Tuesday, May 27
Once.
That had been the mutual agreement we'd come to that night.
And somehow, when I awoke with stiff joints, aching limbs and an unforgiving pain between my legs as if I'd participated in a biking marathon, I knew that this wouldn't be our last encounter.
I still felt his very essence within my veins - his scent lingering on my skin and taste of his body on my lips, right on the tip of my tongue.
I subconsciously held my breath, my gaze drifting off into space when I thought about him - just thinking about that night made me feel like I'd been missing out on such a blissful feeling my entire life.
I remember waking up that same morning, my head pounding - most likely from the alcohol we'd consumed that night when we got back to my place - and my body had literally been sore everywhere. I had struggled to move to get comfortable, nearly jumping out of my skin when someone's arm tightened around me.
I peeked open one eye in response, looking over to my left to see that Colt had his arm wrapped around my waist like a deadweight.
I sighed at the sight of him, sighing now again as I reminisced.
The vivid image was irreplaceable.
His disheveled, dirty blonde sex hair nuzzled into my pillow, pale skin contrasting so much with my olive tone and his lips remained partially opened as he snored, appearing deep pink and frail against his skin.
More than anything, I yearned to see the beautiful blue pair of eyes I fancied nearly as much as his other anatomies. And when they finally opened, I couldn't break away my gaze.
He was like a dream.
"Vee?"
I was snapped out of my revere in a split second, feeling her eyes on my dazed profile.
"Uh, yeah? Sorry, I am just so tired today, it's unbelievable."
Stella raised her eyebrows, looking down at my hand that held my napkin with a tight grip. I let it go immediately, throwing the napkin into the plate where I'd just finished a slice of Alberto's pizza.
"You should've got his number," she sang, standing with her ice tea in hand. I grabbed my Coke as well, tossing my handbag over my shoulder promptly.
"It's not like that," I shook my head, looking out onto the busy London streets as we exited the pizza parlor.
London was like a breath of fresh air for me. I would've never guessed two years ago that I would've ever been here, standing with my best friend wearing a small smile on my face.
I was... Content, to say the most. Not exactly the happiest person, not the loneliest, but I was in a state of acceptance. This was my life now.
"It was a one time thing. After that morning, he left and that's that."
She hummed disapprovingly, shaking her head as she strut along beside me towards the small parking lot.
"I don't know, Vee," she quipped, giving me a serious look. "You guys... Slept with each other. This is sex we're talking about. I know it was one time but you barely know him and now you're thinking about him, like -"
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no," I cut her off with my abundant amount of no's, turning to look over at her with a grimace. "I'm telling you, El, it's not like that. We... Ugh, fuck, I'm stupid for sleeping with him, I know. It's not like me... But he's hot as fuck."
She quirked her eyebrow, her lips pursed in thought m. "He seemed like an arsehole."
I sighed. "Good looks and a cocky attitude - that's all there is to him. As for last night; all there was to that was lust. It's nothing more."
I wasn't lying. I really didn't want it to get to the point of where I'd be a booty call. That wasn't me at all. I was always more so the relationship type of girl. Well, I was. Now I liked to think of myself as a live-in-the-moment-fuck-what-they-think type of girl.
Either way, sleeping with someone I barely knew wasn't what I was about. But who the fuck knew what I was about, anymore? Who knew what I'd be up to tomorrow, or next month, next year?
I could've been in France or fucking married next year for all I knew at the rate I was going at. I was a riot. And I'd decided to embrace it rather than rebel against it like I'd tried to do all along.
"Okay, well, I hope you're making the right decision is all. Like, what happens if you see him the next time you and Ben hang out? What'll you do?"
I sighed, shrugging as we made our way to her silver Kia.
"I really want to say that nothing will happen, because it was a one night stand," I whispered, stopping at the passenger door to elaborate.
She looked over at me from the other side of the car, her warm brown eyes, her lips curled in attentiveness. "But?"
"But... I can't lie, Stella, I just - I feel like I did something really wrong, by letting myself sleep with someone I barely knew and only a week after sleeping with Avan. This isn't right, I'm not this person, I don't want to be that girl."
I looked down at the pavement for a second, feeling my throat tighten as the words left my mouth. "And then there's the side of me that would do it again if she had the chance. I don't regret it."
She nodded slowly, looking me directly in the eyes in such a way I felt like I was sixteen again, needing advice that I wouldn't pay much heed to anyway.
"You jumped at it because he was something new," she sympathized. "But it's better than what you used to do... At least you're not waking up beside a new guy every night, or worse - have multiple boyfriends each month. Val, just last week, you slept with Avan after waiting a while, and it wasn't what you wanted. You're trying here, and you finally got a taste of someone you do want. You're allowed to have choice, babe."
