𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚎'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠
𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚊𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚏𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚑, 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚘𝚗𝚎
𝚃𝚆 || 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚙 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 "•" 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚡𝚘𝚡𝚘 𝚜𝚢𝚍
It's been two days since dad called off his wedding with Meredith. We haven't heard from her, or Carmen, and dad hasn't left the house since. "When do you think he'll get it together? It's been two days, and she was a rebound!" Summer asked, glancing over at my door.
There was a huge thunderstorm coming, so I'd invited Summer over to watch horror movies all day- there wasn't much else we could do. I watched a bolt of lightning strike out the window before I shrugged, "I don't know. He really seemed to care about her, all the way until the end."
It was true, for some odd, unfathomable reason, my father cared for Meredith Brantem and her horrible daughter. He wanted them in his life and he had been willing to sacrifice so much for it. Money for the unnecessarily extravagant wedding Meredith had wanted, his relationship with his biological children, and his compassion.
Because deep down, I knew that this had started out as a way to get back at me and my mom. Though it seemed to have blossomed into something more, it didn't start that way.
Summer rolled her eyes, she disliked them just as much as I did. "Anyway, so I was thinking that today we could-" but she didn't get to finish her sentence as she was cut off by a yell. "What was that?" I shrugged and we both listened, waiting to hear if it would happen again.
"Annalise!" It was my dad. "Can you come down here?" He yells again.
I furrowed my brows, couldn't it wait until later when Summer wasn't here? "Why-" I didn't get to finish my sentence as he again, interrupted me. I've noticed over the years that he has a tendency to do that when he's upset with you, he's angry and he has too much to say, he won't stop and take a breath.
I could hear the agitation in his voice as he yelled once again, "Just get down here, now!"
I felt guilty leaving her, but I didn't want my dad to explode. So I sighed and popped my head in, "I'm sorry, just hold on a second." I mentally cringed as I made my way downstairs, trying to prepare myself for whatever was to come.
I didn't know what to expect, I've never seen my dad in this kind of state. I had left with my mother two years ago, unknowingly leaving Aiden to deal with this mess. "Annalise Marie!" I heard him yell again.
I groaned quietly, "Coming dad!" I called back, reaching the bottom of the stairs. I could see him sitting on the couch, a beer in his hand. "Yes?" I walked closer, and as I did more and more cans came into view. They were stacked around him, it was like he hadn't left the couch for days.
He didn't even turn to look at me, "Why is it that every time I call you downstairs you have some sort of attitude? It's like you take it everywhere with you like a purse."
I took a deep breath. Stand your ground, Annalise, but don't cause a fight. I reminded myself, I don't want another situation like last time. "I don't know dad, I guess we're a package deal," I responded to his mean-spirited comment. "What do you need?" I finally asked, a little more annoyance was evident in my tone than planned.
I regretted it immediately, though I was annoyed.
Something about this slight inconvenience gave me deja vu towards our last fight, something I never wanted to relive. We had fought over respect and mom for the most part. I remember his exact words, he'd said 'Well, I don't love that good-for-nothing bitch. I hope she's living it up in Australia because if she ever comes back here, I'll kill her.'
I shook the thought out of my head, I didn't want to be reminded just how brutal my father had become. What had happened to the kind, loving man who had put bandaids on my cuts and kissed my bruises away? Where did that man go?
"What do I need?" He turned to me, anger flaring in his eyes. "See, this is exactly what I mean! Why can't you just respect me like a daughter should?" Here we go with the yelling, he's still on the whole concept of respect. Something of which he gets little from me, he doesn't deserve it.
Not after what he's done and said.
I rub my temple, "I'm sorry, you're right." I grit out. If I could just calm him down, everything would be alright. At least that's what I told myself, but the deja vu was telling me something entirely different. Something along the lines of 'screaming match.'
"Annalise, I want you to lose the attitude." He turns back to the tv, staring intently at the program. It looked to be some show from the sixties, one I didn't recognize.
I couldn't help but scowl at the back of his head, "Fine," I took a deep breath, trying to sound softer. "What do you need?" I can see the reflection of him on the tv screen as he smiles, clearly more satisfied with me now.
He nods, "Much better! See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?" When I didn't respond he paused the program and headed towards the kitchen, presumably to grab another beer. "I need you to install a drain in the yard."
I gape at him, "Are you serious?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" When I looked closer at his face I could see the stubble on his lip and chin, as well as the dark bags under his eyes. When he's tired, he's mean- and I knew better than to fan the flames when he's like this.
"I have Summer over right now, but when she leaves I can call the-"
He interrupted again, "-No, I mean that you have to install the drain." He pointed directly at me with emphasis.
