“I gave my best it wasn’t enough…” – Usher x Climax
Once Chris dropped off Shayne and Calvin he swung over to Sandra’s house with no hesitation. When he got to her house she didn’t even step aside to let him through, instead she stood in the doorway waiting for him to talk.
“You gon’ let me in or what?” He sighed.
She rolled her eyes and let him walk in. When he got in the house he searched for Harmony just so he won’t say something her ears aren’t suppose to hear. After realizing she wasn’t downstairs he started his rant.
“Are you fucking crazy?” He nearly shouted. “Walking around a fucking club naked like you ain’t got no fuckin’ sense. You must not know the problems that working there causes and it’s most definitely problems you’re not built for”
Sandra stood in the doorway of the leaving room leaning against the frame looking casual which only made Chris madder. She had her arms crossed over her chest and occasionally looked at her nails like she didn’t care to hear him speak the truth.
He couldn’t understand how someone like her could make a stupid decision as to work in a strip club practically begging for money by taking her clothes off. He thought it was low of her and she should have more self respect than that.
“You gon’ talk or continue to look stupid?” He asked.
“I’m waitin’ for you to be done” She replied. “I’ve heard this all before”
“Yeah, well you ain’t hear it from the father of your child!” He retorted. “You don’t need to be doin’ this shit Sandra”
“You’re actin’ like I enjoy this shit, I do it so that I can provide for my child” She pointed upstairs.
“That’s why I’m here” He said through gritted teeth.
He understood that he hasn’t been here for the past five years but now that he is she doesn’t have to stoop so low as to strip for money.
“You’re absolutely correct, but who’s gonna provide for me?” She titled her head to the side waiting for an answer. “Not you, that’s for sure!”
“If I have to I will” He responded.
She quickly shook her head and walked pass him and went to the kitchen. He followed right behind her not done with the conversation.
“What now?” He questioned as she started to clean up the kitchen.
“Chris you’re not my man, the last thing ima have you do is take care of me too” She shook her head.
Now that he also sees that her pride is in the way it was gonna be harder to get this through her head than what he thought. He was just so sure that Sandra was the type of girl to jump quickly once he said he’ll take care of her but he was completely wrong. She’s a very independent person and for that he commends her. But the way she’s going about being independent is wrong, she needs to find a safer job and consider everyone around her.
Chris ran his hands down his face. “Sandra, I’m willing to do whatever it is to make you change your mind about this”
“You just don’t fucking get it do you?” She yelled while turning around. “This is not a fucking option Chris it’s really not! I can’t get another job, because I never graduated from High School because I was taking care of your child!”
“If that’s the case then how come you didn’t tell me about her back then? I could’ve helped you through whatever” He walked closer to her as she stood in front of the sink.
“Because I was so sure that out of the both of us that you would’ve been the one to do something with your life and I didn’t wanna mess that up for you! I didn’t want Harmony to become a burden to your dreams” She lowered her head.
Chris and Sandra made Harmony when they were just in the tenth grade, while Chris still had his head on his shoulders. He, Shayne, and Jr.Bird were popular for basketball and everyone just knew they would go to college and branch out with their talent. Instead they threw it away by getting down with the drugs.
“That wouldn’t have happened” He looked down at her.
She quickly protested by shaking her head. “It would have, you were only sixteen. The last thing you wanted to do was take care of a child that I’m sure you would’ve thought wasn’t yours”
Chris couldn’t objection against what she said because he knows that his sixteen year old mind worked differently than now and that would’ve happened.
“Maybe that would’ve happened” He placed his thumb under chin making her look up at him. “But as the years would’ve went by I’m sure I would’ve came to my senses”
“Well what’s done is done. We can’t keep talking about what we would’ve done, we just need to focus on what we can do now” She sighed. “I honestly doubt I’ll stop working at the club, so you’re gonna have to either deal with it or deal with it”
Chris removed his hand from her chin and shook his head. Even after telling her that he can do for her she still has her pride in the way.
“Sandra, I promise I got you” He said just above a whisper.
“No Chris, you got two kids and a girlfriend. Those are your number one priorities” She replied in the same tone. “Don’t worry about me, okay? I know what I’m doin’, I’ve been doin’ it for four years now”
“I’m just never gonna get through to you huh?” He chuckled. “I respect that though, but ima change ya’ mind one way or another”
She smiled and turned back around to the sink finishing what she was doing. The only thing Chris could think about was how he was gonna change her mind. It wasn’t gonna be easy but he honestly needed to think of a way for her to let her guard down and basically trust him.
Sandra turned her head swinging her auburn hair while doing so. “You’re still here?”
