SAY HELLO TO A NEW BEGINNING
"So whose the newly wed bride?" Louis asked over the phone to his mum, lazing around on the sofa and sipping away at a can of coke. He was awake earlier than normal just to catch a call from his mother from her honeymoon. She was delighted to be going away for a while to Bora Bora, her dream location and she was over the moon. Louis was really happy with the outcome of the wedding, exceeding it's expectations and ending up with a loving boyfriend who was still snoring away upstairs.
Jay laughed over the line, sounding so light and happy-- it was refreshing to hear. Finally, all his family was sorted and everyone had something going for them. "I'm good, thank you. Dan is treating me really well here."
"I'm sure he is," Louis rolled his eyes. "How's the place?"
"It's brilliant! Just how I expected it. Lovely beach, huts-- it's all so magical. I wish you and Harry and the girls were here!"
"Ssh, why would we be there? It's your damn honeymoon!"
"I just really miss you guys. The wedding was so magical, exactly how I imagined it to be."
The pictures of the wedding had been released on the same day, spreading all over the internet and all over twitters as devoted fangirls were crazy. Louis grinned as he scrolled through all the tweets girls had sent him, finding himself to be blown away by Harry's beauty. He looked so intrigued by everything around him, acting like himself and a clear smile on his face in all the pictures. It was also amazing how Harry had met Louis's family, introducing himself and making himself homely around everyone else. It just all felt like a dream.
"Same, the wedding was good."
Louis purposely missed out the details of Dalton turning up, not wanting his mother's image of the perfect wedding to be tainted and ruined. He was irrelevant, he needed to be forgotten and never brought up.
"Dan is so amazing Lou. How did I get so lucky?" She sighed dreamily through the other end.
"He best stay amazing," Louis muttered back, his voice threatening and low.
"What's your plan for today then?"
"Well, me and Harry decided to go back and meet Anne..." Louis said, his voice trailing away. He really wanted Harry to get back, mix in with the people who really matter but he was afraid. He was afraid that his mother was going to reject him at the front door. She wasn't a fan of Dalton right from the beginning and Harry didn't want to hurt her anymore. Louis was almost certain that Anne wouldn't do that, she was loving and she always accepted everyone back with open arms. He was so fond of Anne and hadn't seen her for almost four years now. They definitely needed to make that trip.
"What, really? Is he up for it?" Jay sounded more concerned now.
He shrugged, sighing. "He's a little scared."
"Do you blame the poor guy? He literally left his family to move with this complete bastard who turned out to be abusive! He's probably feeling like complete shit, Lou."
"He does, I know he does."
At night, Louis didn't dare fall asleep before Harry did. Harry was the big spoon, cuddling up to him and trying to make himself comfortable as Louis got used to the feeling of finally having someone to sleep with. He would wait in complete silence, scared to breathe too loudly until Harry's breathing went even and he was blissfully taken away by dreams. Then, Louis would allow him to catch a wink of sleep too. Sometimes, during the night whilst Louis waited, Harry would end up clutching tighter and squeezing Louis until he was struggled but didn't budge-- he wanted to provide that comfort for his boyfriend. It was just hard to lay there, knowing your love is hurting but not knowing the right words to say to make him feel better.
"Offer him support for meeting Anne, I can't even imagine how he feels!"
Louis tried to put himself in Harry's shoes, going to meet his family after three years of no contact and it was nerve wracking. He couldn't go a day without talking to his mother, joking around with his sisters-- he was such a family guy. But as far as he could remember, so was Harry. Harry loved his mother, he loved baking with her and acting like a complete goof. He would always treat Anne, take her out and always give back for all the amazing things she did for Harry. He was also so good to Gemma, his older sister, and treated her with the utmost respect. Harry knew his space, he always wanted to appreciate the little things his family could offer since they weren't the most rich people in the world and made each day count.
He got a job right from the age of 16, working in a bakery and always giving half his wages to Anne so she could supply for the whole family. Harry's always had a big heart, always wanting others to be happy before and putting himself second. Louis was so proud of him, wanted him to know exactly how amazing he was.
Louis felt himself tearing up just by thinking of his boyfriend's habits and how lucky he was. "I can't either."
"Get off the phone, go make his breakfast and make him feel at ease. It's a big day for him. How long you guys going to stay?"
"As long as he wants."
