Chapter 7
A few months later
BRIAN’S POV
I’m in a club. I’m here to play gamble. But I have to hide it from Sam. He doesn’t want me to play it. I know it isn’t right, but I’m sort of addicted.
Tonight was a bad night. I lost a lot with poker.
I get home. Sam opens the door. It’s midnight.
“Brian?”
“Yeah?” I answered worried.
“Where have you been?”
“At the studios. The guys had to finish some recordings.”
“Fine. So, if now I phone John, he’ll tell me the same, right?”
“No! I mean, yes, of course, but you’d disturb him.”
“Don’t lie to me, please.” He comes closer, “I already phoned him and he told me you were at that club.”
I looked down to my shoes.
“Listen to me, love. What the hell is bothering you? Please, I just want to help. Tell me what’s wrong. Why do you have to do this to solve your problems?”
“It’s… oh, fuck off!” I yell at him.
“Brian! Don’t yell at me like that! Maybe I’m just trying to help you!”
“Maybe I don’t want your bloody help!”
“Fine! So you don’t need my bed and my food anymore! So why don’t you leave?”
“Fine, I will!”
I run out of his house and go down to the street. I run and run under the rain. It’s cold and I left my coat in his flat, but I won’t return to him. I break down to the street. Why, why, why did I do that? He was just trying to be kind, and I yelled at him! I shiver. Temperature’s rising. I find a glass bottle, break it and cut myself. Pain makes me feel right. That’s what I deserve.