
For me he wasn't just the guy from the Requiem for a dream movie and for him I wasn't just the "English intern".
More often than not, Shannon and Tomo would join the three of us and getting involved into this amazing lifestyle had me in tears. Most of the times because of happiness, but on the dark days I felt such an outcast.
Those times Shannon would always sense it, and him and me would just go out and have fun on our own, such as biking or riding scooters around the new cities.
With time Jared joined even if Lily wasn't around, and getting to know me, helped him trust me and my work, so David was able to give me more responsibility as well.
Two years into this crazy touring life everything just seemed so perfect.
Distance was something we barely felt anymore.
Going to meet up in Paris for a weekend was just something what other people would say a weekend by the pool.
When we would be back in LA, Lily and I would hang out more and more. She helped me loose my ridiculous hair color and make up, she would introduce me to new people and just gossip about Jared. She just couldn't stop.
Starting the second year of their tour, Lily got very uneasy.
Jared would say yes to all those concerts and she would get very upset about it; saying the scheduled year and half was fun and exciting, but she wants him back, she can't do this anymore.
She wanted to focus on her work, which was understandable, and flying every other week was impossible and wore her out at some point. For me, it was my job, but for her it was harsh arrangements between work and her love life on the road.
She ended up breaking up with him and Jared shut down.
He became this robot who would do everything he was asked for but regretting the decision of going on with the tour; he struggled through most of the concerts. He went silent and unavailable for anything else than work.
Strangely enough, 3 months after the break-up, Lily packed her bag and traveled across America to meet Jared, just to tell him she can't live without him and going to wait out the end of the tour no matter what.
Seamed like everything was back to paradise. Except me and Lily.
She wouldn't call me on her trips anymore and when we did end up on the same plane, she wouldn't talk much. She was closed and uninterested. Our conversations faded into empty talks about the weather.
She wouldn't ask me to join her and Jared and when Jared did, she wouldn't be excited like she was.
Their relationship shifted too.
Jared was head over heels, but something was just off about Lily.
She would suddenly start talking about her cousin's new band and how they love thirty seconds to Mars and how her cousin would be mad at her talking about them to Jared.
She tried to talk Jared into helping the band out and Jared did everything to get their label to do a record deal with them.
I was no one to talk but it just seemed wrong, but Jared didn't seem to sense it.
It was at the very end of the world tour; about 3 years into the relationship of Lily and Jared. As crazy as he is, Jared took on a movie part, which he was preparing to shoot as soon as the tour ends.
That is when things went downhill.
David and I were very surprised when getting the news of paparazzi pictures had been taken of Lily with a man having lunch and sharing romantic kisses on the streets of LA.
I guess she never realized what comes with dating a rockstar.
That time David was back in LA while I was spending a week with the band in Europe because of their press conferences about possibly getting into the book of Guinness World Records for the longest world tour ever, so of course I had to be the one to show him.
Knocking on the door of the tour bus, holding onto my phone, my palms started to sweat.
Jared opened the door and smiled brightly. He has been very energetic and happy since the news about their tour and I hated to ruin it.
"Avery, come around," he motioned me in. "I still have two hours, right? I really have no idea what to say as speech..." he sighed, and I just shook my head.
"It's okay..." I whispered.
"Are you okay?" he asked sitting down and I gulped opening my phone back up.
"I'm so sorry Jared, but... you have to see this. It's... it's very hard for me to..."
"What is it?" he asked with narrowed eyes, stepping closer and I sighed showing him my phone.
"Lily... has been photographed two days ago, with this man..." I muttered and Jared took the phone away from me, going through the poorly written "article" and the three pictures taken by a fan.
"Jared...?" I asked uncertain as he didn't even flinch.
"Please leave me alone," he asked, his voice low and cracked.
"You know it's..."
"I said get the fuck out, Avery!" he literally screamed, and I trembled, not caring about my phone I made my way out quickly, leaning onto the door pressing my lips.
I heard some glasses breaking in the bus ad I just squeezed my eyes and ran to find Shannon.
From then on days were tense and silent.
It was hard for Jared as well as to all of them to show their best side to the press, while I was trying to get a hold on Lily to get some answers, because I really had to communicate with those gossip sites and telling the interviewers that asking about Jared's relationship status is strictly forbidden only gonna hold so long.
Two weeks had passed, and Jared slightly mentioned that Lily still wants to go and see him in Norway to talk.
Which in my opinion was a very good choice but Jared was so against it, saying he doesn't want to see her, especially not in Norway; he might go talk to her once we are back home.
Somehow Shannon managed to make Jared agree on a quick meeting with Lily, instead of the romantic weekend he planned in Norway.
After they have met for a brief hour in one of the conference rooms of our hotel, I gave some time to Jared to be alone, but then I just needed to know he is okay, so I knocked on his hotel room door.
"Yeah!" he shouted, and I stepped in.
The room was dark, only the open mini fridge's light brightened the corner of the room where Jared sat in the armchair next to the window.
I walked in, seeing him slipped down on the armchair half-way, holding onto a glass of whiskey, sipping from it slowly.
"Are you... um," alright? Do I really need to ask that? "Do you need anything?"
"Yeah..." he sighed, "please cancel the fjord boat tour for tomorrow," he muttered looking in front of himself, taking another sip.
"You sure? You... wanted to see the fjords, we might just... all go with you," I offered gently for what he peeked at me then back in front of him but didn't answer.
"Jared?" I asked a minute later, crouching in front of him, resting my hand as support on the edge of the armchair. "You know there will come someone else... she... she was... I think with the tour going on..."
"We made it through the whole tour. She was... so great, so supportive... a couple more weeks and we could finally have had a normal life..." he muttered still gazing into nowhere.
"She doesn't deserve it... it wasn't..."
"Please cancel the boat tour for tomorrow," he repeated.
"What if you would go with Shannon?" I asked.
I only tried so hard because for months he has been so excited about this stupid boat tour and the fjords for some reason.
"Please cancel the boat tour for tomorrow..." he mumbled once again, his eyes filling with tears and I looked away with a nod, ready to stand up and leave, feeling like I shouldn't see this, but then he spoke up.
"I was going to ask her there," he muttered, and I frowned questioningly and following his lowered gaze behind my back, I turned just to see a small red box on the coffee table, with an amazingly bright diamond ring in it.
My breathing stopped as my eyes widened.
Oh shit...
"Jared..." I sighed looking back up to him.
"I was thinking of bringing it back to the store but..." he shook his head, "what the fuck would I buy from the money? Another house? Another car? I have all that, fuck all that," his voice turned angry and suddenly grabbed up the ring from the box and hurried to the bathroom.
I followed him and arrived to the sound of the toilet being flushed.
Jared was standing above it; leaning to the wall with one hand and took the last sips of his whiskey.
"I will fucking die alone with my name written into the Guinness Book," he stated.