Chapter 21 – Rein’s Confession
Rein’s P.O.V.
Blake and I just finished having dinner and now, we were both busy settling in our new rooms. This house is unbelievably big for just the two of us. Imagine, 6 rooms, 1 library, a dinning hall, a big kitchen, a spacious living room, an office, a pool, and a garage that even 6 cars could fit in. We moved just this morning and puro box and luggages pa halos sa buong bahay.
I got some of my things from Michael and I’s house before like some of his old stuff, some picures, and some pieces of his things that were important to me, even some of Michael’s favorite clothes before. I placed them all in a small box and brought them here. I just like the idea of keeping his things near me kasi parang nanjan parin siya, parang umalis lang for a while pero babalik rin.
I was unpacking all of my clothes when Blake knocked and stood by the door. “Need help?”
“Not really…” He didn’t mind me anyway, he went beside me and started helping me put my dresses in hangers. When we were done, he helped me din to put them inside the closet.
“Can I ask you something?” He asked me right after he closed the closet doors. I just nodded and smiled. “Napansin ko kasi, eversince I met you, all of your clothes are black, until now actually. It’s not like nagluluksa ka diba? Or favorite color mo lang talaga black? Or…. Don’t tell me you’re into gothic.” Napatawa kami parehas sa last na sinabi niya.
I looked down and sighed. Napasandal nalang ako sa cabinet and napatingin sa box kung nasaan nandoon yung mga gamit ni Mike. He walked towards it and started opening and taking out the things that were inside it. He saw Mike’s favorite leather jacket and tried it on him.
“Why do you have boy things? This is nice ah.” That’s when I noticed that he had the same body frame Michael had. It fit him perfectly.
I smiled faintly and sighed again. ‘hindi niya nga pala alam…’
“Sayo nalang kung gusto mo… Bagay sayo eh.” He just smiled back at me and tinuloy niya yung pagkalikot sa box. I just watched him acting like a child hunting for toys that he could still play with.
I saw Blake take out Michael’s wallet and started looking through the credit cards “Who’s Michael Henry Verdauger?” I didn’t answer him buthis lips formed a smile that would express hurt and regret when he saw the little picture of Mike and me as a sweet couple in a party when we were still in college.
“Oh, bakit ganyan ka? Selos? Don’t worry, Michael’s already… gone.” I took the wallet from him and he started removed the jacket and placed it back in the box.
“Sorry about that. Who’s Michael for you anyway?” He asked in a cold tone. I didn’t know why but Michael’s name didn’t seem to be new to him. It was like he said it a million times before or parang he knew who we were talking about.
“He’s… supposed to be my husband right now, I mean kung hindi tayo nagkakilala ha? He died a year and a half ago. And what’s more complicated, he died on our wedding date.” He looked away and I just couldn’t make myself believe that this talk was really awakward for the both of us. He needs to know anyway.
“Did you love him? Rather, do you still love him?”
“I do. I just had to accept the fact that when I try to love someone else, our memories would always hunt me. I tried to fall in love, ilang beses na nga eh. Pero bumabalik talaga ako sakanya.”
“So that explains all your black clothes.” He tried to laugh off yung awkwardness but it didn’t work. Instead, he looked through Michael’s old journal that I never dared to read or open man lang since he died kasi alam ko na iiyak lang ako pag nabasa ko yung mga sinulat niya doon.
He stopped scanned through the pages and looked at me. “This is all about you… Mind if I read one of the entries aloud?” I hesistated for a while but still, he picked the last entry and binasa niya.
“After 8 years of being together, we decided to tie the knot. Tomorrow, my loving girlfriend and I would be sharing one surname and living under one roof. I can’t wait to wake up every morning seeing her beside me or go on stargazing with her every weekend. No one could stop me from loving her. Even death.” My eyes were starting to have tears because of the last line.
Blake ripped out something from the page and went near me. It was a CD taped on the exact page where Mike wrote his last entry. “To Mrs. Verdauger daw.”
Instead of getting the CD from him, I covered my face and tried to prevent myself from sobbing. I didn’t expect for him to hug me, but he did. He kissed my forehead and tapped my back which made me cry more.
“I’m sorry. Dapat hindi ko na tinanong.” He told me while he was still holding me close to him. I was burying my face in his neck and his hands were in my back. “Sorry na talaga… please stop crying… Please?”
Blake’s P.O.V.
I ended up sleeping in Rein’s room because she wouldn’t stop crying last night. Parang kasalanan ko pa tuloy kung bakit biglang nagkaroon nanaman siya ng slight depression. She was clearly living in the shadows of her relationship with Mike before.
To make it up to her, I took the responsibility of cooking today’s breakfast and it means waking up at 5:30 in the morning before her. It’s a weekend kaya medyo late kami nagising and siguro napagod din sa pagaayos ng bahay.
“Good morning, honey.” I greeted her when I saw her came around the living room. She just smiled back and sat on her seat in front of the table. I filled her cup with coffee and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Anong meron at maaga kang nagising? And not only that, ikaw pa nagluto.” She chuckled and took a sip of her coffee.
“I just wanted to make it up to you after last night.” She just smiled and continued eating. “What? No reply? Say something.”
“It’s okay. It was my fault anyway.” I just stared at her with my cute eyes. Hahaha. My sister would buy it when I always use that on her. “Why are you looking at me like that??” Her right eyebrow raised and she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Alright, what do you want?”
Bigla akong natawa. Looks like my pa-cute would also work on her and not only with my sister. “Can you stay here this weekend? With me?”