Chris chuckled. “A’ight, I’m out”
They said their goodbyes and Chris was out the door and on his way to his house. When he walked in the door of his house it was silent like it should be. He jogged up the steps but when he opened the door to the master bedroom he saw Rasia sprawled out on his bed fast asleep. Now that Rasia has a key to his house she’s here whenever he’s not and always shows up least expected.
He walked over to the bathroom and took a quick shower to ease his tense body. When he got out he opened the door to the bathroom to see Rasia sitting up on her phone no longer asleep. It nearly scared Chris and he had to do a double take.
“Why you look like that?” Rasia asked.
“Cause I thought yo ass was sleep” He walked over to the bed with a towel wrapped around his bottom half. “You can’t be doin’ that shit man”
“I’m sorry” She pouted placing her phone on the charger. She positioned herself behind Chris so that she was massaging his shoulders. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” She whispered.
“I was busy” He closed his eyes enjoying the shoulder massage he was in dying need of. “You knew that”
“And you know anything could be happening, Chris” She sighed. “What if it was important” She stopped and looked at him.
He kissed his teeth. “Let’s not start this shit today a’ight?”
The last thing he wants to do at the end of the day is argue with her and stress more than what he has to. He would like to enjoy the peaceful night.
“Okay” She surrendered and went back to massaging his shoulders. “But I really needed to talk to you…” She trailed off.
“About what?”
“Well Aniya came over and she… She was telling me about how Shayne thinks she’s—“
“Naw, ion’t wanna hear about this shit” He cut her off. “What I tell you about bein’ in they business”
“I know, but –“
“But nothin’ Rasia” He interrupted her again. “Just stop worryin’ about them and focus on us”
Rasia tried to speak again but Chris quickly gave her a deadly glare daring her to go on. He wasn’t a fan of gossip and evidently didn’t wanna hear it. But mainly because he doesn’t want the same event that happened a couple months ago to happen again.
Rasia sighed and stopped massaging his shoulders once again. “Chris you’ve changed” She blurted.
He turned his head and looked at her confused. “Whatchu mean?”
She removed herself from behind him and sat next to him. “I mean you’re not the same anymore. This is not the Chris that I knew two years ago”
He shook his head and chuckled. “You trippin’”
“No, I’m not, I’m serious. You’re not the same Chris that always used to make me laugh and joke around all the time” She stopped and looked like she was thinking. “You’re now the Chris that always has this mean mug on his face and is always mad at me”
“I ain’t always mad at you” He corrected.
He did seem a lot different but a lot has changed over the course of two years and it changed drastically. His life used to be simple with no responsibilities now he has to take care of everyone. He doesn’t mind it but it is starting to take a toll on his attitude.
“Yes you are! It’s the slightest things that you and I used to laugh about” She smiled. “I miss those days, what happened?”
“You happened” He yelled. “Rico, Harmony, and Sandra happened! All this shit hit me like a big a garbage truck and now I gotta deal wit’ so much shit at once. And then I got you always fuckin’ complainin’ about something new”
He didn’t mean to blow up on her like that but she was asking for it. He knew she wasn’t trying to pick a fight but it seems like that’s what she’s good at these days around. It’s been weighing on his mind for quit some time now and it feels good to let it out. But this was only the start of most of his problems.
He looked over at Rasia as she didn’t say a word and instead looked down at her fingers. He stood up and walked into his closet throwing on a pair of Tommy Hilfiger boxers and sweatpants over them. He walked out the closet to see Rasia putting her cell phone in her purse and getting herself ready to leave.
“Why you leavin’?” He questioned.
She completely ignored his question and continued on what she was doing. When she was done he followed her out the bedroom and into Rico’s room where she got him and walked down the stairs.
“Why you gotta be so fuckin’ petty for?” He shook his head making her stop at the door.
“I’m not bein’ petty Chris” She turned around. “You make me feel like I’m a burden to your life, so maybe I should remove myself”
He chuckled and walked over to the door and opened it for her. “Bye, I ain’t got this shit to do”
She shook her head and walked over to the door stopping mid-way and looked up at him. “Don’t ask me to come back… This is it since this is how you really feel” She said on the verge of tears.
“I won’t” He responded nonchalantly.
Once she walked out the door he slammed it hard on purpose and locked it. He thought it was crazy how the argument went from nothing to something in a matter of five minutes. He didn’t understand her thoughts and knew that she would be back sooner or later.
Or maybe this was the end…
<>
Tavi layed on her couch the next morning with a headache out of this world. Her head was pounding so hard she could hear it through her ears, and Addison’s screaming only made it worse.
She sighed and looked over at Addison as she sung and danced with Dora. “Little girl, could you use your inside voice?” She asked her as if she knew what she was talking about.
Tavi closed her eyes so that she could rest them being that she had a headache and having them open with the sunlight made it worse. She took a few pills and even threw on her glasses to stop the pounding but nothing seemed to work.