Then he hanged up, started packing a bag for himself and Harry. He added anything they were going to need including lube just for staying on the safe side. He knew that they were nowhere close to coming to sexual contact yet, Harry always freaked out and Louis didn't want to force anything but there could always be a moment and he wanted to stay prepared. He threw in shirts, sweats, jeans and shoes before adding in toiletries.
Finally, he returned to bed where Harry was just beginning to wake up, rubbing his eyes and looking awfully tired. His face was pale and nerves were evident from the moment his eyes were open. He glanced around the room nervously. "Is today the day?" He asked.
Louis nodded sympathetically, frowning. "Baby, we can skip it if you don't-"
"No, no. I want to go." He insisted, getting out of bed. "Let me take a shower, you go and eat breakfast."
It was clear that Harry wanted his space and Louis wasn't going to stay around, he wanted him to be comfortable so he left and went to the kitchen. Today he decided to prepare porridge, going for a more fulling option that was going to last the long drive there and keep them going throughout the hard day that followed. He added banana to it, knowing how much Harry loved it and made a quick smoothie to go along with it. Louis was getting better at more creative ideas for breakfast and he loved preparing it everyday.
When Harry finally made his way downstairs, he was looking evidently more pale and was stumbling over his steps slightly but refused to let any words slip from his mouth. He sat down gracefully, looking appreciative over the visibly appealing food and moaning in pleasure.
"Thank you my lovely boyfriend." He praised, stuffing him mouth in porridge and Louis couldn't help but feel his heart swell. For once, Harry wasn't counting his calories and obsessing over what was going down his mouth. He was eating food like it didn't matter, getting it down like him like he actually enjoyed it and not like he was being forced-- and it felt good to see. It was so good that Louis couldn't help but to lean down, kissing him on the forehead and whispering just how proud he was.
After an hour, they were ready and standing at the door with their overnights bag. Harry was trying to be cheerful, putting on a brave face as they both headed to the car but Louis could see straight through his lies, through his fake smile. He didn't say anything though. They had a whole three hours drive to get through, more than enough time to talk it through.
As Louis started up the car, warming it up as the cold breeze went through the car, he glanced over to Harry and smiled. "How do you feel?" He asked.
Harry shrugged. "I'm good, excited actually."
It was all lies, it was clearly just to calm Louis down but he didn't need the reassurance. It wasn't him who was going to reunite with his family, it was Harry who was trying to act strong. How many times will he act tough when he really needs someone? Someone to hold him, kiss him and tell him it's okay to break down, it's okay.
"Really?" Louis asked, clearly not convinced as he started backing out of the driveway and settling down the slightly busy roads. It's only 11am, still clear of any traffic but the motorways were unpredictable. He just loved road trips.
Harry nodded, gulping. "Yeah."
Louis didn't reply, not saying a word as he put the radio up slightly to drown out any awkward conversations or silences. They enjoyed each other's silent company, driving in complete comfort and occasionally singing along to the words like goofs. Louis would look at Harry with so much fond that he could feel it radiating off his face. Harry was just perfect, from every angle and side and he just wanted him to know, for Harry to know exactly how amazing he was.
After an hour of driving, Harry started shaking his leg up and down, looking around like a lost puppy and Louis noticed straight away. "Is everything okay babe?" He asked instantly, wanting him to relax. Anne wasn't going to turn him away, tell him to leave-- she was definitely going to accept his with open arms.
"I'm so.. God, I'm weak." Harry complained, his head bowed in embarrassment as he fiddled with his fingers.
Louis didn't say a word, feeling his throat close up as he searched frantically for a space to park the car just for a second. He wanted to lecture Harry, tell him that weak wasn't even supposed to be part of his dictionary but at the same time, he wanted to kiss Harry so hard that these stupid ideas would fly straight out of his mind. Unfortunately, there was no way to stop on the motorway besides the service stop so he took the first left in.
"Where are we going?" Harry asked, his eyes widening as he jumped up to analyse the unfamiliar surroundings.
"Ssh," Louis simply said, not knowing what else to say as he parked up and got straight out of the car. He walked over to the other side of the car, opening Harry's door and giving him a stern look. "What did you say?"
Harry looked scared, fear crowding his green eyes as he whimpered away, trembling. "What?"
"Tell me, what did you say?" He didn't want to sound so demanding, so controlling but he could feel fury to Harry for even thinking he was weak. He couldn't help it, couldn't help the over protective side of his coming out.
Harry's lip quivered. "Don't hurt me," he choked out, covering his face just slightly like he was sheltering himself from any blow he was about to receive and Louis's heart sank.
