By the time we get home the buzz from the party and the copious amounts of alcohol we consumed has started to wear off, and is now being replaced by total exhaustion.
We tiptoe through my silent house, trying not to make any noise that could disturb my parents' sleep. Upon entering my room, I realize that my clothes are still scattered all around the floor. Looking back at Syd, who's the one who caused the whole mess, she raises her shoulders at me with a smile. "Sorry?" she whispers. That's kind of her tagline. I roll my eyes and we start picking up piles of clothing, just tossing them into the closet and leaving them to be dealt with on an occasion when I won't be battling to keep my eyes open.
Once the floor is cleared, Tyler pulls a mattress out from under my bed and I toss him a set of sheets so that he can set it up for himself. Syd wiggles out of her dress and digs for one of my oversized shirts to use as pajamas. She slips into my bed, which we'll share, while Tyler strips down to his boxers and slides under his own covers. It's not a big deal for us to see each other in our underwear, it's nothing we haven't seen before.
Once they're both ready for bed, I head to the bathroom grabbing my pajamas from the closet on my way there. I walk in, feeling the cold ceramic tiles against my bare feet, put my hair up to keep it away from my face and I start removing my makeup. After I'm done washing my face and brushing my teeth I take a long look in the mirror letting tonight's events sink in.
I've been chasing after Mason for years, and tonight, the opportunity I've been waiting for finally presented itself, and I didn't take it. For some reason, all I can think about is Noah. How soft his lips felt on mine. How electrifying his kiss was. How he made me feel wanted, and didn't hesitate to give me my moment.
Even if he was just doing me a favour, it still made me feel confident and flattered. And his strategy worked, I finally got Mason's attention. I would even dare to say he looked kind of jealous, which I hate to admit makes me glad.
It's not like I need their attention to feel validated; well, maybe a little bit if I'm being honest. But it's more than just that. It's the fact that for the first time I feel like I had the guts to let myself take what I wanted. It's a refreshing feeling.
It put things into perspective. I really need to get out of my own way and stop over thinking. God knows how many opportunities I've missed just because of being scared of what could happen if I took a risk.
I go back to my room, ready to turn in for the night and sleep my Sunday away. I can already feel an incoming hangover. Sighing, I let myself fall backwards onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling. As I close my eyes and start feeling sleep take over, I hear my phone beep.
"Ughhh turn that off!" Tyler groans covering his head with his pillow.
I roll over to the side reaching out to my nightstand and feeling around in the darkness for my phone. Who's texting me this late?
I sit up on the bed and unlock the phone, its brightness assaulting my eyes. I'm confused when I see Mason's name pop up on the screen with a message notification.
Mason:
I'm sorry Mads, I shouldn't have done that. I'm quite drunk, and I don't know what came over me. Hope you can forgive me.
I lock my phone and set it back down on my nightstand without bothering to respond.
This is just so typically him. He always gives me a little bit of attention, but not enough for me to know if he's actually interested in me. That's how he keeps me wrapped around his finger, and the curiosity is what keeps me coming back to him. I'm starting to figure out that all he wants is to know that I'll be there waiting for him when he has no other options. So when I pull away he does or says something to reel me back in, and I keep letting him manipulate me like that.
Not this time. I refuse to let him walk all over me again. I'm tired of pining after him while he just plays mind games with me. I won't allow it anymore. If he actually cares about me he will have to prove it, and if he doesn't, then I guess it's high time I got over him.
Feeling good about my newfound determination, I lay back down and close my eyes, peacefully dozing off into a deep sleep.