The next morning, Cas felt almost back to normal, but for the pain in his head, though not as strong as it had been the day before. He gave Gracie her breakfast and went for a shower. When he came out, Dean was in the kitchen grabbing a frying pan.
{Nice} Dean signed, grinning and indicating at Cas, only wrapped in a towel around his waist.
Cas blushed and pulled it tighter around himself.
{How do you like your eggs?}
'Uh - scrambled,' Cas replied, his brain feeling much the same way, and hurried back into his room to get dressed. He realised that he needed to do some laundry when all he had left to wear was the lumpy, grey sweater with a tomato sauce stain on it. He sighed and put it on, then went back out to the living room to the smell of cooking bacon.
Gracie was extremely interested, standing on the counter next to the stove. Dean was keeping her at bay by scratching the top of her head with one hand and flipping the bacon with a spatula in the other hand.
'I think she likes you,' Cas said.
Dean turned around and raised his eyebrows at Cas's sweater. {I think she likes the bacon} he signed, smiling at him. {You still need to go shopping}
{It's a shame. This was a nice sweater before I spilled tomato on it}
{I'm not so sure about that} Dean teased, before turning back to the bacon. He passed Cas his breakfast once it was finished and sat across from his chair on the couch again.
{I have a lot to do today, so I might not be able to come by the bakery}
{That's fine. You've done more than enough for me these last few days}
Gracie then jumped up onto the couch and curled up next to Dean.
{It's not the bacon} Cas smiled.
Dean grinned, little crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes, and gently pet Gracie.
They cleared up the dishes together, then left the apartment. Dean walked Cas to the bakery, where they found Alfie waiting outside.
'What are you doing out here?' Cas asked him, fiddling with the front door.
'I'm helping you out today,' he said. 'Since you're sick.'
'I'm not sick, Alfie,' Cas frowned.
Alfie just shrugged.
Dean tapped Cas on the arm. {I have to go. I'll see you later}
{Okay, bye, D-e-a-n} Cas signed with a smile.
{Bye, D-e-a-n} Alfie signed slowly, reminding them of when Cas himself had begun learning.
Dean waved and disappeared back around the corner to pick up his car.
'You don't have to do this,' Cas said to Alfie as they entered the shop.
'Sure I don't, but that doesn't change anything,' Alfie said, tying on his apron. 'Besides, I finished my latest commission last night and I need something to do until the next one.'
'In that case, I'm glad to be of service.'
They both went out into the kitchen and began working on that morning's food.
'How did yesterday go?' Cas asked Alfie, bringing out a large bag of flour.
'It went well,' Alfie told him, grabbing some baking trays from one of the cupboards. 'Sam was great on the counter. I'm not as good a baker as you, but I followed your recipes and they seemed to turn out okay.'
Cas nodded.
'And I took the leftovers to the homeless shelter as well.'
'That's great, Alfie, thank you, I appreciate it.'
They worked together in a comfortable silence for a while, kneading and rolling. Cas thought again about Gabriel and remembered he would be visiting later on. He glanced sideways at Alfie and bit his lip. Since Sam and Dean now knew, he didn't see any reason why Alfie shouldn't. He didn't think Alfie would react badly, considering the amount of time he'd spent with Charlie, but that didn't make it any easier. He took a shaky breath and, with a dry mouth said, 'Alfie, I'm gay.'
There was a beat of silence, then Alfie said, 'Oh,' mildly surprised.
'That's why- that's why Mom and Dad threw me out.'
Alfie nodded. 'That makes sense.' Then he looked at Cas with a horrified expression, realising what he had just said and quickly backtracked. 'That's not what I meant - I mean, obviously they shouldn't have - I don't think that at all-'
Cas started laughing, mostly in relief. 'It's all right, I know what you meant.'
Alfie laughed nervously. 'Thanks for telling me, Cas. It must be hard for you, since Aunt Emily and Uncle Charles are your parents.'
Cas shrugged. 'I think I'm feeling better about it lately.'
'Good.'
They carried on working, Cas tackling the bread and Alfie getting started on the cake batters.
'So...' Alfie said after a while. 'What about Dean?'
'What about him?'
'Is he...?'
'What? No. I don't think so.'
Alfie looked doubtful. 'Are you sure?'
'Yes.'
