Updates would be getting tricky for me, I hope you guys understand. I got a new work schedule where I work at 11pm to 7 am and I have college. Sucks but I gotta bring home the bacon yo. (Though, I don't like bacon >.<!)
Anyway, enjoy reading! :D
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Hate Me, Love Me:
Chapter Fourteen: When the Bookworm Teams up with a Cunning Wolf
|PART TWO|
During the whole day I couldn’t wrap my head around what Josh said.
I tried to forget about our conversation but I couldn’t. It was like my mind wanted me to be miserable and concur on various scenarios on who Kat really was. Was this the reason why Ivan didn’t want me to associate with any skinheads whatsoever? Did he know what Kat does for a living? They were best friends, after all, so he must’ve known. He knew yet he let her inside our house, throwing caution to the wind. I groaned softly, running my fingers through my hair. I was trying to do study for my AP Chemistry test in the library where I would get peace and quiet but unfortunately, my mind was anything but.
I could hear Josh’s words screaming in my mind, bashing those formulas out of the way and forcing me to remember what we discuss. He was a leech, feeding on my fear. I was angry at myself to allow Josh to control that situation instead of me. He punched me in the face for crying out loud! Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Why did I always let myself cower in fear than grow a backbone? It was pathetic of me to let people walk all over me. Shirley and Celeste had done it but have I learned my lesson? Apparently not when Josh has done as well.
“Why are you doing this?” I recall asking Josh as he led me to my Spanish class once the bell had rung.
“Because she fucked with the wrong people, Mabel,” he dug his fingers into my arm, pulling me closer to his side. “Kat thinks she high and mighty but she isn’t. She’s just like her father. A cold blooded killer.”
Her father? Was Kat’s father a killer as well? I could faintly remember Josh snapping at Kat on how she’s going to end up in jail like her father. Was her father in jail for murdering someone?
“A-and how are you going to show me?” I asked timidly, our steps slowing down as we neared my class.
Josh looked down at me and smirked, viciously. “Friday night. I’ll pick you up and show you that the rumors spreading around about Riley’s cousin are true.” He was ready to head to his class but quickly swiveled around, pushing me against the lockers with his hand wrapped around my throat. His friends quickly surrounded him, keeping other students from witnessing. “If you tell anyone about this, I won’t hesitate in doing much more than bruising your face, Mabel. Do you understand?”
Fear froze every cell of my body as I watched his eyes fill with a murderous rage. The fake politeness he had shown had melted away the moment he turned around. I don’t know how someone like him could posses such anger, it was frightening. And here I was, under his control, drinking in my fear as his hand tightened its hold on my neck making it seem how fragile I was.
“Do you fucking understand, Mabel?” He spat out, digging my head deeper into the locker causing me to whimper again.
“Y-yes,” I choked out, meekly.
And like a switch, a smirk broke out on his face and the rage he possessed his eyes vanished. He let go of my throat and stepped back and that movement, his friends dispersed and they all began to head to class leaving me in a blanket of fear…
I rubbed the back of my head, wincing at the painful bump that appeared after Josh had done that. Josh never once paid attention to me during any year in high school. Even when I befriended Shirley and Celeste, he never once batted his eyelashes my way. But when I met Riley and Evelyn and intervened with his confrontation with Kat, it seems his sights were trained on me now. I was scared out of my wits and I knew his control on me would never loosened until his satisfied with my dawning of who Kat Blacksmith is.
Truthfully, I wanted to cry. I wanted to release all the fear that was inside of me into tears but I couldn’t. How would I explain to anyone including Ivan as to why I was crying. His employees came to school here and if they saw me crying, they would immediately tell Ivan. What if they saw me with Josh? My heart squeezed out painfully at the realization dawned on me. Ivan wouldn’t be happy if he knew I was in two feet distance between the guy who punched me in the face.
