Chapter Ninety
Dani
Eli gets back from work late on Friday evening. He says they were called out to an incident late into the evening and they had to assist with a raid and an arrest. Something is bothering him though. He's quieter than usual, almost like he's worried about something. Considering he has said he only ever worries about me, it must be something to do with me. We watch a movie in the living room with Connie and Don before heading to bed at midnight. I'm getting pretty good at using these crutches and I think I could go back to work soon, if Eli and the Cap will let me.
As we settle in bed, our new routine of me laying next to Eli, I whisper, “Eli? Can I go back to work soon?”
“You feel up to it?”
“Yes sir. I'm good with the crutches now so I think I can manage.”
“What about the stairs? We can go in the elevator, but I need to know you're ok with that.”
“If you're there, then I'll be ok.”
“Ok. I'll call the Cap tomorrow and see what he says.”
“Ok. Eli?”
“Yes baby?”
“You're worried about something, aren't you? What's wrong?”
He sighs and then replies, “It still amazes me how good you are at reading me. I have to ask you something, Dani, and I know you're not going to like it. I've been putting it off for a while now because I didn't want to upset you. The Cap and Captain Greggson need an answer though, so I have to ask. I'm sorry. I've just been thinking about the best way to ask...”
“It's ok. Ask me, sir. I know you're here to help me, so I'll be ok.”
He smiles a little and says, “Do you realize how brave you've actually become? I mean, so much has happened in the last few months and you've changed. Before you would have freaked out about the fact that I needed to ask you something. You're more confident, even if you don't think so.”
I shrug, “You help me.”
“And I'm glad I do. So, we ran the MO used on Babkin through Interpol and we've had some hits. Interpol have an alert out on a guy called Misha Ivankov....”
The breath catches in the back of my throat but whooshes out of my lungs at the same time. Maybe it's not even physiologically possible, but that's what it feels like. Eli's face appears in front of me before I can start panicking properly.
“Hey, hey. It's ok, baby. You're safe. I'm here and no one can get you. Talk to me, Dani. What's going on?”
I croak out, “He was there... I heard his name...”
“Do you know what he looks like? Did you see him?”
“I don't know. Not everyone said their names... I don't know....”
“It's ok, it's ok. Deep breaths, Dani... That's it.”
Once I've calmed down a little bit, Eli continues, “The Cap needs to know if you remember where they held you. He thinks if you can give a rough location, then we might be able to narrow the search field down and find the location. Can you remember anything?”
“I was unconscious, sir.”
“I know, but you said they left you by a dumpster. Maybe when you came round, then you saw something? I know it's asking a lot to make you go back to those memories, but it's our shot at finding these people and punishing them. I'm not asking you to tell me right now, but maybe you could think about it?”
I nod slightly. I don't like the thought of going back to those memories by choice. I try to keep my conscious mind as far away from those as possible. What my subconscious mind does is something completely different, but that's not by my choice.
“I'm sorry I have to ask you to do this, baby. I really am sorry. I really want to catch these guys and punish them, but I need your help to do that. I'd actually like to kill them, but I know I'm not legally allowed to do that...”
“It's ok, sir.”
It's not really ok, but I know it's a difficult situation for him to be in. This has all passed the point of me being able to hide it and keep everything a secret. Maybe the whole precinct doesn't need to know, but our Captain does. If it were up to me, I'd just leave it all alone, but we can't do that now. These people got to me once; and they'll try again if we can't stop them. I don't want Eli, his family or Ash to get hurt in the process. So I have to try to be brave and help as much as I can.
I whisper, “I'll think about it.”
Those particular memories are clouded by a drug haze, as well as pain from a severe beating beforehand, and they'll take a bit of time to remember properly. That's if I can even remember them at all. That'll be a novelty for me – not remembering something. I don't really sleep that night, I spend most of the time trying to fight back the bad memories and focus on the time when I came to beside that dumpster.
By the time the morning light is shining through, I have a headache and my eyes are stinging, but I'm not any closer to remembering.
Eli groans as he stretches, which makes me jump because I'm not expecting it.
Eli's voice is husky with sleep when he speaks, “Dani? Everything ok? You don't look so good.”
“Tired.”
“You didn't sleep, huh?”
I don't answer. He doesn't need me to respond. Besides, it doesn't seem like the polite thing to do.
“I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to do that. I shouldn't have brought it up last night.”
“I was trying to remember. I can't, Eli. It's just a big haze. I'm sorry.”
“Hey, there's no need to get upset. Don't stress about it, baby. I know you're trying to help, but I don't want it to upset you unnecessarily. Maybe it'll come to you if you relax a bit. No one is expecting you to remember it straight away. The Cap knows it was a long time ago. He knows that you weren't in a great state. He's not expecting you magic up an answer straight away. All he wants is for you to try, that's all. If you still don't have any information, then we'll cross that bridge later. Please don't get upset. Ok?”
