Sitting on a stool beside a bed where a girl, nine years of age, have been sleeping for the past week, was a man who would soon be known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier, Levi. But, at the moment, he was not a soldier, he was a father wishing for his daughter to wake up. A broken man who lost everything, his friends, his lover... and he can't lose the only thing believed he did right.
This was never supposed to happen...
He reached for his daughter and caressed her frail hand. He never saw it before, but the moment he brought her to the surface, it was evident that she was far from what a healthy child should be. Maybe it was her illness that she had for the past few weeks, but Levi knew that his daughter has looked like this even before she got sick. Even before he left for his job.
if I just stood by her then... then this would never have happened... I'm so sorry, Maria...
His former lover's words rang in his mind, the day he found out of the most unexpected surprise he would ever get in his young days. How could he forget, it was the day that changed his life.
"I'm pregnant."
Levi couldn't believe what he was hearing. His eyes, which were always in a glare and calm, were now full of shock as he stared at the woman with red hair and blue eyes, standing before him with such news. This wasn't what he expected; they were careful – he made sure of it! But knowing that the woman has only slept with one man since their little affair started, he had no doubt that the child was his.
"Maria... I –"
What could he say? He wasn't ready? That he was only nineteen – too young to be a father? But this was fault as well, so he has to live with it—
"I won't force you to take responsibility." The woman – Maria, said. "I'll raise the child alone, but if you want, you could still be a part of its life... I won't argue with that; it is yours too."
Levi said nothing. He just looked at Maria's flat abdomen, which he was sure would grow as time goes on.
"Well, that's all I wanted to say..." Maria said. "I'll be on my way."
"Where are you going?" Levi asked.
"Home."
"But what about –"
"Just because we're going to have a child, Levi, doesn't mean we'll be living in the safe roof. I'll go on with my life and you go on with yours... nothing else, just like you said..."
He saw through her words... he knew what she wanted to do, but for some reason, he didn't.
"Right... I'll do what I can to help... I'm sorry if I put you in this situation." He said.
Maria bit her lip, and her hands balled to a fist.
"I'm sorry too."
Her words rang through Levi's head every time he was left alone in silence, and he couldn't help but want to go back to that time and change what he said. But, he couldn't, and being the stubborn and prideful man, he was, Levi didn't meet up with Maria to fix their situation, instead, he continuously lived to his promise of helping Maria with her pregnancy by giving her food and money, and nothing more. Even until the day she gave birth, Levi still showed little emotion... If neither of them was too proud, then maybe things would have been different.
"Hey..." Maria said, panting as she did. The midwife brought the child to Maria's arms. Maria cradled the crying child in her arms, her smiling growing every minute the she held the new born. "Hey there, my sweet girl..."
"What's her name?" Levi asked.
Maria brushed her daughter – their daughter's raven locks and caressed the child's cheeks.
"Iris..." She turned to Levi, hoping for him to give her a name.
"Iris Reed." Levi answered, too fast for him to imply the opposite he wanted.
Maria frowned slightly, but her frown vanished when Iris stopped crying and was now sleeping soundly in her mother's arms.
"Iris Reed..." Maria said again, agreeing. "Do you want to meet your daughter, Levi?"
Levi, with stiff legs, went to Maria's bedside. He stood above them and he had a full view of the child, his daughter. She was small, frail, pale skin, a head full of black hair – which it was obvious she got from him, since her mother had red hair – and blue eyes.
With a shaky hand, Levi reached for his daughter and touched her stubby fingers.
Maybe, if he just has told her the truth why he didn't give their daughter his name, maybe if he just told her everything about him, then maybe things would have been different. Maybe, if he just forgot about his pride and came to them begging to be a part of their life, then maybe things would have been different. Then maybe they would still be together, Maria, Farlan, Isabel, all five of them at the surface.
"What more do you want, Levi?!" Maria asked.
