A/N: Have I ever gone into extreme detail about how must I strongly dislike internet explorer? Because I really don't like it. And guess what? This chapter is brought to you by internet explorer, so if it updates by christmas then Merry Effing Christmas. Anyway, continue!
"Can ya not?" I snap, punching Calum in the arm to try and get him to stop tickling me.
I was about to make an extremely insulting remark about his dick--even though its the opposite--when a mass of people charged into our small hotel room, engulfing me in hugs and kisses.
I paniced for a second, thinking it was a crowd of grandmothers. Turned out to be the SOS mums, lucky for me.
"My baby!" One of them cried out, pulling me into a hug.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure that's Ashton, not me." I laugh, hugging her back and moving on to the other mums. "Speaking of Ashton where is he?" I ask, looking over at Calum above our mum's heads.
"I'll go get them." Calum exclaimed quickly to avoid the overload of affection he was about to receive from the mums. Good thing too, because I wasn't about to go look for them. They've been having sex every chance they get. Its probably a good thing that our mums charged into this room first.
As if on cue by Calum closing our hotel room door, all the females sit down. Feeling slightly left out and awkward I took a seat on the window's ledge.
"Michael."
"Mum."
"Michael."
"Joyce."
"Michael."
"Liz."
"Michael."
I pause, thinking hard. "Ashton's mum."
Nope, still can't remember her name.
Its been like two years you idiot.
No one asked you, freaking tool.
I know you are, but what am I?
Resorting to third grade comebacks, classy Michael, real classy.
"Tell us everything." The painfully serious atmosphere shattered as the room dissolved into giggles. They literally sound like teenage girls making eye contact with their crush for the first time.
The only thing going through my mind is, so this is how it ends huh?
"Um, what?" I ask, eyebrows furrowed. I'm not really in tune with girl slang, I may be gay but it doesn't mean I have any connection to that alien gender.
"You and Calum! Tell us all about you two!" Ashton's mum chirps excitedly from her spot next to Joyce on one of the two beds in the room. Calum insisted on getting two even after I told him we could cuddle all day, what's gotten into him lately?
"What about Cal and I?" I ask, desperately staring at the door for Calum to come back and save me.
"He's not coming back." Liz said, noticing my intense glare directed to the door. "Luke and Ashton are keeping him distracted.
Where did that come from? It sounds like it should be in some horror movie.
"Okay fine." I huff, combing a hand through my hair roughly as I avoid their hungry gazes. "We're not dating."
"What?" Joyce shouts, eyes going wide.
"He hasn't even asked me out. I don't know, I want it to be official, I guess?" I don't even understand what I'm saying but it seems to make sense to them.
>< >< >< ><
"They are such idiots." Calum sighs, finally walking into our hotel room with Lashton in tow. "They 'accidentally' started a fire trying to make popcorn. Like, who does that?" The two sport wolfish grins as the mothers turn on their disappointed looks towards them.
"Sorry mum." Luke flashes a small smile, knowing Liz won't be mad at him for longer than three seconds.
>< >< >< ><
"Cal? What're you doing?" I ask groggily, woken up by my bed shifting. I reach out and hit him, "You're not Calum." I frown, hitting the person once again. Their arms are too big to be Calum.
"You're right, I'm not." Ashton said, flicking on the lights and grinning at me. "He kicked me out of my room so he could talk to Luke for a second. I'm really tired, so I thought I'd just slip in with you because you look warm and cuddly."
I don't know if you know this but sleepy Ash always looks and sounds extremely innocent.
"Of course you can, turn off the light asshole." I whine, throwing my head down in my pillow once again.
"Don't swear and what do you think you're doing? We're supposed to cuddle." Ashton laughs, trying to pick me up and move me closer.
"I don't cuddle." I grumble, gripping onto my pillow tighter.
"Don't fucking lie to me." He giggles, hitting me with his own pillow.
"Don't be a jerk."
"Don't tell me what to do."
"Shut up Ash, 'm tryin' to sleep."
The light clicks off and Ashton stumbles under my covers.
"Hey Michael?" Ashton whispers and I can basically hear the smile on his face.
"What?" I groan, not moving from my comfortable spot.
"Do you know why they call the thingies on the end of your hand fingers?" He asked in a sleepy but very serious tone, as if he really needed to know.
"Nope."
"Michael?" He whispers again several minutes later when I thought he'd fallen asleep.
I hum.
"W-What do you call cheese that's yours?" He giggles, finally getting it out without busting out into laughter.
Nacho cheese.
"I don't know."
"Mozzarella!" He exclaims. "Wait no! No, that's wrong! Let me restart!"
"Are you tired or just drunk?" I ask, giving him a funny look.
"No." He replies after a pause. Not actually answering my question.
"Okay, try again." I mumble, putting my head back down on my pillow.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" He giggles.
"That's not even the same joke." I whine.
"Because it's chicken! Ha! Get it?" He dissolves into loud laughs and somehow ended up on the ground.
"Laughing when someone's in pain is not nice."Ashton pouts, climbing back onto the bed.
He tries to jump on top of me but miscalculates and ends up half off the bed with his bum sticking up in the air and legs across my back.
The hotel room's door squeaks open and Calum turns on the light, causing me to laugh even harder.
"What. The fuck." His eyebrows furrow as he surveys the two of us.
"Oh hi." Ashton greets, struggling to wiggle himself back on my bed.
"You guys are so weird." Calum states, shaking his head but coming over to lay down beside me anyway.
"Thanks loser." I yawn, hugging him around the waist.
"Cuddle!"Ashton shrieks, laying on top of us.
"Hello my friends, I am here." Luke greets upon opening the door.
"You have friends?" A chorus of voices respond as an automatic reaction.
"Join us." Ashton whispers.
They thought it would be a great idea to join the two beds together but they didn't mention they'd take up both beds. And the floor would have little bits of chips all over.
And that is the story of how Calum and I ended up sleeping in the bathtub.