↞[Ken]↠
I shone the flashlight into the woods, sifting through the trees, hoping things were still the same as before. Three small deodars surrounded a giant conifer, their leaves drooping down like green webs of a spider. They were naturally arranged into a compact triangle with the fir in the center. My lips curled in a victorious smile. "We're here!"
"We're going off trail‽" Luke yelled and pulled my arm back, making me stumble onto his chest.
"Ow! Trust me, will you?" I dragged him with me, walking past the triangle formation. From the way Luke was staring at his marks back at home like they were the most horrific and twisted thing in the world, I knew Yuuri had scrapped into his head. I could only hope that this would make things better for him.
A healthy amount of distraction can't harm anyone.
"Fine, fine," he mumbled beside me.
The trees scattered, revealing a clear path as moonbeams swathed the grass and tips of leaves in pale blue and white. Our soft footsteps got lost in the murmur of flowing waters when we passed the last cluster of trees and stood in a glade. Releasing Luke's hand, I turned to him and beamed. "Welcome to my brooding area!"
Luke's eyes twinkled as he walked past me. "Damn..."
"Discovered entirely by yours truly. I know, this place is awesome." My eyes fell on the evergreen lone Willow tree sitting by the river's edge. It's elongated leaves gently swayed in the winds, some snapping from their stems and rushing downstream.
Luke had already made his way beside the tree. His palm pressed on its bark as he gazed into the ribbon of clear water. "How did you find this place?" he shouted, then bent forward. "There's fish here! And..." He perked up again and turned to me an amused expression. "Can you smell that?"
"Yeah!" The glade was belted with an abundance of Chokeberry bushes. Even in fruiting stages, few had tiny flowers, white petals bared, revealing slender anthers tipped with red dots. They were heavily perfumed with an intoxicating wine-like scent. I plucked a few red berries as I walked to Luke, extending my palm towards him, I said, "Chokeberries."
He picked a handful from my palm and examined one between his fingers. "Edible?" he asked and sniffed the berry. "Fuck. That's a strong aroma."
"Yep, they're kind of bitter, though."
He popped it in his mouth, chewed a little, and scrunched his nose. "That and sour."
Laughing a little, I dropped the rest on the ground and grabbed Luke's arm to pull him on the grass with me. Though wet and frigid, the turf felt soft. Adjusting himself on his elbows, Luke laid with his legs carefreely sprawled in front of the river. I crossed my legs and leaned back, balancing on my palms. Watching the low ridges of ripples in the crystal water, I realized how little had changed, yet in the dynamics of a few months, nothing remained the same. Luke's warm presence in the cold grassland reminded me of his words from hours back. "Talk to me."
"Before Noah's death," I said, voice sounding indifferent to my ears, "I used to come here all the time. To be alone, or to play games in peace."
Luke shifted, and his arm touched mine. "Ken, I know you're not okay. Just know that..." He softly nuzzled my neck, and the bridge of his nose wedged on my jawline. "I'm here if you want to talk."
Did I deserve a guy like Luke? Probably not. His soothing voice tightened over me like a safety harness, and words flayed me open. For once, I felt the need to be selfish and free in his arms. "I couldn't help him," I said, bringing my knees close to my chest. "I was right there when the bear attacked Noah, and I froze." Unable to look at Luke, I fixed my gaze on the single dewdrop trickling down the grass blade. "I said that I was ready to face reality, but I think... I think I'm not."
He'll think I'm pathetic.
"What could you have done? Jumped in front of the bear and wrestled it to the ground?" He moved and sat in front of me, fingers curling over my arm. His touch insisted me to look at him. "It's not simple to lose and let go, Ken. My mother left my dad and me when I was five," he said, steely violet eyes boring into mine.
"I-I had no idea... I'm sorry." When Luke pointedly omitted any topics of his mother, I wondered but did not dare unseal any wounds.
"I know this isn't relatable. But I get where you're coming from. For a longer part of my life, I blamed it on myself," he said, keeping a steady gaze on me. "My dad never told me what happened, and I never asked out of pity. But in some ways, I knew that it was because of me."
"That's... you were just five!" I blurted.
Luke squeezed my arm, unfolding them from my knees. "It's painful, Ken. Thinking you're the reason when you really are not. I know how it feels... Trust me, there was nothing you could've done. Helplessness is one thing, but don't blame yourself."
I exhaled through my mouth. "I guess."
He smiled faintly. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"I'm sorry," I muttered.
