A few days pass. Maybe a week? I'm not paying attention anymore.
I've finally won Jasper's complete trust. He sticks to my side like a magnet. If only this could've happened before I met the Winchesters, and got into this mess. On the plus side, since I've completely tricked Jasper, he's helped me gain full access back to the veil again, which means if I can get Sam, Dean and Cas in here, I can help them with their plan, and they can take me back.
At least, that's how it would work in a perfect situation.
However, as much as I love living my life walking on eggshells, I spend most of my time praying to Cas to get me out of here.
Today is no different. I stand outside the sanctuary, back to my former work, but my mind is occupied trying to contact Castiel. I'm sure by now he's heard me at least once, and I'm sure that by now, they know I'm gone. What I'm not sure of is whether or not they're searching for me. That seems to be a recurring thing.
The hours pass. Being back is a little unusual now. People treat me differently. Still with respect, but there's something different. It's like they know that I'm vulnerable now, and it surely changes things.
"Hey," Jasper greets me, interrupting my reverie. He kisses my cheek discreetly. "How's it going?"
"Fine, nothing new," I reply, giving him a sweet smile. "What's up?"
"I'm giving you a break. Go relax for a bit."
"You don't have to tell me twice."
I leave hastily, and sneak away to a secluded part of the veil where I can be alone to think. It's too risky for me to be sneaking down to Earth these days.
I walk through an abandoned hall, relishing the familiar stone and marble craftsmanship of the walls and floors. For a second, I'm comforted.
Then, I'm suddenly taken by the arm into a room that's supposed to be boarded up. My mouth is covered and I'm held still until I stop struggling.
"It's just me," Castiel says, releasing his hold on me.
I turn around and literally throw my arms around him. "I've never been so happy to see you."
"You've known me for only small while, don't get ahead of yourself," he stubs out my joy. "Listen. I can't stay long, they'll know I'm here."
"Okay, I'm all ears," I nod.
"Just know that I can hear everything you're saying to me, for starters," he sighs. "Did you truly think we'd let you be taken and not come find you? We're a team now, remember that." I nod. That makes me feel better. "There's a change of plans now. We're going to be doing this solely on your guidance since you're here, and you can communicate with me. It will be difficult, because you can't hear me, but we can make it work. Are you following me?"
"Yeah," I nod again.
"Okay. Dean and I will be ready whenever you decide to give me the signal. It's your call. Preferably soon, though." Castiel pauses. "It'll take Dean and I about 45 seconds to get into the veil after you give me the signal. I can land anywhere in this place you tell me to, so choose wisely. Preferably as close to the sanctuary as we can get."
"Once we're in a position we can speak to each other, it will be much easier. If something goes wrong, but you can't tell us, use Poughkeepsie. It's the Winchesters' word for drop everything and run. In which case, I'll do everything in my power to grab the souls, as well as you and Dean, and get us out of here and back to the bunker."
"Okay," I breathe. It's a lot to take in. "This is risky, Cas. Are you sure you want to go with this?"
He nods. "This is the best way. We trust you. You remember all of your training, correct?"
"Yes."
"Good, you might need it if it comes to that. Hopefully it doesn't." Cas pauses, seemingly listening to something that I can't hear. "Someone's coming. I have to go, and you should hide. Or make up an excuse. I don't care. Remember, Mallory, soon."
Before I can respond, Cas is gone. I hear footsteps approaching the room, and quickly hide in a dark part of the room behind some shelves.
Someone that I don't recognize opens the door, peeks around the room, then closes it again. I release the breath I was holding, wait a few minutes, then hurry out of the room.
My mind races. I feel the pressure sinking in; a million scenarios are running through my head. What if I give Cas the all clear, but at the wrong time? What if someone heard us talking? What if they get ambushed? It would be all my fault. No matter what happens. It's going to be my fault.
I don't realize how fast I'm walking until I bump into a random reaper and practically body him onto the ground.
"Sorry," I apologize in a shallow manner, and help him up.
He doesn't say anything. Either that, or I don't hear him, because I'm walking away just as fast as I was before. I reach my quarters. Not Jasper's, mine. I go in to find an unexpected scene.
Nothing.
There isn't a single item in what was formerly my dwelling. It's simply an empty, square room. I'm not worried, because I didn't have anything that truly was crucial to me in my quarters, but I find it weird that I went missing for a few weeks and somebody's answer was to simply erase me.
Curious, I wonder if all of my weapons are still in the specialist armory. I make my way through the halls to the armory, and unlock the hefty door. With relief, I see my blades sitting neatly where I left them, and take a deep breath. Then I realize that I'm going to want those when I return to the bunker for good.
I grab a duffel bag and carefully sheathe all my blades, then place them in the bag. I throw a few cleaning rags in with them to make sure they don't make any noise, then hurry back to Jasper's quarters and stash them under a bunch of my clothes, but keep one of my favorites in my boot.
Just as I finish, Jasper walks through the door. He looks worn out.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Fine," he shrugs.
"Okay," I accept his short answer. "I'll go to the post. See you later."
"No, I got someone else to guard for a bit. Stay here."
I frown. Who else is watching the sanctuary?
Nevertheless, I back away from the door. He sits down on the black suede couch and pats the space beside him. I sit down, realizing how uncomfortable it is compared to my bed at the bunker...
Jasper puts an arm around me and kisses my temple. I do my best to settle in under his hold, but my mind is racing. All I can think of is Cas and I's talk.
"Relax," Jasper mumbles.
"What?" I stutter.
"You seem so tense," he observes. "You should relax."
"Sorry, I don't mean to be," I excuse myself.
Jasper rubs my arm. "I could help you relax a bit."
I don't say anything. His sleazy words make me uneasy. Although, I don't know why; before this mess started, I would be more than willing to let Jasper help me...relax.
Before I know it, his other hand is finding the hem of my shirt, but I'm quick to shut it down.
"Stop," I command, placing my hand over his.
"Mallory, what's wrong?" He asks. "You're so different now. Did someone hurt you?"
I shake my head, retracting myself from him. "No. You're different too, you know. I'm just not feeling this."
"What do you mean?" Jasper challenges me. It's obvious I offended him.
"I mean I don't want to sleep with you, and I don't want to be here right now," I explain. "It's nothing personal, really. I'm just having a hard time and I want to be on my own. I'm going to go guard for a while."
He stands, making hysterical gestures as he speaks. "What? Are you forgetting that I got you back here? I'm the reason you're even able to be free in the veil. You owe me some type of reparation because if it weren't for me -"
"I know," I interrupt. "You've reminded me. Sorry. I'll be back soon."
I quickly exit his quarters, as I don't want to give him the chance to get much angrier. Something about him puts me on edge, and not in a good way. My mind slows as I walk quickly. The realization hits me that this is the time to go through with this plan. I can't stay with Jasper if he's like this, and I have no other place here.
I reach the steps and relieve who I've learned to be Sigrid, a fellow reaper who's also befriended Jasper. She's kind, and quiet. As I tell her she can leave, she simply thanks me and scurries into the shadows.
When she's gone, I take a deep breath and prepare myself.
"Cas, I hope you can hear this," I whisper. A hope falls over me — I know he hears me. "Do it now."