Another groan escaped my lips and I covered my face with my hands, unable to concentrate on anything but on my fear. This isn’t what I wanted. I may have wished for a lifestyle I could actually be normal instead of feeling like an outcast but this is far different. I was being threatened and I was slowly falling for a woman who may or may not have blood on her hands.
The shrilling sound of the bell announced that Lunch was over. I quickly put away my things in my bag and left the library. I tried my best to blend in with the students and head towards my class but it seemed it fail because one minute I was following the flow and the next, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the girls’ restroom. A scream was clawing up my throat as I heard the door being shut closed and I looked at the two girls who had left during that miserable blind date.
I couldn’t help it but be angry at them. Why? Because instead of apologizing to me for leaving me, they were grinning like maniacs as they clapped their hands in joy and said in unison,
“Why didn’t you tell us you were into Josh Hamilton?!”
I was about to respond but Shirley quickly cut me off as she grasp my shoulders and shook me lightly.
“Is he the one you’ve been kissing and not telling us?”
My face burned red in embarrassment. If only they knew I was actually kissing a possible killer. Seeing my flaming face, Shirley and Celeste’s eyes glimmered with excitement mistaking my blush for something else. Something they thought to be a false crush for Josh. I shuddered, repulsed by that thought.
“Oh my god,” Celeste bounced, her blond curls shimmered like sunlight underneath the fluorescent lights. “I can’t believe you like Josh!”
“No, I don’t--”
“You can’t lie to us, Mabel. We’re your best friends,” Shirley smirked.
And that’s where I had enough.
“First, I don’t like Josh. I don’t know where you got the idea where I liked him because I don’t. Just because you see me talking with him or any other guy doesn’t mean I like him. Second, you guys shouldn’t call yourself as my ‘best friends’ because best friends don’t ditch each other during a blind date where they had promised they’ll be there to the end. I am not like you guys who think about boys 24/7 nor do I get excited like idiots at the mention of a party. I am sick and tired of you guys thinking you know perfectly well because you don’t.”
My chest was heaving up and down rapidly as I said all that in one breath. I wasn’t surprised to see Shirley and Celeste gaping at me, stunned. I actually felt relieved to let that out. Maybe I was actually growing a backbone after all. Not bothering to wait what they had to say, I quickly left the restroom and hurried to my class, not noticing a familiar bald headed girl holding onto the door of the restroom.
When I had gotten home from school, I was relieved that Ivan wasn’t home. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him about how my day was. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be in my safe haven I called my room. I wanted to smother myself with books and be in that peaceful state but I knew my mind won’t let me. I would be anxious when Friday came. I would be too deep in speculation of Kat and her daily life that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the words.
I threw myself on the couch, taking pleasure in being in a soft surface. It had been too much for one day. Having Josh watch my every move as I went to my classes knowing full well that I wouldn’t utter a word to Riley and Evelyn about his threat. It was unnerving to have eyes scorching my back. Before when I was an outcast and no one paid no attention to me, I felt safe in a way. Apart from being thrown pity by those who heard the news of my parents’ death, no one watched my every move. How I wished to have that life again where my only concern was if I would be able to have enough money from my allowance to buy new books from Margaret’s Bookstore.
The sudden sound of heavy knocking snapped me out of my thoughts, frightening me to the point of falling off the couch. Thank god we had carpet flooring or else I would have gotten a concussion if it was wooden flooring from that fall. As I got up to my feet, I looked at the clock next to the TV to see that it was close to four, confusing me. Ivan usually gets home a little after seven. Who could be outside?
What if it’s Josh?
That thought threw ice cold fear down my spine as I halted my steps. My hand that was dragging along the couch tightened and I gaped at the wooden door with fear stricken eyes. Josh doesn’t know where I lived but what if he followed me to give me a taste of his threat? What if he decided to show me today of Kat and her…profession? Swallowing hard, I slowly approached the door where another round of heavy knocking rapped against it.
“W-who is it?” My voice cracked showing the amount of fear I was feeling.
