"So... do you like it?" she asked as she was staring at me with a soft smile on her face. We were both huddled up, sharing my blanket as we spend this night together.
I looked around, quite astonished with everything. I turned to her and held
her hand. "I do. Thank you..."
She squeezed it and looked up, "Make a wish, Lisa. A shooting star just passed by..."
I gazed up above, seeing nothing but darkness and those small twinkling stars. "Wish? What are we? Twelve?"
"No. Fifteen," she chuckled. "I swear, Lisa, I will push you off this cliff if you won't make a wish with me."
I crossed my arms as if to protect myself from her, "Geez, Niki. You don't have to get so physical. I still have a shoot tomorrow but let's go."
I was about to close my eyes when she offered her hand to me. I gladly accepted it and rubbed my thumb on her skin. We both grinned at each other before closing our eyes.
Wish? I wish for this happiness to conti-
I suddenly opened my eyes when Niki's phone rung, interrupting my wish.
Well, whatever. I'm happy and everything is working out for me so maybe I don't have to continue wishing.
This right here is a dream come true already.
"I'm sorry but your manager is calling already..." she pouted.
"It's okay, Niki. Let's take photos together? A remembrance for this memorable day."
She nodded before setting up the tripod and the camera plus our polaroid that is put on timer.
It took about 5 mintues before we got contented with it so we decided to head back to our trailer vans.
"So... first music video ever of Lalisa Manoban."
I hesitated before nodding. "It is... It seems so surreal."
She took my hand which was slightly shaking and held it. "Don't be scared lisa. You'll kill it."
"Or it'll kill me."
She smacked my arm and giggled. "I'll kill you first."
I stopped for a moment then looked at her. "Niki, I never once thanked you."
"Oh, please. Don't get sentimental with me."
"No. Seriously. You've been such a great support ever since I got here and I wouldn't have survived it without you. So, thank you."
"I told you, it's nothing. We're friends and that's what friends do, right?"
I scratched my head when I remembered something. "Right but I have something to say to you..."
She gasped before letting go of my hand then playfully covered her mouth. "Is Lalisa Manoban gonna confess her feelings for me?"
She fakingly fanned her eyes and dabbed the corners of it with an imaginary tissue. "I have never in my life dreamed that this would happen."
I snorted, rolling my eyes over her silly act. "You are such a dork, Niki. Do you know that? But seriously."
She chuckled before walking towards our van. "Go. I'll listen."
I heaved a sigh then stare at her back. "You know about my feelings for Jennie, right?"
I heard her mumbling uh huh but she didn't glance at me. "So, there was this plan that we should make you as a distraction."
She suddenly stopped walking and slowly turned to face me. "What?"
I smiled sheepishly and made the peace sign with my fingers. "I'm sorry..."
I scanned her expression but her face remained stoic. I gulped.
"Me? As a distraction? I am offended."
"No. No. Please let me explain?"
She nodded so I continued. "So, when Jennie and Jisoo were getting to close with each other again, I was blasting off your songs in my room thus the first ig story of your song spell."
She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow. "I'm listening. Continue."
"And Chaeyoung, you know, Roseanne Park? She was the one who thought that maybe you could be my distraction especially after the video you posted on instagram," I inhaled a sharp breath, slightly blaming Chipmunk for this until I remember our past converstation.
I sighed once again, "But Chaeng, what if she knew?"
"How could she, though? Will you tell her?"
She used her hand as an imaginary phone and held it close to her ear. "'Hello, Niki. I'm using you to cover up my feelings for Jennie. I hope you don't mind. Xoxo.'?"
"You are such a dork but no."
A small smile graced my lips as I realize that I'm actually telling this to Niki.
Stupid Lisa.
"So, what happened after?" I was snapped away from my thoughts when I heard her voice. I raised my left hand and crossed my heart. "I swear, I didn't push through it. It seemed like Jennie didn't care so I stopped until you called and texted me "
"So you replied because of your plan? Wow."
I shook my head, "No! I swear, I really wanted to be friends with you so I did that. Please don't misunderstand this..." I said as I felt myself getting teary.
"Why are you teary eyed?"
I sniffed, "I don't know..."
"P-pabo?" She chuckled. "I think that means stupid in Korean, right?"
I nodded.
She's now laughing. "It doesn't matter to be honest. I was just messing with you."
"You're not mad?"
"No."
I smiled and saw that we were in front of the van. "Thank you." I said as I pulled her into a hug.
"Actually Lisa, I have also something to confess..."
"Shoot."
I felt her heaving a deep sigh before tightening her hug. "I know about everything."
"There you are Lisa." Manager unnie opened the door. I immediately released Niki and gave unnie a sheepish smile.