“Yes sir.”
“I'm going to get dressed up and go help my ma with breakfast. You should try to get some sleep. I'll come and let you know when breakfast is ready.”
I nod and briefly shut my stinging eyes. When I open them again, Eli is sitting up, watching me. I suddenly feel very self conscious and I'm sure the blush on my cheeks lets him know that.
I manage to whisper, “Do I have something on my face, sir?”
“No. Just... Never mind. Get some sleep, sweetheart.”
Before I know what's happening, he places a kiss on my forehead and another on the tip of my nose. I suck in a sharp breath, not knowing quite how to react to that. I remind myself that this is Eli - my Eli - and he's not going to hurt me. If he's shocked by his own actions, he doesn't show it. He simply shoots me a wink and a boyish grin as he says, “Have some good dreams now.”
He's gone in a flash and I'm left to wonder if that was even real. If the tingling on my skin is anything to go by, then it most definitely was real. While I'm pleased I didn't freak out, I'm also a bit worried that I didn't panic. Yes, it took me by surprise, but my reaction wasn't like it used to be. I know I trust Eli more, but he pushed a boundary just then and I didn't have a complete meltdown. Is that the drugs or my trust for Eli showing through? I contemplate this as I fall asleep.
Eli
I can't believe I almost let that slip. I was just about to tell Dani how beautiful she actually is, but I don't know how well that would be received. I don't think she'll think I'm like all of the other men, but I know that's what they used to tell her before they abused her. While she probably won't think I'm going to do anything like that, I don't want her to associate the two things, especially after just talking about the memories. I will tell her, but not like that. It's not the right time or the right way to do it.
My momma has just put the coffee on when I step into the kitchen. My pops isn't downstairs yet, so I greet my mom and ask her for something to do.
“You can cut the fruit. Dani still asleep?”
“Yes ma'am. I thought she could do with some extra sleep. What are your plans today?”
“I have a few showings I need to do around lunch time. It'll take me a few hours I think. I really need to get through some paper work at the office as well, so I might pop in and do that too. What are you up to?”
“Don't know yet. I might see if Ash is about for a sparring session. Is pops working?”
“Yes. Night shift though, so he starts at 5.”
“Ok. Mom, Dani wants to sell her apartment. She doesn't want to go back there...”
“I thought as much. You're both welcome to stay here as long as you want or need to. You don't even need to ask.”
“I was going to suggest moving in to my apartment, but I don't think she'll feel safe enough there. Do you think you could find somewhere for us? Somewhere not too far from here?”
She eyes me suspiciously and then asks, “Have you spoken to Dani about that? Moving in together might scare her a bit...”
“We practically live together already. We have done for a long time now.”
“While that may be true, you've both had your separate apartments to go to should anything happen. Where is she supposed to go if she gets scared? If you both sell your apartments, then where do you go if she gets scared or either of you need some space? I don't know all that happened, but I do know that young lady gets frightened. I know that her life isn't a normal one and she needs careful handling. What happens if selling both properties is too much for her? Maybe you should discuss it with her properly before asking me to look, huh?”
“I will, I promise. She knows I'm going to ask you to sell her place. I just don't see the point in paying for an apartment I'm never in.”
“I know and I understand that, son. But you need to talk to Dani about this. I know this isn't what people class as a 'normal' relationship, but there are some things you have to do the normal way. Talk to her first, ok?”
“Yes ma'am.”
I help my ma cook up a huge breakfast. If there's one thing this woman likes to do, it's make vast amounts of food. She also likes making us eat it too, but that's never been something she's had to force me to do. It's well over an hour before all the food is ready. My pops appears just as I'm setting the table so I quickly finish and tell him I'm going to get Dani.
I quietly enter the bedroom, just in case Dani is still asleep. Thankfully, she is and she looks a little more peaceful than she did earlier. That was my plan when I kissed her nose. I know she's more comfortable with me kissing her forehead, but I've never tried anything else. I wanted to test the boundaries and see what her reaction would be, I also wanted to show her a little affection and I wanted to distract her from her previous thoughts in the hope she'd be able to sleep. It seems to have worked and I let out a sigh of relief. The plan could have backfired so easily and then I'd have ruined everything.
I whisper Dani's name to try to wake her. I don't want to sit on the bed and scare her, so I wait for her to wake up before asking, “Hey, how did you sleep?”
“Ok.”
“No bad dreams?”
“A little, but not terrible.”
“Good. Breakfast is ready, whenever you want to come out.”
“Ok. I need to wash up.”
I lay on the bed with my eyes closed while Dani uses the bathroom. She looks a bit more rested and relaxed when she appears again and we have a nice breakfast with my parents.