Heart Vacancy - Harry's Pov
I must've been sitting there for a long time, because before I knew it the front door slammed open and I heard footsteps stumbling up the stairs. My eyes widened as I realized it was Louis, but I didn't move. I simply stood and braced myself for the anger I was so sure I would receive from the broken boy. Swallowing, I chewed on the inside of my lip and watched as his bedroom door swung open. Louis stood there, his frail body freezing as he spotted me. I watched as the older boy's eyes darted from me to the folders on the bed. A few seconds later, his eyes widened in realisation and he suddenly jerked full-force towards me.
His hands clamped around my shoulder, tearing me up away from where I was position on my bed and slamming me against the nearest wall. Louis' blue eyes were filled with panic, jaw slacked open in a silent wail. I stared at him with my wide green eyes, unsure of what to say. I was still letting it all sink in. Louis was raped. My Boobear had been raped... and he never told me.
"W-what the hell do you think you're doing in my room? Why are you going through my stuff?" Louis screeched, applying more pressure to my collar bone and causing me to flinch under his hold.
"Lou... Louis, please stop. You're hurting me." I whimpered.
"Son of a bitch, tell me what the fuck you were doing with my file." He snarled, slamming his fist against the wall beside my head. I cringed away from the Doncaster lad, fear beginning to boil up inside of me.
"L-Louis, please. W-why didn't you tell me you were... why didn't you tell me you were raped?" I whispered, my voice cracking as I stared at him.
"St-stop! I wasn't!" Louis cried, tears glazing over his sky-blue eyes. I sucked in a deep breath, my voice lowering and growing some-what steady.
"Boo... it's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm here now." I whispered softly, lifting my hand to cautiously stroke his cheek.
To my surprise, Louis' tears overflowed and he began to sob violently. His hands loosened their hold so he was now slumped against me, and I moved my arms to circle them around his waist. The broken boy shook against my chest, clutching my shirt and burying his face into the crook of my neck. "Shh, Boobear. Everything's gonna be fine. You're okay now. I'm here, nothing can get you again." I murmured against his feathery, chestnut hair.
Carefully moving our bodies so we sunk down against the bed mattress, I pulled his legs out to the side so that he was settled comfortably against my lap. Louis continued to sob against my chest, and I simply ran my hand down his arm and back; tracing patterns against the bare skin. "I-I'm disgusting, Harry. You shouldn't be here. I've been awful to you, and you're still here... why? Why are you here?" Lou sniffed, clenching his fists tighter against my shirt. I struggled to get him to loosen his grip, but he didn't budge - simply snugged himself closer against me. I sighed, shaking my head and planting a feathery-soft kiss against his forehead, allowing my lips to linger longer than usual.
"Lou... hey, look at me." I ordered. He hesitated for a moment before slowly dragging his red, puffy eyes up to meet my own tearful one. "Boo, I promise everything's going to be okay now, okay? I'm here; we'll get through this together. You're not alone anymore, Loubear." I murmured, nuzzling my nose against his and staring deeply into his raw eyes, "You're not disgusting. That thing that did that to you is the only one here who's disgusting. You're so much better than them, Louis. You're just... you're my whole world. Never shut me out again... okay, Boo? I love you." I mumbled, tears now freely flowing down my face as I cooed sweet nothings into his ear.
We fell asleep like that, our bodies tangled together and dried tears streaming down our pale faces.
* * *
I awoke to a loud, gruff sigh. My eyes shot open as I felt a heavy weight on my chest- panic striking me until I glanced down and realized it was only Louis' head. Last nights memories flashed through my mind, the disgust and guilt I had felt building back up inside my gut. I shook my head, ruffling my chocolate-brown curls with my hand and tugging at it in frustration. I can't believe Louis has had to go through all of this alone for 9 fucking months. How could he not tell any of the lads? Or Eleanor? Why wouldn't he even tell his girlfriend? Eleanor had meant a lot to Louis, I knew that. So, why not tell her about what happened? I suppose he... wait, he didn't even tell me. I had had to find out for myself. I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut and muttering a barely audible, "Do you even trust me, Lou?" Shaking my head, I rubbed my face.
"Trust no one; save yourself." I glanced down, removing my hand from my face to glance down at Louis who was now staring up at me with red-stained eyes, "That's what I've been living off of these past months. But I want to trust someone. I want someone to save me. I want you to save me... Haz." He whispered.
My eyes widened slightly at my nickname. Louis hadn't used that name in... in forever! "D-does that mean you trust me, Boo?" I asked, sitting myself up to lean against the headboard of his bed. Louis opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. He simply stared at me for minutes before replying cautiously.