'I don't know... But you like him, right?'
Cas groaned. 'Come on, Alfie, not you too.'
'All right, all right. I'm gonna go get the coffee started.'
Alfie hung around until just after lunchtime, and was getting ready to go when Gabriel walked through the door.
'Alfie!' he exclaimed.
'Gabriel,' Alfie said warily, glancing behind him in case he'd brought Emily back with him.
'Don't worry, just me,' Gabriel said, correctly interpreting Alfie's expression. 'Where's Cas?'
'Cas, it's Gabriel,' Alfie called, keeping his eyes fixed on Gabriel.
Cas came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel.
Gabriel whistled at the large bruise on Cas's head. 'That does not look like fun,' he said, pointing at it.
'It's fine,' Cas said, brushing it off. 'Here, I made some food for you.' He pulled a small basket out from under the register and passed it to Gabriel. 'Are you going home soon?'
'Actually yeah, I'm going home tomorrow morning. I figure it'll be safe, since we talked and everything.'
Cas nodded. 'You could visit more often, if you wanted.'
Gabriel grinned. 'I'll text Alfie and make sure you know next time.'
'Fine by me,' said Alfie. 'Do you want a coffee before I go?'
'Sure.'
Alfie handed him a cup and then said goodbye.
Gabriel hung around for the rest of the afternoon, charming all the customers and getting sprinkles everywhere when he tried to decorate some cupcakes.
At the end of the day, Cas closed up and Gabriel hugged him tightly after he locked the front door.
'I'll see you soon, I promise,' he said.
'I'll try and be better with my phone,' said Cas. 'And, uh, let me know if Mom's free to talk maybe sometime next week.'
'Really?'
'Yeah, sure, why not?'
Gabriel's face lit up. 'Okay, yeah, I'll let you know. I'll set something up.'
'Okay. See you soon, okay?'
'Yeah, see you soon.' Gabriel grudgingly walked away and Cas made his way to the homeless shelter, where he dropped off his spare loaf of bread and a chocolate cake.
Once at home, Cas began stuffing his dirty clothes into a large canvas bag to take to the laundromat. The straps were a little long for him, so he struggled to pull it outside, having to yank it through backwards. It popped through the doorway, and Cas stumbled backwards and bumped into something that made an 'oof' sound. He spun around and there was Dean, looking extremely confused and rubbing his chest.
{What are you doing?} Dean signed.
'Laundry,' Cas said, heaving the bag off the floor where he'd dropped it. 'Why are you here?'
{I came to see you. I mean, I came to see if you were okay. I thought I would make dinner again}
Cas hadn't even thought about what he was going to do for dinner. 'How about after I do this?' he said, adjusting the bag.
Dean looked at it. {Give me that} he signed. {Clearly your little noodle arms can't handle it} He smirked and held his hand out for the bag.
Cas passed it over and Dean motioned for him to lead the way.
Once there, Cas got to work, separating his clothes and putting them into machines, hurriedly shoving in his underwear when Dean wasn't looking. He put coins in the machines and settled down on the bench in the middle of the room to wait.
Dean sat next to him, looking at the bruise on his head. {How is it today?} he asked, then reached out to brush it lightly with his thumb.
{It's not bad. It still hurts, but not too much} Cas shifted until he was sitting cross-legged on the bench, facing Dean. Then he noticed that Dean's eyes and cheeks were red and splotchy. {What's wrong?} he asked, alarmed.
{It's nothing} Dean signed, waving away his concern. {I had therapy earlier. It's tough}
{In a good way?}
{Yeah, in a good way} Dean looked around the room that was empty but for the two of them. He had an uncertain expression on his face and was lightly chewing his lip. {I have something to show you that I've been working on in therapy} He signed, avoiding Cas's eyes.
{What is it?}
Dean took a few deep breaths and checked the room was empty again. He cleared his throat and spoke two words out loud. 'Hello, Cas.'
Cas was stunned, sitting with his mouth slightly open in shock. Dean's voice was low and husky, and slightly hoarse from lack of use.
'I- wow - that's amazing, Dean.'
{I've been practising. You worked so hard to talk to me. I wanted to return the favor} Dean smiled briefly, and Cas pretended he didn't notice Dean's hands shaking.
