May 2nd, 2016.
I miss her, my wife.
August 7th, 2012.
When I first got to know her, she was timid. Her name is Shin Haeun. She didn't speak much and she always has her head down. I've been known her brother, Hoseok from the police academy.
She has a twin sister named Haein and she's the opposite of Haeun. I'm in love with Haein. She is bubbly, easily get along with other people and she is friendly.
September 5th, 2014.
I was engaged with Haein but sadly she died in a car accident with Haeun a month before our marriage. I blamed Haeun for everything that happen to Haein because I think she is the reason why my beloved fiance died in the car crash.
I wished she is the one who died, not Haein.
October 13th, 2014.
A month after, Haeun had to replace Haein on our wedding day. I strongly objected my parents wishes to marry me with the murderer of Haein but when I think about it again, I think I could use this chance to take my revenge with this way. I agreed to marry her.
She moved into my house but we never share the same room. We often come over to my parent-in-law's house. My relationship with them is totally fine, they treated me like their own son but things changed for Haeun. She was not welcome there, every time we came. She was being mistreat.
I heard everything. Everything that her family said to her but she said nothing and smile, like an idiot. Honestly, I don't understand this woman. Somehow, I was hoping that she would tell me to stop going to her parents' house but she is not. She knew when will we go to her parents house and she was really excited.
She packed a lot of foods that she cooked from our house.
January 3rd, 2015.
One night, I came home after drinking a lot but I did not get drunk. I am really good at drinking. Haeun greeted me as usual, like everytime I came home every night but that night I felt heavy rage inside me. She always had that stupid smile on her face and I still could not understand why. I lashed out everything towards her. I threw all the hateful words that came into my mind. I even tried to hurt her physically that night but she says nothing.
The next day I woke up, all the messes from last night were cleaned. Breakfast was served on the table as usual. She acted like nothing has actually happens. I looked around the house for her but she was no where to be found. I walked to her wardrobe to see if her clothes are still there, not that I'm being dramatic but this kind of scene often happens in dramas.
Her clothes are still in the wardrobe.
February 5th, 2015.
It's been a month since the incident and as usual, Haeun acted as nothing has happen. As soon as I reached my desk, Hoseok approached me with a few documents which is the reports of the current criminal we were chasing. He told me some updates about the case that we have been investigating. Hoseok told me that they are some similarities between the past victims. They were all has past with depressions and suicide attempt.
I never thought that this serial killer will get my wife's life in line.
August 2nd, 2015.
I was working on my report when my phone ring. I saw Haeun's name popped on the screen but I ignored her call. After a few minutes my phone is ringing again but I am not in the mood to deal with at the moment.
However, something seems off. Haeun never call me, unless something bad happens. I had a bad feelings about this. I grabbed my phone to call her back but I could not reach her.
I was about to run out from my office when someone from the emergency calls department run into ours. A fresh new officer received a call from a woman and she was being attacked by the serial killer in her own house.
That was awful. Whoever the woman is, I feel bad for her. Hoseok and I were ready to go the crime scene and I almost lost my soul when they said the name of victim and the address.
It's my goddamn wife, Shin Haeun!
I almost dropped my phone on the ground. Both of us were lost in words. I look over Hoseok to ask him if I was hearing it right but I heard his gasped for his only sister name. Hoseok ran off, leaving me behind but I managed to get back to my sense. Shouting out loud, I asked for some back up before driving back to my house.
Haeun is in danger.
As soon as we arrived, I saw the front door was open but I see no one and I heard nothing. Quickly we pulled out our guns before kicking the door. The backup has arrived and they are waiting for my order. Gladly, Hoseok managed to pull himself together.
No one is in the living room so we proceed to check the dining room and kitchen but still nobody in there. Quickly I moved towards Haeun bedroom and try to open the door but it was locked. I kicked the door a few times before get into her room.
A body lied down on the bloody floor while another one leaned against the wall and panting. I was amazed by how Haeun managed to take down this dangerous criminal alone. The criminal is still alive, just bleeding out after being knocked out by Haeun.
I turned my head towards Haeun. She was looking at me without saying anything or smile like she used to. Somehow it felt diffent and I don't like this feeling. I just realized she was looking at me with her drowsy, her lips was dry and her skin was pale. She was not this pale as I remember.
Something felt odd. My eyes trailed down to hand and caught she was holding her left abdoment. It was bloody. There's a wound on her abdomen and she would not stop bleeding. I just realised the blood on the floor does not belong to the criminal but Haeun.
I called her names and she looks like falling asleep. I slowly pulled her into my arms and told her to try not to fall asleep. I tapped her on her cheeks to make her look at me while her hand still hold onto that wound.
I yelled out for Hoseok and called ambulance with my trembling hands. Hoseok came into the room and finally realised that his sister is losing too much blood. He called her name and he was trembling to see his sister in this state. His only sister left.