I sighed again, jutting out my bottom lip in a thoughtful pout. "Thank you. I just... You have no idea how badly I regret some of the things I've done. And I don't want to regret anything like that anymore and I don't want it to continue to the point of where I will regret it. I just want to fucking make good decisions and I want to... Be satisfied. But I feel like I'm being torn."
She didn't respond at first, instead she unlocked the doors and we both slid inside the car. She revved the engine to life and looked over at me patiently promptly after buckling in her seat belt.
I took a deep breath, knowing she expected me to make a final decision about this... Situation.
"So... I guess, if I do happen to see him again, he's not getting anything and I won't expect anything. That's how it's going to have to be, because right now I'm trying to do what I need to do. And that's stand on my own two feet right now."
She nodded, opening her arms for a hug. I embraced her over the console without hesitation, pulling back when she spoke.
"You know, you haven't spilled the dirty details about him yet. Did you think I'd forget?" she smiled, and I rolled my eyes.
"I just decided I was done with sleeping around and here you are -"
"Come on," she groaned, overdramatic as always, "just tell me. What's he like? A little sex talk wouldn't hurt anybody. Besides, I bet he's got quite the body on him... And other things."
My mouth dropped open in shock before I began laughing, unable to stop myself when she sent me a wink.
"Girl, you better be staying for dinner, I have so much to tell you."
She squealed with immature excitement, shaking her shoulders mischievously as she pulled out of the parking lot.
"So he's good, then?"
"Yeah, fuck, he's just..." I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering just how he felt pressed against my body, how his lips bruised my skin and movements fulfilled my every need. "He's very... Physical."
"Well, tell me how! What did he do? How did it happen? What'd he say the next morning?"
"He... Well, first it was in his car," I told her, suddenly sheepish. Stella's eyes widened and she slapped my thigh with a giggle.
"Oh, my gosh," she smiled, "and?"
"Then we came back to my place, we drank some more. I had Cîroc back in my apartment, so we had a few shots and we ended up naked all over again."
I sighed, looking out the window as I thought back to the small details of how he made me feel. It was unlike any other man I'd ever been with - he made me feel like a woman.
"He was just so rough with how he dominated me and handled my body like an expert - I've just never had anyone do that with me before. Of course, I was sore as fuck the next day and I still can't stand to open my legs to a certain extent... Then there's the hickeys. I've never used so much foundation in my entire life," I breathed, ranting.
Her mouth opened in surprise. "You let him do all of that?"
I bit my lip, glancing over at her with a smirk. "I wanted him to do all of that."
She began her giggle fit, making me smile.
She didn't understand just how whole I felt when he touched me. I mean, it was casual sex, but it was fucking the best sex I'd had in a while.
He knew all the little tricks and spots that had me writhing. He was strong, his body sculpted in such a muscular, yet slim way that I couldn't peel my eyes away from his physique. And he was so strong - with everything he did, he put in so much effort to make it the best experience possible for the both of us.
And his mouth. Fuck, that mouth had me squeezing my thighs together before they touched my skin. His words, his heavy accent and ravishing lips... They were similar to the effects of a gateway drug - I only wanted more.
Before I knew it, I was speaking again, my subconscious getting the best of my voice. "He put me where he wanted me, kissed me so hard my lips were swollen, he let his hands travel everywhere and I just..."
"Felt alive?" Stella finished for me, making me nod enigmatically.
"Yeah... Alive. I felt like he ignited my entire body and forget to put out the flames. I'm still recovering."
Her mouth fell open slightly, and when she spoke, I could easily detect the uncertainty. "And what was the morning like?"
I cocked my head to the side, remembering exactly how the morning went. I suppressed a smile, "Different."
I'd awaken to Colt groaning lightly, nuzzling his face deeper into my pillow before his eyes peeled open, the cerulean I'd been anticipating to see finally appearing before me in the most spiteful way.
"Trying to sneak away?" he'd grumbled, his morning voice making my breath hitch. I would never be able to get over his accent - it was rough yet so calming.
My lips had curved into an unwilling smile.
I laughed lightly, shaking my head. "No, didn't really feel like. I was hoping that maybe you'd let me treat you to breakfast first."
He smirked, stretching his arms out under the pillows while he yawned.
"I guess that would be okay," he'd shrugged, blinking away his sleepiness. "What time is it, anyway?"
I craned my neck around to the nightstand, squinting to read the clock.
"Twelve-oh-nine," I had said nonchalantly, and then I realized how much I had to do. "Fuck, I have so much to get done today."
He chuckled, his laugh shaking the bed. "Well, you better get up and goin' then, darlin'."
I had rolled my eyes at the way he called me darling, that too, without the G properly enunciated at the end. Blushing, I had grabbed my comforter and wrapping it around me as I stood to my wobbly feet.
"Oi, leaving your guest bare, eh?"