“Mabel, open up,” a female voice replied.
My shoulders sagged in relief when I heard Evelyn’s voice and quickly opened the door for her. Her brown eyes were trained on me, lazily looking me over before she brought her eyes to mine. She welcomed herself inside and made a beeline towards the kitchen.
“Well, come on in,” I muttered, closing the door and locking it.
I followed the sound of the fridge being opened and closing. As I entered the kitchen I saw Evelyn drinking a can of soda and opening a new package of Chips Ahoy!. Her features were hard and expressionless like always. There was nothing off about her but my eyes quickly zeroed in on the redness of her knuckles.
“What happened to your hands?” I asked her, not at all surprised that she shrugged.
“You have a hard door to knock on,” she said, her brown eyes flickered to me before she hopped onto the counter and began to eat the chocolate cookies.
“I’m serious, Evelyn. What happened?”
“Nothing bad, Mabel. I didn’t kill anyone if that’s what you’re wondering about.”
My body stiffened at the mention of her killing someone. Thank god, she wasn’t paying any attention to me only on the cookies as she continued to eat them.
“Now, let’s talk about something,” Evelyn’s voice hardened as she set the cookies aside and faced me. Her brown eyes narrowing on me, “What were you doing with Josh in the morning? Did he do something to you?”
I wanted to sooth my neck, the memory of him choking me brought more fear to take vacancy in my mind. The way those dark eyes filled with so much sadistic rage and his threat of beating me made me hold back a shudder. If Evelyn found out that Josh threatened me to not utter a word, I knew she would make her knuckles way worse as they are now. Josh wanted to show me who Kat was and I knew if I told Evelyn or Riley to tell me, they wouldn’t.
“Well?” Evelyn’s hard voice snapped me out of my thoughts, taking in a firm edge to it.
What could I say to Evelyn to make her believe me? She wasn’t someone you could fool easily and I wouldn’t want to see the other side of her where she’s angry. I’ve seen what she’s done to Gladys. Evelyn is unexpected yet she’s calculative. She would attack when you don’t expect it.
“Mabel,” the warning was loud in her voice and I took a tentative step back.
“U-umm, he told me if Celeste was dating anyone,” I lied, hoping she would believe it. If she didn’t, I would be a panic mess. “H-his friend--” Dammit, I don’t know what his friends’ names were!
“Spare me the details,” Evelyn curled her lip in disgust bringing a huge relief onto me. “I don’t care if Josh or his friends are panting over your pathetic friends.”
“I-I don’t think they’re my friends anymore--”
“I know! Such a bold move you made, Mabel. I’m proud of you.”
I was stunned to hear that from Evelyn. She was proud of me for standing up for myself? Do people congratulate that? It was foreign to be given a pat on the back for that and I think Evelyn knew that because she rolled her eyes, sighing as if I was being difficult with her. What was she expecting from me? A giddy jump in my step?
“It’s a good thing you did that, Mabel,” she said, hopping off the counter and approached me. “You’re beginning to gain confidence that you lost long ago.”
Confidence.
That’s what I desperately wanted. I wanted to be confident and face the world instead of bowing my head and walk around afraid of judgment. I gained confidence when I was around Riley and Evelyn. They gave me that hope that I’ll be as confident as them. It was a beautiful moment to realize that but it seemed to crack a little when I remember what Josh had told me. If Riley and Evelyn were considered my friends, they would have told me what Kat does in her spare time. They would have told me I was kissing a killer, wouldn’t they?
I was in a pool of confusion and thanked the stars that Evelyn didn’t catch that. Instead, she smiled at me and asked if we were on good terms since I avoided her and Riley the whole day.
“Yeah,” I smiled back at her. “We’re good.”
“Good ‘cause I don’t think I could stand another day of Riley moping around and asking me every damn minute if we did something wrong.”