Louis had no idea what his behaviour was coming off as, but he really didn't want his boyfriend thinking Louis was about to attack him. His arms fell limp to his sides, dumb founded as he stared at a vulnerable Harry who was covering himself away, preparing for a hit or two. Louis cursed under his breath, reaching out for Harry's hard who flinched away.
"Baby, I'm not going to hurt you..." He whispered, his voice low and soothing like he was trying to nurse Harry. "Come here, let's go to the back seat."
Harry followed, not saying a word as he held Louis's hand and let himself dragged out of the front seat. Louis moved the front seat forward so there was more room in the back as they climbed in together. He grabbed Harry, placing him on his lap and straddling him, holding him firmly and feeling like shit.
"I didn't mean to scare you like that Haz," he promised, at a complete loss of words to explain what had just happened. He hadn't expected Harry to shy away, completely assume that Louis would stoop that low, to that level.
Harry shuddered like he had just had a horrible flashback, frowning. "I'm just... sorry, I don't know why I did that."
"I wanted to stop the car because I'm angry, Harry. You called yourself weak and you're so far from it, you're the single most strongest person I have ever come acrossed and I admire you for what you've been through. All that pain and yet, you manage to be Mr Harry Styles. Charming, easy to talk to, everyone's favourite and I'm so so proud of you."
Harry looked close to tears, wiping at his cheeks and smiling. "You know all the right words, don't you?"
"Don't ever ever think I'm going to hit you, that's not who I am."
"I know."
"No, you don't. Remember that."
"Let's keep going before I change my mind about going to mum's," Harry begged and Louis shut him off with a quick, hard kiss on the lips, on the neck before picking him up and slowly putting him back on the passenger seat.
On the way there, they talked about the most stupid things and recalled on old memories from school. They discussed the little hang out they had in school, how they always managed to get up to trouble there and when Louis broke the school window. He had gotten suspended for a week and Harry was miserable, dreading having to face even a day of school without him despite the fact he had all the rest of the boys. They reminisced on the times where they went to every school house party, fucking shit up and drinking like no tomorrow and dancing along to the techno beat. They looked back on the time on prom when they decided to be each other's dates, Louis picking Harry up in the car he had hired and driving them in the most glamorous way.
Everything about their friendship was beautiful and it felt good to look back on. They had literally spent each part of their growing up together, from the vital ages all the way through college but it stopped right there. The memories cut short, the university and modelling dreams that went flying out of the window and Louis was left along with his singing career that was growing out of control so fast-- it was difficult to even think about.
"I miss school," Harry sighed after the heavy conversation.
"I do too."
"I wish we could just... forget everything, go back to what we used to have."
"We have now, and that's more than enough for me." Louis said, effectively ending the conversation with followed silence.
When there was only under 45 minutes left, Harry became more obviously anxious as he started shaking and mewling to himself. His hands were uncontrollable as he tried to hold it against his thighs, to calm it down but finding it was out of his control. He would shake his his head to get his wild curls out of his eyes, to be able to see straight and Louis felt terrible. He was driving, he was incapable of calming Harry down in anyway but he desperately wanted to.
"Is everything okay?" Louis asked, feeling stupid as soon as the words came out because he knew exactly what was on Harry's mind.
Harry nodded, just slightly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
"Are you sure, love? I know you're scared."
"I'm so scared."
"Your mum is going to be so happy to see you," Louis reassured him, smiling at the thought. He could just picture Harry standing there, biting his lips as Anne embraces him -- like happy families already. "She's going to cry, that's for sure."
"What if she tells me to leave?" Harry's voice was barely audible.
"What?" Louis spluttered. "Why the hell would she tell you to leave?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen to her and went off with Dalton. Look where it landed me."
Louis felt those words sting, straight to the heart. From all the bad has occured, it landed him right here with Louis and Harry was talking about it like it was the worst thing ever. Sure, it was hard to see the right from wrong right now when you're trying to heal from three years of mental and physical abuse but he didn't need to be so bitter about it. Louis nodded, more to himself, not speaking a word.
"Lou?" Harry raised an eyebrow.
Louis hummed, not wanting to reply because he felt like he could burst into tears any second. He had spent the last three years of his life living, breathing for Harry and it felt overwhelming to hear those words. He just needed a minute, just to stop over thinking and to calm himself down and he really didn't want to talk.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No." Louis quickly said, not wanting to make it a big deal, gulping down the initial pain. "No."
