1 week later
Jada sat in the doctors office patiently waiting for the nurse to call them. Today's was JoJo's 4 month check up. Jada checked her phone for the 3rd time in 10 minutes. It read 1:37pm. She would of thought Elijah would of been here earlier but she guess not, he seemed very forgetful when it came to remember important dates that involved their son. She don't see how he forgot since he came to get JoJo a few days ago and she had Liah remind him. Liah was currently playing middle man since Jada didn't want to even be in the same room as him. But that's typical Elijah. It was as if Josiah wasn't important to him.
***
Jada's phone rung. She rolled her eyes hard as she got into the drivers seat buckling her seatbelt.
"What!" Jada yelled into the phone. She quickly looked in her rear view mirror at a sleeping JoJo.
"Yo who the fuck you yelling at?" Elijah said.
"You nigga! You wasn't here AGAIN! I'm sick of your shit! " she said growing angry. Silence took over the phone. Elijah sighed.
"Shit, I'm sorry Jada. I swear I forgot" he said sounding upset but Jada wasn't buying it. She was tired of his inconsistent in their sons life.
"How you forget? He's your fucking son. I don't care if it's a simple doctors appointment . You said you'll be there but never show up. Don't say your gonna do something and don't. You're allowed to forget shit but I can't!" Jada yelled into the phone.
"Yo I said I fucking forgot!" He yelled becoming angry.
"Fuck you! You forget anything that involved him! You begged for him for years." Jada paused as she let out a cry. She shook her head as she let out a heavy breath. She hated how he always broke her down.
"You-you begged for him but now that he's here you act like you don't want shit to do with him. I fucking hate you" she cried. The line was silent for a few seconds. Elijah was upset that she would ever think, yet say that shit to him.
"You twisting my words. I ain't never said I ain't want him...WHY YOU TWISTING MY FUCKING WORDS!" Elijah said becoming angrier.
"You don't have to say shit Elijah! Actions speak louder than words! You forget simple doctors appointment but you never forget a drug delivery or pickup." She said. The line was silent. She was waiting for him to say something...anything, but he never did. Elijah held the phone to his ear feeling low, because she was right.
"Get your priorities straight...I-I have to go" she said before hanging up.
***
1 week later
ELIJAH POV
I sat on the edge of the bed. Looking down at my hand as I squeezed the tip of the cigarette. It tasted nasty but it was one of the many things that calmed me. It felt like everything in my life was slowly going down hill. Me and Jada relationship was over, I'm trying to be a father but don't know how to. I know you learn as you go and I applaud Jada but I can't seem to get the hang of it. I want to be in my sons life, but it seems like I'm no good. I'd rather keep my distance for a little while. My phone rung. I was thinking it was Jada but it was my mom. I quickly answered.
"Hey Mama...you ok?" I asked as I stood up stretching.
"Hey, yes I'm ok. Just tired and in a little pain. Nothing I can't handle." she said a little out of breath. I was silent because I could hear the pain in her voice. I haven't told anyone this besides Jigz, but my mom has Brain Cancer. She found out a month after my son was born. As soon as she told me I was on the next plane to Texas. She found out because she kept having bad headaches and went to the doctors thinking it was nothing and found out she had a tumor the size of a golf ball. That shit really fucked up my head and I damn near lost it.
When you think cancer you think death and that shit had me spazzing. I didn't even want to even think about losing my mother. Just the thought of that made me want to do some reckless shit. The shit been eating at me for awhile. But she tries to always assured me she is fine because she knows how I get but deep down I know she's not ok. Last months, I went to Texas to visit her and damn near lost her it when I saw here. All her hair was gone because she was going through Chemo. She still looked the same but I could see the small changes. All her hair was gone and she was a little thinner. I was upset that she was keeping some shit from me, but she said she didn't want to worry me.
She said she didn't want her issues interfering with me enjoying the beginning stages of fatherhood. I told her it wouldn't, but it ultimately did. I wanted to stay with her but her and one of my Aunts that I actually got along with, assured me that she would be fine. But every week I would fly down to Texas and stay two days and fly back home without Jada's knowledge. I wanted to tell Jada but never found the right time because she was always busy taking care of JoJo. I was going through a lot and I was in pain, I was slowly watching my mother slip away. I wanted someone to talk to and I wanted someone to comfort me and take my pain away. So I found comfort in the next best thing, Nana.
