•••
"Dam-Damnit!"
A violent cough escaped her throat and Lucy felt a warm liquid seep through the gap of her fingers, the crimson drops decorating the ground below.
Another fit of violent coughs had her down on her knees, as Lucy clutched to the trunk of a tree for dear support.
Why'd she do that?!
She told him. She screamed it at him. Her secret. Her identity. Her everything.
Tears pooled in her eyes, while Lucy tried to stifle a sob. The coughs were suffocating her, her chest was tight, her heart heavy from the weight of the sin she had committed.
She hurt him.
And she knew the consequences.
The forest around was flickering in and out of focus. Why was her head so heavy? It was pounding, everything around a haze.
"Lucy."
His deep voice was all that she heard before her body gave up and darkness engulfed her whole, leaving her trapped alone in her own web of sufferings.
•••
It hurt.
She didn't know where she was, what had happened, or what will.
All she knew was that it hurt. A lot.
In a frenzy, she tried to move around, her action of inhaling the dust getting shallower, and slower with every passing moment. However, wherever she was, whatever was keeping her down did not budge, and Lucy was threatened with the prospect of passing out yet again as every second of her struggle bore fruitless results.
"Wha-What happened here?"
She stopped moving, eyes wide in shock. A voice! And not just any voice. A familiar voice.
A grunt, and the sound of movement. Lucy listened, taking in every sound.
"I don't know.." the voice sounded so far away. Almost muffled. The ringing in her ears certainly didn't make things any better, but despite that, she had to listen. Had to know. Everything. "I don't remember.."
A moment's silence before a few more grunts and shoves were heard, and it appeared that the group of people were moving something heavy.
So many footsteps. A group of people. Group..team..guild..why was she here again?
"Natsu-san! Oh no!"
Natsu. Natsu. Natsu.
"He took quite the hit."
"I'll heal him. Hopefully he'll gain consciousness soon enough."
Group. Team.
"Natsu.."
"Don't worry tomcat! He will definitely be alright."
"Tsk. Flamebrain. Always getting in danger's way. When will he ever learn?"
Guild. A job. Natsu.
"Gray, stop trying to move, it'll hurt more."
"Just don't overexert yourself child."
"I won't. Gray-san, let me see that wound."
"Ack. What even happened here?! Why can't I remember?!"
Remember. Remember. What happened? What went down? Remember.
"Natsu.."
Natsu. Natsu. Natsu. Remember.
What went wrong?
Remember.
Finally, her mind cleared, every single one of those memories flooding her entire being. Finally, all that anguish of trying to remember was gone, only to be replaced by something much worse.
She remembered.
It was the spell.
The others, were they alright? Natsu, and how was he?! Did something happen to him? Her spell didn't fail, did it? She saved them all, right?
The burning questions in her mind were like adrenaline and the newfound strength coursed through her weakened body, and Lucy directed all of that into pushing away whatever was keeping her down.
It shifted a little, and Lucy gasped for air as she pushed her head out. Now that she finally had light, she could make out huge piles of debris, which were suffocating her in.
"Oh no!"
The ringing in her ears did not stop, and her vision was still hazy. However, despite all the mess, she could still make out Wendy's delicate voice and worried face staring down at her, the others approaching not far behind.
"Is she okay?"
"Her entire right side is crushed!"
"I'll heal you, just hold on!"
"Who are-"
However, Lucy had already tuned everything out, her fading consciousness only focused on one thing.
Natsu.
Her dizzy vision soon found a limp human body, a safe distance away from the debris.
Natsu. It was him.
She found him. But she had yet to know if he was alright.
With what little energy she had left, Lucy mustered up the strength to try and speak, to string her broken concern together. She gently touched Wendy's hand, the young mage looking at her in gentle surprise.
"What is it?"
"N..Nat.."
But when had life ever gone as planned?
"Huh?" the sky maiden asked, confused, but never received the answer, for Lucy Heartfilia had already lost all consciousness.
•••
She felt a gentle touch on her forehead, just like what her mother used to do to wake her up. Lucy smiled against the touch, snuggling deeper in the comfort of her warm blankets, and got ready to lose herself again in her happy dreams.
Except that they were nightmares.
The humble lady pulled back her hand with a start, but gently smiled and caressed Lucy's long hair nonetheless.
"Oh! You're awake." she smiled, getting up and collecting a clipboard from the dresser. "I was won-what's wrong sweetie?!"
The woman, a small, squat woman with brown hair framing her kind face, turned back to find a shocked and tearful Lucy, staring into oblivion.
"I-uh what?! Why am I crying?"
As if she broke from her trance after hearing her words, Lucy hurriedly started wiping her tears, while the lady looked at her in confusion.
"Uh..um ma'am?" the blonde asked after she had wiped all the tears away. "Where am I?"
"This is the Tuscan town's hospital. I'm Rose, one of the nurses here."
"The hospital.." Lucy mumbled. "How-"
"A group of mages brought you here." Rose smiled. "They were in a poor shape themselves, especially one of the lads."
