Chapter 30
By the time we made it to the house, I didn't know if I wanted to vomit or pass out. I just rushed to the bathroom while Beau followed me but I shut the bathroom door before he could see the events that unfolded.
I sank down next to the toilet and emptied my stomach until I was at the point where I was dry heaving. I flushed the toilet and shifted over to lean back against the bathtub because I felt as if all the energy in my body was drained and I had nothing else left to pick myself up.
I felt cold and empty as I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself. The further Thane went, the less I could feel him within me. But his pain was still very prominent.
I knew he was hurting but he never gave me a chance to explain.
Without realizing it, the tears were back with a vengeance and since I've been in this pack, I have never cried more in my life. I couldn't help the sobs that came as I recalled how Thane killed Ian. He said he couldn't forgive me but I couldn't forgive him for what he did.
The sight of my ring and my tattoo only made the tears pour harder than rain during a storm. I know I should be picking myself up but the pain made me incapable of doing such a thing.
Thane had my heart and he squashed it in his hands and nothing made me angrier. He even had the audacity to promise he wouldn't ever intentionally hurt me and that is exactly what he did less than twenty-four hours after making our vows. But a promise is a fool's comfort and I was an idiot for forgetting that.
I heard a knock on the door, "Not now Beau."
"It isn't Beau." I heard a female voice and knew exactly who it was, "You better unlock this door before I kick it down."
I tried to brush the tears away even though they kept falling as I managed to crawl over to the door and twist the lock.
I pushed myself back towards the bathtub as the door opened to reveal a worried looking Caroline.
By the sight of her, I lost it because I couldn't take it if someone else hated me. I covered my face as I heard her rush over, sat next to me and pull me into her arms.
We sat like that for a while with me crying my eyes out and Caroline comforting me in her warm embrace.
After my tears turned to quiet hiccups, she finally spoke up, "Are you okay?"
The only thing I could do was shake my head 'no'.
"I know what everyone thinks you did, but I don't have to know you for as long as they have to know that you could never do that Emery. I don't believe it one bit and I want you to know that neither does Bailey or Beau or Delilah and most of the pack." She explained.
I turned to look at her in shock, "That's not possible."
She pulled away from me and fanned before her nose, "You really need some mouth wash Em." She laughed and lightened the mood considerably.
A small smile graced my face as she helped pulled me to my feet. She pushed herself up and sat on the counter top while I got to work on removing the awful sourness that plagued my mouth after emptying my stomach.
"You showed me kindness when I'm sure everyone else in the pack would've killed me for being rogue." Caroline began, "If you hadn't helped Beau that night in bringing us together then I'm sure I would've been tortured down there. Heck you saved all the rogues down there, even the bad guys, because you told your mate to stop torturing them."
I rinsed my mouth out and set my toothbrush aside as I faced her, "Caroline-" I began to shake my head but she stopped me.
"No Emery, you couldn't even stand knowing that other werewolves who weren't apart of your pack were being killed. So then how could it be possible for you to just throw someone you know to the hunters? You wouldn't do that especially since you and Thane are married and you've never been closer to the pack. They're your family and friends Emery." She stopped and pulled my face to look in her eyes to see her sincerity, "You would and could never do that and I'm going to fight by your side to ensure that everyone, including that ass of a mate you got, knows that."
"Count me in." I heard Beau said behind me as he stepped into the bathroom.
"Honey, it's girl time." Caroline scolded her mate as he walked up to her side.
"Hey, someone has to be here to fill in for Bailey." He rolled his eyes, "Plus Thane has a thing a two coming his way with this one angry at him." He pointed to me.
"Is Bailey angry with me?" I asked instead.
Caroline placed her hand on my shoulder, "Oh no way. It's just that her mom has been keeping her trapped in the pack house since she's pregnant and you know her mom already hates your guts for what happened to Abigail."
"And Lucas also wants her to stay out of this." Beau added and I knew that Lucas was siding with Thane.
"Great, even the Beta hates me." I scrubbed my hands down my face in defeat, "Is he still out there?" I pointed out the door.
"No he left to go find Thane." Beau answered.
"This is all my fault." I shook my head and felt like an anxiety attack was coming on.
Caroline jumped off the counter and held my arms, "Hey, hey. Just breath Em." I tried to listen to her and catch my breath, "Deep breaths in and out." She instructed.