Every step towards Luke felt like walking on a tightrope. Our increasing closeness wrapped me in the security of not falling, and the more I unraveled myself, the tighter it held me. He was the first guy I expressed my sexuality to - found comfort in a new place, in the arms of a stranger. But we were strangers no more, and I didn't know my place beside Luke Raynott, especially now. I was afraid of slipping off the rope and not having his hand to catch me.
"You're spacing out." He parted my knees, and I stopped uprooting the grass beside me, all awareness shooting to his tentative touch.
Through quickening heartbeat, I said, "I brought you to here to help you, and I'm just giving you my problems."
"Well, the major problem I'm facing is..." He said and placed his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. Soon enough, I was sitting on his thighs™.
"Wa- woah!" I looped my arms over his neck to balance. The ripped-out grass blades loosened from my fists as I held his back.
"Not seeing you blush is a major downer." He looked up into my eyes, one hand freeing to remove my glasses. "Did I mention how stunning you look under this moonlight," he whispered, warm breath laced with the acrid aroma of ripe chokeberries.
Heat tingled my cheeks when his hands guided my legs around his waist. "So do you," I admitted. Moonbeams slipping through the canopy of trees created a mesmerizing Tyndall effect, dousing his bronze locks in silver and sharpening his features.
"Pfftt, ever noticed these marks?" He shook his head. "Looks like I walked out of a fighting pit," he said and pouted.
"They look good on you." I regretted my whole existence when my voice rebounded to my ears as if there was a short delay.
Maybe it was the shadows, but I could swear I saw his eyes darkening. He bit his lower lip. "I-uhhh, yep, that was weird," I stuttered out, trying to lessen my panic but instead making it worse. I should think more before opening my stupid mouth.
He chuckled softly. "Jesus. You're full of surprises." His grip tightened, fibers of my shirt rasping against my waist. Luke crooked his neck sideways, baring his skin, pale even in the night. "Mark me, Ken."
"What?!" I shouted, scaring myself from my voice. He cannot be serious. I tried to pull away, but he locked his hands behind me, rendering me useless.
"Bite me." He lifted his face to me. "Leave your print on me." His raspy whisper tickled my ear. "I know how much you want to be mine."
I did. Like a barrier collapsing, Luke's words coiled heat over my sensitive areas. My mind rushed back to how his lips felt on mine - not cottony like a girl's, but chapped and so right. He was the first guy I kissed, and he was gentle like the winds in fall.
His nose caressed the dip under my earlobe. "Just as much as I want you." His lips moved down my neck, words rolling against my flesh.
My racing heart was getting harder to contain. My grip tightened, wrinkling the thin fabric of Luke's shirt, in hopes of releasing some overflowing anxiety. I spoke with a shaky laugh. "You're kinda insane, Luke, you know that?"
"You're bringing it out, Ken." He pulled back, watching me with half-lidded eyes, irises colored in the darkest shade of violet.
Another wave of hesitation swept over me. "Ha-how..." I spoke, not sure what I was even trying to ask. Wordlessly, he tipped his chin, a sheet of air in between our lips. How do I hold back when I want to feel more than those lips?
I closed the distance - rugged lips crushing mine. Luke parted my mouth, and relaxed breaths teased my cheek as his tongue lewdly glided with mine. He tasted bitter and sour like those berries. My legs pressed his hips, trying to contain the rising temperature, and he pulled me closer.
Without breaking contact with him, I dragged my lips down, his taste lingering on my tongue. I stopped on the grainy skin of his neck. He sighed whimsically when I kissed his neck, flesh slipping between my teeth. "Ken..." he breathed out, his head reeling back and hand starkly moving up my spine, lifting my shirt in the process. Closing my lips, I sucked the supple skin, tongue savoring his taste. When I thrust my teeth, he groaned huskily, and God, that sound. His fingers dug into my back, blunt nails grazing my flesh.
My pants were becoming tight, and I ached with need, mind swimming with the desire to have all of him. My hand moved beneath his shirt, craving for more, and fingertips traced the taut lines of his muscles. His abdomen flexed under my touch, and in a swift motion, Luke grabbed my wrist to push me away, my mouth freeing his neck with a sharp inhale.
Thoughts running like wild scribbles on paper, my face heated, now with embarrassment. "Ah, fuck! I-I'm sorry," I said in haste. I shoved my fists against his chest, trying to scramble away from him.
Why the fuck did I do that? Why in the goddamn hell did I do that?
Luke's grip shifted to my hip's curves, moving me closer to himself. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you-"
"I-it's fine! I shouldn't have!" I barely heard his voice over my fueling anxiety. I need to get away.
"No. Ken, listen to me-" His fingers dug into my muscles. But it didn't break my confidence to get off Luke's lap.