I took off my jacket and wrapped her with it when I felt her hands were so cold. Hoseok took off his jacket and put it on the wound on her left side of stomach. It looks like was stabbed. Looking at the bloody floor, I think she was stabbed more than once.
I kept telling her to not fall asleep. I kept telling her to keep open her eyes open but she would not listen to me or Hoseok.
Haeun fell asleep in my arms.
She was pushed to perform a surgery. Hoseok has called his parents and when they came, just like me they felt regret. I hate this feeling. It is painful to be in this situation again. I felt like, I have been losing my mind when Haein died. I am not ready to lose Haeun too. It feels like deja vu.
Haeun's mother dropped on the floor, crying out loud for the child that she had been mistreat while Hoseok went down and hugged his mother. Her father could only stood still, looking downward on the hospital floor.
I know, I have been mean to her but I actually have been slowly trying to accept the reality and accepting her in my life. I closed my eyes and I saw Haeun's smiles every time she greeted me when I came home. I hate to admit it but I missed her smile.
She smiles whenever her parents hurt her feelings. She smiles, when Hoseok threw cynical remarks on her. She smiles even after I hurt her, so bad.
Her smiles hurt me, a lot.
I don't know for how long I have been lost minded on this hospital chair. I kept thinking about her. My eyes shoot open when I heard my mother-in-law called the doctor. I quickly stood up and went to the doctor. For once, I was worried for Haeun. The doctor had a sullen look on his face and told us to pray and hoping the best for Haeun.
Apparently, she was stabbed five times on her lower abdominal area. The doctor said, he was amazed on how long Haeun could survive for almost an hour with bad injury like that.
The doctor even told us something that really shock every one of us. Haeun have been cutting herself. The doctor says he saw a lot of cutting scars on her arms, thighs and her abdominal area. She was suspected to be in depression state. I was taken back by the doctor's words.
I know exactly what happen to her until she become depression like this.
August 9th, 2015.
It has been a week but Haeun still has not wake up from her long sleep yet. I sat on the chair next to her bed, staring at her face. I see Haein in her but I could not see Haeun in Haein. I always think Haein is better than Haeun and how I always think that Haeun killed Haein when it actually does not make any sense at all.
She was hurt in the accident too but knowning Haein, she will do anything to saw her twin sister. Haeun is the only memory I have left of Haein but I would never have any memory of Haeun if she gone. All these time, I was mean a husband to Haeun. That night when I had a fight with her, she did not say any single word. Nothing come out from her mouth but her eyes were on the ground, as if she was not listening to me.
That same night, I throw a heavy ceramic vase on her but she managed to dodge it. Her acts made me more mad and pulled out my guns and pointed it on her.
I feel really bad, doing those awful things on her. I was wondering why does she not looking traumatize after that night. Now I know why.
I was busy 'bathing' her on her bed, I took her arm and caressed all the scars on it. Now it made sense why she was always wearing a long sleeve shirt one of the reason why the serial killer is after her. She is under depression, because of me. If I could turn back the time...
Everyday, blaming myself felt like a routine. Her family came everyday and took a good care of her while me and Hoseok were on duty. My eyes were getting teary and looked away from Haeun, trying to calm myself.
Suddenl, I felt her fingers twitched while I was holding them. I quickly called the doctor. As soon as the doctor arrived, Haeun has slowly opened her eyes. Honestly, she still does not looking good. Her eyes seems tired.
I saw her eyes looked at me and her tears rolled down. I quickly wiped it and told her everything is fine. She did not say anything but her eyes seems like telling me something. Slowly, she brought her hand towards mine and hold it. Her hand was cold. After a few seconds, she frowned a bit and groan in pain.
The very last words I heard came out from her mouth are "I'm sorry. I missed Haein, a lot.", sounds like a whispers but I heard her. I do not know what was she saying but it was not something good. I mean, I do not know why did she say that. Why did she say she missed Haein, all of sudden?
A few seconds after that her heart rate was going crazy. The doctor who was checking up on her was shocked and called for some help. They told me to get out from her ward for a few moment. I did, even though I did not want to. I heard the doctor said her heart suddenly stop beating. I stood anxiously outside of her room after calling Hoseok.
After a few minutes, the doctor came out from the room with a sullen face again. He shook his head and told me Haeun could not make it. I could not believe him. She just opened her eyes a few minutes ago and even talked to me.
I heard a loud ring on my ears before passed out.
May 2nd, 2016.
I stared at both of the tombstones in front of me. I once loved Haein but I love Haeun more than I could ever imagine. It feels like I was in love with the same person with the different personalities. I will miss both them but I definately going to miss Haeun a lot.
I still do have a lot of regrets. I wished I could turn back time.
I miss Haein but I miss Haeun too.
I miss her, my wife.