I just want to say sorry for the long wait on this chapter but i did indeed make it longer to make it up tp y'all. Also anyone recommend any songs that i could start adding to these chapters? Just comment some here if you have any suggestions. Also this chapter will be going back & forth between Cassie and Noah's pov.
Enjoy & as usual like + comment, love y'all :))
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Cassie:
"Go out the back" i rush my words.
"What... why? Josh breaths."I don't understand"
"Please.. just hurry, it's john" i whisper loud enough for him to hear.
Josh forms an 'o' shape from his mouth as realisation hits him. Josh was never a big fan of John, John was always so rude towards him whenever i brang him over when we were younger and if John sees me with a boy inside our- his house, god knows what he would do to me or worse him.
My step- John is back from his business trip, why couldn't he just go away forever? The sound of the front door slamming shut and hard footsteps fill the atmosphere of the large house.
I've managed to reach my bedroom locking the door behind me while Josh messages me letting me know he made it out and is now waiting for an uber down the street.
I huff out a breath I didn't even know i was holding in and slump over my queen sized bed. I listen closely as John makes his way up the stairs with a female voice following him which surprises me. Their laughter fills the halls and their harsh footsteps find their way to Johns room. The sound of his bedroom door slamming shut reliefs me.
He has a lady friend with him. Is this why he hasn't been visiting my bedroom in a while? I'm more than grateful he met someone, this means less hell for me but the stinging feeling in my chest increases, how am i going to face him tomorrow knowing what he's done to my mother? Am i gonna let him get away with it just like him raping me? Or am I actually going to do something for a change? I don't have a clue. As much as i want too, the fear seems to always take over. If he's capable of killing my mother, the possibility of me opening my mouth will only put my own life in jeopardy, or worse my friends. He's threatened me before using Kalani against me, that thought alone is more than frightening.
My thoughts spiral in fear and confusion.my head aches in pain from all this intense thinking, I need to get some rest.In my exact position i close my eyes shut, forcing myself to sleep. With the hope of my life is all nothing but a nightmare, reality always seems to bite back at me. Yet some how my dreams flood of Noah.
***
I'm waken up by the smell of fresh eggs, steaming bacon and a hint of burning I'm guessing from the Toast. John is cooking? That's impossible he'd usually call me to cook for him, or maybe he hired another maid. Who knows.
I stretch my body out causing myself to fall of my soft bed and onto the hard wood floor. Ouch. I get up hastily, when my feet touch the cold floor, goose bumps pop up all over my body. I enter my bathroom to wash the sleep from my face and brush my teeth. I look around my room and immediately begin to hate it. The once charming brick wall has been stained from blood too many times to count from when i tired to resist John which leads me to bleeding, The books on my shelves have been witnesses to Johns assaults against me, the pages have soaked up many tears coming from me. A image of John first entering my room is imprinted on the hard wood floor. This room and place is no longer the treasure to me it once was, these walls now hold memories of sadness and betrayal, Not only John's, but Lilith as well.
My stomach begins to grumble egging me away from my dark thoughts and the smell off freshly cooked food filling the house urges my mouth stomach more. My throat is lined with sandpaper and aches for water making me scurry down the stairs reaching the kitchen.
My eyes widen at the sight, a short middle aged woman is standing behind the counter cracking eggs into a large bowl, wiping the excess of her fingers onto the red apron she has placed on herself. Her jet black hair is tied up with loose strands covering her face, as she makes eye contact with me. I'm greeted with her big betty Grey eyes, her smile widens as she scans me.
"Morning" she smiles.
"Morning" i whisper before sitting on a stool apposite of her.
She's the lady john had over last night I'm sure. She's not what I expected, her voice almost sounds like my mother and i find myself compelled in hearing her voice again. I know it's weird but she really does have the same sweet innocent tone my mother had.
"Breakfast will be ready in a few" she speaks breaking me from my thoughts. My eyes scan her every move. Her gentle movements distract me, she tries not to make much noise while cleaning up every little mess she makes in the process of preparing our food. They must have done shopping because last time i checked i ate all the food and now that I'm thinking about it i feel Kinda guilty.
"Do you need any help" i offer.
"No it's okay I'm nearly done, but Thank you though hun" she smiles at me.
I smile at her my head leaning on the palm of my hands, with my the hard counter supporting my elbows. I turn my head to look for John, I'm more than nervous about seeing him well scared mostly. As i peer back to the woman she's staring at my confused features.
"Your father-
"Step father" i cut her off. "Sorry" I murmur looking down.
"Right, well your step father will be joining us in a minute, he's just washing up, we made a mess last night. I hope we didn't wake you"
I scrunch my face as she mentions hers and Johns activity's last night, I definitely didn't need to hear that. Her face lights up creasing up in opposed laughter. "Sorry i meant we spilled some wine and knocked over some furniture and Johns cleaning it up" she smiles.