When that wasn't working she pulled me into the bedroom.
"Okay, just sit on the bed and pull your knees up and tuck your head between your legs." She instructed me but I already knew what do to since it happened before.
I tried to breath in and out and control my stress and anxiety.
But it wasn't working. Thane somehow became my antidote and now he was gone.
I felt my breathing become shorter and my throat was closing up and my mind was wreaking havoc my me.
I felt a hand brushing me hair and Caroline's voice, "Breathe Emery, breathe. He loves you. You love him. Remember that."
I used her words and pictured yesterday in my mind. The wedding. The feelings. The emotions.
And somehow it worked and I was able to gather myself for the moment.
I took a few minutes to catch my breathe and regulate my heart rate before looking at her. "How'd you know to do that?" I asked her as I unfolded myself.
"After my pack died and I became a rogue, it happened pretty frequently because I was just a kid without anyone, so I tried that and it helped." She smiled at me but I could see the pain in her eyes from talking about her past.
"Maybe I should mind link Thane and tell him to come back and hear you out." Beau said worriedly.
I shook my head instantly, "No. I don't want him here right now. He decided what he wanted to believe and I'm not going to apologize for something I thought was right. I shouldn't have to explain my side of the story for him to trust me. He's known me for months and even married me and therefore he should have been able to tell that I was being honest in trying to help the pack." At that moment I felt stronger and knew that I couldn't forgive Thane for what he did easily, "He should know that I would never hurt anyone, he should've listened."
I felt the pain in my chest strike again.
"I'm with Emery on this one. Thane should have trusted her enough to at least listen to her side of the story." Caroline declared, "And just because he's your mate doesn't mean he deserves the benefit of the doubt."
"Thank you Caroline." I showed her my appreciation with a small smile, "And you too Beau."
"I trained him well." Caroline giggled and sent Beau a wink. "Now, why don't you take a little rest and we'll be right in the living room if you need us?"
I nodded my head despite knowing I wouldn't be able to close my eyes without seeing Ian's dead eyes and lifeless body.
The pair left me to my lonesome and I took a pillow off the bed and sat myself on the sofa in our room.
The more I sat on the bed, the more I remembered last night and I didn't want to plague the good memories with the bad or lay on the same bed that contained happiness.
It just didn't feel right without Thane next to me.
I set the pillow on one end and kicked my shoes off before laying down and curling up into a ball.
It was just my thoughts and myself left together and that didn't seem like a good combination at the moment.
My eyes couldn't even shut from the fright of seeing Ian's body or Thane's bloody face. The images distorted my mind. But the fact that Caroline and Beau believed in me and Thane didn't is really what had me up.
My own mate couldn't even trust me. I sighed and rolled onto my back and proceeded to list the reasons for not liking Thane very much at the moment while staring at the ceiling.
It must have been at least an hour when I finally got bored and decided to get up and find some company.
What I saw in the house however really baffled me. The back door leading out to the porch was concealed by a pack member standing like a soldier guarding the door and as I looked at the front door, there stood another one but it was a woman. From where I was standing, there was also a girl in the kitchen and a guy outside in the backyard.
"What the heck." I mumbled and walked over to guy at the back door.
"I'm sorry Luna but you can't leave the house." He said formally.
"I what?" I almost choked on air.
"You can't-"
"Oh I heard you the first time." I cut him off, "But tell me, why can't I leave my own house?" Not that I wanted to anyways.
"Alpha's orders."
"Why?" I asked impatiently but he refused to answer me, "I am your Luna and I want to know why." I said in a commanding tone to get him to submit.
"The Alpha commanded all of us," He pointed to all the guards, "not to disclose that information."
"Yeah because he doesn't have a good enough reason for his actions." I all but growled out as I turned and marched over to Caroline and Beau in the living room area.
"Why are there guards here?" I asked in confusion.
"Thane sent them over to ensure you didn't run away." Caroline said angrily, "He also made sure we didn't break you out."
Beau side eyed her and turned to me, "He's just making sure no angry pack member or that Jake guy gets to you."
I huffed and sat myself down across from them, "Why would I run? Why would anyone from the pack want to hurt me and how would Jake even get me?"
"Well firstly Thane is still an ass and thinks you were going to sacrifice a wolf." Caroline piped in but Beau cut in.