{The therapy is going well, then?}
{Yeah, really well}
{I'm glad to hear that}
Dean smiled again, stood up and walked around the room, discreetly wringing his hands.
'Are you okay?' Cas asked.
Dean nodded, then turned back to Cas, looking him up and down.
'What?'
{Nothing}
{You're a terrible liar}
Dean rubbed the back of his neck, his smile growing wider. {I was wondering about your_}
{My what? I don't know that one}
Dean wrote on his notepad 'Tattoo' and showed Cas the sign again.
{Tattoo. You want to know about my-} Cas cut himself off and groaned, embarrassed.
{I saw it when you were - I saw it this morning}
{I can't believe you saw that}
{What is it exactly?}
Cas said nothing.
{I'll show you mine if you show me yours} Dean offered.
{You have one?}
{Sure} Dean pulled down the collar of his shirt and revealed a pentacle on the left side of his chest, made with simple black lines and surrounded by a halo of black flames.
Cas stared at it, forcing himself to focus on it and not the lines of Dean's collarbone.
{Our mom was into this stuff} Dean explained. {S-a-m has one too} Dean's face fell slightly, but he picked himself back up again with a shake of the head. {Your turn}
Cas sighed and got to his feet. He grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it just up his ribcage, to show Dean the tiny set of feathery wings inked into his side.
Dean moved closer.
'I got it just before I came here,' Cas told him, his breath becoming shallow as Dean lightly traced Cas's tattoo with a finger. 'I thought that if my parents wouldn't look out for me, then perhaps my namesake would.'
Dean's eyes were soft and sympathetic. He stopped tracing the tattoo and cupped it in his hand. The air between them grew warm, though neither of them dared take a breath and break the spell.
Cas dropped his sweater, but Dean's hand didn't move, holding Cas firmly in place. His heart was thumping so loudly that he thought Dean must be close enough to hear it, and electricity shot through him as he saw Dean's gaze briefly flick down. He hesitantly reached out, intending to grab Dean by the hips, but then the door to the laundromat opened and several children and their harassed-looking mother all piled into the room.
Dean dropped his hand and stepped back, watching the children scatter throughout the room, yelling at each other.
{I'm going to get dinner} Dean signed. {I'll meet you back at yours when you're finished here} He hurriedly exited the room.
Cas exhaled and sat heavily down on the bench again.
'Sorry, did we interrupt something?' the mother said, looking apologetic.
Cas shook his head but didn't say anything. Had they? His heart was still racing but now that Dean had left, he couldn't help but feel as though he'd imagined their entire encounter. He patted his pockets, hoping that this one time he hadn't forgotten his phone, and found it tucked all the way down in his back pocket. He held it in one shaking hand and dialled Charlie's number.
'Cas? What's going on?'
'Charlie, I'm so glad you picked up. Something just happened and I'm confused and very afraid.'
'Oh my God, are you okay? What happened? Should I call the cops?'
'No, Charlie, it's not that bad,' Cas said, grateful, for once, for Charlie's ability to overreact and put things into perspective. 'I just...'
'Oh, okay, I get it. There's a guy.'
'I- maybe... I'm not sure.'
'Is it Dean?'
'Charlie-'
'Is it?'
Cas sighed. 'Yes,' he admitted.
'Oh my God, you have to tell me everything - Wait! Let me get some Doritos first!'
'No, Charlie, don't get Doritos...' But it was already too late, and he could hear her opening and closing cabinets, looking for a bag. Eventually there was a rustling. 'Whenever you're ready, Charlie,' Cas grumbled.
'Okay,' Charlie said, voice muffled by the Doritos she'd just stuffed into her mouth. 'So, you like him, obviously. Why don't you just ask him out?'
'He's straight, well at least, I thought he was.'
'Elaborate please.'
'I-' Cas cast a glance around the room. The children and their mother were still there, so he lowered his voice. 'I think we almost just kissed. But I hit my head so maybe I was just imagining it. I don't know, Charlie.'
'You hit your head?'
'Yeah, I passed out yesterday and hit my head. I was in the hospital for a few hours, but I'm fine.'
'What the hell, Cas, you didn't call me? Is there something wrong with you, did they tell you?'
Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. 'There's nothing wrong with me besides the usual. My mom came to see me. It wasn't fun and then I forgot to eat for a while.'