"I'm Lacey" she greets me. "Cassie" I respond smiling.
"I know" she continues to mix her ingredients into the large bowl in front of her.
My thoughts go back to her mentioning of John cleaning. John cleaning? Did i hear that right? Okay this has to be a sick joke. Are they both playing with me? because frankly I can't believe any of this is happening. My eyes are full of shock and yet she does nothing nor says anything but laugh to herself while plating our food.
John enters the kitchen clearing his throat, My body stiffens and eyes shoot down at the counter as his presence gets closer to me and i shoot up while sitting up right. I pull the sleeves down covering my arms and attempt to adjust my sweats in hopes of covering any revealing skin, Lacey notices my actions but gets caught off guard as John hovers behind her, He places on hand on her shoulder and looks down at her smiling. She clears her throat taking in his gesture then allows him to kiss her cheek. For some reason I can't shake the unsettling rustle in my stomach. I feel like a stranger here now, I've always felt like one but now i know I'm really sure.
"Mmmm smells delicious" john rubs her shoulders while slowly kissing her cheek.
"Go sit down now will you" she playfully nudges him off.
"Anything for you beautiful" he places a kiss on her neck.
With the unsettling feeling in my stomach increasing.I'm shocked really but tears are daring to escape from the view of John, A living, putrid, evil person whom i hate more than anyone or anything in this world comes to sight. His eyes narrow at me as if he's trying to stab me through his eyes, I look back down at my intertwined fingers.
"Set up the table Cassie" he speaks to me with little to no emotion, it was more an order than a suggestion which I'm used to.
I hastily get up and rush around the table setting up, neatly placing the expensive cutlery on the table next to the expensive china plates. My eyes don't reach any of the two presences in the room with me, i play off as if I'm alone and finish setting up. I sit down at the very end off the extended table as Lacey places the food in front me, rubbing my back as a kind gesture.
Johns and Lacey sit themselves down and begin eating while applying small talk, Lacey tries to involve and encourage me to join their conversation but i just nod in agreement then full my mouth of food as a excuse to not speak.
Lacey then proudly explain how her and John met and When they started dating. They met at one of Johns companies, she was a secretary and John had shown her sweet gestures alongside with flowers and chocolates, he asked her out months ago and they've been dating since. It all makes sense now, why he stopped visiting my bedroom, although he stopped, the pain and horror still seems to haunt me but now that he's done worse, just seeing him kills me each time. John and i have been silent most of the conversation, it almost feels as if Lacey is talking to herself.She must see through the thick layer of tension between me and John, if she's trying this hard.
Lacey being here gives me a boost of hope and faith. Finally someone is willing to look after me instead of torturing me. This time will stay out of my bed all thanks to Lacey. I pray I'm not wrong about this, but then again when have i ever been lucky?
***
Noah's pov:
With Cassies avoidance it gives me time to actually get my head around why i was hanging around her a lot. I'm glad she's keeping her distance i need this and besides she's a prude. I'm just curious in why she was crying but then again she's always fucking crying damn. Girl needs to handle her damn emotions cause I can't fucking handle them.
I hop in my car ready to hit the gym too clear my head and all that shit, i pull out my drive thru waving my mom off and wipe the sloppy kiss she left on my cheek before i left. After getting a text from Trevor to meet him and Liam, my two dip shits of friends at A burger joint place, i head that way.
I turn the music up in my car and roll the window down. When i was younger, i used to think people were fucking show offs when they blasted their music from their car windows, but now i get it. Sometimes i just want to drown out the world around me and music and hitting a boxing bag are the only things that do that for me. Silence doesn't help, noise does.
"What took so long?" Trevor takes a bite from a hamburger, half the toppings fall onto the plate in front of him.
"Your mum" i sit down next to Liam in the booth. Trevor throws a piece of lettuce at me but misses horribly. Dumbass.
A server appears and hands me a water i ordered. I finish half the glass of water, trying not to think about Cassies mouth on mine. What the fuck? She's probably with that scrawny blonde kid josh. That thought alone makes my blood boil.
"Where the fuck have you been lately" Liam pulls me out my thoughts while eating his fries off his plate.
"Gym mostly, why? Do you miss me or sum" i scold him. He playfully rolls his eyes.
"So does gym mean Cassie jones?" He smirks. He better not be testing me, I'm here to not think about her and this stupid head ass had to mention her name. Fucking prick.
"You already lost the bet, so why you be hanging with that weirdo" Liam laughs shoving more fries down his throat, I'm considering shoving a hammer down his throat. My jaw clenches and i tighten my grip on the glass almost shattering it as he calls her a loser, she's not entirely a Loser.
