"Niki?!" I squealed as she opened her arms for me to hug her in which I immediately run into. She smelled like flowers and spring and all things good.
"Happy birthday, Lisa!" She giggled as she tightened the hug.
The producer- John faked a cough, which made us turn to him. "Oh, I didn't know it was your birthday, Lisa. If I had known, I would've prepared a small celebration for you."
Once we both let go of each other from that warm yet suffocating hug, I glanced at manager unnie and she has this confused look on her face. I blushed while Niki chuckled as she put her arm on my shoulder.
"You see, John, her birthday was two weeks ago but I made this little kiddo a promise to sing her the birthday song everyday."
He was clearly amused by that information as he regarded me with a smile, "Well, belated happy birthday Lisa. But I guess I don't need you to introduce to each other?"
We shook our heads as we grinned, "No. Thank you, John."
He clapped his hands and sat down on one of the couches available. He motioned for us to sit and we did.
"Okay then, let's get down to business."
I nodded as I felt my heart rate increasing.
This is it, Lisa.
We discussed the possible concepts/ song drafts for my solo and I liked everything but there was one song that caught my attention.
I picked up the piece of paper and scanned the whole text.
"Ah, yes. That song. Kinda sad, actually. It might not fit your style, Lisa. Are you sure about it?"
I read the lyrics again and it kinda struck me, twisting my heart as scenarios flashed through my memory. It reminds me of her and what I've been through.
I nodded and offered him a shy smile.
"Can I..." I paused. Hesitant to ask him for a favor.
"What is it, darling?" He urged with a gentle smile.
I looked at manager first and she nodded. "Can I tweak this just a little bit?"
"Oh sure. That's what I was planning to do as well."
"Really?!"
"You see, great songs come from the heart of an artist and for the listeners to be able to relate, the singer must relate to it first, yes?"
I nodded eagerly. "Yes!" I cleared my throat upon realizing that I was almost shouting. "Yes. Thank you."
Once the meeting was finished, he congratulated me for my solo and we decided to eat outside and explore L.A a little bit more.
"Niki, are you sure you're not busy?"
She stretched her limbs and I ducked when her arm almost smacked me in the face.
She chuckled, "Oh no. I cleared all my schedule for today."
I gasped and almost hit her, but I realized that we are not that close in person yet so I retracted my arm and put it on my waist instead. "What? Why did you?"
"Well, you see I've always wanted to see and meet Lalisa Manoban aka the ponytail rapper in person and this was too good of a chance to pass up, you know. So here I am. I'm free for the whole day. No hidden charges included."
She gave me a wink which made me chuckle. "You're an idiot."
She softly laughed as she clung to my arms. Well I guess personal space doesn't matter to her. "I am. But why didn't you text me that you're going here in L.A?"
I scratched my head when I remember that I haven't texted my mom nor the girls that I'm already here. "I... I forgot?"
I lied as I couldn't tell her that my phone's confiscated for the duration of this trip. A small price to pay for this solo, right?
"Now who's more of an idiot than I am?"
"I am."
She had this smirk as we settled into the restaurant. Damn, why is this packed at this hour? I looked at my watch and it's already 11 PM.
Manager unnie was suddenly on my side which made my heart jump a little. "Lisa, I have to go somewhere. Will you be okay here? The guards will accompany you so that they can keep an eye on you."
"Are you okay, unnie? You haven't eaten anything, yet. Maybe that could wait? You're probably hungry."
She shook her head as she glanced at her watch. "I can't, Lisa. This is important so I can't... Eat well okay? And remember what I told you before on the plane, okay?"
Dang. I thought she forgot about it already. I nodded with a heavy heart.
"Okay, Lisa? We're clear here right? No cellphone."
"Yes, unnie."
She gave me a nod while eyeing me then turned to Niki to give her a smile. She disappeared through the mass of people coming in and out of this restaurant.
I sighed. No cellphones then.
"You okay, Lisa?"
"I am."
"I kinda heard something about 'handu-phones' so I'm guessing that she's talking about your phone?"
I looked at her before realizing that unnie and I conversed in Korean and not in english so I nodded. I should probably be used to speaking in english then.
"Let's just eat? I'm famished."
I let her order her favorites and her recommendations and once the waitress was gone, she eyed me curiously.
"What is it, Niki?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong but I remember something that I've been dying to ask you about..."
I rolled my eyes at her but chuckled playfully, "Cut the chase Niki and just aim for the kill. What is it?"
She grinned before taking a sip of her drink. I took a sip of my as well. I slightly cringed, wine never really suited my taste. I prefer soju nights with the-
"So how did miss Jennie react to your confession?"
I coughed as I felt bile rise up my mouth when I heard her question so I washed it down with water. "What? How did you know about that?"
"You told me through that phone call, remember?"
"I did?"
"Uh huh."
I scratched my head, not totally remembering when or where I called her to inform her but I guess I was that drunk. "Huh. Well, it didn't turn out the way I liked it to be..."
"Why?"
I faked a grin at her in which she frowned at. "I pretended that I couldn't remember I confessed to her..."