I turned to see Colt lying with his naked body on full display and his morning wood standing proud. My favorite part was that his signature grin remained, indicating his lack of shame.
Not that he had anything to be ashamed of.
"I think you look sexy like that, man," I had laughed, turning to go to the bathroom, "You -"
Literally out of nowhere, Colt came up behind me, pushing me up against the wall. I gasped, holding my breath while grasping onto the comforter for dear life.
"I've never stayed over at the lass' place and have them offer me breakfast," he told me, his eyes searching my face. "I've never given her reason to cover up afterwards, either."
"I guess I just happen to be an exception, then," I managed to say, my breaths ragged.
"No," he'd disagreed quickly, shaking his head. "You're just a little minx. You know exactly what you're doing."
I sucked in a breath, feeling his lips enclose on my sweet spot on my neck. He was so good at being a little seductive shit - he knew where to touch delicately and where to press his fingers into my soft flesh, having me writhe all the same.
But we'd agreed on a condition.
"Once," I almost didn't say, but the good in me compelled the lustful.
It was right at the moment he'd decided to swirl his tongue around his newly created hickey, the cool contrast of his tongue against my hot skin making me shiver. "You said once."
He had pulled back lazily, looking down at me with a cocky grin. It was then that I noticed the large difference in our height; he was towering over me in such a way that I felt somewhat... Guarded.
"Last night was not once, darlin'," he'd chuckled, his hands finding their way down to my exposed thigh. He gripped it in his hand, hitching it up on his hip.
I had winced at the feeling and I watched his eyes grow dark. "If it were once, you wouldn't be aching like you'd never been fucked properly," he said, his tone coming off harsh. "Don't think I didn't notice."
I hadn't responded, knowing that if I said one word I'd let him do things to me all over again.
He cocked his head to the side, studying me with a steady gaze. His eyes trailed over my face, beginning with my eyes, my nose, my lips.
They stayed glued to my lips before he tugged on the comforter, allowing it to drop to the floor.
I swallowed, feeling confident, yet so exposed under his gaze. His eyes continued their voyage, skimming past my chest and down my body, to my legs. I shivered at the cool air surrounding us, not daring myself to move away from his grip on my thigh.
Suddenly, his fingers were brushing over my tattoo on my ribs, right under the curve of my breast, tracing the scripture with his callused fingertips.
"You are... A piece of work," he'd breathed, pressing his thumb harder into my flesh. He took a step back with a frown, walking off to leave me to catch my breath.
"I hope you make a good cup of coffee," he said, his voice booming. I cringed, the pounding in my head becoming worse. "Oh, and I'll need a toothbrush, yeah?"
I shook my head at Stella, thinking back to how my body looked that morning; bruised and beautifully intensified by the hands of a man I knew nearly nothing about.
My lips were swollen and a very deep pink color, while my skin glowed with satisfaction. Then I really took a look at my skin.
I had hickeys scattered mercilessly across my neck, chest and breasts and my eyes had small, dark rings of exhaustion around them.
My thighs had a few on the outer areas and my had red fingerprints decorating my skin like tattoos.
"Y'know," he'd started to say as he sipped his coffee at the table, looking over at where I stood with my cup of tea.
He raised from his seat, making his way over to me like a predator circling his prey, his eyes locked on my stance and voice sadistic. He set his mug on the table, raising a hand to trace the endless amount of hickeys bearing the flesh of my neck.
"I've never been with a girl ever made me do this, either."
That should've sent flashing signals in my head to put a stop to this, but for some reason, to be the first girl he'd marked so possessively intrigued me.
I couldn't help but allow him to take my tea and set it beside his coffee before he was kissing me like I was his to claim.
I didn't stop him.
"So he was the best you've ever had, then?" El's voice pulled me from my reverie.
I exhaled deeply, "You could say that."
***
I frowned, hearing my phone blare the incredibly bizarre song Ben set as my ringtone for when he called, which just happened to be the song I always promised to listen to fully but never did. This caused him to call me a 'hypocrite', as he put it, because the ringtone I made him set for me was a song by Shaggy.
I couldn't help but crack a smile as I searched around me, my eyes glazing around the kitchen to find the damn thing as I stirred the tomato sauce for my dinner.
The ringtone cut off suddenly and I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion. Setting the stove on low, I strode over to the living room, my eyes scanning the area before I noticed it sitting on the arm of my sofa.
I hadn't spoken to Ben since Saturday, so I was glad he was calling so we'd be able to have a decent conversation. I knew Ben wasn't upset about me leaving with Colt that night, but I had my doubts when I hadn't heard from him in a few days.
But it was strange that his call cut off so abruptly. I grabbed my phone, unlocking it and clicking on Ben's name on my favorites list.
I wasn't ashamed nor easily offended when it came to Ben. He was a good friend and he knew me well enough to know I wouldn't let him go so easily, even if he was angry that I slept with Colt.
