After being discharged from the hospital, and being lowkey about it to avoid further issues from the press and media, my parents visited me in our dorm.
They spent their time cooking for us four, watching me and supervising me like a child when using sharp objects and visiting places they've never been to especially the thai restaurants that newly opened around our area, requested by my dad.
My mom noticed that something was amiss, but I shrugged her thoughts away by returning to my old bubbly self. When they returned to Thailand, that's when the hate news came at me. Again. Thank gods they weren't here to witness the disaster unfold or else my mom would riot.
I got used to the xenophobic comments thrown at me before and now that I am nearly the most followed kpop idol on instagram and I'm not even korean.
I closed my eyes and my forehead creased immediately. Why do they always make a big deal out of everything? Can't we idols just breathe and live in peace? There's already a lot on my plate already and I can't add more to it right now.
Being a SEA woman in an industry like this is hard. I get paid six times less which I don't really care about, the backlash and hate I receive are my breakfast and dinner. People making rumors about me and saying I had plastic surgery are almost too common that I shrug it off, too. Our fans- the blinks make it more bearable for me, my members and us a group everytime we receive hate and backlash which I'm very thankful for.
They support us in ways we don't expect and remains by our side despite our long hiatus and delayed comebacks. They even push YG to stop with the mistreatment and ask for more comebacks a year which we really really appreciate from them. Thinking about them and what they do for us always makes me happy and giddy.
"Good morning!" I said as I sat on my seat beside Chaeyoung.
"Good morning. You seem energetic. What happened?"
"Hm? I just love seating next to a pretty woman." I winked playfully at her which made her blush. I chuckled at the sight. "Oh! Kimchi fried rice!"
Their eyebrows twitched upon hearing what I said but I didn't mind them. My mouth was salivating from the food infront of me.
"We always have that for breakfast but you seem too excited for that today."
"I'm just being thankful for the blessing. Itadakimasu!" I scooped a handful of the rice and put them on my plate.
I was about to take my first bite when Jisoo kicked my shin and gave me a goofy smile. "Jennie cooked that. Say thanks to Jennie."
I nodded at her and acted cute to the lady infront of me, "Thank you, Jennie eonnie! You the best!" I pounded my chest twice with my fist and sent her a flying kiss.
She chuckled while Chaeng and Jisoo covered the food, "Really? Right infront of my salad?"
I poked Chaeyoung's cheek, and smiled like an idiot, "Ohoo. You're getting your lessons about memes, eh? Talk about being a to--"
"Ugh."
She elbowed my stomach, causing me to cough and almost sputter the food inside my mouth.
Jennie immediately handed me a glass of water and Jisoo was just laughing at the scene. She wasn't even minding that there were some food flying from her mouth. Gross.
Chaeyoung glared at me, "Yah, Lisa! Shut up."
Jennie eyed us curiously, "What's with this top thing? I keep hearing it from you two."
I slightly sputtered the water I was drinking when Jennie asked this. Our eyes all widened. Jisoo and I laughed. Chaeyoung was getting more embarrassed by the second while trying to keep us quiet.
"Wait... That was freaking-- epic!" Jisoo said between breaths.
I was still laughing, the joke never seemed to stop entertaining me.
"What? What's so funny?"
Chaeng groaned and face palmed, "Don't ask, unnie. You'll hit these two if you know."
"What? Tell me or I'll hit the three of you!" The tiny kitten shrieked.
"I-- Jennie, you're lurking in twitter, right?" Jisoo asked between breaths. Her face was red from too much laughing and I can imagine myself being the same.
"Yeah. So?"
Jisoo was able to control her laughter for now, so she spoke. "If that's the case then have you not read any story about you and your ships? Or any story for that matter? Or any tweets that contain the word "Top" on them?"
Her cheeks turned slightly pink, then she averted her gaze at us. "I have?"
The eldest smirked, "Then figure it out."
No one spoke for a while, I was still giggling and Jisoo's face showed too much amusement from this scenario. Chaeyoung's face was almost a tomato, and Jennie's?
She was as red as her.
"What the hell?!" She kept hitting Jisoo who was laughing nonstop while shielding herself from the attacks. Sucks to be you, Kim Jisoo.
I burst out laughing again when I felt a sharp pain on my legs. I yelped but continued until my sides started to burn.
Jennie Kim just kicked me under the table and as much as it hurt, I couldn't believe the fact that her legs reached mine!
Jisoo held her laugh before turning to Jennie, "So Jennie, are you a bottom or a top?"
Jennie was almost pulling out Jisoo's hair who's now out of breath. "Shut up, Kim Jisoo!"
Chaeyoung covered her face and pounded on the table, which gathered all our attention. "Okay! Stop! This is disgusting, please. Let's just eat."
When the ruckus died down, Jennie's face was still red. "Nini, have you smeared kimchi fried rice on your face?"
She grabbed her fork and pointed it at me, "Shut up or I'll freaking cut your bangs."