She huffed and drank her wine, "Huh. Typical of you."
"That's all you're gonna say?"
She rolled her eyes, "Well, if it's you we're talking about here, then I'm not at all surprised anymore."
"What?"
She looked at me dead in the eyes then sighed. "Lisa, you're a dancing memorizing something machine on stage, you're cute and fluffy off cam but you're basically..."
"Basically what?" I saw her sip her wine, a small smile playing on her lips.
"--stupid. You're basically stupid."
I scoffed while clutching my heart, feigning that it hurts. "Should I feel offended or what? Niki, that hurts! Ouch."
She laughed then smacked my arm away from my heart, "No, I mean. You're new to this, basically you're a beginner in handling your emotions. And that move was such a cliché. Who suggested that?"
"Chaeng- I mean, Ro-"
She waved her hand dismissively, as she rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah. Roseanne Park."
My eyes widened. What?
"You know her?"
"Who?"
"Chaeyoung."
She chuckled once again while flicking my head, "Of course, stupid. You think I don't know the names of your members?"
I smiled sheepishly, hiding my embarassment. "I was just joking, Niki."
"Anyway, I haven't congratulated you yet with your solo. Congratulations, Lisa!" She grinned while raising her glass to have a toast in which I copied her act.
"Cheers to the success of your solo and your happiness!"
"Cheers to that!"
I heard the glass clink and I happily gulped down the wine.
***
I've been here for almost a month now and everything is going on such a rapid pace. I have already completed the lyrics for my song and we already tried different tunes and recorded demos.
Doing this solo is hard, but it brings me such happiness that it lessens the stress and burden.
Also, the weather here is always nice so I'm able to take a walk here and there. Niki then took me to Coachella and I had a blast that night. Probably one of the best nights of my life.
The happiness the crowd exudes, the loud music, the outfits and the place was just buzzing with pure energy that it made my heart thrum with desire to dance and forget all the worry in the world.
That night was perfect but I still felt incomplete. I just wished that my members were there with me to experience the high of it all. It'll be our first out of the country music festival if only they were there.
I sighed.
I miss them. I miss pinching Chaeng's cheeks. I miss watching Jisoo play Overwatch even though she was a bitch when we last talked. I miss Leo and Luca. I miss them all.
But my heart ached when I realize that I miss her more than everything I mentioned.
I miss her gummy smile, her cat like eyes, her little snort when she laughs too much. I miss her scent, her voice, her clinginess. I miss her presence.
I miss my Nini.
If only I have my phone so I could communicate with Chaeyoung and ask how they are and some updates. Or just maybe talk with them, share all my experiences and ask for advice since Jennie and Chaeng already went through this.
I sighed once again. I feel so alone in this foreign land. I have no one but the company of strangers. Sorrounded by smiles which are unfamiliar to me.
Manager unnie was always on her phone, talking in a hushed voice and always keeping her distance from me. She's the closest thing that reminds me of home and yet, she's always away and busy.
Niki knew my scenario. She let me borrow her phone here and there, with such constant precaution from the watchful eyes of my guards.
However, even when I could use her phone, I couldn't even contant the three. I never memorized their contact numbers so I couldn't reach out to them.
I can't even ask the guards nor unnie since she'll probably see right through it. The only person I could contact right now is my mom.
I tried asking her for help but she doesn't have their numbers too. She was too shy to ask it from me or from them. But atleast I get to talk to her and update her with what's happening with my life now.
How many sighs will I have just for this day?
I was currently laying down on my hotel bed when I heard three knocks on my door.
I lazily sat down, thinking if we arranged plans today but I couldn't think of any. I groaned when she knocked again.
"I'm coming!" I yelled as I lazily stood up from my position and slowly walked towards the door.
"What're you-"
She pushed past me and jumped on my bed while snuggling my pillows. Her head burried in them, too.
"I lsdsk phsjs, Lssha."
I rolled my eyes at her as I closed the door. "Raise your head, Niki. Couldn't understand you."
She looked up from me then mouthed, "What?"
I sat on my bed and leaned on the bed rest. "Your words were garbled up. What did you say?"
She said a low "Ahh" before facing me, "I said, I lost my phone."
"You did what?!"
"Calm down, bruh. They're already looking for it and erased all the files in there by the help of some tech guy, I think."
I massaged my temple as the sudden throb on my head. "You freaking lost your phone and you're still calm. Are you high?"
She smacked my arm, her way of saying shut up. "I am not. However, if I keep worrying about it, will it magically appear out of nowhere?"
"No..."
"Will it magically solve all my problems?"
I shook my head again.
"Then, why would I dwell on the past when there's nothing I could change?"
I smiled a little as I saw her mature side once again. "You amaze me sometimes, Niki."
She scoffed playfully and dismissed me with her hand. "Oh please, if you're going to be cheesy, wake me up when you're done."
She closed her eyes and a few moments later, she was already off to dreamland. She stink of beer and barbecue.
I guess she had a good night last night.
Why would I dwell on the past when there's nothing I could change?
Do not dwell on the past, Lisa. It's time to move on once again.
I hope that's easy as she makes it appear to be.