"Is it what I said about where it landed me? I didn't mean it like that..."
He didn't reply, just looked straight ahead at where he was driving and concentrated on not crashing the car. He just wanted to get to Anne's house already, feeling an urgent rush of needing the toilet and needing to throw up.
Harry sounded more desperate more. "Please, Louis! I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry. I meant the three years of abuse and I'm-"
"I understand, don't worry." And Louis didn't understand, this was just his natural reaction to everything and he couldn't even help it.
"I'm scared." He repeated.
"Don't be, I promise it'll be fine." Louis reached over, placing a hand over Harry's thigh and giving it a squeeze for support, to remind him that Louis was here no matter what.
When they finally pulled up at Anne's house, it was just like how it's always been. The same old house on the end of the same old street, the same three windows and the same white painted door. There was still the same white fence that had 'Styles Residence' painted on it and Louis felt all the memories wash over him. He used to be so familiar to this area, used to go to this house like it was his second home and he missed it so much.
Harry, on the other hand, had tears gathering up in his eyes and he made no attempt to wipe them away. He couldn't tear his eyes off the house, like his life depended on it as he squeezed his own hands together. Louis reached over, placing his hands over the younger boys.
"Are you ready?"
"No." Harry answered truthfully, shaking his head like he was suddenly regretting this. "No, no, no, Lou, no!"
"Ssh, baby," Louis cooed, feeling helpless. "We can stay in here until you're prepared."
So, they sat in the car for another few minutes that felt like hours passing by. It was painful sitting there, watching Harry mentally prepare himself to go into his own childhood house like he had never been here before. He was excessively worrying for no reason, getting himself worked up and then realising how stupid he's being.
Finally, he nodded and unbuckled his seat belt. There was no sign of a smile on his face but he looked more bright now, confident. "I miss them, I want to see them now."
Louis didn't say a word, unbuckling his seat belt and climbing out. He waited till Harry joined his side, sliding his hand into his and intertwining the fingers together, giving it a squeeze. It was such a small gesture but it made him feel closer to Harry more than ever as they both walked together towards the front door. There was a moment between them, just looking at each other before Louis reached over and rang the door.
"Oh my god, oh my god," Harry repeated in a hushed tone to himself, still shaking.
There was a few voices from behind the door, some shuffling and a key in the lock and the anticipation grew. The tension felt insane between them before the door opened slowly and before them revealed a much grown, mature Gemma.
Her hair blonde, long and wavy and past her boobs with her matching green eyes like Harry. She looked more healthy now, and her face twisted up to a heart warming and bright smile. She literally screamed, clutching her face like it was a dream before pulling Harry into a soul crushing hug.
"Harry! Fuck, no! This is a dream, right? No, no," she said to herself as she didn't let go of Harry, lightly moving left to right and swaying Harry with her. "I missed you so much, oh my god!" Her voice cracking at the end.
Harry was crying by now, tears rolling down his cheeks as he kept back his sobs and stayed limp around Gemma's embrace. It was clear he needed the family loving, needed the attention and affection more than ever and it was more than what Louis could ever give him. This was his blood, the place where he can come and feel content -- where he truly belongs, always.
Finally, she pulled away only to sprinkle dozens of kisses all over Harry's face, grinning widely. "Mum!" She screamed, craning her head back and shouting as loud as she could, proud. "Mum, come here right now!"
"What is wrong with you?" Anne called from within the house, her voice coming closer. "Why are you screaming like a idiot, Gems?"
But, when she appeared the door, she dropped her phone right out of her hand and her mouth was left hanging open as she blinked a few times. Anne was shocked, not even sure whether this was real life as she took a few seconds to control her breathing. It didn't even take a minute before she exploded into tears, bawling as she took Harry into her arms. Louis took a step back, letting the family have a moment.
Anne wasn't capable of words, just kissing Harry's curls and holding him close to her. Harry didn't say a word either, just letting himself be passed around the family and not making a sound-- just small weeping noises escaping from his throat.
They finally managed to make it inside the house and Louis was shocked, everything was exactly where it was when he last came here. The walls were still the same dull cream colour, the same couches with the same old TV. Nothing had changed, not once inch had been moved and it felt homely. It was like returning home after so long, to somewhere you belong. Louis leaned over to see Harry, his mouth hanging open, covered by his hand as he glanced over the room in admiration.
"Mum!" He squealed, a weird noise escaping from his throat which was a cross between a cry and a choke. "This is so, oh my." He finally let out his words.
