I didn't sleep much that night.
After a lot of convincing, Bellamy had persuaded me to head back to the safety of our walls. As I walked back towards the camp, Bellamy's arm wrapped tightly around me, I couldn't help but notice the dozens of sympathetic stares I was met with. I did my best to ignore them. These were the people who tried to offer my brother up to the Grounders, and they now had the audacity to act like they were sorry.
When we made it back to mine and Octavia's tent, it was empty. I wasn't sure where she was, I assumed she was with Lincoln. For the first time in the last two years, I was happy to have the room to myself.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Bellamy asked as he watched me kick off my boots.
I nodded as I peeled his jacket off, handing it to him before sitting down on my bed, "I'm sure." I muttered, not bothering to look up at him.
He let out a sigh as he stared at me for a moment, wanting to say something, but it seemed he couldn't find the correct words. "Come get me if you need anything." he finally said, not waiting for a response from me before he left.
The minute he was gone, and I was alone in the tent, new emotions hit me. I was angry at the Grounders, at Clarke, at life. As anger consumed me, I allowed my eyes to travel down to the sleeves of my shirt-they were covered in blood.
I ripped off the shirt, firing it across the room, leaving me in only a tank top. Without the shirt, I could see the blood on my hands.
I pushed myself off my bed, not bothering to put my boots back on as I marched through camp towards our water basin. I received more stares as I stormed past everyone, ignoring their confused glances.
The minute I made it to the basin, I shoved my hands in the water, aggressively scrubbing them, trying to rid myself of my brother's blood . This was the second time I had cleaned my hands of his blood, but unlike the last time, I knew he wasn't going to be okay.
"Avery-"
"What?" I snapped harshly, spinning around to see a surprised looking Abby Griffin. She was at a loss for words as she saw the expression on my face. I took this as a chance to return to cleaning my hands.
The anger inside me continued to boil until I was at my complete and utter breaking point. So, when Abby spoke again, I broke.
"Sweetheart, just come inside. It's cold out here and-"
I spun back around to face her, to face everyone, "No. Stop acting like you care. All of you," I growled, my eyes travelling over the group of shocked camp members. "You all wanted my brother dead, you wanted to give him up to the Grounders. So, are you happy now? He was a kid and you did this to him. Instead of protecting him, you all just turned on him. So just cut it out!" I screamed, my eyes filling with tears as my face grew hotter and hotter, "Stop acting like you care, like you're sorry he's gone. Because, as far as I'm concerned he's dead because of all of you."
Everyone was speechless as they stared back at me. Some still wore sympathetic looks on their faces, other's looked at me like I was crazy. No one moved, except for a single individual making their way hastily through the crowd.
"Let's go." Bellamy whispered, grabbing a hold of me once he was close enough, "That's enough for tonight.
My jaw was clenched as I pulled my arm out of his grasp, quickly bringing my hand up to my face to wipe the tears, "I'm fine." I muttered, refusing to look Bellamy in the eyes.
"No," he whispered, bringing his face close to mine as he grabbed either side of my shoulders, "You're not fine. You need to go to bed."
I finally looked up at him, my tired eyes meeting his own. My body broke down in sobs as I fell into him. He held me close as I cried, eventually lifting my feet off the ground, opting to carry me back to my tent.
As he set me down in my bed, he turned to leave. However, before he could go, I reached out and grabbed his hand. "Can you stay?" I whispered, "Please."
Bellamy gave me a soft nod as he laid down beside me. He pulled me close to him, allowing me to burry my head in his chest.
"Go to sleep Avery." he whispered, and so I did.
-an-
hey guys, sorry this update is short, and sorry for the lack of updates. I have had a very busy and hard month. I lost my grandma and the start of june and lost my aunt a days ago. I have been pretty down and not very motivated, but I felt like writing a little something tonight.
im sorry if updates are not frequent but i just need a bit of time to recoup.
love you guys xoxo
maddy