{Possible trigger warnings: a bit of swearing, throwing things,
If I miss something, I apologize and please let me know}
Youtube
DadJokesINC Uploaded: The Roommate Face-Off (Joke Wars)
"Oh. My. GOODNESS! This was so much fun! I'm so happy to have finally had my stoic roommate Logan on for this to see his sense of humor, because I know he has one. Go check him out, link below!"
----
Play Video
----
Patton: Heya Kiddos! It's your good old fun loving father figure back with another Joke Wars challenge!
[Patton sits in a chair in the center of the screen, grinning]
Patton: You guys know that Joke Wars videos are one of my favorite things to do, because I get to tell as many jokes as I can think of, as well as learn new ones from my friends I'm competing against.
[Several photos displayed onscreen: screenshots from Patton's previous Joke Wars videos]
Patton: Today I think it's going to be especially fun because my guest is a notoriously serious and straight-laced person.
Logan, offscreen: The way you say that makes it sound as if it's bad.
Patton: No no no, that's not how I meant it at all!
[Patton reaches off screen, pulling Logan into frame]
Patton: Logan's here today!
[Cheering sound effects and confetti onscreen]
Patton: I just think it's gonna be really fun having you here because you rarely make jokes around the apartment! I want to see what your style of humor is.
[Patton grins at Logan, who shrugs]
Logan: I simply find that what I find amusing generally does not match up with what others find amusing, so I keep the occasional outburst to myself.
Patton: Well it's time to stop that, because this channel is all jokes all the time- sorry!
[Patton throws his hands in the air, nearly knocking Logan in the face with his elbow. He gasps and pulls his arms in quickly, giggling]
Logan: I suppose we will see what others think of my jokes today. Though I know you are quite adept at puns, whereas I am... not.
[Logan adjusts his glasses]
Patton: Yay! Okay so how this works is, we'll flip a coin to see who goes first. We go back and forth telling jokes, and every time one of us laughs the other one gets a point.
[Little scorecards pop up in the corners of the screen]
Logan: Are we counting laughter at our own jokes?
Patton: Well- actually, that's a good question.
[Patton stops, staring off at nothing while he thinks. Logan raises his eyebrows]
Patton: No, let's just count laughing at each other. Ame can keep track of you and Roman can keep track of me. Say hi guys!
[Patton gestures offscreen]
Roman, offscreen: Hello to you all, Ladies, Lords, and Non-Binary Royalty!
Ame, offscreen: 'Sup.
Patton: Without further ado, let's get into this! I'm so excited.
[Patton and Logan turn their chairs to face each other]
Patton: Roman, flip a coin! Logan, you can call it.
Logan: Tails.
[Sound of a coin hitting a table offscreen]
Roman, offscreen: It's heads.
Patton: Guess that means I go first! Good luck.
Logan: Good luck.
[Patton and Logan shake hands, then Patton screws his face up to think]
Patton: How do you make a kleenex dance?
Ame, offscreen: Oh god.
Logan, flatly: I don't know, how?
Patton: You put a little... boogie in it!
[Patton shimmies his shoulders, grinning. Roman laughs offscreen. Logan remains unfazed]
Patton: Ooh, he's good. Your turn.
Logan: Patton, why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist?
Patton: They're the guys who study dinosaurs, right?
Logan: Correct.
Patton: Okay, why shouldn't I? Aside from that it's mean-
Ame, offscreen: Pat.
Patton: Sorry! Go ahead Logan.
Logan: You'd get Jurass-kicked.
[Logan raises an eyebrow. Patton covers his mouth with his hand for a few moments before a giggle escapes]
Roman, offscreen: That's one point for Logan!
Ame, offscreen: No s*** Princey.
[Censoring sound]
Patton: Hey! No swearing on my channel!
Ame, offscreen: Sorry.
Patton: Roman's right though, that's one point to Logan. Good job, Lo!
Logan: Thank you.
[Logan's scorecard changes from 0 to 1]
Patton: My turn! Did you hear about the merger between FedEx and UPS?
Logan: I did not.
Patton: They're going by Fed-Up now!
[Patton does jazz hands. Ame snorts offscreen]
Ame, offscreen: Patton, that was bad.
Roman, offscreen: You laughed.
Ame, offscreen: Shut up.
[Sound of something hitting someone. Roman yelps]
Patton: Ame, don't throw stuff.
Ame, offscreen: But Daaaad.
Patton: No. Logan, your turn.
Logan: Very well. I just read a book about anti-gravity the other day. It was so good, I couldn't put it down.
[Patton makes a face, clearly trying not to laugh. He manages to hold it in]
Patton: That one was good!
Logan: Thank you.
Patton: Ready for mine?
[Logan nods and Patton bounces in his seat]
Patton: What's the best part of living in Switzerland?
Logan: I'm sure you'll tell me.
Patton: Well I don't know but the flag is a big plus.
[Logan shakes his head and Patton blows a raspberry]
Logan: I heard the local science institute is trying to get Roman to donate his brain to science when he dies.
Patton: Really? Why?
Logan: They're trying to find the perfect vacuum.
Roman, offscreen: Hey!
[Patton giggles, covering his face]
Patton: Nooooo that's mean!
[Logan ducks a pen thrown at his head]
Logan: I was told anything is fair game.
Patton: It is, it is. Alright, let me think.
[Roman walks onscreen to get the pen he threw while Patton puffs out his cheeks, thinking]
Patton: Ooh! I've got one. Why shouldn't you take atoms seriously?
Logan: Why?
Patton: They make everything up!
[Patton throws his arms in the air, Logan shakes his head with a small smile]
Logan: I was taking a test and the problem had a triangle on it with one side labeled x. The directions said to find x, I don't understand why I got the problem wrong when I circled it.
[Ame snickers offscreen, Patton shakes his head quickly]
Roman, offscreen: C'mon, Pat, you have to get him with something.
Patton: I know, I know, I just have to think of one.
Ame, offscreen: C'mere, I've got one for you.
Patton: Noooo that's cheating.
Logan: Oh go ahead, it's not going to hurt anyone.
[Patton gets up and goes offscreen for a few moments. He laughs and returns to his chair]
Patton: I hope you're ready, he had a good one.
Logan: Go right ahead.
Patton: I asked my doctor what to do with my sick element. You know what he told me?
Logan: I do not.
Patton: He said 'if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium!'
[Logan tries not to laugh for a few moments, then a chuckle slips. Patton cheers]
Patton: We got him! Good job Ame!
Ame: Thanks.
[Patton turns to the camera]
Patton: And on that note, that is all for this Joke Wars video! I'm pretty sure Logan won but that last joke was great! Subscribe down below if you haven't already, keep an eye out for my next video. Our featured joke today is from MissyMiranda: What is a pirate's favorite letter? Arrrr!
[Patton's logo onscreen, annotations for suggested videos appear. Outro plays, royalty free ukulele music]
----
Next Video?
----
{first video with all the boys in it! This one was a little harder to do but I like how it turned out. And I'm very aware that these wouldn't be very long videos, but I want to keep these chapters a similar length to my others}