Earlier that day, Levi, Farlan, and Isabel took a job from a man named Nicholas Lovof. It was a simple job – kill a soldier of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith. And as payment, he would give them legal citizenship at the Surface. Levi negotiated with Lovof, saying that he needed two more citizenships, then he would accept the job. Lovof accepted his terms.
Levi saw this as an opportunity for them, to live a better life. Better than this one.
"What's so wrong about this job?!" Levi yelled back. "Maria, it could get us a pass – we could be legal citizens at the surface –"
"You know nothing, Levi!" Maria sneered. "You know nothing of what kind of hell the surface is!"
"And you do?! What do you know, Maria?!"
"I know more than you than you do, Levi... enough to know that life here is better than life is up there!"
"How is life here better, Maria?!" Levi slammed his hand on the table. "HOW?! IS LIVING HERE BETTER THAN THE SURFACE?! HOW IS LIVING IN SHIT BETTER?! IS THIS REALLY THE LIFE YOU WANTED FOR IRIS?!"
"I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS PARADISE, BUT IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT'S UP THERE! I'D RATHER DIE IN THIS FUCKING RAT-HOLE, FREE, THAN DIE IN THAT FUCKING HELL IN THEIR GRASPS AGAIN – I WON'T LET IRIS SEE WHAT HELL THAT'S UP THERE!"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT – WHAT CAN BE WORSE THAN WHERE WE ARE –"
"Mama?"
The two adults stopped their yelling and turned to the door where they saw eight-year-old Iris, in her ragged nightgown, and her eyes red and puffy. It was evident that she has been crying, probably since the moment they started yelling.
"Mama, Papa, is something wrong?" Iris asked, walking out of her room, approaching her parents.
"Nothing's wrong, sweetheart." Maria scooped her daughter from the ground before she could reach her father. Levi stood there, watching. "We just had a little disagreement."
"Okay..." Iris muttered. Her eyes were fixed on her father. "Papa..."
"Iris..." Levi said.
"Time to go back to bed." Maria said.
"Maria –" Levi called out.
"Say goodnight to your father." Maria told Iris.
Levi saw the last glance that Maria sent his way before she turned away from him and headed to her and Iris's room. Iris was left looking over her mother's shoulder, and waved at Levi.
"Goodnight." Iris said.
If he had just listened. Then maybe everything would be different. Then maybe Isabel and Farlan wouldn't have died in the hands of a Titan. Then maybe, he would never have found Maria on the floor of their daughter's bed, holding on to dear life, just so she could protect Iris.
After a year of being gone, Levi came back to the Underground. He couldn't help but notice the lingering gazes that the people of the Underground had on him, how couldn't it be? He was wearing his Survey Corps uniform, and he wasn't alone, he was joined by one of Erwin's Smith's men, Mike Zacharias. But he didn't care, he wasn't going to stay long, he was just going to get Maria and Iris and they were leaving this place permanently.
Knocking on the door of the house, Levi noticed how the windows were barred shut, which they weren't before. He knocked again, but this time with much force –
The door opened. It wasn't locked.
Panicking, Levi ran inside, knowing that Maria never lets her home be left unlocked. He saw the door of her room open, and he came in.
"MARIA –"
Levi was frozen on his ground. The sight before him was the most horrific scene – it reminded him the day his mother died. On the bed was Iris, sleeping. Her body was paler than usual, and skinnier, all he could see was his mother in his own child. And Maria... she sat on the floor by the bed, and was in a much worse state than their daughter. Her once tan skin was pale, her body was skin and bone, face and eyes sunken, and her eyes that once held life and fire he always loved, was now dull and dead.
"Maria..." Levi knelt before the woman. He reached for her, and caressed her cheek.
"You're back..." Maria croaked. "You fucking bastard."
"What happened?" Levi asked.
"I had no choice... I couldn't keep up with the... they were raising the prices, and I couldn't keep up..."
