Part 33
Evan’s POV
‘An empty room, I’m empty too
Everything just reminds me of you
So many things that I shouldn’t have missed
The more that I push and the more you resist
It’s easy to say it’s for the best
When you want more, well you leave me with less
I know you're fine, but what do I do?
I know you're fine, but what do I do?’
Someone was pounding on the door, interrupting my music. I groaned and wiped at my tear-stained cheeks before deciding it wasn’t worth it.
I flopped back down in the living room corner. I hadn’t moved from this place since they all left. I’ve just been sitting there, bawling and listening to ‘Fallout’ by Marianas Trench.
‘I’m awake and trying
While you’re sleeping like a baby beside him
I’m on the ledge, while you’re so
God damn polite and composed
And I know you see me and you’re making it look so easy
What comes and goes, I go without
I know you’re fine, but what about
(Fallout) fallout (fallout) fallout (fallout)
You're the fallout’
At least she wasn’t dating someone else.
Or maybe she was?
I cursed myself for being so unstable, then cursed myself again for the casual dismissal.
“Well now there’s him and now there’s me
The secrets you give and the secrets you keep
Nevertheless, it’s never your let
It’s more that I give and the less that I get
Don’t tell me to fight, to fight for you
After this long I shouldn’t have to”
Was she? Or wasn’t she?
I couldn’t think straight, and the frantic pounding on my door just made it worse. Each slam seemed to be driving a dagger into my mind, just adding rage to my gloom.
‘I know you're fine but what if I
(Fallout) fallout (fallout) fallout (fallout) fallout
Through the fallout
I know you’re fine, but what do I do’
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
I couldn’t take it.
“Jesus Christ! Just go away!” I screamed.
The pounding on the door went away, just as my iPod switched to another song.
‘No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore
It's your turn to take a seat
We're settling the final score
And why do we like to hurt so much?
I can't decide, you have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities, well I was wrong’
That’s What You Get by Paramore. What was wrong with my iPod!? Why was it only playing gloomy, heartbroken tunes!?
‘That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa’
I paused for a second, straining to hear is the crazed knocker had left and sighed gratefully when I heard nothing but Hayley’s somber lyrics. Finally, I could think.
‘I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here?
Cause I've burned every bridge I ever built, when you were here
I still try, holding on to silly things, I never learn
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard’
Okay, now I could figure this out. Was there any possible way Calista could’ve found another guy?
I mean, it wouldn’t be too surprising. She’s beautiful, smart, funny. Even her annoying-naïve-closed off side was simply perfect! But still, she couldn’t have found a guy that quickly. It’s been less than a day!
‘Pain make your way to me, to me
And I'll always be just so inviting (So inviting)
If I ever start to think straight
This heart will start a riot in me, let's start, start, hey!’
I stared at the large window on the other side of the living room. Cars were driving past, filled with people that had no idea how much pain I was going through. For them, it was just a normal day. For me?
For me, this was hell on earth.
I started to look away when I noticed a shiny black Audi driving towards the window. Not just in the direction of the window, but into the window.
It only took a second for my brain to kick in and I leapt out of the way in time to avoid being showered with knife-like glass.
The collision was earsplitting, glass and wood alike flew everywhere as the car continued to barrel through. I cowered further into a corner, both shocked, afraid, and burning with rage.
Finally, the car stopped in the middle of the living room, and I can honestly say it looked like a scene from a James Bond movie. The front of the Audi was so banged up that looking at it pained me, but other than that it was-surprisingly- still intact.
The driver got out and stood in the midst of the wreckage, almost bringing me to tears again. There, with her hair splayed across her face and her brown eyes twinkling, was Calista.
The song changed again, to ‘Your Guardian Angel’ by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and I almost laughed at how perfectly it encompassed this moment.
‘When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
Now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold
And it breaks through my soul and I know
I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one’
Calista barely even spared a glance at the room before speaking
“Get in,” she said in a monotone voice that sent shivers down my spine.
“Wait, what? What’s going on? Why did you bust a hole in the wall!?”
“Well you weren’t answering the door now were you. Now get in the car, I need you to do something.”
I stayed put, planting my feet on the ground as I frowned at her,
“What are you talking about?”
She froze, her back slightly arched as she finally looked me in the eyes,
“McKenzie is in trouble. I…I can’t save her alone so I need your help. Now get. In. The. Car.”
‘I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's ok
It's ok
It's okayayay’
Even though her face remained impassive, I could see the pleading and despair in her eyes, and that was almost enough to make me forget my plan and leap into the car.