"He doesn't want you getting hurt because some, and I mean like just a few, pack members are angry at you but I doubt they would hurt their own Luna. But most importantly he sent someone to find Jake and the girl he has but it would take hours to reach there and Thane thinks that the Jake guy might be lurking outside the pack somewhere." Beau explained. "He's only trying to protect you."
"I think Caroline's explanation is more realistic." I mumbled and kicked my feet up on the coffee table.
Beau gave me a frown, "Don't be so pessimistic Emery, he loves you no matter what. You're his mate, his judgement maybe a little clouded but deep down he knows you wouldn't hurt anyone."
"Yeah, I doubt that. He had his chances to listen to me and he didn't. That says a lot about his love for me." I was frustrated with this entire situation.
"The cavalry's here." A very pregnant Bailey pushed her way into the door but was immediately blocked by the soldier.
"Step aside marine, or I will tell the Beta you were hustling a pregnant woman." Bailey grinned at the woman as she nodded in respect and stepped aside to let Bailey through.
"Bailey?" I said in confusion.
"Oh honey." She immediately wobbled to my side and pulled me into her arms, "I heard what happened, are you okay?"
"She's fine Bailey but if you don't let her go you might suffocate her." Caroline replied for me and I was immediately released from Bailey's tight grasp.
Looking at her, only made the water works start over for some reason. She pulled me back in her arms and allowed me to cry my heart out.
"Shh, it's going to be alright." She comforted me.
"No it isn't." I croaked out between sobs. "He hates me. He killed my friend. If Jake gets here..."
Bailey took my face in her hands and looked at me in the eye, "Nothing's going to happen okay. Jake isn't getting within a hundred miles of our land."
I shook my head because she didn't know that for sure. She let me cry until my eyes ran dry.
"Are you alright now?" She asked and I just gave her a nod.
"Oh, I'm so sorry about what happened to your friend Emery." She looked me over, "Oh dear you look pale and sick, are you sure you're alright? If not I could totally kick the Alpha's ass even in my pregnant state."
Her presence alone comforted me and I couldn't help but let out a little laugh, "I'm okay for now and thank you for being here."
"Anything for you Em, but you do look a bit sick. Maybe I should make you some soup." She got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen with the other three of us in tow.
"Thank goodness because I'm starving." Caroline mumbled as she, Beau and I took a seat on the bar stools at the counter while Bailey gathered her ingredients.
"You don't have to do this Bailey, I'm not hungry." I smiled at her in assurance.
"Speak for yourself Em, I just said I'm starving." Caroline persisted and Bailey happily continued her work.
"I'm making it and you all are going to eat." She said eyeing me.
"Wait, how did you escape your mother?" Beau questioned with a raised eyebrow.
Bailey gave us a mischievous grin and mumbled with a shrug, "I may or may not have locked her in the bedroom."
"Bailey, you evil pregnant woman." Caroline said proudly and reached across the the counter to give Bailey a high five which she happily accepted.
"What about Lucas?" Beau queried.
Bailey rolled her eyes at the question as she placed a cup of tea before me, "Contrary to popular belief Beau, my mate doesn't own or control me. He couldn't keep me away from Emery even if he threw me with my mother," she grinned my way, "but he's with Thane I think." Bailey watched me questioningly as if asking if she could speak about Thane in front of me so I nodded my head, "Apparently Thane ran a few miles away from the pack heading towards the human town but Lucas managed to find him and convinced to come back because they need a strategy. They sent a wolf to scout the human and spy on him though but just in case this happens to get bigger than we suspect, they want to formulate a plan."
"They're building a plan without me? I better go." Beau rose from his seat but Caroline pulled him back down.
"If they wanted you there they would've mind linked you." She huffed.
Bailey gave him a sympathetic look, "She's right. After Thane killed that human he saw you hug Emery and is pretty pissed off."
"Yeah I hugged her because he was doing a god awful job at protected his mate." He said angrily, "He killed that guy right in front of her and decided to flee the scene, what was I supposed to do? Leave her to pass out?"
"You did the right thing babe." Caroline tried to calm him down. She placed a kiss on his forehead and kept her arm wrapped around his shoulder.
"This is all my fault." I whispered out and lowered my head.
"No honey, it isn't. You just didn't expect it to escalate this far." Bailey tried to comfort me.
"She's right Em, you did nothing wrong. Maybe if you told us what happened we can help you." Caroline tried to offer me a smile.