“You guys did nothing wrong. I just needed to study for my Chemistry test.” That was a half-lie though Evelyn seemed to believe it again and I felt guilt squeeze my heart.
How many lies could I tell her until it all blows up in the end? The last thing I wanted was to lose the new friends I gained.
“It’s cool, Mabel,” Evelyn patted my head and started her way towards the door. “I just wanted to make sure if we’re good and the whole deal with Josh. I’ll let you be and see you at school tomorrow.”
“Okay. Bye…”
Evelyn waved at me before leaving. The sound of the door closing brought back the realization of Josh being at school tomorrow and every damn day. If he saw me with Evelyn and Riley he would think I told him. But if he saw no changes between those two, he would realize that I didn’t open my mouth. It sounded plain and simple as well as painless.
~*~*~*~
The whole school week, I wasn’t bothered by Josh. He kept his distance after he saw me with Evelyn and Riley and when I made sure I didn’t tell them anything. Apparently, Josh was good on his threats but stupid to the obvious when it came to me. Though, that didn’t stop him from watching my every move. Each time I saw him in the hallway, he would come up to me and whisper in my ear about the remaining days until Friday came. It frightened me to be reminded everyday of what’s going to happen.
Now as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, gripping the edges of the sink tightly, I felt the nerves spiraling inside of me. I had desperately wished for Friday to never come. I didn’t want Josh to show me anything relating to Kat. It was better when I was oblivious and my crush on Kat was growing each day. I wanted Kat’s kisses instead of these thoughts echoing in my mind day and night. Why couldn’t Josh bother someone else? I was just another student in Nashua High School wanting to graduate and be accepted to my dream university. Shouldn’t he be occupying his girlfriend’s time instead of mine?
I hadn’t see much of Gladys, now that I think about it. She had changed Computers class that I shared with Riley and her to different periods. I didn’t see her during Lunch or in the hallways. Maybe I was too deep in my thoughts that I hardly noticed what’s been going on.
“Hey, Mabel,” Ivan’s voice rang through the hall and I stepped out of my bathroom into my room where he appeared.
“Yeah?”
Ivan glanced at me, his eyebrows furrowing together, “You’re going out?”
If you tell anyone about this, I won‘t hesitate in doing much more than bruising your face…
I shuddered, Josh’s words were like poison to me. The fear of having to spend my Friday night with him alone would probably be the death of me. Swallowing back the fear, I plastered on a smile on my face, hoping Ivan didn’t see any traces of dread.
“Yeah,” the lie escaping my mouth tasted like venom. “I’m actually going to…the movies with Shirley and Celeste.”
Ivan frowned at the mention of the girls and I could almost hear an argument brewing. Before he could tell me why I continued to be friends with them, I quickly cut him off.
“They’re already waiting for me, so I best be going.”
“O-okay,” his eyebrows furrowed together as he followed me out the front door. He stopped me from leaving by grabbing onto my shoulder, his big brother act on full sight. “Call me if anything happens, got it? I don’t want you coming home with another bruise.”
My body tensed a little as more ounces of fear flowed through me at the mention of getting another bruise. Josh would do more than a single bruise and I don’t want to even imagine what he could do if I told Ivan what was planned for tonight. Josh wanted no one to find out that he was taking me to see Kat and if I did, tonight wouldn’t happen and I assume Kat would hunt down Josh after he dealt with me.
“Don’t worry,” I gave his hand a squeeze. “I will.”
I gave him a hug before I began to make my way where Josh told me he would be waiting; away from Ivan’s eye. Each step I took, I felt like I was dragging myself deeper into the ocean. I was forcing myself to drown on the curiosity of what was Kat Blacksmith. I allowed that part to get the best of me and was teaming up with Josh to sedate this curiosity. I was stupid and naïve to allow myself to follow the crumbs of bread Josh was laying out for me.