Anne just smiled fondly. "Baby, I've missed you so."
"Sit down, let me get some food!" Gemma chirped, clapping her hand, giving Harry one hard look before disappearing into the kitchen. Louis sat down with Harry, putting his hands on his thighs and listening contently.
"What did you do for university?" Anne ended up bringing up, not taking her eyes off her son.
Louis noticed how clearly tense Harry got, his hands put together and clenching as he looked down ashamed. Louis squeezed his thighs, trying to offer whatever little support he could manage to give right now.
"I didn't... go, mum," Harry said in a whispered tone.
"What?"
"He didn't go," Louis said, filling in for Harry.
Anne didn't look impressed, she raised her eyebrows but didn't ask. "That's alright baby, where do you work?"
Another hard hitting question which made Harry freeze up, all over again and Louis hated how Anne was managing to hit all the soft spots right from the beginning.
"I... don't work."
Anne scrunched her eyebrows together, just nodding and moving to Louis. "Lou dear!" She exclaimed as if she just realised that he was sitting here too, offering moral support to her son. She had clearly noticed Louis's hand resting on Harry's thigh. "I'm so proud of you, I've been seeing all your music videos and interviews! How did it get so big?"
Louis smiled, loved it when people brought up his successful career because he felt like he had a reason to be proud of himself. "I'm not sure, ma'am. It just got... big. I'm guessing it was the fans, owe it all to them."
"Ma'am!" Anne scoffed. "Louis, you've known me all your life, don't you dare call me that! That's amazing though, honey. And your new album is coming out, right?"
"Yes, it is. Really excited to start letting people listen to it! Harry, here, is a lucky one and got to listen to a few tracks exclusively."
Anne's smile fell, just slightly. "I'm just confused boys, correct me if I'm wrong. But didn't Harry leave from here to go and move in with Dalton?"
Harry nodded. "Yes, mum, I did."
"Didn't it last?" She asked, curiously.
"We broke up a few months ago, actually." Harry confirmed, clearing his throat like this was a highly awkward topic to even recall.
"And now, Louis is--?"
"My boyfriend."
Louis could never get tired of those words coming out from Harry's mouth, a title he was waited all his life to be called as he gave another squeeze to Harry's thigh. He wanted to do more, give him a kiss or two but he couldn't break into that right in front of his mother. Louis had morals and that was for behind closed doors.
Anne frowned. "It's only been a few months since you guys broke up and you already-? Wait, weren't you and Dalton together for three years?"
"Mum." Harry said firmly. "I'd rather, not talk about it."
"Hell yeah we're going to talk about it. You disappear for three years, cut off connections with your own mother and then expect me not to even mention it?" Anne was close to tears again, this time tears of anger and betrayal as she crossed her arms. This was the first time Louis could notice the hurt, the fury behind her eyes and he felt his heart ache for this mother. "I missed you, like crazy Harry and it's horrible to sleep everyday not knowing where your son is!"
Harry let a few tears slip too, out of regret. "I'm sorry mum, I wish I could change things and never let it..." he stopped.
"You shouldn't of left that damned day. You and Louis had always planned to move in together, didn't you? Then one day, you return home with packed bags and you told me you were never coming back. It was so unexpected and it got me deep."
Harry sucked in a deep breath. Anne was clearly unaware of all the abuse that was going behind closed doors, how Harry had no choice and how he was overly controlled by Dalton. It was disgusting, it made Louis want to throw up every time he came close to thinking about it.
Gemma returned into the room, carrying trays of tea and snacks as she frowned at the topic of discussion. "Mum," she said sternly, shooting her a look. "We got so much time to discuss that. He just came back, let's just relax."
That's exactly what they did. They had a few cake slices, laid back and had tea whilst Gemma put on the movie Frozen on. It was like being back at home, in your own comfort zone. Harry snuggled up to Louis, placing his head on the older boy's shoulder and sighing in content. Louis snaked his arms around Harry, pulling him closer if that was even possible and they focused on the movie-- one of their favourites.
Anne kept watching them, from the corner of her eyes but not commenting and ever so slightly, smiling.
They had dinner then returned to watching movies, tv shows--anything but talking. It was like they were catching up in silence, just letting each other get comfortable with the sudden change. Anne seemed a little shaken by the whole ordeal, the fact that her son was actually home.
"Do you guys... want me to show you your room?" Gemma asked, standing up and wiping her hands down her jeans.
Louis nodded. "Yes please Gems."