I nodded my head because she was right, I still had to explain to someone else what went down that day.
"But first drink your tea." Bailey instructed as she saw that I hadn't touched the mug.
Feeling as if my stomach would reject anything I had, I only took a sip before I spoke up.
"Three days ago," I stopped and cleared my throat because it was very croaky, "I was in the pack house alone since everyone was setting up for the wedding. That's when I saw him, Jake, my ex-boyfriend. At first I thought it was a hallucination but when I went to the back of the pack house, at the edge of the forest, it was really him."
"And what did you do?" Caroline pressed when I took a pause.
"Well I can't deny that at first I was a bit excited to see someone from my past..." I looked up and Bailey gave me an encouraging nod to go on, "But that quickly went away as I realized he was actually here and if he found out about you guys, then we would be in trouble. The thing is before I could complete that thought he threw it in my face. He knows what you all are and he found his way into the pack and the only thing my mind told me to do was run, but I couldn't." The vivid memory of him gripping my arms made me shudder and I hugged myself, "I couldn't run because I had to find out how he knew and I physically couldn't get away because he had me in his grips."
I heard a growl and saw an angry Caroline, Bailey and Beau.
"He also knew something strange." I muttered.
"What does he know?" Caroline asked in confusion.
"He cut my palm because he knew I could heal." I said and I could basically feel everyone's anger radiating off of their bodies.
"He knew you could heal?" Beau gasped and I nodded my head, "That's odd considering the only people who knows that are in this pack."
I shrugged and went on, "He told me that a good friend of his told him where I am and about the werewolf world, but I only just found out it was some girl when Ian explained what's been happening. Anyways, he tranquilized one of the wolves to get into the pack territory and that's what he gave me to get one of the wolves to him. The moment he said he knew about werewolves, I knew he was up to something because he hunted the beast for most of his life so finally discovering what it is, wasn't going to stop him from killing each and every one of you." I took a sip of the tea to help calm my nerves before I went on. "I asked him what he wanted and that was when he told me his grand plan...he wanted me to tranquilize a member of the pack and bring him or her to him so he would have proof that werewolves exists.
"At first I said no because it was absurd to even entertain that idea. I would rather have died at his hands than let any one of you get locked up in some lab and tested like a rat or let him have proof to cause a war that would lead to the genocide of the werewolf race." I tried to explain.
"But, you agreed?" Bailey's face twisted in confusion as she asked.
"I couldn't deny him."
"And why the hell not?! We would've been able to take him!" Caroline expressed.
"No was around and he had silver bullets." At that, they all went deadly silent. "The bullet would've hit anyone before you could kill him, so I agreed. He said if I didn't, he would wage a war between the hunters and werewolves, he would lead them all here and I couldn't have that." I scrubbed my hands down my face in agony.
"But if you gave them a wolf they would have done it anyways." Beau pointed out.
"I know and that's what I told him but he said that if I agreed to it he would warn me before he attacked so that Thane and I could run away and he would let us live."
"And you accepted that?!" Caroline almost fell off her stool accusing me.
"No!" I groaned out, "Well yes, I did but not for that reason. I only told him yes because he would believe me since he knew Thane and I are mates. Also I had an agenda." I sighed and hoped they believed me, "I told him to come back in three because I knew Thane and I would've been mated by then so when Jake came back and I went to meet him, I could easily mind link Thane that Jake was here. Thane could have ambushed him from behind. Even if Jake kidnapped me, then Thane would've been able to track my scent since it would've been more powerful for him after we mated and I would've been able to warn him about silver bullets as well. I wasn't going to sacrifice anyone and I didn't want anyone to get hurt and at the time, it seemed like an efficient plan."
"But why didn't you tell Thane after Jake came here?" Bailey asked.
"Because we don't know where Jake's source is coming from and if someone in the pack is leaking information to the girl he's with then if I had told Thane before, everything and everyone would have been at risk. Plus he was excited for the wedding and I didn't want him to cancel it because of stupid Jake. Clearly I'm the stupid one however because I woke up too late and now the mess is made." I looked at each of them as they seemed to be contemplating what I said, "You guys have to believe me, I never wanted to put anyone in danger, I just wanted to get rid of Jake without any wolves dying or any other humans finding out."
Bailey walked around the counter and came to my side and pulled me into a hug, "I believe you honey."