"Cassie's hot but She fucks old men and i don't fuck with that saggy sack shit" Trevor speaks. Sometimes i wish he wouldn't and would just shut the fuck up.
"She doesn't and she never did" i defend her. They both look at me and nod. "Rumours spread quicker than Hoes legs" i say hinting at Lilith.
"So you hit yet" he raises his eyebrows. Stupid eyebrows, i should rip the hairy things of his virgin face. Shocking to know that one of my boys are a virgin,Simply because his dumbass don't have game and his head ass believes in love. Of course he fucking does.
"You hit anyone? Ever?" He doesn't reply. "Thats what i thought." Liam looks down at his plate as Trevor bursts out in laughter making his food fall from his mouth.
"Well whats new" Liam finally talks after I roasted his ass.
"Lilith stopped putting out" Trevor sighs. Since when were those two fucking? Not that i care, just i fucked her too and thats sum weird shit sharing her around and since when did Lilith stop sleeping around? Now that's some crazy ass shit.
"Couldn't care less about her, she was nothing but a worthless fuck" i huff.
An hour passed as we talked about typical boy shit and ate our food. I sat at the table as they both left, they offered me to go with them but I wasn't in the mood, Those two fuckers are annoying but they cool i guess. A few moments have passed and i still find myself thinking of Cassie, Fuck this I'm going to the gym.
****
Cassies pov:
"Lacey will be living with us from now on" John announces, i act surprised although I'm really not. I just pray she doesn't end up like my mother, Lacey simply doesn't deserve it, Frankly nobody does. Lacey smiles at me and i smile back, My life just took a turn drastically, Everything's happening so fast.
I nod in approval towards John still avoiding eye contact.
"Is it okay if i head to the library? I have exams coming up" i mumble towards John, staring down at my toes.
"Yeah sure whatever" he looks at Lacey adoring us before looking back at me.
"Take the Tesla, we staying in today" he proudly says. I wish we were poor so he'd learn the real value of money and what it means to other people in need. But i can't shake off Why he is being so nice to me? I swear he's putting on a show for Lacey, i hope shes not too naive to believe it, i hope she's strong enough to see pass it.
"Be home before dinner sweetie" Lacey says. I look back at get weirdly, don't get me wrong i like her but i still just met her meaning i still don't know her and her intentions.
I nod and rush up the stairs before entering my room, i pick up my phone before ringing Noah, but he doesn't answer. I try again but no answer. I pull off my sweats and put some black tights on and a sweatshirt and put my old school vans on.
I grab my books off of my desk and scurry down the stairs. I wave off Lacey while John nods not acknowledging my presence and hop into johns Tesla, he let me use. I drive carefully towards Noah's home. I haven't seen him in a while and I'm sick of wondering what we are or what we are doing.
I drive slowly as his house comes in vision, the nerves slightly creep in, i put the car in park and get out slower than I intended too. What if he kicks me out? Or doesn't want to see me?
I ring the doorbell then step back from the door, I don't know what I'm expecting really but just seeing him could ease a little of my pain. I wait a few moments which felt like forever when suddenly his mother opens the door, Lisa.
"Cassie? What a surprise" she squeals.
"Hi Mrs perkens-
"Mamacita please call me Maria" she cuts me off. I smile at her.
"Is Noah here?" I look behind her in hopes of seeing him.
"He's at the boxing place"she puts her fingers on her chin as she tries to figure the name out. "Ohh the gym down on maple street" she clicks her fingers.
"Ohkay, Thank you. It was so nice seeing you again Maria" i smile and nod at her.
"Your welcome here anytime hun" she nods in return. I turn back around slowly and run towards my car, maybe i can still catch him there if not then i can always talk to him tomorrow, if John lets me go.
I raced towards the gym not giving time to think about what I'm going to say to him, maybe when i see him the words will come to me, well i sure hope they do. I reach the building, entering it and being greeted by unfamiliar faces, i look upon the board place at the reception and scan until i see the boxing classes, all classes are over except for a reserved room and looking at the board i know for a fact that reserved room is where Noah is.
I mentally praise myself as i reach the room, i was right Noah is in here.
Noah's back is facing towards me, the hard muscles straining under his tanned skin, as he punches the large black bag hanging from the ceiling. With black tape concealing his knuckles, a loud thud follows his movements as he repeats with the other fist. I watch as his actions repeat, he looks so frustrated, and hot, and sweaty, and i can barely keep my mouth closed. Both his fists collide with the bag with such fluidity, it's an appealing view the way his skin is shining from being covered in sweat, his chest and stomach looks slightly different than before, more defined and toned. The rope attached to the ceiling looks as if it will snap from Noahs aggression and harsh hits. My mouth is incredibly dry and my thoughts are drowsy as i watch him and listen to his angry groans as he assaults the bag. I don't know if it was the small breath that fell from my lips at watching him or if he simply noticed my presence, but he immediately stops his movements and turns around.