Almost.
“I’m not going anywhere until we talk,” I said stubbornly, crossing my arms as I stared her down. For once, she stared right back at me before shaking her head and turning back towards the car.
“Fine, then I’ll do it myself then,” she uttered venomously, just loudly enough for me to hear.
Thinking fast, I grabbed onto her arm, preventing her from escaping. Calista flipped around to face me, her eyes flaring with anger.
“Let. Go.”
“No.”
“I said, LET GO!”she screamed, furiously yanking her arm this way and that. Still, I held on until her writhing got on my nerves and-in one swift pull- I turned her around so she was facing me with her arms pinned at her sides.
‘Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and
Stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one’
“I know you’re worried about McKenzie, and I am too. But I’m not leaving until you hear me out, and neither are you. So, even if it’s for her sake, just listen to me. Please,” I tried to remain assertive but my voice cracked at the end, giving away my insecurity. It might have been my imagination, but Calista’s eyes seemed to soften slightly for a moment before flaring back up.
“Evan, we don’t have time for this. We can discuss this later, even though there’s nothing to discuss,” she frowned, yet she didn’t struggle and that was enough to restore some hope.
‘I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
'Cause you're my
You're mine
My true love
My whole heart
Please don't throw that away’
“I made a mistake. Yes, in the beginning my goal was to kill you to become human. And, truth be told, I only wanted to do that so that I could kill myself! I hated my life, hated it with a passion you can never imagine. But that was before I met you.”
“Evan, I-”
“No. Listen. I need to say this,” I cut her off and took my hands off her arms to tilt her head up. She faced me hesitantly, her brown eyes gleaming with unshed tears.
“Calista, you changed me. I don’t want to die anymore, don’t you see? You gave my life meaning! You are my life’s meaning. Calista, you mean everything to me. The sad part is, I only realized that after I lost you. But now that it is actually worth something, I can swear on my life that I would never, ever do anything to hurt you.”
‘'Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay
Yeah
Waohohaoh
Stay
Woaohoh
Waohohoh
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning grey (grey)’
Calista looked at me for a moment longer, her eyes scanning my face. When she finally spoke, it was soft and hesitant, almost like a child who had been broken, “I trusted you Evan. I can’t just pretend that you never did anything,”
“I know,” I nodded sadly. “I know, and I regret that every single day. But I’m not asking you to forget the past, all I’m asking is for you to consider the future. Because I know that I can’t survive if you’re not in it. You’re my life. My heart. My soul. I…At least consider it. Please…” I trailed off at the end and looked away quickly, muttering curses under my breath as I realized I was tearing up. So not cool. This was definitely-
Before I could react, Calista had taken hold of my chin and turned my teary face so she could see it.
‘I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven'
The silence that followed lasted a lifetime. Filled with only me crying and Calista watching.
Finally, she turned away and nodded.
No words, only that one nod.
And that made all the difference.
“Now come on, McKenzie needs our help,” she whispered, her cheeks slowly turning pink. It’s only then that I realized exactly how much I’d confessed to her, and my forehead slowly began to turn the same color. Suddenly, my confidence and wonder with words was gone, replaced by a bumbling, nervous, idiot.
“Sure. I mean, yeah. I mean, let’s go. Definitely,” I stammered, as her face turned even redder. “Oh, and Calista? You…well…you wouldn’t happen to have another boyfriend…would you?”
She froze and faced me with such a condescending look that I felt like an idiot.
“Hell no! Why would you think that?”
“Huh? Oh. Just…making sure I guess,” I chucked awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck.
She shook her head, but I could see the faint hints of a smile tug at the corners of her mouth.
We both turned to face the car again and, silently, Calista slipped her hand into mine.
This was it.
We were ready to drive off into what could be the worst mistake of our lives. There were a million places I’d rather be, and yet I stayed. Why?
Honestly, I have no idea.
I gave her hand a small squeeze as we walked to the car, just as the song was ending.
‘I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven’'
***A/N Wowzers! That was a pretty long chapter! Am i right? :) Well, it's almost nearing the climax so look out! Also, i highly reccomend listening to every one of the songs in this chapter cuz they're AWESOME! I posted 'Your Guardian Angel' at the side (as i have decided it will be the official Calvan song ^w^) so you can hear that one right now.
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Peace, Love, and Coffie-Cake (I made some yesterday, but it was devoured in minutes. I only had one piece and it was a 24 piece cake... -_-')!
Aissa <3***