Arms hugged my waist; his cheek rested against mine. Luke lifted his hips and rolled them, grinding our crotches together. A breathy moan welled-up from my throat when the curve of his erection rubbed on mine, straining through our clothes. He pushed me lower and pressed harder with a deep groan. The friction roused my dick instantly. If my blush wasn't already bad, I must be the deepest shade of red now. My face was literally on fire.
He pulled away then, a smirk played around his lips as he licked his lips, teasing me with the close proximity. "If I didn't stop, I wouldn't be able to hold back. I don't want our first time to be like this." He chuckled, warm breath fanned my face. "On the fucking grass. But don't even think for a second that you don't drive me wild, Kenshirou," he said in a low voice that made me shiver. He somehow made my name sound better.
My eyes closed when he kissed me, a little more rough this time, his teeth biting on my lower lip. "This is not normal," the thought suddenly invaded my mind. He smiled through the kiss. "Now get off me. You're making the situation worse."
With a shaky laugh, I stood up and grabbed my glasses. Don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look. My eyes still moved to Luke's crotch, proudly showcasing his prominent boner even through the fucking denim, hanging low to his left leg. Fuck.
I turned away in haste, but he already caught me staring. Play it off cool, Kenshirou. "Nice pants." I should just dig a grave for myself at this point.
"Want to wear them?" He asked with a sly smile.
"We should go home. I'm kinda sleepy," I said, trying to avoid his coy question. In a queue, a yawn overcame me.
"Yeah, it's getting cold too."
He started walking beside me.
"We should do this more often," I said, realizing a tad late how it sounded. My speech skills have gone down to minus ten.
"You'll get me addicted, Ken." His suggestive tone was enough to understand that he wasn't talking about the late-night walk.
Maybe I was just tired, but getting out of the forest took way longer than going in there. My legs were ready to give out when we reached back home. I was not hungry anymore and craved the comfort of a bed. "You'll be okay?" I asked Luke before going into my mom's bedroom to sleep. He'd be more comfortable in my room.
"Mm-hmm, you sleep, don't think about me," he said and softly kissed the corner of my mouth. He hummed in pleasure, then lifted his chin to kiss my forehead.
"Hard not to," I said with heat rising to my cheeks before we both retired into our rooms.
Mom's room was still the same-just like her. The bed was neatly made not a single crinkle on the sheets, and no clutter on the end tables. The shelves above the headboard were stalked with thick-spined books. The mattress sunk under my weight with a squeak, and I turned off the lamp beside me. As I stared at the ceiling, now veiled behind a blanket of darkness, my mind raced with my unusual attraction to Luke. And how fast everything was happening like someone pushed the fast-forward button. Luke said that he wanted to take things slow, but my desperation...
How his lips had felt, and how his tongue had stroked mine were the last things I remembered before I fell asleep.
⋆✧ *⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧⋆
"Anything for you?" She smiled, lifting her head from the palm-size notepad she was holding. Her red lipstick stuck out on her neon yellow apron like an eye-sore.
"I'll have a vanilla latte, thank you." She clicked her pen and scribbled down something.
"Cold?" she asked without looking up.
"Hot," I said with an anxious smile, which felt unnatural on my face, probably even looked off. She smiled and walked away, the clicks of her high-heels were slowly replaced with voices of people talking.
I turned to Noah. He was busy typing on his phone. I cleared my throat, "Cowabunga," I said, making him look up from his phone and stare at me with creased eyebrows.
"What?"
"Tryna get your attention." I shrugged. "I'm thinking game. Tonight?" I asked him.
"I'm down if you are. Going to invite the whole team or just us?" He placed his phone down on the table.
"Bro time is cool too," I said and flashed a cheeky grin.
"Yeah! I'm tired of those stuck up assholes, anyway." He rolled his eyes and moved to grab his phone from the table. "Though Yuuri ain't so bad." I slapped his hand away.
"Ow! What was that for?" He cried in protest.
"You're addicted, Noah. Now listen, I have something I need to tell you."
"Sounds serious?"
My fingers were digging into my knees. My tightening chest numbed the pain. I nodded. "Noah..." I said, and stopped for a minute. He just stared at me with a blank expression. I clenched my fist harder and blurted out, "I'm gay."
His mouth opened for a response, but he closed it and moved his hand to the back of his neck. My heartbeat was so loud in my ears that I couldn't clearly hear his words when he spoke. When I said nothing, he tilted his head and repeated himself, "Shirou, why didn't you tell me before?"
"I don't-"
He raised his hand. "No, don't answer that. It was a stupid question." He sighed, and his lips curled into a small smile. "I had my doubts, really. I mean, you avoided all juniors hitting on you like the plague." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah..." I said awkwardly. "And all the freshmen keep calling me 'Senpai.'" A shiver ran down my spine. "It's horrible."