"So do I, even though your plan was stupid." Caroline grumbled and joined the hug.
"Ditto." Beau agreed with his mate, "You were only trying to protect us Emery and I hope Thane knows that as much as we do."
"He didn't want to hear me out before and he had the chance to listen. I'm not going to bother explaining myself to him now, he can believe what he wants." I shrugged in defeat.
"Well forget about him for now, let's eat." Bailey dragged our attention away from the gloomy topic back to her cooking as she grabbed a few bowls and poured some soup into each.
"Thank you for doing this Bailey." I appreciated her help even though her own mother and mate didn't want her around me at the moment.
She just smiled in return as I attempted to stomach the soup. My appetite was long gone but I tried to get the hot liquid down since I had not eaten all day.
However, not even Bailey's delicious cooking could be kept down as I leaped up from my seat and ran straight into the bathroom and empty the little of what I ate. I guess the visual of Ian's pleading eyes and dead body still had me queasy.
I flushed the toilet and scrubbed my mouth to get rid of the taste. I decided to take a warm bath to relax my muscles and ease the stress of the day.
'Are you okay?', I heard Bailey's voice in my mind and jumped in fright because I had forgotten about my new ability.
'Yeah, I'm fine. Just need a moment.', I linked back to her before I got in the shower and turned the water to scolding hot.
I stepped under the water and allowed the heat to relax my tense muscles for a bit before it got to the point of feeling like my skin was on fire.
I quickly scrubbed the day's grime off myself and found some comfy pajamas in the closet which I changed into before going back out to my supporters.
The three were all gathered in the living room as I approached them and Bailey gave me a sympathetic look.
"I'm fine." I told her before she could ask and set myself next to her and across from Caroline and Beau.
Caroline pulled the conversation in the direction of a small idle chit chat while I snuggled into the couch and kept myself warm as the fireplace burned.
Before we knew it, it was after midnight and I insisted for them all to leave and get some sleep and that I would be okay. Even though on the inside I wasn't okay and with the lack of company, besides my guards, it was going to be a lonely night.
Not having much of anything to do, I strolled back to the bedroom, grabbed a blanket and stretched out on the sofa.
Thane hadn't even bothered to return.
I kept the lights on because I was terrified that the darkness would bring unwanted demons with it.
But after a while, I finally fought off my demons as tiredness succumbed me to sleep.
~~~
Thane and I sat in the middle of a beautiful meadow as I giggled at one of his many jokes. The sun shined brilliantly above us and the flowers were freshly blooming as if it were spring time.
The smile on his face compared to nothing else I had ever seen and I ran my hand over his cheek and noticed my wedding ring gleaming in the sun.
'I love you', I told him but the words didn't escape my mouth and I tried again to find my voice, 'I love you,' but no sound came out.
Thane's beautiful smile twisted into a sorrowful expression and he got off the ground, "You don't love me."
'I love you damn it!' I tried to yell at him but he couldn't hear me as his face contorted into heartbreak.
'You want to kill us all.' He declared as the sky turned gloomy and the flowers around us withered and died.
He turned his back to me and walked away as a strong wind struck through the meadow and tossed my hair over my eyes and concealed my view for a brief second.
When I managed to pull my hair away from my view, I saw the one person who I never wanted to see again in my life.
There Jake stood, concealed to the left of us by a huge tree trunk. I tried to yell at Thane to get his attention but my voice failed me and Jake gave me a sinister grin as he withdrew something from his jacket.
A gun.
I tried to get on my feet but they felt like two anchors weighing me down and preventing me from getting up.
From where I sat on the ground, I saw Jake place his finger on the trigger.
And just like that, a loud sound echoed through the forest as a silver glint flashed before my eyes and flew straight through Thane's back.
I felt as if it was slow motion as my lungs felt like they were collapsing, my heart fell to my stomach and Thane's body dropped to the ground, face first.
I looked back over to where Jake stood but it was empty with no sign of anyone else. My feet suddenly felt lighter and I quickly pulled myself up and ran to my mate.
I dropped down next to his body which was laying in a pool of blood. I struggled to turn him over and grabbed onto his chest where the bullet flew through his body and applied as much pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding and forced as much of my healing powers into Thane's body.
But I was too late. He was already dead and it was all my fault.
Thane was dead.
I screamed.
A/N
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