I'm up all night, and the next day comes quick. My nerves eat at me more and more every minute that I'm kept waiting. At 9:32, Sam and Dean saunter through the door and down the steps into the bunker.
"What happened to bright and early?" I ask.
"This is our bright and early," Sam grumbles. "We've been up since 4 a.m. to be here. Your boyfriend seems concerned."
"Excuse me?" I ask, glaring daggers at Sam. He just huffs a sigh and keeps walking.
"What's the plan here? Where's Cas?" Dean sinks into a chair, looking worn down.
"I don't -"
"Here," Cas announces himself, emerging from the hallway.
"He's here," I sigh.
"Are you ready?" Cas questions me. "I've been watching the samples all night and I think we should get a move on."
I nod. "Dean? Are you good? You know you don't have to help with this, right? You can rest."
"I'm good, just a little tired," he shrugs. He seems on edge, but I brush it off. "Go get yourselves all set up and I'll get some coffee."
I follow his directions. Cas and I wander down into the dungeon to the cell they first captured me in. Cas sets up everything he needs on a tray while I situate myself in the chair. Dean finds us and chuckles upon entry.
"Good times, huh?" He smirks.
"I hate you," I remark.
"You wish," he mutters behind his coffee mug.
Playfully, I glare at him, having no response. My attention is taken elsewhere as Castiel begins buckling the leather straps around my limbs.
I frown. "Why?"
"We don't know what could happen, it's just for good measure," he consoles.
"Fine."
"Are you ready?"
"Why do you keep asking that? It's not like there's anything I can do to prepare for this. Let's get it over with." I feel slightly bad for barking at Cas, but I've grown impatient between him pestering me, and then him asking me if I'm ready.
He nods and wheels the tray to where I'm sitting. "This might hurt."
I give him a nod as a green light. Cas inserts the large needle into my forearm and begins injecting the bright purple liquid. I can see it under my skin as it generalizes itself in the capillaries and veins. It looks like a map on my skin. As it spreads, I can tell it was in a cooler. My body is overtaken with chills as the purple liquid illuminates all of my blood vessels.
Dean looks weirded out — his face is scrunched up and his eyes are wide. The coffee in his hand seems to be forgotten as I practically glow with the fuscia hue.
Then the pain that Cas warned me about starts. It transitions from the tingling chills into what feels like a fire coursing in my veins.
I whimper a bit on accident. I try to clench my teeth and stay quiet. I bite my lips and clench my fists, focusing on the pressure rather than the pain I'm feeling. Right as it begins to die down, I feel a brand new shock of agony right at my core. I open my eyes briefly to see Castiel placing my soul where it might go.
The white hot pain sears my muscles and exhausts my nerves. I can tell the reaction between my soul and my DNA is taking place at a rapid pace, because after a few seconds that felt like several minutes, it dies down, and I start to relax.
"Mallory," Dean's voice coaxes me. "Can you hear me? Cas, is she okay?"
The thing is, I can hear Dean, but I can't reply. All I feel is exhaustion, and the feeling of physical decline as my body desensitizes.
I wake up in a bed. A cloud of confusion hangs over my psyche as I orient myself. I'm in the bed that Sam laid in when Cas returned his soul, and I'm alone. I wonder if I should call for someone or just wait...of course, I'm strapped down, and can't free myself.
"Dean?" I holler. "Cas? Sam?"
Instantly, Dean is through the door and at my side.
"You're awake," he sighs, and runs a hand down his face. "Thank God." Dean plants an unexpected kiss on my forehead and gives me a genuine smile.
"It's not like I died, jeez," I scoff. "What's the big deal?"
"You've been out for four days now," he says. "It took Sam way less time to recover. I was worried something went wrong."
"Sam's full human," I remind him. "Which, speaking of that, I should be too now, right?"
Dean grimaces. "I'll let Cas explain that. I don't know enough about all this living dead crap to tell you."
"Living dead?" I laugh. "I've never died. Can you like, release me now?"
Dean nods, and undoes my binds. Slowly, he helps me sit up. I feel dizzy as my body gets used to being vertical again. Dean moves to sit next to me, and puts an arm around my waist tightly and securely.
"You're being awfully mushy, are you okay?" I ask, letting my tone leak some humor.
Just at the wrong time, Sam and Cas walk in.
"We'll talk later," Dean mutters, releasing my waist, but keeping his hand resting on the side of my leg.
"Mallory, you look great," Sam observes. "I'm glad you're okay."
"Thanks," I smile.
"How do you feel?" Cas asks.
"A little cloudy in the head, but fine," I report.
Cas extends his hand. "May I?"
I nod and place my hand in his. I'm immediately distracted by the softness of his hands, but I suppose an angel would be soft.
"You seem to be in good shape."
"So, am I human or not?" I ask eagerly.
"No," Cas replies bluntly. "You aren't fully human. Unfortunately, the reaction wasn't strong enough with the human DNA to completely change you. You're still you, but much stronger. I imagine with your soul and the DNA, you'll probably harness the strength of a thousand nephilims, give or take."
"So you're telling me I have some kind of super strength?" I question. "Cas, I just want to be normal."
"I know, but if I have to break it to you, you'll never be normal, Mallory," he explains. "You've spent so much time of your life being a reaper and living that life, that your body is in tune with that side, not your human side. I know this isn't what you want, but it's what you have, and to be frank with you, this is the best protection you'll ever get. Even if it were me against you, you could wipe me out in two seconds flat if you knew how. I'm telling you, Mallory, this doesn't have to be a bad thing."
I take in Castiel's words. My mindset begins to shift; maybe he's right. It doesn't have to be bad. This could be the release from my past that I've been craving. I can stop being helpless.
"How do I learn, then?" I ask.
"More of the same," he answers. "I'll teach you everything you need to know. But really, you know all of it. It's just improving yourself."
I nod. "Okay, fine. I'll give this a shot."
"Okay," Cas nods. "The first step -"
"Can it wait a bit?" I interrupt. "I just want to spend some time getting acclimated. And I kind of need to talk with Dean, alone."
Sam and Cas share a surprised look, but nonetheless, leave Dean and I alone. I face him on the bed, crossing my legs and taking a deep breath.
"So, let's talk," I encourage him. "Why are you so...soft?"
"I am not soft," Dean corrects me, offense clear in his tone. "Not soft. I just...like you, alright? It's not about being soft."
"I was kidding, don't get upset," I console him. "I like you, too, but I think you already knew that." Dean chuckles. "Dean, it's nothing weird to have feelings, you know. It's kind of comforting to me, actually."
"Comforting?"
"Yeah. Kind of like I know I have someone to depend on if I need it. I have someone I can expose my human side to."
"Well, I'm all human, baby," Dean retorts, "I have enough human. You can give me whatever side you want and I'll like it."
"You're so weird," I taunt him, trying to displace my embarrassment from his statement.
"I have to be doing something right," he barters. "We both do. From what I know, we both had plans to kill each other."
I lean forward and kiss his cheek. "People change, Winchester. I wouldn't dream of hurting any of you three, even moreso you."
Dean pulls me back and kisses me on the lips. "I'm glad you stayed."