After laying on the couch for about another ten minutes she heard a knock at the door and dreaded getting up to get it. Once she picked her body up she walked to the door opening it to see Shayne looking like how he always did. No matter how much on good terms they were he always had this cold expression on his face.
“Hey” She groaned letting him walk in.
“Why she so loud for?” He asked forgetting to greet her like always.
She grabbed onto his arm before he could walk into the living room. “What did I say about walking in here like you own the place?”
“Oh you remember last night” He smiled.
She nodded feeling a little embarrassed at her drunken words. “Yeah”
He bent down at kissed her lips and looked at her. “How’s that?”
She couldn’t help the shy smile that came to her lips. “I like that one”
He nodded and walked into the living room immediately picking Addison up. “Why you so loud?” He asked showing her tough love.
Tavi plopped back down on the couch and placed her hand on her forehead for comfort. She closed her eyes and then felt Shayne pick her legs up and sit down placing them back on his lap.
“What’s wrong wit’ you?” He asked.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Whatchu think? I got a fuckin’ hang over”
“Awe, shit that hang over gettin’ you tough” He chuckled. “Tavi I’ll beat yo’ ass don’t get this shit confused”
She smacked her lips and smiled. “Whatever Shayne”
“And since when did you wear glasses?” He questioned. “Cause you lookin’ real nice wit’ them” He ran his hands up her legs.
She swatted his hands away. “They’re my reading glasses”
He nodded and looked over at Addison as she made her way towards them. “You gon’ deal wit’ her yellin’ all day?”
Tavi quickly shook her head. “Hell no, that’s why Sandra is on her way to come and pick her up”
“Oh word? You know she a stripper” He laughed.
Tavi nodded. “Yeah, I know she told me”
She was a little taken back when Sandra said she was a dancer, but she understands that she has to do what she has to do. Personally Tavi would never strip but she knows not to judge on other people’s decisions.
“If I ever catch yo ass strippin’ I’ll Ocho Cinco the fuck out of you” He shook his head.
“Why do you gotta be so violent? This is your second time threatening me today and you just got here” She questioned.
He shrugged his shoulders and gave her a sheepish smile. “I like fuckin’ witchu, but I will do it Tavi I’m not playin’. The last thing I want is you strippin’” He said with all seriousness.
She waved her hands. “You know I’m better than that”
“Mhm” He hummed running his fingers up her thighs. “The only person you should be strippin’ for is me anyways”
She looked at him with pleading eyes but knew he wasn’t gonna go too far being that Addison was still in the living room. Tavi’s cell phone started ringing and she reached for it on the coffee table.
“Hello” She answered without looking at the caller ID
“I’m downstairs, you can bring her now” Sandra said through the other end of the phone.
“Okay” Tavi replied hanging up the phone. She looked over at Shayne as he typed away on his phone. “Can you take Addison downstairs to Sandra for me?”
“Why can’t ya’ lazy ass do it?” He asked without even looking up.
She smacked her lips and stood up having to stand in the same spot for a second because she stood up too fast and became dizzy. Once she was okay she walked over to Addison picking her up and grabbing her baby bag. She walked out the condo and went downstairs to see Sandra and Harmony waiting in the almost empty lobby.
“Hey” She smiled at them as Addison squirmed out her arms to go to Harmony.
“Hey” Sandra replied. “Were you sleeping?”
“No, I was up there with Shayne” She shook her head.
“Oh okay, well lemme tell you what happened yesterday” She laughed. “Chris caught me at the club and damn near chased me out the door”
Tavi looked shocked and waited for her to continue.
“And then he showed up at my house tryna tell me that I need to leave the club” She sighed.
“Well are you?” Tavi asked.
Sandra took a deep breath. “I don’t know, I don’t have a plan B if I do”
“If you do my job is hiring, I can put in a good word for you” She informed.
Tavi always wanted to help someone out, especially someone like Sandra who always watched Addison when she needed her. It was only right that she helped her out with her mini crisis.
“If you can do that, I’ll love you forever” Sandra cheesed.
“I’ll send you the application cause it’s an online one” Tavi laughed. “But take care of my baby”
They hugged and parted going their separate ways. When Tavi got into her condo Shayne was still in the same spot doing the same thing. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to him peeping over his shoulder trying to see what he was doing.
“Why you gotta be so nosy?” He questioned.
She smacked her lips and folded her arms pouting dramatically. Shayne wasn’t giving her the attention that she wanted at the moment so she was becoming bored by the second.
“Make yourself useful and go make me some breakfast” He smiled.
Tavi rolled her eyes and stood up. “This nigga got me fucked up” She mumbled under her breath.
She walked into her room and grabbed her laptop off her nightstand so that she could email Sandra the application just so she won’t forget later on. In the mist of her emailing Sandra, Shayne appeared in the doorway and then walked over to her.