They went up the stairs, straight into Harry's room which had been untouched. All the mess was still there, all the revision papers that he had been studying hard for A Levels, all his clothes still scattered around the room. Harry was left reduced to tears again as he looked around his room, his lips trembling.
"Gemma," he whispered, "why didn't you clean this?"
"Mum didn't let me, idiot." She rolled her eyes. "She said it was like you're still home. Anyways, get ready for bed. Louis, can you come with me for a second?"
He nodded, leaving Harry with a swift kiss on the cheeks before leading out with Gemma. She took him in the spare bedroom, sitting down on the bed and frowning. "Thank you Lou," she finally stated, trying to smile but failing. She hadn't cried once since Harry had come home and now she looked like she could burst into tears at any second but she held it back. "Seriously, thank you for bringing him home. I don't know what went down between you, him and Dalton but all I know it lead to this point."
Louis flushed, nodding. He was glad to be able to bring a family together. "It's alright Gems. I've missed you, really."
She nodded too. "I missed you so. You made our days so much better. I can't believe you've made it, you know? So big, so many countries and God. It's overwhelming!"
"I can agree on that, definitely overwhelming."
"We'll catch up tomorrow, yeah?" she asked, smiling. "Go to my brother and bring that smile back, his 16 year old self."
**
When Louis returned back to the room, Harry was sitting on the bed looking quite confident with himself. He was fiddling with his phone that he had left here, trying to start it up. He had changed into a simple tshirt and boxers, looking healthier than ever and Louis felt a sense of pride come through him. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Harry from the back and humming.
"My beautiful, beautiful boy," he muttered to Harry, placing a kiss on his forehead, then hair and then his neck as he watched Harry squirm.
"I love you," Harry said.
Louis paused. "I want to know what happened between you and Dalton." He blurted out, a bit too quickly. The curiosity was getting to him now, he wanted to know details and every little bit. He wanted to be there for Harry and how could that happen if he didn't even know what had happened between them?
Harry froze, raising an eyebrow and looking confused. "What?"
"Tell me, tell me it all."
"No." He said simply, moving out of Louis's hold and throwing the phone in the corner of the room. He had never seemed angry, until now. "What the fuck? No."
"You started to tell me a bit, in bed. Just finish it off."
"I'm not ready, no!"
"I'm not-- what? I just want to know Harry, I want to be there for you."
Harry paused. "I can't be helped."
Louis raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Don't be stupid, of course you can. I'm here."
"No, you're not because you don't understand!"
Louis was dumbfounded, speechless and had no idea what to say. He had never intended to hurt Harry, he honestly just wanted to know more about his boyfriends struggle and get to know him better. The past few months had been difficult, but they promised to work through it together.
"Harry... I just-"
Harry cut him though, sending him a stern and rather scary look. "Fuck off, Lou. Go away!"
"I just want to help!"
"Go away!"
Louis had no idea what to say, what to do as he stood there feeling heartbroken. If he had any idea about what he was saying or doing, he wouldn't of dared to open his mouth. After all, Louis hadn't pushed him to say anything ever-- it was only now that he wanted to get to the bottom of it, get to know everything.
Instead, he moved smoothly towards the bed and grabbed a pillow and left the room to take the couch downstairs with a heavy heart.
**
"Louis, darling?" He was woken up by Anne's voice, standing over him and analysing him rather weirdly as he laid uncomfortably on the couch. It definitely wasn't one of the best beds he has had, and he wished he could be with Harry instead. He couldn't sleep well without him, needed his arms and his soft scent and the way he talked in his sleep.
Louis sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes as the memories of last night flooded back and he frowned instantly. He suddenly didn't feel like getting up or starting another day, without his love by his side. "Good morning Anne." He muttered.
Anne frowned too. "Dear, why are you sleeping here? Where's Harry?" She asked, sounding worried as he glanced around the empty living room.
"He... I, I decided to sleep on the couch and give him some space in his old bedroom."
Anne didn't look the slightest bit convinced but didn't push the subject, just nodding and smiling as he handed over a plate of food and settling down besides him. She switched on the TV, flicking to the news channel as Louis gratefully started eating. A part of him was urging to go upstairs, apologise to Harry but another part of him was telling him to stay put.
"I never liked Dalton." Anne broke the silence, randomly mentioning the same boys name that has ruined every single one of their lives. Dalton left such an impact that it was affected every single one of them. "Dalton seemed dodgy to me, from day one."