"You want me to install a drain in the yard? Where? Why?" I have no idea how to install a drain! This would be so much easier- and not to mention cheaper- if we called a professional to come and help us with it.
He popped the tab, "The giant ice swan melted and now we have too much standing water," I cursed the giant swan.
I crossed my arms over my chest, "Why didn't you ask Aiden? He's way better suited for this than I am. Besides, he's lived here longer and most certainly knows the yard better." When mom and I still lived here, the garden was hers. Nobody touched it but mom.
He slumped back down onto the couch, "Aiden's probably sleeping, you can do it." He took a long glug, "And for future reference: don't question me, just do what I ask." He spit out the words rather aggressively.
Throughout this conversation, I was noticing red flag after red flag. How is it that I'm constantly bullied by my own father? Two days ago he promised that he wouldn't be mad, he promised that he wouldn't take it out on me! Yet here we are anyway.
I pushed my hair behind my ears, "Why me?" I asked quietly, though I already knew the answer. "How did you know I wasn't sleeping? What made you think that I could do it when Aiden couldn't?" I glared at the back of his head.
He stood up quickly, too quickly. I gulped nervously, taking a step away from him. "I didn't, Annalise. Don't talk to me with that tone!" He yelled loudly.
Again with the yelling!
That set me off, I am my father's child after all. The lawyer who wouldn't back down, but the remix. "Do you hear yourself when you talk?" I felt the anxiety in my stomach as I said that, almost regretting it. "Why should you get to yell at me, but I'm not allowed to defend myself!"
He stared straight into my soul, "What did you just fucking say?"
I gulped, taking another step back. I had to hold my ground or we would never make any progress, "I said what I said." I crossed my arms over my chest, squeezing them tightly.
He took a step closer, "Because I am your father, and I am the adult! You will respect me," he sounded so sure. So confident in himself and his abilities... it was unnerving.
"How can I respect you when you treat me this way?" I whispered, "I care about you dad, a lot. I dropped that bomb on you out of love, thinking that I was doing the right thing. And though it saved me from an evil stepmother and a wicked stepsister, it cost me what little was left of my relationship with my father!" I screamed, the intensity of my voice rising.
He looked like he wanted to rip his hair out, "What little was left? Annalise, our relationship crumbled the second you left to go live with your mother, there was nothing left."
I nodded, tears building in my ducts. "I knew it. That's what this is about, that's all it's ever been about. You still can't get over the fact that I chose mom over you. I was a child, dad, I needed my mother. And if I had to do it all over again, I'd make the same goddamn decision."
I meant every word.
I was in horrible pain. My mother is dead, my father basically hates me, yet I wouldn't change any choice I had made.
He didn't say anything, he honestly looked shocked. "Even if I had stayed here with you, it just would have meant that Aiden went with mom. Would you have treated him like this? Doubtful." But I wasn't done yet, "No, instead you would find some other reason to blame it on me." I spit the words harshly as if they were acid in my mouth.
That's when it hit me. No matter what I do, I will always be his scapegoat when he's angry. Today it's about the wedding- that much was blatantly true- but last time it was Aunt Fiona. It will always be this neverending cycle unless I become a wrench in the gears.
I took a deep breath, I think it's time. "I'm sorry that mom left you, but I had nothing to do with it. She left all on her own, and she had her reasons," he looked like he was going to speak, so I raised my voice. "You hear that dad? She had a reason for leaving, she had a reason for taking me, and she had a reason for not being here right now." The tears that had been building, fell.
He stood up, I could see him grinding his teeth. "Well, enlighten me, Annalise! Because as far as I know all your mother ever did was birth you two, pack up, and leave! Good for nothing, lowlife, deadbeat mother! Where is the bitch now? What is her bullshit reason for not being here, huh?" He seethed right in my face.
His words held a lifetime's worth of anger and regret, he spoke as if he didn't even care for her anymore. Which I knew was a complete lie, she was the love of his life, his soulmate.
The tears streamed down my face, "Dead! She's dead, dad!" When I said that the anger washed away, immediately replaced with overwhelming sadness. I continued to sob uncontrollably. I watched as his face paled and all anger seemed to fade away. He seemed to have completely forgotten about Meredith, all his attention was on his ex-wife, my mother, Jane.
"...What?" He asked breathlessly.
I sniffled loudly, "Yeah, she's dead. Then I come back here and this is what I get. So I'm sorry, dad. I am so unbelievably sorry that you have to deal with me. The fuck up, the disaster child. You'd probably be so much better off without me."
I knew that my dad would be happier with me gone, I was a living, breathing reminder that my mother left him- and now that she was dead. I was afraid that I had only made things much, much worse rather than better.