This night could turn out in two ways. One was Josh’s truth about Kat killing people becoming a dark reality or having this backfired and putting me in the line of fire where I would meet Josh’s anger and Kat’s as well. It was too much on my plate for me to handle and I was scared out of my wits. I spotted Josh leaning against a black Nissan with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. His black attire matched his heart. If I wasn’t walking towards my death, then I would laugh at that but tonight was nowhere near funny jokes.
“For a second, I thought you wouldn’t show,” Josh mused, his dark eyes assessed me making me uncomfortable.
“You insisted to show me,” I told him, hating the way my voice was soft - fear evident for him to hear it.
“It was more of a threat, Mabel. Don’t try to sugarcoat it,” he chuckled, walking around the car to the driver’s side. “Get in. It’s start at 7.”
What?
I quickly got in, securing myself with the seatbelt as Josh didn’t hesitate to wait for me to be secured because as soon as he turned on the car, he stepped on the gas.
“What’s starts at 7?” I asked him, clutching onto my seat in fear. How long would I be swimming in fear tonight?
He was going too fast, expertly zooming around the cars. His posture was care-free, couldn’t he be at least bit scared that he might crash?!
“Where your illusion of Kat shatters,” was all he said as he entered the highway, leaving me only confused.
The whole car ride was silent and awkward for me. I mainly looked out the window seeing vast amount of trees and cars driving down the lanes. New Hampshire - and probably everywhere in the world - was where you needed a car to get to places. It wasn’t like New York City where McDonalds’ is in every corner or major brand stores a few blocks away. The highways were the routes to take you to your destination. Even to school, you take the highway. It was complicated for someone like me who still hasn’t gotten their driver’s license.
Daylight was conquered by night once Josh had exited the highway and drove towards a part of town known as the Drunk Man’s Paradise. Bars, billiards, strip clubs, and prostitutes ran this place. A long row of motorcycles were parked against the curb and I could see a few biker guys standing outside of Clover Bar smoking. Women cladded in leather were wrapped around those men, laughing and taking drags of their cigarettes. As Josh continued to drive down the street, I found myself in awe.
This place was only described in books. The forbidden place where bad lurks. This is where most main characters’ love interests hang out. Where drugs and violence were a part of the town. I had never thought I would come across this place yet here I was being brought into by none other than Josh Hamilton. It was surreal seeing neon lights glowing in the night with loud laughter almost sounding like music and a few drunkards passed out on the street. Heavily built bouncers stood in the entrance of every bar and club either dealing with a drunk or allowing a few people inside.
Soon enough, Josh parked the car in front of a bar called O’Charley’s. Unlike the other bars we passed by, there was no bikers standing around outside taking a smoke break or any drunks. There were two bouncers leaning against the archway, talking avidly with each other.
“What are we doing here?” I asked Josh once he turned off the car.
“This is my uncle’s bar,” he answered, his dark eyes flickering outside the window before meeting mine. “I said I’ll show you not tell you, Mabel.”
A smirk tugged at his lips and he quickly got out of the car and I followed suit. He came around towards me and grabbed my hand which I found odd. The feel of his hand wrapped around mine made my skin crawl. After all, he threatened to beat the crap out of me if I uttered a word to anyone. I was expecting for Josh to walk towards the bouncers but it seemed going inside the bar wasn’t the plan. It left me confused as he continue to walk towards the alleyway next to the bar. I looked over my shoulders towards the bouncers who hardly seemed fazed by our appearances.
“I thought we were going inside the bar,” I voiced out my confusion only to get a chuckle from Josh.
“Eager much for a drink?”
“I don’t drink,” I deadpanned.
“After this, you would be wishing for one,” he muttered.
Confusion settled on my features once again as he dragged me towards the back entrance of the bar where two men - much less muscular than the bouncers - stood positioned in front of a dark green door dressed in black suits and looking stoic and intimidating as ever. The man on the right with the thick sideburns stepped back and leaned against the wall as his eyes were trained on Josh while the other man lit up his cigarette, hardly acknowledging us.