"You shouldn't ask for trust, Harry. You earn it. Since... well, since you didn't leave me last night - I trust you more right now than anyone else." He responded, his blue eyes scorching with some sort of protective fire buried deep within him.
"Jeeze, Lou. Since when did you become so deep?" I teased, lifting my hand to brush back Louis' fringe. He tilted his head back, laughing loudly.
I found myself leaning forwards, listening intentely to the melodic sound that filled my ears. I hadn't heard that beautiful sound in so long... too long. I loved it; I loved being able to finally make Louis laugh. Maybe he was finally opening up to me again. However, I knew deep down that Louis wasn't even close to being fixed. This was a process. A process that I was willing to fulfull.
I banged on the shower door, shouting into the loo, "Louis! You've been in there for nearly an hour. I need to take a shower too." I heard some shuffling around before the door swung open to reveal a fully-dressed Louis Tomlinson. I glanced over his body; black denim jeans, dark sweat that clung to his fragile body. His eyebrows raise as I raked my eyes over his body, snapping his fingers in front of my face.
"My eyes are up here, Hazza." Louis winked, brushing past me and heading into his room. I sighed, watching his figure disappear behind the door before heading off into the shower myself. Stripping down naked, I switched the water on and waited a second before hopping inside. The scorching-hot water beaded down on my skin, but I simply stared ahead at the tiled walls. My mind was on over-drive, processing everything that had happened within the last 16 hours.
Louis had been raped. Louis didn't tell anyone. I found out myself. Louis trusts me. Louis trusts me. Louis was raped. Had been raped. Louis was sexually violated. You weren't there to save him.
I slammed my fist against the wall, letting out a growl of frustration. I hadn't been able to be there when my Boo needed him. I had let him get hurt. Was this my fault? Was all of this my fault? Is that why Louis didn't speak to me? Don't be ridiculous Harry, Louis didn't speak to anyone about this. I sighed, lathering up my now-straight hair and rinsing it out a heartbeat later. After I'd finished, I switched the water off and stepped out. Shaking my hair out and drying my body - I swung my towel around my torso so it hung loosely around my waist before sauntering out of the toilets. Making my way to my room, I closed the door behind me with an audible 'click'.
I searched my room for clothes, allowing my mind to wander off again. I need to confront Louis. I need to know what happened to him that night. I just need too.
I threw on a pair of boxers, joggers, and a white t-shirt before trotting off down the steps. Louis was in the living room, curled up on the couch and watching something on the telly. "Want some tea, Lou?" I asked casually, stuffiny my hands into my sweat pockets. Louis glanced at me from the corner of his eye, cocking an eyebrow in question before replying slowly.
"Sure... is everything... nevermind." He sighed, propping himself up on his elbow and leaning his chin against his - eyes training back to the screen. I ran a hand through my curls, shaking them up a bit and turning on my heels to make him some Yorkshire tea.
I fixed the two mugs of tea, walking back into the living room and handing one of the cups off to Louis who took his gratefully. We both watched the telly for a while, though I wasn't quite sure what he was watching. It looked like Love Actually, though I couldn't be sure. Instead of asking, I took a deep breath and glanced up to peer over Louis' facial features. "L-Louis...? Can I... can I ask you something?"
The Doncaster lad turned his head to stare over my body for a moment before slowly nodding. "Louis, wha-what happened...? That night you were attacked... what happened?" I asked quietly.
Louis clenched his jaws, grinding his teeth together and clutching the cup of tea in his hands. He stayed positioned like that for a long while, his gaze fixed on the wall ahead of him. Just when I was about to say he didn't need to tell me, Louis began to explain...
* * * FLASHBACK - LOUIS' POV (10 MONTHS AGO - NIGHT OF THE ATTACK) * * *
I stumbled drunkly from the club, my gaze hazzy and uneven. I don't know how much I had drank, but I knew it would be enough to drown out the thoughts of Eleanor and I's fight. What was the fight about again...? Probably something stupid. I giggled, slurring out some irrelevant incoherent words to myself as I made my way down the street in the direction of Harry and I's flat.
"..op! Please, what did I do? Help! Somebody help me." I twirled on my heel, nearly stumbling over the crack on the sidewalk as constant streams of pleas for help whirled through my head. It sounded like a girl was calling for help? I wonder who it was? Hey, maybe I could be superman and save her! I burst out into a fit of laughter for a moment before practically frolicking in the direction of a dark alleyway. I could make out a pair of dumpsters on one side, but the back of the alley was blocked by a brick wall.