Noah snorted. "It's cool, though. I should strip you of all friendship rights for not telling me sooner." He grinned in his usual goofy manner. "Stacy still thinks she has a chance."
Heat rose to my face then. "Don't tell anyone!"
"Of course! I'm not that stupid, Shirou." He pouted like an injured puppy. Noah was the only person I trusted. The need to relieve the stress of being closeted around every other person I knew was... enormous.
"I'm glad you told me," Noah said with a content smile.
"Me too." I smiled.
He grasped his phone to start typing again.
The waitress came back, this time, with a tray in her hand. She smiled as she placed the mug on the table and said, "Here's your order." Stuffy vanilla infused in the air around me, a scent so sickeningly sweet that it turned my stomach. I stared into the cup with disappointment and mild disgust. "A hot vanilla latte."
"There's a mistake." Something perfumy and sweet like vanilla was the last thing I wanted near my coffee, or just near me in general. "I didn't order this..."
She cocked her head to the side in amusement. "Oh, but you just did, Kenshirou," she said, breaking my name into syllables and accentuating on each one.
A chill froze me in place when I noticed how unnaturally big her smile was and how it never left her face. She just stood there, staring at me with that... grin, not even moving a little. Claustrophobia from her body and booth pressed me.
"N-Noah." I turned to him, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw his seat was empty. A line of wet blood dripped down from the backrest - a string of bright red, contrasting with the beige colored booth. His phone sat on the table, its screen cracked open, and dark blood pooling it.
The cold nipped on all my extremities. Noah was gone, and I was right here. I didn't do anything, made no attempt to help him from that attack.
I felt a presence, and my eyes snapped to the broad-shouldered guy walking towards me. I clenched my jaw when I saw the familiar black suit and tinted sunglasses.
No, this was not happening. Not here, not like this.
⋆✧ *⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧⋆
My eyes opened in panic. The bedroom stood still in the tangible darkness. Sweat pasted my shirt to my back, and it dripped down from my forehead. It was a fucking dream? My arm darted to the bedside lamp beside me. I almost tipped it off the table before turning it on. Amber lights sliced through the blanket of night.
"Fuck this fucking shit," I mumbled, sitting straight against the headboard. That man. The guy I kept seeing was now haunting my dreams. Noah's voice and his face played in my head like a broken piece of record. "Don't think about it," I chanted in my head.
I untangled the knots between the wet strands of my hair. The clock sounded like a ticking bomb in the silent room. I stared at it - five minutes past three. Uuuuggghhhh. The beats of my heart were still unstable, and my throat felt like someone poured sand in it.
Maybe grab a glass of water. But I didn't feel like going downstairs to the kitchen. When my stomach made a sad growling sound, I realized how I hadn't eaten anything. The last thing my tongue tasted had been Luke. I felt the urge to check on him.
"Damn it," I quietly complained while leaving the bed. My soaked clothes felt cold against my skin, as I stepped outside the bedroom, ignoring my glasses out of frustration.
The hallway turned dark when I closed the door behind me. A thin strip of light cast on the wall. Luke's door was closed, but lights still managed to slip through the gap under the door.
Why is he still awake?
Against my will, my body walked to his bedroom's door, which I noticed was just a bit ajar. Should I check? I held the doorknob in my hand and weighed my options. Maybe he sleeps with lights on. That would make sense. Or... maybe he's not in the room! The fucking sleepwalking.
I slowly opened the door, trying my best to not make any sound. My whole being wanted to see him safely asleep. Instead, Luke was sitting on the bed, his back resting against the headboard. The lamp beside him was on, and his violet irises followed the lines of a book in his hand.
Despite my best efforts, the door betrayed me, and the hinges made a pretty loud squeak. Luke turned his head in a hurry, but all the panic dissipated from his eyes when he saw me.
"Ken?"
My fist closed on the hem of my shirt. "Sorry, I freaked you out," I said and entered the room, closing the door behind me to keep the darkness behind me at bay.
"Can't sleep?" He asked as he closed the book he was reading, and I truly noticed him. He wasn't wearing a shirt, finally giving a vivid picture of my imaginations.
Yes, I fucking imagined him shirtless many times. Sue me.
Prominent muscles lined his arms and his abdomen. Exactly the way they had felt under my fingertips. His smooth skin was patterned with regular patches and lines of bruises. They were way more than I had ever seen. My stomach sank from sight. He cleared his throat, bringing me back to Earth. "I-uh, why are you awake?" I asked and crossed my arms over my chest.