I'm not gonna say it was a mistake, because if it wasn't....I wanted to do it but in the end regretted it. Nana was there, she listened. That's all I wanted was someone to listen...but she ended up becoming more which I regretted, but the past is the past. As for that picture of me and Nana, that was taking by one of her sneaky ass friends. I made the girl delete it but I forgot to make her delete it from the recently deleted album. I blame myself, I should of never been cheating so I deserve everything that went down. This shit with my mom has been fucking with my mental, I try not to think about it but can't help but too. In the beginning I would use coke as a way to forget shit but I stopped because it was starting to take a tole on my body. I just want everything to go back to normal. I haven't been myself in months. And I'm scared of the person I'm becoming.
***
A few hours later...
Elijah was awoken out of his sleep by his phone ringing. It was 12:30am and he was hoping whoever was calling would give up but they never did . He cleared his throat as he looked at his phone seeing it was Jigz.
"Yoo" Elijah said as he put the phone to his ear.
"E, JoJo in the hospital. He-" before Jigz could even finish his sentence, Elijah hung up and was already out of bed grabbing his sneakers. He grabbed his hoody and keys and ran out the house.
***
Elijah came charging in the hospital rushing towards the front desk.
"Where's my son? His name is Josiah-"
"E" Jigz called out. Elijah looked over his shoulder spotting Jigz and Liah. Liah was seated holding a sleeping Amaza.
"What happened?" Elijah asked breathing heavy as his eyes watered. He was thinking the worst. Jigz places his hand on Elijah shoulder.
"He fine man. Calm down" Jigz told him as he embraced him. Elijah let out a little whimper as he felt his legs get weak. Jigz held onto him as he got his strength back.
"Yo calm down. He's ok. He's ok." Jigz assured him. Elijah nodded his head and wiped his eyes.
"Where's my son man?" Elijah asked.
"Come on, I'll bring you to his room" Jigz said.
***
Elijah looked through the little glass window on the door. Jada's head was rested on the bed and her hand was placed on his JoJo's stomach. JoJo had an IV connected to his arm. Elijah opened the door and fully stepped into the room. Jada slowly lifted her head up when she felt someone's presence. Her face soften when she locked eyes with Elijah.
"Is he alright? What happened?" Elijah asked as he stepped closer to his son bedside.
"He's fine now. The doctors said he has asthma." Jada said as tears fell from his eyes.
"He was wheezing, his lips turned purple and he couldn't breath" Jada cried. Elijah stood her up and wrapped his arms around her as she cried harder. Jada clinched his hoody.
"I didn't know what to do because I was so scared. I was so scared....I thought he was going to die." She cried into his chest.
"Shhh don't say that. He's fine now and that's all that matter." Elijah said as he comforted her. Her face was buried in his chest as he held her tight rubbing the back of her neck like he always did whenever she would cry. They was quickly interrupted by a nurse knocking and opening the door.
"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt" the older white lady said as she held papers in her hand. Jada pulled away from Elijah and quickly wiped her eyes before speaking.
"It's fine. This is Josiah's father, Elijah" she said. The nurse gladly shook Elijah's hand.
"So he's doing fine, but he does have Asthma." The nurse said looking through her papers.
"I had Asthma as a child, and my dad still has it so it's probably genetic. " Elijah said. The nurse nodded.
"Yes it is genetic so he inherited that from the paternal side." the nurse said nodding as she looked at Jada who still looked frightened. The nurse went on about what to do if he has another asthma attack and gave them some medication. Jada signed the discharge paper and Josiah was free to go.
"Can you pass me his diaper bag" Jada asked as she started changing Josiah's diaper. Elijah sat the diaper bag on the bed. He watched as Jada took out a diaper and the pack of wipes. She changed him as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Elijah just stood their watching her.
"What?" Jada said lowly as she redressed Josiah. She could feel Elijah eyes burning an hole in her.
"Um nothing..." he lowly said. Jada glanced up at him.
"You make it look so easy." He said. Jada slightly scrunched up her face because she was confused. He sensed her confusion so he spoke up.
"You make changing him...and being...a parent look so easy" he said. Jada stopped what she was doing and just stared at him. His eyes looked so....empty. She looked back down at a sleeping Josiah. She picked him up.
"It's not easy...it's the hardest thing I think I ever had to do...I'm not perfect at this, I'm learning as I go. I take it day by day. I just want to be the best mom. Because I really didn't have that." She said. She walked behind him to the chair where his car seat was. Elijah just stood there watching her as she placed him in the car seat and buckled him in. She was about to latch her arm to the car seat but Elijah grabbed it.