"I'm sorry unnie that we took so long but Niki took me to stargaze!"
She smiled and nodded before turning to Niki, "Can I borrow Lisa for a moment? You need to go back to your van, Niki. It's getting late."
Niki looked at me before hugging me again. "Goodnight, Lisa. I'll tell you soon."
"Night night, Niki."
When she disappeared, unnie turned to me. "What's happening between the two of you?"
"Nothing,"
"That doesn't look nothing to me."
"I swear unnie, we're just friends."
"So it's still her, huh?"
I slowly nodded as I felt the tiny prickles in my chest. "Still her."
She tapped my back and smiled. "Rest. I know you enjoyed tonight but you need to sleep now. Big day ahead."
I grinned at her and gave her a smile. "Thank unnie for letting me go for a while."
"You'll need that." She said as she stare at me solemnly.
"What?"
"Nothing. Good night, Lisa."
Jennie's POV
"Unnie, what are you going to do now?" Chaeng asked me as I kept staring at the wall.
"None, Chaeng. I have already decided."
"Are you sure about that Jendeukie? What about you?"
I smiled sadly, "What about me, Chu? I'll be fine. Promise."
"That can't be right. It's your happiness that's on the line too."
Lisa's smile suddenly flashed through my mind giving me butterflies on my stomach. "Her happiness comes first, right?"
"Jennie..."
"I'm fine. You should all go back. I need to prepare for the shoot."
Once they closed the door, I opened my Instagram and typed her username.
Nikizefanya
I clutched my phone tighter when I saw her recently uploaded picture.
She looks happy.
I smiled as I stare into her eyes.
Niki took her to see the stars, a way to make sure she's happy and to calm her nerves before her shoot.
Yet, here I am; her member, her family who is thousands of miles away from her yet I still found a way to hurt her... about to torture her more.
I locked my phone when I saw that a tear dropped on it.
I grabbed Nini; the stuffed toy she gave me and hugged it tightly, imagining that it's Lisa that I'm hugging.
Lili, please hold on. All this is for you. I'm sorry if this will hurt you as much as it's hurting me but I want you to be happy.
If fate decides that we can't be happy together then maybe this is the only happiness that I can give you.
I'm so so so proud of you. I wish you know that. I wish I could tell you that.
I wish I was there instead of here. I wish I was her so that I could support you too.
But I'm here, in Korea, about to drop another bomb that could destroy you.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I hope you'll never see this.
I seldomly pray but now, I felt the need to. I squeezed my eyes shut and called for Him.
Dear God, please don't let her see this. Keep her away from it. I beg you. I just want her to be happy. Please. Help me. Help me with this one.
I cried and cried until there were no more tears left to cry. Fatigue made me fell asleep while I was still clutching Nini near my heart.
Please don't let me break her again.
Lisa's POV
I groaned after hearing the director's cut again.
"Lisa, darling. Please. Just try to produce one tear. Just one. Or fake cry. Please." He begged as he stared at me.
I blushed from embarassment. This was the last scene, and yet I couldn't do it. I couldn't fake cry nor act like it.
We've tried to put eyedrops in my eyes but it wasn't effective. It was not even believable.
Acting isn't really my forte so why am I doing this???
I looked at unnie and pleaded using my eyes. She sighed before nodding, then talked with the director.
"Okay. 10 minutes break, please."
I immediately went to manager and she handed me a bottle of water. "That's almost your 8th take, Lisa."
I sighed as I massaged my temple. Fake crying is such a pain in the head. "I know unnie. I'm sorry. Is the director getting frustrated?"
She shook her head and gave me a smile, "He knows how hard it is to act, Lisa. Don't feel bad about yourself."
I tried to keep my emotions at bay as I heave heavy breaths.
"Lisa? Lisa. Breathe."
I saw Niki walking towards the lobby. "I'll be right back unnie."
I was about to walk away when she held my arm. "Where are you going, Lisa?" She said rasply. Her eyes darting here and there.
I gave her a small smile before removing her hand. "Lavatory. I need air. Please. I won't go anywhere."
She nodded but her eyes were wide.
What's happening? I won't even run away.
I followed her and I was correct when I saw her walking towards the stalls.
"NIKI!"
She turned around and gave me a big hug. "Dang, my surprise got ruined."
"What are you doing here?"
Niki rolled her eyes then playfully smacked me. "I'm here to support you. Duh?"
I acted cute and pinched her cheeks. "Awww. My baby Niki ish sho cute, come. Lemme give you a kiss." I tried to reach for her face when she ducked.
We continued doing that for a while until we were laughing. "Stop! Why are you here, though? Shouldn't you be shooting?"
Upon realization, my heart thrummed once again. "About that, can I borrow your phone? I need to call Chaeng."
"What? Why are you shaking?"