I immediately covered my bangs with my hands, then shook my head. I pouted, "I was just kidding."
They all stood up after some time, and left all the dirty dishes on the table.
"You've recovered, right? It's your schedule to clean the plates and put them in the dishwasher." Jisoo tapped my shoulder twice while grinning then the two followed.
"Sucks to be you." Jisoo then whispered while chuckling and passed by me.
"Do you want some help, Lisa?" Chipmunk asked me. I was about to shake my head while standing up but she was already putting on the gloves.
I carried all the plates to the sink and slowly put them down. "You don't have to Chae."
"But I want--" She was cut off by a loud shriek from the living room.
"Yah! Palisa!" Jisoo was running towards us while jumping and giggling and eyeing me weirdly and shrieking, it was almost disturbing how excited she looked.
Jennie then dashed towards the noise from her room and eyed Jisoo too. "What got you all so excited about?"
"Yah, have you checked your instagram, Lisa?"
"Oh..." Chaeyoung was mumbling beside me but I wasn't focused on what she's saying but with Jisoo's attitude.
"What?" I asked her. She shook her head and motioned me to pay attention to Jisoo.
I shook my head towards the eldest, "No. Not yet, why?"
She held my arm and kept tugging it. "Ppali! Find your phone and open your IG!"
I rolled my eyes at her while she kept pushing me towards where my phone is, "I swear to God Jisoo, if this is just some prank, I will freaking dye Dalgom's ear brown."
"Ow!" She hit my arm and tossed me my phone.
"Just open it. Go!"
Chaeyoung and Jennie also followed us towards the living room, all anticipating on what got Jisoo so excited.
"You're also trending on twitter, Lisa... Oh." Jennie said while scrolling through her phone.
"Oh, what?" I unlocked my phone and once I opened it, I was bombarded with messages and notifications.
When I clicked the instagram app, my mouth almost hit the floor.
"Oh... wow."
Chaeyoung and Jisoo almost hit me, "That's all you can say? Oh... wow?"
Apparently, Jisoo already showed her the video and she was grinning from ear to ear.
It was a video of Niki telling how proud she was of me being a SEA woman in the kpop industry.
I blushed upon seeing the whole video, and also seeing Jackson Wang dancing to Ddu-Du-Ddu-Du made me smile and chuckle at his steps.
I scratched my cheeks, trying to circulate the blood flow again. "It's just too overwhelming, I guess?"
Chaeyoung suddenly slapped my arm, "That's it?! Your crush just noticed you, for heaven's sake! Reply to it now!"
"What should I put?"
Chaeyoung groaned and Jisoo chuckled, "You are a hopeless case, Manoban."
"Not as hopeless as you, though."
"Why?" Jennie finally spoke. We looked at her and she was still scrolling through her phone.
"Why what? Why is Jisoo a hopeless case?"
She shook her head then put down her phone, "No. Why did she make that video in the first place?"
Her eyes burned deep inside me that I averted my gaze. I gulped.
"What's really happening, Lisa?"
They didn't know?
"You... don't know?"
Her face showed confusion then she looked at the two, "What's happening? What do I do not know?"
They both sighed and looked at me briefly, "Lisa, you better tell her." Oh. So they know. It's just Jennie that doesn't have any clue.
I shook my head, "There's nothing new about it. We can all just shrug it off."
"What? About what?!" Her voice rose an octave higher, a sign that she's getting frustrated.
Jisoo cleared her throat and looked at me, asking for permission, I nodded at her. "Lisa's been receiving hate comments again, Jennie."
"What?" She mumbled but it was enough for us to hear.
"Yeah. Apparently, k-nets are furious that she's almost the most followed kpop idol on instagram and..." she hesitated to continue the story.
"It's because I'm Thai and I'll be the most followed 'kpop' idol."
"Since when? When did this start?"
"For over a week now, right Lisa? I'm surprised that you didn't know about it, Jennie." Chaeng held my hand and motioned me to sit. We all did anyway.
Her eyes glanced at me but she suddenly took interest in her nails, letting her gaze drop, "I've... I've been busy. I'm sorry."
I smiled, despite her not seeing it. "It's okay, Nini. It doesn't bother me anymore. I'm used to it anyway."
I stood up and stretched my limbs, "I better get back to washing the dishes. Chaeng, you still up to help?"
She nodded before following me to the kitchen.
She kept glancing at me but kept her mum.
I sighed, "What it is, Chae?"
She briefly stole a glance before sighing too, "You're just used to situation, Lisa but that doesn't mean you're used to the pain."
My heart thrummed, hearing her speak the truth brought pain in my chest and tears on my eyes.
"Then I will be used to it from now on, Chae. Be immune to all kinds of pain."
The hate comments. The loneliness while missing my family. Jennie's feelings for Jisoo and my unrequited feelings for her.
I will be immune to any of those. From now on, I will be a stronger version of Lalisa Prapriya Manoban.