I was relieved when he picked up on the first ring, but he didn't chime with his usual hello I was used to.
"Hey, Ben?" I greeted, but my smile dropped when a woman replied to me.
"Hi, this is the Metropolitan Police, Officer Nancy speaking. Is this Valentina Marino?"
I struggled to speak at first, my voice caught in my throat. The police? "Y-yes, this is she."
"Benjamin Knight had his phone unlocked at this time, m'aam, which is why we are able to call. I'm assuming you are his girlfriend?"
I didn't have time to correct her, my natural instinct being to bombard her with questions. "Is he okay? What happened?" I couldn't help the panic in my voice.
"He got into a critical car accident approximately fifteen minutes ago. The paramedics are examining him now to classify how servere his head injury may be. At the moment, he is unconscious and does not have any emergency contacts to help us with his paperwork. We're on our way to the hospital now, but his car is totaled -"
"Colt," I managed to choke out, feeling my heart sputter in my chest. "Colt McGregor - they're best friends. You need to call him, or... Give me his contact number."
I grabbed a pen quickly, running to shut the stove off. I scribbled Colt's number on my arm, repeating it back to her so I could call him as soon as possible.
"We're bringing him to St. Andrew's hospital, and he'll be assessed and put through multiple tests. You may be waiting at the -"
"That's fine - that's okay, just... Meet us at the entrance and we'll talk there," I breathed, thanking her once again before hanging up.
I rushed to call Colt, punching in the numbers that I'd shakily written on my arm.
"Hello?" he answered, probably completely thrown off by the unknown number.
"Colt," I spoke numbly, angst making my stomach hollow. "Ben, he's in the hospital, you need to come pick me up."
"Vee? Wait, what? What do you mean he's in the hospital? What the hell happened?" he asked, his tone holding an edge as he shot questions at me.
"I don't know much, all I know is that he got into a car accident, they're examining his head injury and he hasn't gained consciousness since - that was about half an hour ago. He's in St. Andrew's Hospital and the officer I talked to is waiting for us to tell about his collision."
He was quiet for a second, but I could hear his sharp intakes of breath. "I'm coming right now, be ready."
I set my phone down and rushed to my room, stripping out of my sweats and t-shirt. I pulled on a white sweatshirt and a basic pair of blue jeans, tugging my hair into a simple braid at my nape. Then, I swept some mascara on to at least make myself look put together.
I grabbed my purse, my phone and slipped my converse on not even ten minutes later, locking the door behind me before tossing my keys into my bag.
I raced to the elevator, knowing for a fact that Colt would want to be there as soon as possible. I made my way out to the front of the apartment building, waiting.
Lately, all I ever felt like I did was wait. Waiting with an idle mind was like mental suffocation. Thoughts... They were our downfall.
All I could think about now was Ben. He needed to regain consciousness. He was going to be okay. I knew he would.
I heard Colt's Range Rover before I saw it, and I immediately jogged into the pick up-drop off area just to see Colt pulling up right in front of me. I opened the passenger door and shut it behind me, buckling in my seat belt just as Colt pulled off again.
We didn't say anything at first, the silence peeling away my sanity piece by piece. It wasn't awkward, just tense and it was fucking killing me.
I needed Colt to say something, to lie and say that he knew Ben would be fine and everything was going to be okay... That Ben was going to be up and running soon.
I glanced over to take a peek at his profile. His jaw was locked, his clenched teeth causing his cheek to pop out. His eyes were hard and narrowed at the road in front of him as he sped off. I was surprised he hadn't spoken by now - just a few days ago, he could barely keep his hands off of me.
I fought the urge to laugh sardonically. Typical. As if this cocky bastard would be any different than most people with dicks.
And so the silence continued.
A/N:
New chapter, WHOO! I hope it wasn't confusing for you guys, I tried my best with the italics and then the regular writing where Vee was thinking back to her morning with Colt and then when she was telling Stella about it.
How do you guys like it so far? Are you all worried for Ben? Well, ya shouldn't be - you know he'll be fine anyway, ha. Perks of knowing the present during the flashbacks!
But I'm so excited for you all to read the rest of the flashback chapters! Things will make much more sense, you'll be able to piece things together and really see how Vee and Colt were before. More importantly, how their love began.
Also, good news! Well, I hope it's good news for you guys! I've decided to make a sequel to Tainted!
So this book will have in and around 50 chapters total, including an epilogue, but trust me when I say that you guys will want to read the sequel - scratch that, y'all will NEED to read it! It'll be BOMB AF I swear - you guys will love love love it. I just think it'll just be better in terms of getting all of the background information first and then taking it to a whole other level.
Thank you so much for reading guys! Please vote, comment and feel free to message me to talk about Tainted!
All the love, xx
- valerieashelita
Copyright. All Rights Reserved.