I shook my hand as I reached for her phone. "Nerves. I need to talk to her. She knows how to calm me."
"Okay. Get inside one of the cubicles. I'll stay behind to cover for you."
"Thank you."
She winked at me and shooed me. "Go, Lisa. Got you always."
I locked the cubicle and typed Chaeng's number. Thankfully, I memorized it after unnie let me use her phone.
I was about to press call when a notif popped. I didn't plan to open it but my curiousity got the best of me when I read her name.
Oh no. What is this? Why is my hand shaking?
I closed my eyes before tapping the notification.
When I peered over, my breathing hitched and I almost dropped Niki's phone.
What?
I read the article with my shaking hand and I supressed a gasp.
No. No. It can't be. Please.
Not again...
She told me it wasn't real. She told me she was sorry. That it was just a ploy...
But what is this?
What is this, Jennie?
You really do lie as easily as you breathe, Jennie and I am a fool to keep believing your words.
I stared at the screen for a few more minutes before I heard someone knocking on the door.
"Lisa, 10 minutes is up. They're looking for you. Your manager is almost on the way."
I stood up and almost lost my balance. My legs suddenly felt like jelly and my heart's pounding in my ears.
I opened the door and staggered towards her. Luckily she caught me before I fell.
"Woah. Are you okay?"
"I am." I croaked. She looked at me in the eyes and helped me regain my balance.
"Lisa... you look pale. Are you okay?"
I faced the mirror and fixed myself.
Are you okay, Lisa?
I wanted to laugh and break down at the same time. Am I okay?
"I am. Niki, here. Thank you." I made sure to delete the browse history before walking away from her... Away from that news. Away from the truth concealed by lies and gummy smiles.
Just like that, the happiness I felt for the last month was zapped out of me.
"Lisa! There you are. Go in position. Do you best okay?"
I nodded but the emptiness was getting through me. Their words were garbled up, the scenes were blurry and I stood there, like a robot. Feeling nothing. Hearing nothing but the imaginary breaking of my heart.
They pushed me to get in position and once I heard the music playing, I broke down.
3rd POV
They were all watching her as tears slowly cascaded down her pretty face.
Her emotion was so strong that everyone felt the pain she was exuding. All the struggles she faced and is facing, they can all feel it.
What changed after the 10 minute break?
Who is this woman who couldn't even cry a while ago?
Who broke Lalisa Manoban?
No one knew the answer except for one. She knew the possible cause of it but she didn't know how could that be.
It couldn't be that, right? She asked herself.
She saw Niki Zefanya panicking while on a phone call and there, she knew.
Her eyes went back on the frail girl infront of them and her heart also broke at the sight.
I'm sorry, Lisa. I tried to protect you. I did. I'm sorry. She said as she wiped her own tears away.
They heard the director shouting cut and his laugh echoed through the vast place.
"That was such a great act, Lisa! That's a wrap everybody!"
Instead of hearing loud claps and roars of delight, no one uttered anything as they were still staring at her. Still crying. Gasping for breaths as if she was drowning and no one was there to save her.
But maybe she was drowning, sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss yet no one could see it... No one was there to help her get out of the darkness that seemed to seep from her heart.
Oh no. This is bad. The manager thought as she rushed towards her.
"Lisa! Lisa. Breathe. Please. Breathe. Someone get an ambulance, please!"
"Lisa! Lisa! Please breathe. You're not breathing. Calm down, it's done. You're finished. Please. Calm down."
"What's happening?" They asked her but she shushed them away. She forced Lisa to stand up, but she couldn't even move. Thankfully, there were guards to help her.
As they were supporting her, she heard her ask, "Is it true, unnie? Was the news true?"
She didn't want to break her more but there was no other way. And so with a heavy heart, she nodded. The truth will hurt but lying to her when she saw what dispatch announced would hurt her more.
"It is, Lisa. I'm sorry."
Lisa squeezed her eyes shut as more tears fell. "She... She said it wasn't true. She said it was all media play, unnie! Did she lie?!"
"Lisa, please calm down..."
"I need answers, unnie. Please. Please I'm begging you."
She looked at her and gone was the playful Lisa she knows. Gone was the bright smiles. Gone was the sunshine.
The girl that was pleading infront of her was a foreign person in a familiar face. A broken shell of what she used to be. And her pieces may be too broken to piece them back again.
Lisa, I'm sorry.
She held the younger girl's hand and squeezed it. "It is true, Lisa. They're dating. Jennie and Kai didn't break up last February 1..."
And she saw the last glimmer of hope vanish from her doe eyes. She saw how she crumbled once again.
She saw her breaking for the same person over and over again.
Jennie, I hope you made the right decision because I think you just lost the Lisa you know...