“Whatchu doin’?” He asked standing in front of her.
“Something your not” She answered while typing away.
She clicked ‘send’ and on cue Shayne took her macbook from out her lap and closed it placing it back on the nightstand.
“Didn’t I say make me breakfast” He pushed her down on the bed and hovered over her.
“I’m tired Shayne” She whined not wanting to do anything at the moment including having sex.
“How? You ain’t did shit all day” He shook his head.
“Taking care of Addison is a very hard job” She explained. “My mom dropped her off early this morning and she was wide awake so I couldn’t go back to sleep”
“And that’s my problem because…?” He laughed.
Tavi rolled her eyes and pushed Shayne from above her and sat up. “Fuck you”
Shayne was about to let something nasty come out his mouth but was stopped when his phone started to ring in his pocket. He looked at the phone and stepped outside Tavi’s room to answer it.
Tavi tried to listen to his conversation but his voice was too hushed so she couldn’t hear him. She stripped out of her clothes and layed on her bed wanting to finally rest her mind and eyes. She layed there for a good five minutes and then felt Shayne’s body press up against hers.
He wrapped his arms around her body and placed his face in the crook of her neck kissing her. She didn’t bother to open her eyes; instead she wanted to fall asleep to the feeling.
“Guess what?” He mumbled up against her neck sending chills through her body.
“What?” She whispered.
“Aniya’s pregnant” He said lowly.
Tavi shot her eyes open and turned her head so that she was looking him in the face. She didn’t think she heard him right because he was talking low.
“What?” She asked out of disbelief.
“Aniya’s pregnant” He repeated as if none of this bothered him.
Tavi has learned a long time ago that Shayne is a very nonchalant kind of person. He doesn’t let anything get to him and when it does he doesn’t show it. Tavi envy’s his character trait wishing she could be the same way with everything.
“Shayne, that’s not funny” She rolled her eyes thinking it was a joke to make her mad.
“It’s not a joke though” He laughed. “She’s really pregnant”
All Tavi could do was look at him and how he didn’t seem so fazed by it. She couldn’t believe her ears and oddly a sadden feeling came to her body. In Tavi’s mind she always thought she wouldn’t care but now that it’s really happening it’s the complete opposite.
“How do you know?” She asked trying to blink back the tears.
“I been knew, but she just told me over the phone” He closed his eyes and rested his head on a pillow.
“H-how did this ha-happen?” She stuttered.
“Fuck you mean?” He chuckled. “I fucked her right in the pussy”
Tavi didn’t at all laugh at Shayne’s joke; it only made her cringe thinking about him and Aniya in relations. She knew they had to be doing it but never in her life wanted to think about it. Now they’re about to become parents which in her case is worse then thinking about them two having sex.
She layed her head down on a pillow and looked up towards the ceiling. Letting everything process in her mind a tears slipped out her eyes and landed on the pillow. She didn’t understand her emotions for the situation and didn’t like it at all. She looked over at Shayne as he looked almost asleep.
“Shayne” She whispered.
“Mmh” He hummed.
“What are you gonna do?” She asked.
“Ima do this better than what I did the first time” He said referring to their situation.
Tavi was feeling a certain way by his response and it only made the tears come more. She pushed them back not letting them slip through her eyes.
“What do you mean?” She crooked. “Are you gonna marry her or something?”
He shrugged his shoulders and continued to keep his eyes closed. “Ion’t know what ima do a’ight? But I know ima play this smart”
The fact that he didn’t say no to her question of him marrying Aniya she knew he was probably considering it. Although he didn’t wanna say it out loud there was a small part of him that was thinking it.
“Does this change anything between us?” She questioned once again.
The way Shayne sighed she knew he was getting tired of her constant questions. He finally opened his eyes and looked at her. “Probably… in the long run all this shit will have to stop”
Tavi closed her eyes and felt defeated by his words. She knew it would have to stop as well but didn’t wanna think about it. The way he was talking also made her jealous that he could do all these things with Aniya and not her. It was as if everything was happening all over again with him doing things with someone else instead of her.
She knew he couldn’t use that same lame excuse of him ‘loving her’ that’s why he doesn’t wanna hurt her because frankly this hurts worse then anything. Being the second choice is not what she wants from him. The fact that they would soon start sleeping with each other made her realize that either way she was gonna be the second choice or the sideline. It just makes her feel like she’s not good enough for first place. Not in Shayne’s life and also not in Rashad’s life either.
Rashad and Shayne both have something they choose before her whether it’s a sport or another woman they still make her the second option. Maybe she’ll always come in second place no matter the person or the situation. She’s just not good enough.
Not really feeling this chapter... but i had to upload something
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