Louis gulped. He had disappeared as soon as he had heard of Harry and Dalton, not wanting to see the world and only popping down to his new management team for his new record deal. He sang out his pain, he broadcasted it to the whole world but he never dared approached Dalton and Harry.
"Really?" He was interested to know why.
"Yeah, there was something about him the day Harry brought him home. I had always thought there was something going on between you two so I was shocked when Dalton was brought into the picture. The fact that baffled me, made me sure something was wrong was the day Harry walked out and never returned. He came in after results day, packed his bags, informed me he was leaving for Dalton and never turned back."
Anne had tears in her eyes as she talked about it, like it was rough to even think about as she quickly drowned a cup of tea to stop herself from talking too soon and bursting into tears. Louis watched, not sure what to say-- only knew that he loved Harry.
"Louis, you disappeared too." She carried on. "You were my second son, I love you dearly and you ended up going off too! I was motherless, I was. Seeing you on TV made me so proud, my heart warmed each time and then your mums new house! It was amazing, the progress you made. Gemma missed you too."
He felt terrible for leaving Anne like that, for never turning back and trying to communicate with them. He generally avoided anything that reminded him of Harry, needing time to heal for himself and ended up distancing from the lady who needed him most.
"I'm sorry, it went all wrong. It'll never be like that again."
Just then, Harry walked into the living room looking rough. His eyes were red, his hair scruffy and messy and he was still wearing his PJs. He was smiling sadly, like he had listened to the whole conversation as he walked straight to Louis and hugged him tightly.
"I'm ready." He whispered to him.
Louis tensed up, knowing exactly what he meant and had no idea to react. Now that the moment was here, the truth of what had happened between him and Dalton-- Louis didn't want to know.
"Are you sure? We don't nee-"
"I'm ready." Harry repeated, looking more determined than ever as well as scared, fearful. It was evident he hadn't gotten much sleep last night. "Come to the garden with me."
Hand in hand, they walked to the shed in the garden which used to be their hangout. It was made like a leisure centre with a gym, snooker tables, TV, sofas, movies-- everything you could imagine and Louis used to love coming in here. He couldn't believe how long it had been, it was amazing.
They sat on the sofa together, cuddled up with their fingers intertwined as Harry took a deep breath. His head was tucked into Louis's chest, getting comfortable.
"The first time he hit me was when I messed up his house. I hadn't washed the dishes after our meal and accidentally spilled the sauce everywhere. He took great pride in his house, Lou." Harry sounded distant, like it was a painful memory to look back on and he was trying not to think too much about it "He liked everything to be perfect so when he saw the sauce everywhere, he punched me straight in the eye and told me to clean it. I was shocked, I hadn't expected it from my perfect boyfriend and I just listened to his orders."
Harry faced towards Louis, smiling sadly. "That day, I should've ran to you and never return back to Dalton. But, I stayed because I was a coward. I didn't go university, I had a small job and I couldn't afford a ticket back home. He got really jealous of me, real quick. He didn't like me talking to anyone, not even my own family! I remember one day I went out to meet Zayn, as a catch up and Dalton found out. He beat me until I couldn't walk, then fucked me until it hurt to sit down and then made me sleep on the floor."
Louis flinched, realising the story was getting deeper and more disturbing now. He clutched onto Harry's finger tighter, offering any type of support he could but right now, he was imagining the scenarios in his head-- and it hurt. Louis should've been there to help Harry, clean him up and help him escape from that hell but he didn't.
"I learnt really quickly I wasn't to have contact with anyone, he took my phone away from me-- I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone. I had to quit my job, I had to stay at home and soon, he became unhappy with my weight."
Harry paused, taking a second to recollect his breath as his voice went thick-- so close to tears but he was pushing them away. As much as Louis wanted to cry, he knew he had to be strong for Harry and he couldn't make this moment about himself. His heart was pounding loudly, his thoughts travelling thousand miles per hour but he stayed put. He listened.
"He said I was fat, I had hip chup and my stomach was chubby and he started to limit my eating. He made my charts of what I could eat, he made my exercise routine that I had to stick to and I wasn't allowed to fuck up. Once, I got hungry and saw a bagel I really wanted and he noticed, he did. Louis, he made me throw it up and started to choke me for disobeying him."
Now, Harry was crying with tears rolling down his cheeks and broken, small sobs escaping from his body. Louis reached over, wiping away the tears.