“I don’t think this is the perfect place to impress the lady, Josh,” the man smoking glanced towards us, his eyes void of anything.
“It’s best to show her the real deal,” Josh replied as he stepped forward, gripping my hand tightly, towards the green door.
“I feel sorry for you, Miss,” the same man solemnly said, ignoring Josh’s glare.
He opened the door and we both entered. The sound of the door closing behind us sealed my fate in ever turning back. This is what my hungry curiosity wanted. I descended down the stairs, following Josh who seemed unbothered by the loud noises coming from below us. It sounded like cheering and a louder voice being muffled by the walls. I could still feel the fear stalking behind me as I blindly followed Josh towards the bottom of the stairs where a hallway opened up. At the end of the hall was two large doors where another pair of men were positioned at. They were burly and dressed in suits. Their thick arms were crossed over their chests, watching us like hawks.
The fluorescent lights above us sometimes flickered and I could almost hear light jazz music being played. My heart was pounding in my chest frenziedly and I didn’t care if I was leaning towards Josh for reassurance but I was afraid. I grew closer to him as we came to a stop to the burly men, my hand squeezing Josh’s.
“This ain’t no place for kids,” the dark skinned man stated. “Run along and go to your own age appropriate parties.”
“Shut up, Simon,” Josh spat out, pushing pass the men who laugh at their own inside joke.
When those doors opened, I was slapped with utter shock. My expectation to come across a run down place where Kat might be seen in was knocked out by the reality of this place. Well dressed people sat in tables being served by waiters and waitresses as the audience watched with vicious glee at the middle of the room where an octagon shaped stage separating the audience with a chain-linked fence. My ears rang with the loud cheering and an announcer practically screaming in the microphone as I watched two men fighting in the cage. Blood and violence was what these people craved for. Some were waving wads of money in the air, bidding for either of the fighters who continue to fight, not caring that their faces were bloody.
Josh pulled me towards the upper level of the room where a waiter patiently waited for us to be seated. While Josh ordered for us, I continued to look around the room. Most of the audiences were men with bodyguards. A few had women with them. A loud cheering grabbed my attention towards the platform where the fighter in the red shorts was straddling his opponent and continuously pounded his face in. Loud curses from my right told me that they bided on the wrong fighter.
“Shouldn’t a referee break them up?” I asked Josh who was watching the fight.
He smirked at me, “This isn’t your typical fight match, Mabel. This is where you fight to the death.”
Oh, no.
I looked back at the octagon where the fighter in the red shorts grabbed his opponent’s head and snapped his neck. My hands flew to my mouth, hearing the loud cheering and the announcer congratulated the winner. I thought the winner would be dancing around in victory just like the people who bidded on him but I thought wrong. The winner looked dejected, hardly feeling like a winner. He walked off the ring without a glance back. I was beginning to feel pity for each fighter who entered the octagon. They were either live another day or simply live their last.
Why would Josh bring me here?
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer spoke up, a ring of exhilaration was heard in his voice. “The fight you’ve all been waiting for. Having won 17 matches this month, start your bidding as the Undefeated, the Unbreakable, Kat Vicious fights off Hinesburg’s very own Luke Van Dee!”
And that’s where it all dawned on me.
At this moment where I watched those close to me write down the amount of money they would spend and gave the checks to the waiters. They didn’t care who died tonight as long as they bidded on the right person. All I could think about as I watched the flooring of the octagon being cleaned up was that Josh was right.
Kat did kill people.
But it was far from what I imagined.
She did it to survive another day.
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Didn't expect that right? I bet you guys thought it would just be like some gang shit but yOU THOUGHT WRONG!
I haven't done this for a long time (since I used to write The Kissing Game chapters) but...
QUESTION OF THE DAY!
What do you think of what brought Kat into this dark lifestyle in cage fighting? Does it relate to her dad being in jail?
Comment your answers below! :DD
\m/