“Blake naman, you know I always need to stay with Papa every weekend. Besides, hindi naman siya laging nandito eh.” She usually goes home with Tito Enzo kasi every weekend so they could catch up. Pero ngayon lang ako nadisspoint when she said no. Sanay naman ako na hindi siya nandito every weekend pero ngayon kasi, iba eh. “Blake, please don’t throw me that tantrum of yours… Ngayon lang naman eh.”
I looked away from her and pushed a whole slice of bread inside my mouth and chewed it no matter how hard it is. I know how childish this is but trust me, me acting like a child in desperate measures always works. I was beginning to choke when she went near me and hugged me from behind. “Blake naman…”
I now pushed a whole hotdog inside my mouth which causes me to choke and almost threw up. She made me drink a glass of water and when everything was settled, she sat on my lap na kinagulat ko. “Alright, I guess Papa would have to wait.” She said finally giving up and wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Really? YEHEY!!! Thanks, honey! I love you!!” It took a while for me to realize what I just said. We both got into shock. “I mean, I love you because you’re doing me a favor of staying here for the weekend.”
“I knew that…” She went back to her seat and finished eating.
She was about to go upstairs when I remembered all of her black clothes. Ngayon na alam ko na yung main reason kung bakit ganon, it was starting to irritate me. I want her to forget Michael. I wanted her to see other guys rather than him alone.
“Rein, take a bath na and wear something nice. Aalis tayo.” And for once with that decision, I was willing for everyone to see that we’re together. I wasn’t afraid to be issued to be seen with her.
Rein’s P.O.V.
Blake and I spent the weekend laughing, having fun, sharing each other’s thoughts, and arranging our new home. We even went shopping for a few times and he literally made me change all of my clothes. My black dresses were replaced with colorful once that Blake chose and bought for me because he was getting tired seeing me in black clothes daw.
We’ve been sleeping in one room na din eversince Blake’s accidental ‘I love you’ which I thought and hoped was true.
But given this weekend we spent together, I saw the real Blake. He isn’t really that ‘prodigal son’ everyone knew of him. Deep inside, he was that person who’s fun to be with, caring, and someohow, loving. Although I knew it’s impossible for him to love me.
And for once, I finally understood why this man who was sleeping beside me was acting so reckless in his whole life. I remembered the talk we had earlier before he fell asleep.
We got tired of re-arranging the new pieces of furniture we bought and decided to get some rest in his room. We were laying by each other on his bed while laughing our hearts out when we both saw our baby pictures.
“Alam mo, mukhang ang bait bait mo nung bata ka. You really didn’t look like the bad boy you are now.” I really can’t stop laughing with the picture of the young Blake naked while eating ice cream.
“You know, I’m not really that bad…” He smiled faintly and just stared into thin air. I rested my head on his shoulder to atleast free the tireness I felt.
“What do you mean?”
“Alam ko naman na everyone hated me so much before because I was always in the news because of my behavior, of girls, or when I win. And I know that you were one of those people who hated me. but just to mind you, may dahilan naman kung bakit ako ganon.” He tried to laugh the awkwardness that was starting to form. I didn’t reply but instead, I hugged him to make him feel that I was there for him.
“And what would that dahilan be?”
“You know Bryan, right? Your sister’s boyfriend?” I nodded “He’s not really my brother. Half lang. I mean, same Dad but different moms.” He explained.
“Huh? How? Kala ko you were really brothers. All I know is he hated you too. Kasi when I met him before, nagfreak out ako kasi I thought he was like… you. Pero hindi pa tayo nagmeet nun.”
“Exactly why he doesn’t like me and my older sister too.” I was getting all confused but Blake made sense to explain it to me clearly. “My sister and I’s Mom is named Sophia while Bryan and Blaire’s mom is named Isabelle. My dad, as you’ve met him before was married to Sophia and they had two children which is Bianca and me, Blake. When Ate Bianca was 10 and I was nearly 8, Sophia left us with another man and a few years after, Dad met Isabelle and they had Bryan and Blaire. Which meant Ate Bianca and I never had the attention of dad. Ate Bianca just focused on her studies thinking that after she graduates, she would be out of our life in hell and telling me that she would take me too. I, on the other hand, focused so hard on trying to get Dad’s attention and all I got was to be spoiled. He tried to take away my anger and jelousy by giving me all the things I wanted and that’s how I got into racing. Isabelle was great. In fact she was the mother my sister and I never had, but turns out that she just wanted Dad to see that everything was okay. She’s all plastic. Including her children.”
I looked at his eyes and I saw sadness. Suddenly, I felt bad for judging him before. “So racing has been your get away from all those problems?”
I placed my arms on top of his chest while he played with my hand. “Not only racing, pati na din girls. One of the reasons kung bakit ako nagenjoy sa racing is because of the attention na binibigay ng lahat ng tao saakin. I figured out being a bad boy was a great front act to keep all the attention of the people around me stay. When I drive, I feel like the world around me disappear and clearly, it feels so good. And to think about it the press people and all the fan girls’ give me more attention than my father.”
“Kaya nga when your dads threatened my father to shut our company down, I was somehow happy because for once, my father and I had this long talk. Pero there was something that’s telling me to not let it happen din kasi that was the last memory Ate Bianca and I have from our Mom.”
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Sorry sa pagda-drama.” He suddenly kissed my forehead and silence took over us before he fell asleep.
I looked at the man sleeping beside me. He had his long eye lashes, his perfect nose, and his lips that was tempting for me to kiss at this time. I’ve never seen him this perfect and peaceful before.
I was the only one who knew that behind this man’s reckless image, was a man who’s been broken and didn’t want anything else but feel the attention and love of his father. I never actually thought that one day, I’ll be seeing THE Blake Josef Bustamante in a different perspective.
and
I never did expect myself to see THE reckless jerk a.k.a. Blake Josef Bustamante as the man that… I love.