I watched as his facial expression changed, as he realized what I had said. I didn't want to feel his wrath, so I took off running. I don't have a tendency to run from my problems, I guess it's just this particular one.
I could hear the thunder and feel the rain on my skin as I ran. Though I didn't know where I was going, I could barely see through the tears. I felt delirious as I ran, my brain wouldn't work, but my legs did just fine.
Pretty soon the rain started to get harder and I couldn't see through that either. I made sure to get on the sidewalk, avoiding cars on the road. I slowed to a walk, just letting the tears mix with the rain.
I rubbed my hands up and down my arms as I tried to scare away the chill. All this rain was making it colder outside, and with the weather already so wacky this time of year I already wanted to put on a jacket.
I didn't know where to go, thankfully, my legs solved that problem. And I soon found myself walking down a stone path, it seemed oddly familiar. I watched intently as the lake that Zach took me to came into view. We had our first kiss here, our first moment. I hadn't been back since th day he'd shown it to me, but it felt like the route was second nature.
I already felt better just being here, in a place I had connected to a good memory.
I sat down under the huge weeping willow tree by the pier, and that's when I finally started to calm down. The anxiety washed over me and drained quickly. Although I was freezing, just being here felt like the universe was giving me a warm hug.
You definitely need it, it would say.
I heard the rain spattering and the crack of the thunder as the lightning struck. All of it blended together to play a lullaby, practically rocking me to sleep. I was beyond exhausted, with all of the running, screaming, and crying I felt like I had been hit by a bus.
Reluctantly, I laid down, curling up into a ball to keep warm.
I started to calm once again, and this is when I let my mind wander. I hope that Summer is okay, I left her at the house. My breathing evened out as I started to doze off, but then all of a sudden everything went black and I found myself in a dreamless sleep.
•
I stirred as I felt a few drops of water land on my face. I wiped it off and rolled over, hoping to get back to that glorious sleep.
But then another one and another one hit me and I shot up. Where am I? I looked around, recognizing it as the lake. The only difference was that it was dark now, how long have I been here?
My eyes widened and I cursed aloud, I shouldn't have let myself fall asleep. I've been gone all day, what will Summer think? What will Aiden think? Though I wasn't even a hundred percent sure that he had been home at all.
I climbed to my feet, feeling them out. I had definitely slept for an alarmingly long amount of time. I fumbled around in the dark, trying to find my way back to the path.
If only I had brought my phone.
It took me a while, but I finally found the path and started towards civilizations. I knew that I was still close to home because the drive here only takes two minutes, meaning that it's only a five or ten-minute walk. I would be home soon, though I wasn't jumping for joy about it.
I continued my trek down the sidewalk. I felt better having spent some time in a place I felt safe, it was saddening as I realized that I didn't feel like that in my own home.
I didn't want to go home, but I knew that I needed to. I trudged along, trying to find any excuse to enlong it. There's a cat stuck in a tree?.. I've got it! But much to my dismay, I had no such luck.
I recognized the street when I turned onto it, I was almost home.
I saw my house come into view, I didn't want to face him. My father. But honestly, I didn't want to face anyone at all. I just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend none of it had ever happened. But I knew that that wasn't an option.
I took a few deep breaths, trying to prepare myself before I pushed open the front door, quietly entering inside.
I might have shut it a little too loudly because the second I did I heard loud, thunderous footsteps. Then I saw my brother, followed by Zach, Ryan, Summer, and Daphne. What are they?.. Zach rushed down the stairs, engulfing me in his arms and pulling me into his chest tightly.
I felt his chest rising and falling rapidly as I was flushed against it, "God, I was so worried." He mumbled into my neck as he held me tighter. "Not knowing where you were like that, freaked me out on another level."
I frowned, "I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean to worry you guys." It might sound selfish, but when I ran I was thinking of me and my problems, not who I left at the house. But maybe I should have, this did kind of affect them too.
Both girls rushed down as well, pulling me from Zach's grip. "Lise, you bitch! Don't ever do that again!" I laughed as they hugged me tightly, the gesture was heartwarming.
I met Aiden's eyes. He looked relieved, though there was sadness in them. I was afraid to ask.
"Well, no worries, because I'm back." Again.
𝙷𝚘𝚠'𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝??
𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝙻𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢, 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚞𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢!
𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛, 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚕. 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚎𝚕. 𝙸𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝚆𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎- 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜. 𝙼𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚜 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚛. 𝚂𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎. 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?
𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚛, 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢, 𝚒𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛!! 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚘, 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 :) 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 (𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚕) 𝚡𝚘𝚡𝚘 𝚜𝚢𝚍