Waving my hands frantically in the air as I heard some gruff mumbles and muffled screams, I called out into the darkness, "H-hey! Wha-what's going o-on?" I slurred, puffing my lips out and stumbling further into the area. Suddenly, a high-pitched scream sounded from just next to me - and next thing I knew, I was being shoved. Being completely unstable as it was, the extra pressure caused me to topple over so I smacked my head against the side of the dumpster. I groaned in pain, rubbing the back of my head, "Dumb bitch." I mumbled.
"Hey you! What the hell do you think you're doing? You just ruined my fun, faggot." I glanced up at the older man, my vision blurry as I squinted at him.
"F-faggot isn't a nice w-word!" I stumbled out, my head rolling as I sat upright. The man didn't respond, simply bent over me and delivered the first punch. I cried out, moving my hand to clutch my cheek from the surprise blow.
"Shut up or I swear to god I'll kill you." He hissed, his disgusting dog-breath practically being blown down my throat as he worked his hands down my torso and to my chinos.
I let out out a cry of despair, thrashing beneath the psychotic man in a desperate attempt to break free. "H-Harry! Help! H-help me... please, Harry." I sobbed...
* * * FLASHBACK END - HARRY'S POV (PRESENT DAY) * * *
I choked out a sob, covering my mouth with my hands as I stared at Louis. He'd cried out for me. He cried my name while he was being raped. And I was here doing what? Fucking sleeping. I shook my head back and forth violently, tears streaming down my face. This can't be happening. Louis' couldn't have been raped. He couldn't...
"Harry...?" Louis asked quietly, his own waterfall of tears plummeting down his cheeks as he cautiously reached a hand out to wipe away my teardrops. "Haz... I'm sorry, I should've left some parts out. Please don't go. I know I'm disgusting because I called out your name. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He whimpered, retracting his hand and tucking it against his chest so that his arms were crossed.
I shook my head again, shuffling over to enravel Louis in my body heat, "No, Boo. It's not your fault. It's n-not my fault either. That man... he's cruel. But, Lou - you saved that girl. She wou-would've went through what you went through. She could have even gotten pregnant." I tried to make him see how he was good, how he wasn't disgusting. The truth was, I did blame myself. It was my fault. I remember that night so damn clearly now. I had woken up at nearly 4 AM to the sound of the shower running. The worst part? I yelled at Louis. I cannot believe I did that. I can't even comprehend anything that's happening right now. It was so confusing, and I didn't quite believe anything that was happening right now. It just couldn't be true.
"Haz? I-I love you, you know that, right?" Louis whispered quietly from his position against my chest. I paused briefly for a moment, staring ahead at the telly that was flickering lights across the darkening room. It was probably around 5 or 6 in the evening by now.
"Yeah, I know." I mumbled, pulling back slightly to observe his face. It was contorted into a thoughtful expression, lips pushed out and eyebrows knitted together as he focused on a specific thought. "Boo...?" I asked cautiously, arching an eyebrow.
Louis' head snapped up, staring at me intensely for a brief few moments. "Harry, I'm gay." With that, his head surged forward and his lips collided against mine in a completely disorganized kiss.
My eyes widened, shock taking over my body as I stayed frozen on the spot. What...? Louis' gay...? And he's kissing me...? No! He's just confused right now, he's wanting love and comfort. The rape must've had a huge affect on him if he's going so far with this. Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Louis was raped for fucks sakes, of course he's going to be affected by it! I mentally slapped myself, but was brought out of my internal argument as fingers knotted in my curls and pressed my entire body flush against Louis'. I began to shake my head, attempting to push him away. This wasn't supposed to happen like this.
"No," I gasped, pulling away from the older boy's lips, "Louis... Louis, stop." I panted as he attempted to pull himself back into me. Immediately, his hands dropped from my hair and the weight from my lap disappeared. Still in a daze, I shook my head in an attempt to clear my foggy mind. "W-what was that?" Gulping, I stared up at Louis with wide eyes. He looked confused himself, his hair slightly matted and blue eyes wild with bewilderment.
"I... you can't... I didn't mean to do that." I felt my heart twist painfully as he stumbled over his words.
"Wait, Lou." I called, but he was already climbing up the steps and slamming his bedroom door shut loudly. I sighed, running my hands through my knotted curls and tugging at them. I had found myself doing this repeatedly withint he past few weeks... being with Louis made me so stressed out and confused. Like now...
Louis kissed me, then practically called it a mistake and locked himself in his room again. I let out a loud groan, smashing my fist against the nearby wall before shrugging my converse on and racing out the door.
(( A/N: Is this story moving too fast...? Please leave your opinions lol.. Alyciaaa_1D .xx ))