chapter seventeen • broken
warning; rip lella
☠ ☠ ☠
"Ella I sent the fucking roses."
My eyes widen as I stopped and turned my body towards him. "You what?" I said as the frustration in my face was evident, "You sent them?"
"No," Michael said backing up, "Well yes... But no. Only like two of them. After you told me about the roses, um and I had that crush on you, I sent a few. But I promise I wasn't the one who started the whole roses shit."
I calmed down a bit as I processed what he had said. "Which did you send?" I asked roughly.
"Uh, I don't know.." He said drifting off, "I don't get why you're mad though.
"Think harder; which did you send?" I asked again.
"Only like two," Michael said, "The one about um 'no more cutting' and the one with mayday parade lyrics about your eyes, yeah."
I nodded as I thought back to the roses. Suddenly, I had a thought, a thought that made me feel like a complete idiot. The roses had different handwriting, I couldn't remember exactly what they were like but I remember some were easier to read than others. "Why'd you send them?"
Michael shrugged leaning against the wall, "First off; I didn't want you to cut. Two; I had a crush on you, it seemed cute..."
"So if you didn't send the rest, who did?" I asked scratching my head. Not fully believing Michael when he send he didn't send them all.
"Calum." Michael said seeming certain.
"No, it's not him."
"How do you know? He's in love with you so, it seems logical." Michael said and shrugged.
"It's not. Just trust me." I said. "Shit, I forgot about Luke." I said rushing to the elevator before Michael could say anything else.
I honestly had no idea how I felt about the roses.
Any other girl would probably be flattered and extremely happy to be recieving the roses, but for some odd reason it bothered me. A reason I couldn't even comprehend, all I knew is that I wanted them to stop.
"Lucas?" I said knocking on his door, which he did not answer. I knocked a couple more times but to no avail, Luke was still lost and I was still worried.
I did the next logical thing, call him. After five rings he answered, "What?
"Lukey, are you okay?" I asked waiting for a response. I waited a while but he remained silent. "Luke?" I asked. But no reply. I checked the call to see if he had hung up, he hadn't. "Lucas Fucking Hemmings say something."
"Can you just not worry about me anymore?" Luke asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked puzzled, if anyone should be mad it should be me.
"Stop worrying about me, Ella. I don't want you to. I've got to go my own way, and you've got to go yours." Luke said.
"What the fuck are you even talking about? This isn't High School Musical." I retorted roughly, "Where are you?"
"Ella, listen to me, don't come get me, don't try to find me. Stop." Luke said and I stood outside his home in complete confusion. Luke was surely bipolar, one day he was in love with me, the next he wanted me as far away from me as possible.
"Luke, I'm not going to leave you alone, okay? Tell me where you are or I swear to God I will-" I started saying before Luke cut me off.
"You'll what?" Luke asked. "I'm not telling you where I am Ella."
I groaned and stayed quiet. I thought about all the places Luke was likely to go. His apartment being last. I remember a few days ago he had taken me to the roof because he liked to watch the cars pass by. And he told me being up there was relaxing. So, that's where I went. "Luke, why are you acting so different?" I asked through the phone as I walked up the stairs.
"I'm not." Luke said softly through the phone. I sighed and continued walking up until I reached the roof. As I opened the door, I saw Luke sitting close to edge.
He didn't realise I had come in, or I had even known where he was. "Luke, turn around," I said through the phone. He turned and groaned walking over to me.
"I told you not to come," He said as he stood next to me. Luke avoided eye contact with me, he kept his eyes fixed on the building infront of us.
"And I told you I wasn't going to leave you." I said, "Now tell me why you're acting so insane."
"I want you to stay away from me, Ella." Luke said finally looking into my eyes. "I don't think we... You know what, just stay far away from me and I'll stay far away from you, okay?"
"Not okay. I don't want you to stay away from me. Why are you trying to keep me away from you? I know I'm shit but I thought we we're good friends?" I said with a puzzled expression.
What was Luke trying to do? How could he just change opinions like that? One day, we were amazing friends, then the next he wanted me to stay as far away from his as possible. It made no sense. I needed Luke, I needed him to be there for me, and he needed me to be there for him. And I had Calum, but Luke had no one. No one knew about how messed up he truly was on the inside. And he wasn't going to tell anyone, no one to make sure he didn't hurt himself, or hate himself. Luke never left me and I sure as hell had no plan in leaving him.
"You're not shit. You're perfect. You're gorgeous, and funny, and nice, and I'm in love with you." Luke said intwining his fingers with mine. "I'm in love with you, and I really want to be with you. And I wish you didn't have Calum. And I wish you weren't in love with him. But I understand Calum's all in one piece, emotionally, and he's not completely broken as I am. And you need someone who will fix you, and it was stupid of me to think I could ever fix you when I'm more broken than you are."
"Luke, stop." I said holding his hand harder. "Maybe I love Calum, in a different way than I love you, but it doesn't mean I love you just as much. And you're wrong, you've helped me, and I need you. Anyways, it'd be pretty hard for us to stay away from eachother since we do live right next to eachother, and we are in the same circle of friends. Just drop it."
Luke sighed, "It's better for you and better for me, if we just stayed away from each other, okay? I'll be okay, and you'll be okay." Luke said.
I shook my head, and tried to say something before Luke began talking again.
"Can I kiss you?" Luke asked moving a little bit closer. Every second I didn't say anything, he got closer, his face only centimeters from mine.
"I'm going to cry." I whispered.
"If I kiss you?" Luke whispered in an almost soothing voice, with his lips still dangerously close to mine. He seemed to grow this unwavering sense of confidence within a few seconds. He still had one of his hands intwined with mine, and he raise his other to my chin. His index finger rested under my chin, as he traced my lips with his thumb softly.
"No, if you decide that you want to stay away from me. You promised you wouldn't leave." I whispered tears threatning to leave my eyes. "You should know I'm not strong. I cry about everything, and I can't handle people leaving, are you really going to be one of them?"
"Don't cry, princess." Luke said in a hushed voice, laying his forehead on mine. "You'll be okay."
Without another word, Luke layed his lips on mine, and I let him.
☠ ☠ ☠
author's note
ive began to hate mella but mianna is cool tbh
maybe luke is on his period
ella keeps cheating wth @ ella
is lella dead now or ((bc lukes running away from her lol @ her))
spinoff chapter one is up, go comment so i dont feel like a loser <3
okay in the spinoff i started by saying when they met and stuff but i dont wanna retell this story all over again so im gonna skip to a little further and then the spinoff is just gonna take a different turn from this story okay yay
i think this chapter makes up for the previous terrible chapters lol <3
anyway i love you guys yay
adios <3