"I didn't feel like sleeping. I saw some comics in your room, and I forgot about the time." Luke closed the comic strip. His violet eyes locked with mine, and he smirked. "See something you like, Ken?" I yelped and immediately averted my head, realizing how long I had been staring.
"Now that you're here." He bit his lip before saying, "I could use the company." He shifted towards the wall, and an overhanging window, and patted the empty space beside him. I just stared at him from the doorway. "C'mon, Ken. I won't bite you." A coy smile flashed on his face.
I smiled involuntarily and said, "Will you ever stop?" I climbed on the bed beside him. There wasn't as much space on my single bed compared to my mom's double bed.
"Nope, not when it's about you," he said. When I got closer to him, I saw the dark red patch on his neck, spread-out on his skin like a blotch of red ink on paper. It was riper than all the other wounds. I did that. Super.
"Now, why 're you awake? And sneaking into my room." He raised his hands. "Not that I'm complaining."
"I just had a bad dream, so I stepped out and saw your lights on," I said, flinching at the memory.
He frowned, "What did you see?"
"Luke, there's something I need to tell you."
He looked unsure for a moment, then nodded.
"This will sound crazy, but I've been seeing things. Thing. A guy," I said, my stomach turning into knots by hearing myself say it out loud.
"What guy, Ken? Where?"
I breathed out, trying to calm my nerves and spoke, "Remember when we went to that coffee shop after I found you at your place?"
"Yeah."
"I saw his really creepy guy in a black suit and sunglasses, looking like some secret agent. He was standing out too much. I thought it's kinda weird, so I was about to tell you, but when I turned, he just vanished. I looked everywhere in the café, but he wasn't there."
He was just silently looking at me, so I continued.
"This wasn't a big deal, obviously. But then I saw The Man again. Near the vet clinic... when we went to drop Martha. I tried to tell you, but he disappeared again," I said. This sounded way too irrational to be real.
He's gonna think I'm crazy.
"Shit..." he murmured, looking away from me and contemplating. I should've never opened my mouth. It sounded so fucking stupid after I said it out loud. "You think someone is following us?"
"I know how it sounds- Wait, you believe me‽" My voice cracked, making me cringe.
"Of course, Ken. Why would I not?" he said and then smiled. "You said it yourself: we're a team."
I swallowed the lump rising in my throat and the sting in my eyes. Luke didn't even care to cross-question me. He trusted me more than I trust myself. His fingers loosened my fist, and he gently pulled me into a hug. My breathing hitched, and heart hammered, being close to his shirtless body. "Ken..."
"I-I'm sorry. It's just, I thought I'm going crazy."
"It's okay. We've both seen some ridiculous things. I won't be surprised if we're being stalked or something." He pulled away with an admiring smile on his lips. "I'll always believe what you say." My heart swelled at his words.
"Yeah?" I started playfully. "What if told you that I've actually been a werewolf all along?"
He laughed. "Well then, I guess I'm into big dogs now," he said and winked at me.
I groaned in frustration and pushed a cushion on him, almost losing my balance and falling from the bed, but he caught me by the arm. "Careful there. You should really go back to sleep," he said while yawning.
"You too," I said and frowned. "You can't keep reading the whole night."
"Better than getting scars, really," he said and yawned again.
He had a point, but the solution wasn't staying awake, he would have to sleep at some point, and he looked drained. For now, I didn't want to leave him. "Can I stay with you?" I asked him meekly.
An unreadable expression clouded his features briefly. Hesitation or plain shock? I couldn't tell. Luke had told me that he didn't spend nights with anyone, especially sleeping on the same bed.
I shouldn't have asked.
His expression changed to a subtle smirk. "Sounds like a plan where no one will get sleep."
My cheeks heated. "I meant, I can just lie on the floor," I said and pointed on the floor beside the bed.
"Nah, too late," he said and wrapped me in his arms, and pulled me down on the bed.
"Why are you so strong?" I said, struggling to breathe.
"Kill the lights, Ken," he demanded.
"Uuugh," I reached the lamp and pulled the string, shadows immediately surrounding us. Today, the darkness seemed lonely like an unwelcoming hug with cold arms. But the feeling slowly went away by being with him. It was enough to provide me the warmth and safety I needed to fall asleep.
He buried his face into my back and placed his arm over me. I intertwined my fingers into his. "Don't be scared when you don't see me beside you in the morning," he said, making me tighten my grip.
Honestly, who was I to think that my presence would change something? But a strange feeling told me to stay around him.
I'll not let you go.
⋆✧ *⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧ * ⋆* ✧⋆