"Natsu?!" Lucy jumped, her reaction causing Rose to yelp in surprise. "Oh uh sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."
"It's quite alright." Rose sighed. "Natsu, was it? I can't say. He didn't wake up."
"Didn't wake up?!" Lucy was hysterical now, getting ready to get out of bed. "I have to see him!"
As swiftly as the wind, Rose pushed her back, and tucked her in again. "You can't! Look at yourself! You're already so frail!"
"But I have to-"
"You can't." she said sternly this time. "Besides, they already left."
"They-what?"
"An hour ago." Rose nodded, scrunching her eyebrows at the clipboard in hand. "Now, would you mind filling me in with some information for the reports?"
"Leave?.." Lucy mumbled in disbelief. "But how could they leave? Without me?"
"Your name?"
"Huh? Oh. Lucy Heartfilia."
"Hm. Age?"
"I'm nin-they didn't fill in for me?"
Rose stopped scribbling and looked at Lucy in surprise. "Were they supposed to? I was told that they didn't know a thing about you when you were brought in."
"But that's not possible I-"
"Lucy, I think you're confusing things. Maybe you should rest up, I'll take care of this later. Hm?"
"But I-"
"Here are the things that were on you." the woman smiled, putting them down next to her. "I'll send in some food and medicine. You just rest up okay?"
Without waiting another minute, Rose walked out, leaving a stunned Lucy behind.
What was happening? Why did they not fill in for her? Why did they not wait?
"Miss Lucy."
•••
There it was. Standing as tall as ever. Her guild. Her home.
Her family.
It can't be true. She refused to believe it. It just can't!
It was just Grandpa Crux sprouting nonsense. It was probably Loke's idea of a prank. That jerk! She'd show him that it wasn't true.
Despite the faux confidence she had filled herself with, Lucy's feet trembeled nonetheless as she took a step towards her guild.
It was as if they knew they were walking into a nightmare.
A nightmare that was never going to end.
She didn't even notice that she was already in front of the guild, her still frail body trembling. Whether from fear or from weakness, it was hard to tell.
"Hello! May I help you with something?" a cheery voice greeted her from the side and Lucy saw MiraJane looking up to her with her big blue eyes, a bag of groceries in her hands.
"Mira! You- I-"
Mira tilted her head a little, willing for Lucy to continue.
"Yes?"
"I-you- don't you remember me?"
Everything from the way she was acting on seeing her to the way she spoke, all of it screamed that they were nothing but strangers.
But Lucy still refused to believe it.
It cannot be true.
"Have we met before?"
"I..I.."
This cannot be true.
"I-come on MiraJane! You really don't remember?" Lucy asked, laughing nervously. "Me? Lucy? Lucy Heartfilia?"
"Did we ever meet on a shoot?"
"Come on Mira this isn't funny anymore!" Lucy laughed, tears were already prickling her eyes. She was going to break down any moment. "You can't just forget it all. All of those memories! You just can't!"
Mira was visibly shocked now, shifting the weight of the bag to gently touched Lucy's shoulder, aware of the blonde's hysteria. "Maybe you should come inside and we'll talk?"
"Mira! Look at me!" Lucy was sobbing now, grabbing Mira by her shoulders. "Do you really not remember? Anything?!"
"I-uh I-"
"It's me. Please remember. Anything. Don't forget me, please."
As if she'd lost all of her strength, MiraJane suddenly slumped down, coughing violently. Lucy watched in shock, while the others inside noticed this and began to hurry outside.
"But I- you can't-" Lucy mumbled tearfully, stepping back slowly.
Crux warned her.
Another step back
The spell, it was her end..
What had she done?
"Miss Lucy, you shouldn't have used Luna Amissa!"
He was right, she shouldn't have! But what other choice did she have?
"The spell, it has consequences. It didn't come to without a price."
What did it cost?
"Memories of you, your existence, everything is erased now. Nothing of you will remain with the people of this world."
Everything.
"If you even try to reverse the spell in any way, it can be fatal for you!"
She was cornered. She had no way out. All she could do was step away.
"And not just you, but also the people you did it for."
She'll hurt them. She's hurting them. Maybe she deserves it. All of it.
She's despicable.
In one swift motion, Lucy turned and ran, away from the guild, away from a hurting Mira, away from her everything.
She'd never see them. Any of them.
It was all over.
This was the price.
This is what it cost.
Her family. Her home. Her everything.
Him.
And that is when, her worst nightmare became her reality.
•••
*Breathes*
This has got to be one of the shittiest chapters I've ever written.
I'm so sorry for the long wait I just didn't know how to write. It was like I had the scene in mind, I just didn't know how to bring it into words. ;-;
Anyway. Here it is. If you liked it even a tiny bit, like and comment please! And I hope this explains why Lucy does what she does, and why she wasn't so kneen on reminding them of herself.
Until then!
Belle🌸
🔥❤🔑