Noah pov:
I turn around and find the beautiful girl I can't stand because she makes my thoughts spiral with uncertainty and other shit. It's Cassie. I feel a tight knot constricting around my chest as i meet her uncertain eyes, She smiles shyly at me. I try my best to return the smile, but now that's shes in front of me, I can't stop imagining what it would be like to kiss her again. I step aside and gesture for her to come in the large room, averting my eyes.
She hugs her clasped hands to her chest as she cautiously walks in, her sharp eyes catching the frayed edges of the curtain, the scuff marks on mats below our feet, the large boxing bags around the room and of course the incredibly heavy weights placed on the weight racks. Please don't tell me she's here to talk about feelings.
"Hey" she finally looks at me.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I question, I'm hovering over her and already her breathing is hitch, i like how she can't act around me.
"To talk" she breaths. "About this" she points between me and her, fuck.
"What about this?" I ask, unwrapping the tape from my hands.
"It's confusing" her hands fly in the air
"Not really" i throw the tape in the bin behind her, she steps back giving me way.
"I don't want to be the girl you can toy around, You can't just kiss me whenever you feel like it, it's not right!" She raises her voice.
"Can't help it if you kiss me back" i smirk, i k ow it's killing her
"I'm sick of this all of it, it's clear we don't want the same thing, and if we aren't on the same page then, this all has to stop" she drops her hands to her sides.
"What do you want, I don't date remember" i huff, rubbing my temples.
"Yes I remember Noah! I remember clearly!" She's practically shouting, i guess i kinda deserve it.
"Is that all?" I say. I didn't want to say that, I want to mold our lips together and tell her I'll be everything she wants and needs me to be, but i know deep down I'll fuck up and hurt her, it's who i am.
Her face is in horror and her eyes are glossy as if she's going to cry, fuck. I can barley handle it when she cries but not that i made her cry i feel... fuck I don't know but it's an ugly feeling.
"Look Cas, i'm not prince charming ok? What did you expect, I'd change then be with you? Cassie i do nothing but treat you like dirt, why do you always run back to me" i say, it's a question I've been dreading to ask, it's true though. Every little fight we have and whenever i say something harsh to her the minute i touch her skin it's like she forgets about it And comes rushing back, shes fucking crazy and confusing.
"Because i see good in you, i have faith in you. I hate that i have feelings for you but I can't help it." She basically cries. Wait she has feelings for me? I mean i sort off had a feeling but I thought i felt more than what she was feeling.
"But it's clear now, you don't feel the same way and i should of expected that. Look where having hope leads me" she wipes her eyes using her wrist. Thats the thing i do feel the same way i just don't want to hurt her, even though I'm hurting her now. Fuck.
"Cassie"
"I understand now, I'll leave you alone and you can leave me alone now too, you got what you wanted. Action right?" She cuts me off, can she let me speak damn.
"See you around" she turns her heel in attempts of leaving, but i pull her arm back so she's facing me
"Cassie for the love of god shut up, i have shit i want to say too" i cut her of, "sorry" I murmur.
Her eyes meet mine again, but it's different. You can see the pain in her eyes and it's killing me inside.
"You don't know how i feel ok?" I breath. "Cassie, even if we try this" i point between me and her. "I'll hurt you" i huff.
"I'm not using you for your body if that's what you think" i breath. "If I'm being honest, I can't stop thinking about you" I quickly stop myself, why am i telling her this?
"You think about me?" She asks, with a nervous curiosity drawn in the crease between her eyebrows.
"I . . ." I feel my cheeks get warm and awkwardly rub the sweat from my forehead. Why do i feel so embarrassed? "I guess."
"What are you trying to say Noah?" She questions, her wary eyes are full of curiosity.
"I . . . Fuck it, come here" with that being said pull her to me and push myself against her kissing her, getting a taste of every inch of her lips, the taste I've been wanting and needing. My whole body ignites.
***
Cassie pov:
Noah's lips mold to mine and my hand travel to his back, if this is his answer for being with me I couldn't have said it any better. His narrow hips grind on mine and a whimper escapes my lips. He swallows my gasps as his lips trace mine.
"Oh Cassie, the shit you do to me and make me feel" he whispers into my mouth. His words unravel me and i reach for his large shoulders, his hands travel from my cheek, to my chest, to my stomach. He pushes me back onto the wall The thick fabric of my sweatshirt concealing the goose bumps forming on my skin. His hand moves to the small space between our bodies where my legs are parted and i gasp as he rubs gently on the lace of my tights. He applies a little more pressure and i groan and arch my back off the wall.
No matter how angry or upset he makes me, one touch from him and i am under his control.
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