"Maria... I'm so –"
"We were starving..." Maria said. "Levi, you have to save her... take her."
"No, I'm taking both of you, come on – I could get you both to a hospital –"
"I'm too long gone, Levi... please, take her." Maria reached to hold her daughter's hand. And with all the strength she had left, she held on tight. "I stand by what I said. I would rather die here than be trapped in that fucking cage... please, Levi... please, save her..."
Levi on to Maria's hand.
"I will. I promise. I'll save her – I'll save our daughter! I promise you, Maria." Levi said.
"Thank you." Maria said. "Can I see her, before you leave?"
Levi nodded. He took Maria's body in his arms and carefully placed her on the bed beside their daughter. Levi watched as Maria hugged their daughter, tears fell from her eyes as she did.
"Mama loves you, Iris... Mama loves you with all her heart... I'm sorry for everything..." Maria said to their daughter. "I'm sorry that this will be the last time we will meet... but you will have a better life with Papa... I love you, my darling." Maria placed a kiss on Iris's head. "Levi, go... before I..."
Levi took Iris into his arms, he wrapped his green coat over her to keep her warm, but before he could get up, Maria reached for Levi's hand, stopping him.
"Wait..." Maria took off her necklace and placed it in Levi's hand. Levi opened his palm and saw that it was the necklace that she always wore, a silver feather. "To remind her of her mother."
"Maria... she'll never forget you... I'll make sure of it."
"Thank you."
Levi got on his feet; he was just about to leave the room when Maria spoke.
"I love you..." Maria spoke.
Levi didn't dare to look back, he knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He would carry them both back to the surface, but Maria wouldn't let him. Levi left the room, and locked the door, knowing that Maria always locked her doors. He met with Mike at the door, who he suspected heard their whole conversation.
"Let's go." Levi said.
Mike nodded and closed the door after them. The man did not question him about the child in his arms nor about the woman they left in the room to die. And he was thankful for that.
On his way up the stairs, Levi couldn't help but let a tear drop.
How heartless was he to not say it back?
Levi was pulled out of his reverie at the sudden movement of his daughter's hand. He sat up from his seat and leaned forward.
"Iris."
Iris tiredly opened her eyes, but closed it the moment she was met with the brightest light she saw.
"Iris." Levi called her. "You still need time to adjust..."
He got on his feet and closed the curtains, blocking the harsh sun, and went back to his daughter's side. He sat on the bed and held her hand. He didn't know what to feel, he was too overwhelmed – after weeks of being sick, and in bedrest, his daughter was finally awake.
"Papa..." Iris croaked.
"Here, drink some water."
Levi helped his daughter to slightly sit up and brought the glass to her lips. After Iris drank, she laid back down on the bed. Her eyes finally well-adjusted to the dim room.
"Papa, where are we?"
"We're at the Survey Corps' Medical Wing..." Levi said.
"The Survey Corps?" Iris's eyes landed on her father's uniform – the Wings of Freedom – he was a Scout!
"We're at the surface, Iris." Levi said.
So, that's why there was a bright light. She thought. But...
"Where's Mama?"
~*~
The man's presence had the people hide in their homes and watch from their windows as he entered the house across them, the house they once not dared to come close due to its owner's close relations with the former King of Thieves. The man entered the house with no worry or sense of knowledge of its history. His eyes lingered around the simple room, a table turned over, food rotting on the floor, and on the walls were drawings of what he believed to be people flying over the skies.
She had a child?
The sound of coughing caught his attention. With the use of his knife, the man was able to unlock the door; the stench of uncleanliness and decay had him cover his nose and mouth. He came inside the room and found her. Strutting to her side, the man eyed the woman that laid on the bed, dying. He almost didn't recognize the woman with all the dirt and grim, and how thin and sickly she looked, but he knew that it was her. Turning to the door, where one of his men followed, he gave his order.
"Take her, and make sure that no one sees her when we leave."