As I sat with Magnus is Adams office, I reflected on what I was about to say. I went over everything to the best of my abilities with out so much as spiraling into a panic attack. I just hoped I would be able to get all the words out in front of Magnus. And maybe after all this, I could live normally with out nightmares and paranoia hitting me like the plague. I just wanted some form of normality, finally.
"Esme," Magnus whispered gently in my ear. I slowly looked up from my lap to see Adam standing in front of us, his hands supported his weight as they gripped the edge of his desk from behind him.
"You were thinking pretty hard there, parvulus..." Adam hummed softly, standing tall once again. I looked slowly at Magnus before looking at Adam. "You wanna say something?" He asked. My teeth tortured the flesh of my bottom lip as my eyes casted down to my hands. I hadn't noticed before, but they were shaking. Magnus reaches over and placed a large hand on top of mine. I clenched them to see if it would make them stop and sat up straight, looking back at Adam.
"Yeah. I do," I finally said, a pinky curling around Magnus's thumb. Adam smiled gently at me as if to encourage me. I sighed softly and nodded to myself that this would be good for me. "I...My parents used to drug me all the time. Well, when they wanted my body to respond to them, which it never did, so that's why they would use it. When I was a child, I was like their favorite object to use when they wanted to test the drug they were working on. Usually, it was just an injection...but then they figured out how to make it into a pill. A solid pill. They would trick me...put it in my drink or line the it along the rim of my cup after smashing it into a powder. Sometimes it would be in my food. They would always wait too, that's how I knew what was about to happen to me. I remember when I was 10, my mother and father had me sit and eat dinner with them. They had associates over with them so I was surprised when they did, but I usually ate away from them and...I guess I was just excited they were including me in something..." My lips felt chapped and my mouth dried as I looked at them to make sure they were still listening.
They had their full, undivided attention on me. "I was sitting with them. The maids served dinner...but everyone was quiet. They were just glancing over at me every now and then. I picked at my food because the maid that served it to me looked really worried. But everyone else began eating so I did and..." I felt chills run down my spine. God, I couldn't say it. "It happened so fast...ev...everyone leaped at me. They were so excited to see the outcome and I didn't really understand at first what was happening until I felt it..." I began to whisper, my hands now gripping magnus' hand tightly. I swallowed dryly and finally looked back at the two men who had gentle looks on her face.
"Once they perfected it...I was use to feeling it, but I guess being away from all that for a while made me realize how much I hated those feelings. All those people who just...fucked me...they didn't care about how much I was hurting and I was so terrified of them. Once, a man choked me. He choked me so hard, I got bruises and couldn't talk. My parents just watched, did nothing. They liked watching those things happen to me. They liked it when I bled especially," I stuttered lightly; looking frantic-eyed.
Adam sighed softly and slowly walked over to me, crouching in front of me. Magnus brushes a lock behind my ear. "That wasn't even half of what they've done to you, right?" He asked, knowingly. My lower lip quivered and I sobbed roughly, my shoulders heaving as I nodded. I leaned into Magnus's warmth and whimpered softly.
"They wouldn't let me learn, I wanted to learn. If I learned, they'd beat me and then make me sleep with them. Every maid that actually tried to help me and love me, I pushed them away because I was scared of how nice they were. They always went missing because I was a stupid tattle-take who wanted to stay out of punishments!" I said, covering my eyes. "They were so kind to me and all I did was insult them all...."
"Esmeralda, I'm sure they all understood," Magnus said softly. "Being in a happy mood in that house isn't very likely," He stated, pulling my hands away from my face. I looked up at him and sniffled softly, getting up to sit in his lap. Magnus hummed in my ear, kissing it gently as he held me close. I hugged his neck and tucked his head under his chin, looking over at Adam. He grinned at us and reached over to ruffle my hair.
"Thanks da-" I paused and my face heated up slowly. I almost called Adam, dad. "Adam...thanks..." I mumbled. I didn't dare look at anyone and suddenly both men laughed softly at me.
"You can call me whatever you want, Esmeralda, remember that," Adams voice filled my ears. My ears felt warm but I nodded quickly and looked back at the books, getting up, and taking one out. I looked back at Magnus who arched an eyebrow. He was probably confused as to why I grabbed a children's book but I planned on showing him why anyways. Adam looked proud as I sat across Magnus's lap.
"Magnus?" I asked softly. "Um..." I trailed off, looking back at Adam who sat back in his office chair. I sighed and relaxed. We were done talking, it was all that I knew about the drugs anyways. So I continued onwards to open the book and scan through the words, slowly beginning to read. My voice seemed to catch in my throat as I came across a word I had no idea about.
"...It says beautiful, Esme..." Magnus whispered softly. My eyes slowly widened, looking back at him.
"Oh...yeah..." I said. "Magnus...Magnus..." I tried to tell him but my eyes only teared up. He smiled gently and kissed my lips slowly.
"Yeah, I know," He whispered. "Let's continue, shall we, My love?" Magnus asked. I smiled up at him, wiping my tears away. I turned my attention back to the book and continued to read with the help of Magnus. Adam seemed to just watch us, but he looked away as his mate suddenly entered. Six looked at us but as I went to look back at him, Magnus gripped my chin, turning my face back.
"Keep going," he encouraged. "I love the sound of your voice, Beautiful." Master complimented. A ducked my head shyly and continued like he told me. I could tell that Adam left with six, probably to give us alone time.
"You're doing very well..." Master praised again. I smiled to myself.
"Thank you, Master."