I quickly decided that traveling through the vents was going to be too dangerous. Once the burglars got a good whiff of me, they would be able to track me down anywhere in the entire school just by the smell alone.
And if they found me, I'd be DEAD MEAT!!
Which would be a really BIG coincidence since I already SMELLED like rotting DEAD MEAT!!
I snuck out of the bathroom and quietly tiptoed down the hallway. . . .
SQUIRK! SQUIRK! SQUIRK! SQUIRK!
Every step I took made an annoying sound and left a very smelly trail of black muck behind me. I barely had time to duck behind a large plant when I spotted the burglars coming out of the school office in an adjoining hall.
Ralph was talking on his cell phone, but his face was pale and he looked like he'd just seen a ghost!
"Calm down, Tina!! Please, dear! I'm sorry! I completely forgot your mother was coming for dinner!" he sputtered nervously. "No! I wasn't trying to disrespect her! Listen, I'll wrap up this business meeting and be home soon, okay? . . . Yeah, I love you, too, sweetheart! Bye."
Ralph took out his hankie and wiped the sweat off his face. "I HATE it when Tina interrupts me when I'm trying to work!!" he grumbled.
"Your wife is EVIL, man!" Tucker laughed. "She's even SCARIER than you are!"
"Who's the big BABY now, huh?!" Moose snickered. "Ralph, you were SO scared, it smells like you just POOPED your pants!"
I couldn't help rolling my eyes! Actually, that SMELL was, um . . . ME!! I desperately fanned the air, trying to dissipate the foul odor.
"Just SHUT UP already, you NUMBSKULLS!!" Ralph barked. "I cut the phone lines, but we still need to find that kid! He's the only person who can identify us. We haven't searched the south wing yet. So, you two, get on it!"
THE SOUTH WING?!! I gasped! That meant Tucker and Moose were headed in my direction.
I took off running! SQUIRK! SQUIRK! SQUIRK!
I tried the boys' locker room, but the door was locked. DANG!! So I dashed across the hall and cautiously peeked around a corner as my heart pounded in my chest!
"Hey, Tucker! Did you hear that squeaking noise?! It might be the kid! Follow me!" Moose exclaimed as they both sped toward the sound.
I held my breath as Moose and Tucker came barreling down another hall in my direction.
They were less than twenty feet away when I heard . . .
It was RALPH! And he had blown a fuse!!
Apparently Moose and Tucker's order from Queasy Cheesy had been delivered.
Just in the nick of time, too. After hearing about their pizza order, the two men got distracted and ran right past my hiding place! WHEW! That was a close call!
But judging from how TICKED OFF Ralph sounded, I'd say they probably needed to KEEP running! Right out the nearest EXIT DOOR!
Anyway, there was so much yelling and cursing drama going on, it appeared that I was the least of their worries at that moment.
Which meant they'd be out of my hair for at least the next ten minutes and give me time to regroup and come up with another plan.
I sighed with relief and leaned against the door behind me.
Surprisingly, it was unlocked and swung open.
So I decided to go inside. . . .
"Yes, I know. I KNOW!! You're probably thinking . . .
DUDE, YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND!!
YOU'RE GOING INSIDE THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM?!!
THAT'S JUST WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!
Sorry! But I was finally going to be able to use the bathroom, thank goodness! I was so EXHAUSTED, so DESPERATE, and so SCARED . . .
I didn't even care!
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