'Your mom, seriously? How did she find you?'
'Gabriel brought her.'
'Son of a bitch. See, this is why you need to call me more often.'
'I know. Sorry.'
'Are you going back on your meds?'
'I don't know.'
'Do you think you need them?'
'I don't know.'
Realising Cas's reluctance, Charlie changed the subject. 'Anyway, anyway, back to Dean. You nearly kissed?'
'It seemed like, maybe... I don't know.'
'Come on, Cas, tell me already.'
'Well... He wanted to see my tattoo-'
'Your tattoo?'
'Yes, so I showed him and then he started touching it...'
'Dude, he was totally making a move. You don't touch someone's tattoo unless you're making a move.'
'Oh, is that the rule?'
'Duh. Then what happened?'
'Then he was close to me. Really close...'
'Uh-huh, then what?'
Cas heard her stuff more chips into her mouth. 'And then some children came in and he left.'
'Oh, lame. Still, that doesn't sound like a particularly straight encounter.'
'I don't know, Charlie...'
'I don't know why you're having so much trouble with this, it's not like you haven't done it before.'
Cas lowered his voice even further. 'First of all, I was extremely drunk all three of those times. I don't even remember the second guy's name,' he hissed. 'Second, this is not like that at all. I'm not just trying to hook up with someone.'
'Wow, serious business. Why are you whispering?'
'Those kids are still here.'
'So grab your clothes and go home. Come on, stop holding back on me.'
'I can't. Dean's there.'
'Wait, he's at your place? Why?'
'He wanted to make sure I was okay, so he's getting dinner.'
'Oh my - Cas - what the - how is this even a question?' Charlie stammered. 'The guy is getting you dinner. You're totally in there. Seriously. Get your clothes right now, go home, and ask the guy out. Jeez.'
'Charlie, I can't.'
'You can. He likes you. You like him. Sorry, but you gotta.'
'Charlie-'
'No, listen to me, Castiel, it has been way too long and you have to start living your life. I'm going to hang up this phone and you are going to call me in a couple of hours and tell me all about how you got this great guy to go out with you. I mean it. Talk to you later.' She did as she said and hung up, leaving Cas limply holding his phone in his hand.
'Damn it,' he muttered, tucking it back into his pocket.
Once his clothes were dry, he stuffed them all back into his bag, but stopped at the entrance, chewing on his lip.
'Here, let me get that for you.' The woman, who was still washing a load, held the door open for Cas, smiling politely.
'Thank you,' he stuttered, pulling the bag out the door with him. His legs carried him home and he stood outside the door, stomach churning. He took a deep breath and went inside.
Dean looked up and smiled as Cas fell through the door, tripping over his laundry bag.
{Good, you're home} Dean signed. {Come on, dinner's getting cold}
Cas forcefully closed the door and dragged his bag into his bedroom. He put the bag in the closet, deciding to put the clothes away later. A nervous sweat slicked his palms, but he was going to do it. He would ask Dean out. He went back out into the living room and saw Dean putting something on plates.
Dean pushed his notepad towards Cas. It said 'Mac and Cheese' and showed Cas the sign.
{It looks good} Cas signed. He picked up a plate, sat down and decided to ask after dinner.
Though it was delicious, Cas didn't manage to eat much of it, as nervous as he was.
{Are you okay?} Dean asked, noticing this. {Is your head hurting?}
Cas nodded, grateful for the excuse, although it was beginning to ache.
Dean took his plate and scraped the leftovers into a tupperware box, which he put in the fridge. {Your lunch for tomorrow} he informed Cas.
{Thank you} Cas stared at him, willing himself to say more, to ask, but his arms refused to move more. His mouth, too, remained clamped shut.
Dean was taking his time washing the dishes and putting them away, glancing up at Cas every so often. He fed Gracie, too, then dawdled towards the door. {I guess I'd better go} he signed.
Cas nodded, miserable in the knowledge that he wasn't brave enough. {Goodnight, D-e-a-n}
{See you tomorrow}
Dean finally left and Cas groaned loudly once the door was closed.
Not wanting to speak to anyone else, Cas texted I didn't do it, to Charlie.
Her text in response said You suck. I love you.
Cas said, I know. I love you too, then went to bed, closing the door a little harder than he meant to.