Hi guys! Before I start the chapter, I wanted to dedicate this chapter to:
Evepetal was kind enough to accept my request for a cover and I am so excited! Please go check out her work, it is gorgeous <3
And as always, thank you all for reading!
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<Kieran's POV>
By Monday the whole school knew about DJ and Marco. At first, Roger had I assumed I was the snitch, but regardless of their sudden sexual preference, DJ and Marco had been my friends. I wasn't a snitch. No matter how fucked up I thought they were, I wouldn't snitch. I had pointedly ignored all four of them until Wednesday, which was fairly simple since they weren't really in my classes. On Wednesday I slipped up and said hi to Roger.
Determined to avoid them all all cost, during lunch I sat with the football players.
Nobody questioned anything.
It wasn't that bad, really, but by Friday I was missing Lukas.
I had started to jog again, one of the only beneficial pastimes I had developed. It was the off-season of basketball, and spring was fast approaching. The weather was cool enough to chill my sweat, but not cold enough to make me sick. The weather worked in my favor. But I hated jogging alone.
I had desperately wanted to go to the basketball court, but I knew that they would all be there. Sure, I wanted to see Lukas, but at the risk of seeing Marcus and DJ? No, thank you. Roger was a weird gray area for me. He was acting fucking weird of late, and I would be surprised if he was a bit faggy as well.
Presuming faggy is a word.
Besides. Lukas had chosen them over me.
"Honey, could you help me with something?"
I wiped my face with my shirt, seeing my mum frantically waving at me from our driveway. She had her dark hair pushed back with a banana colored bandana, a baggy pair of overalls and a grease stained T-shirt on. The shirt looked suspiciously like my dad's, but I pushed aside any distaste and jogged to her.
I tucked my earbuds away into the pockets of my shorts.
"Hey mum"
"Hi sweetie, could you help me with this?"
She gestured towards her mom-van helplessly. A small embarrassed smile blessed her face as I laughed.
"Yeah, I'll look at it. Go ahead and clean up, I shouldn't take too long." She beamed and hugged me tight before kissing the top of my head.
I waved her off into the house before tugging my shirt over my head, the sweat on my skin clinging to my body. I uncomfortably pulled at the material before looking at the engine. I propped my body up against the hood of the van, looking at all the parts like they were the guts of an alien.
Shit.
Oil changes I could manage. Flat tires? No problem.
Engine trouble?
There was only one person I knew who could fix it.
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I stepped out of the Webb's truck, apprehensively eyeing the open garage. Lukas had actually bought it off of one of Marco's distant uncles a year or two ago. It had been his first investment, and it paid off. Lukas had been able to scrap together a decent amount of money, so now his reliance on his parents paying his college tuition fees was minimal.
I rolled my phone from hand to hand, suddenly aware of the fact that I hadn't changed and probably smelled like shit. Luckily, I was used to routinely dousing myself in Axe, so the smell wouldn't be as shitty. Why did I care that I smelled anyways? It was just Lukas. Biting down on my lip roughly I walked into the garage, watching as familiar people sat there, working on cars.
A few waved at me and Carson, a toothless-but-always-smiling mechanic, crushed me into a greasy hug. I laughed and slapped his back as he purposely mussed up my once white shirt.
"Bro, you owe me like twenty"
"That shit doesn't look a dime over five"
I rolled my eyes. Carson was right, yet again. Most of my shirts were second-hand or thrifted. This one in particular had been literally free. I shoved Carson away from me, all in good nature, rolling my eyes as he punched me in the shoulder.
"He's in the back, loverboy" Carson gestured to Lukas' private office.
I scowled at the nickname before bunching my shirt in my hands nervously. I wasn't quite sure how Lukas would react to seeing me. Did he miss me? Was he glad I was finally out of the picture?
Was he mad?
My lip started bruising from how hard I crushed it with my teeth, biting into the skin over and over again. I shook my head before stalking up to the door, trying to look calm and unfazed. I rapped on the wood, hearing the footsteps of someone rushing to open it. The door creaked open.
"Hey" I managed.
"Hey" Lukas said quietly.
His eyes had bags under them, a smear of grease on his cheek. His hair was a bit oily and he looked stressed as all hell. Shit.
"Bad time?" I began to edge away, my courage leaving me slowly.
"Nah, come on in"
I followed Lukas into his office, closing the door behind me with my foot. I fiddled with my hair before taking a seat in a frumpy looking chair in front of Lukas' desk. Lukas yawned and stretched his hands above his head. For a brief second the sunlight streaming through the window caught his hair. I examined the pencils on his desk with newfound interest.
"So, what's up" Lukas straddled his chair, sitting on it backwards. He crossed his arms around it and his muscles bunched and tensed, matching the nervousness in his neck.
"My mum's Mystery Machine needs its engine checked, could you swing by later and look at it?"
I ran a hand through my hair, smoothing it back. I caught his eyes following my hand curiously and flushed nervously before quickly bringing my hand back onto the armrest. Lukas was watching me calmly, but I felt like he was x-raying me somehow, trying to read my eyes.
Lukas pursed his lips.
"Yeah sure, no problem"
I stood up from the chair before nodding at him. I muttered a quick 'thanks' before scurrying towards the door.
"Is that it?"
I paused, hand on the door knob. Fuck. This was playing out like a stupid chick-flick.
Why couldn't I just grow a pair and talk to him about it?
The tension in the room increased tenfold and I nervously scratched my neck.
"Not really"
Lukas nodded knowingly. He grabbed a random knock-off Adidas jacket from the back of his jacket and slipped it on.
"You free right now?" He looked at me and I lapsed into brief shock at how dark his eyes were. I had always thought they were brown, but today they looked black.
Something's bugging him.
"I'm free whenever, Schmitt, you know that" I tried to joke, cracking a lopsided smile. Lukas shook his head in amusement before following me out the door.
"I get off in a few anyways, let's take a walk"
Lukas waved to Carson and the rest of the mechanics. A few hollered at me to which I responded with a polite 'Fuck you'. For a minute it felt like nothing had happened between me and Lukas, like everything had gone back to normal.
I double-checked that I had locked the truck before following Lukas down the sidewalk. The path was familiar, and I recognised it as leading to the basketball court. Swallowing down my anxiety, I remembered that it was a solid hour away via walking.
"Pleasant weather we're having, eh?"
What the actual fuck?
I hadn't been this nervous since I lost my virginity. Jesus. That's what I was acting like: an inexperienced, nervous-as-hell virgin.
It's just Lukas.
I noticed Lukas giving me an odd look so I offered him a little smile.
"Gotta start the conversation somehow"
He chuckled, shoving me onto a passing house's mailbox. I scowled, covering my relieved laugh.
"How's about we start the conversation faster?" He offered.
I shrugged, deliberately avoiding the cracks in the concrete.
"Why don't you tell me exactly what makes you homophobic?"
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