"I got it" He said holding the car seat. Jada slowly nodded as she grabbed his diaper bag.
"Where did you park?" Elijah asked as they made their way out the hospital.
"The ambulance brought us here" Jada said.
"You want me to bring y'allback? I don't feel right getting you an Uber" he said looking down at her. Jada shrugged.
"If you don't mind" Jada said.
"You know I don't mind...come on" He said leading her towards his car.
***
Elijah pulled up in the drive way and put his car in park. Jada looked ahead.
"Can I come see him tomorrow?" Elijah asked as he looked over at Jada. Jada looked at him and looked back ahead.
"Elijah he's your son just as much as he's mine, you don't have to ask me permission." Jada said lowly. Elijah just stared at her. She looked tired and drained of energy.
"You ok?" He asked. She nodded.
"Yes I'm just tired" she sighed. JoJo made a little whimper before he started crying. Jada giggled a little as she reached back placing his pacifier in his mouth.
"He's probably hungry." She said.
"I can feed him for you...well if you want me to" he said. Jada glanced at him than away.
"If you want to feed him you can Elijah. I only have four ounces in the fridge. I need to pump more so hopefully he'll be patient. Jada said glancing back at a wide awoken Josiah.
Jada lead the way inside. Elijah sat josiah car seat on the floor and sat in front of him on the couch. Josh eyes lit up when he saw Elijah. That warmed Elijah heart.
"Hey" Elijah said lowly as he unbuckled his son and picked him up. Elijah and JoJo just looked into each other's eyes. Elijah would chuckle every few seconds because of the facial expressions his son was making. He was honestly his twin. Elijah kissed his son repeatedly on the lips. Elijah was genuinely happy to be holding his son. This is the most peace he felt since finding out about his mother.
"I love you" Elijah told his son. Jada admired them as she came back with a warmed up bottle.
"Here, I'm about to pump." Jada said as she passed Elijah a burping blanket. Elijah nodded as he held Josiah in his arms, he placed the bottle to his mouth.
"I'm doing it right?" He question as he never took his eye off Josiah.
"Yea." Jada said before heading upstairs. Jada removed her shirt and bra and placed on an oversized shirt. After 10 minutes of unsuccessful pumping she gave up.
As soon as she came downstairs and JoJo spotted her he started crying.
"He drunk it all?" Jada asked Elijah nodded as he stood up passing JoJo to Jada.
"He probably still hungry." Jada said as she positioned him so he could latch. Elijah just sat back watching them. Not in a creepy way but he admired the bond that a mother and child shared. It made him think about his mom. Even though she wasn't his birth mother that could never break that bond they have. He wondered is she was in pain right now. Thinking about her had him feeling a little emotional.
He glanced up and to his surprise Jada was sleep. Her breast was still exposed and JoJo was just laying comfortable in her arms looking around. Elijah stood up and gently took him for Jada. He pulled down her shirt to cover her.
"Mommy sleep..." Elijah whispered to JoJo was was steady spitting up slop.
"I gotta burp you right?" Elijah said. JoJo gave him a small smile making Elijah chuckle. Elijah struggles at first but got the hang of burping him. After 10 minutes of him just staring at Elijah he finally fell asleep. Soon after Elijah fell asleep.
***
Jada eyes slowly fluttered opened. Her hand slowly went to her breast that was leaking.
"Shit..." she lowly said as she repeatedly blinked her eyes trying to clear her vision. She quickly jumped up when she realized Josiah was no longer in her arms. She quickly stopped in her tracks and let out a heavy breath. She instantly smiled when she seen the sight before her. She quickly grabbed her phone and snapped a picture.
Jada just stared at Elijah. She wanted to hate him but couldn't. She couldn't hate the person who gave her the best gift ever. But she disliked him, she hated the man he was becoming. She wanted to question why, or rather what's been making him act so distance...so disrespectful. She prayed it wasn't drugs. The way he has been acting the last few months is not the Elijah she fell for. He seems so out of it. Yesterday when she looked him in his eyes, she didn't see the spark that made her heart melt every time. She saw emptiness. Sadness.
***
Sorry for any mistakes. And they aren't getting back together in the next chapter so don't think that lol
To those who didn't know, I released 2 sneak peeks of this chapter yesterday on my Instagram story, so if you don't follow me that sucks🤷🏾♀️😂 but I will be posting the sneak peek to chapter 12 this week so be on the lookout.
**INSTAGRAM: @KrazyKoolKeasia
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