"It was horrible, anything I did led to me being hit, hurt in someway. Once, we went out for dinner and Liam was there-- and he was so shocked to see me after so long. He started to talk to me and Dalton smiled sweetly, joined in with the conversation. But, then he took me to the bathroom and fucked me raw as much as I denied it, said no. He raped me, right there, in the stupid restaurant toilets and I felt dirty, disgusting."
Louis didn't know what to think, what to say but he felt heartbroken and angry. Angry because he clearly hadn't hit Dalton hard enough, hadn't gotten him good and he wanted to return to that day he went to his apartment-- just to kill him.
"Stop, you don't need to-" Louis started.
Harry shook his head and continued. "It carried on like this, small things that made him hit me. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, at all and when you came back in the picture-- I needed you, I needed to see you. I love you, still after all that. So, the day we first met at the park I told him I had to go and get coffee and I made it home late. He kicked me right in the ribs, bruising them and made it hard for me to even walk."
Louis exhaled sharply. "If I know, I wouldn't of agreed to meet you like that."
"The other times I managed to meet you, he wasn't home and he was working so I had a chance to slip out. It was all good. When you came to our apartment, he fucked me and made me keep a butt plug in for days-- I don't even know I survived that. I tried to convince myself that I liked it, that I was enjoying it and I had desire for him. But in reality, I despised him.
"My eating disorder got worst, I started eating less and less, wanting to please him really. I lost weight constantly but still felt disgusting when Dalton undressed me, fucked me for his own needs and left me without letting me come. He had insane control over me, and I let it happen without question. I started self harm, to escape and he liked it. He must be a psycho, he loved seeing the scars and somehow ended up encouraging it. One day, I swore by accident and he broke a bottle of alcohol and cut me straight across my stomach."
That made Louis's stomach chern, made him sick to the stomach as he stiffened up. It was awful to think about and Louis really needed to throw up.
"The day we got caught by paparazzi, Louis, it was horrible."
Louis's throat thickened. "What happen?" He choked out.
Harry's eyes went dark. "He smashed my face against the kitchen counter, continuously, choking me and spitting on me. He held me by the hair, threw me towards the wall and stood over me-- with his devil look in his eyes. He had figured out where I had been going whilst he was at work and he beat me. I don't know how, how long but he just stood there, hitting me until it became hard to breathe and my vision went dark. I blacked out, woke up on the floor and he wasn't home. He didn't come back for a hours and I was in pain, every part of my body ached."
"Shit." Louis managed to whisper.
"He came back with food, told me to eat up and then fuck off. He was disgusted to even look at my face. When I did go out after, to run his errands, and I saw you-- I was so fucking afraid because I was in pain. I was in so much pain."
"I'm so sorry."
"Don't be, it's not your fault. It's Dalton's, he ruined me and made me incapable of love."
Louis shook his head, not being able to control the tears that had managed to escape from his eyes as he hugged Harry tightly. He never wanted to let go of the fragile, beautiful boy right in front of him-- he loved him way too much.
"I'm so sorry." He repeated anyway, not knowing what else to say right now. "I wish I was there, I wish."
"You were, and you are."
"I love you so fucking much Harry, so much." Louis kissed his curls, his forehead, his cheeks and his lips, softly and gently and making the younger boy believe each word. "I'm never going to let you go, never."
"I love you too. Please, don't let me go."
"Never."
"Let's head back to my mum now?" Harry suggested, smiling sideways. He looked like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders though his eyes had gone significantly more red from crying. "We can leave all the bad memories here."
Louis nodded. "My beautiful boy."
And hand in hand, they headed back to the house.
**
IT'S FINISHED GUYS.
This has to be the first novel I've actually put my mind to and finished. I loved writing this, I loved the plot, everything about it! It's something I feel really strongly about as well, if you've ever read any of my previous work on other accounts-- you know abuse is a very popular topic amongst my stories/fics. I feel like there should be more awareness on domestic violence, child abuse because there simply isn't enough and it's horrible :(
Anyways, there is one more chapter left which is the epilogue and then this story is done! There won't be a sequel, I think it ends on a good note and there simply isn't a need for another story to be carried on. However, I'm thinking of a ziam spin off.
There's a lot of things I failed to bring into this fic that I wish I had such as: more ziam! Because, come on? Who doesn't love ziam? Also, more alcohol and drugs on Louis side and more interactions with Eleanor and management. I will be editing over this in a few months time when I feel more inspiration for it, the need to edit and hopefully I polish it off and add these things in.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it because I definitely did :)