Eyes more wonderful than evening.
With the new moon on the hill,
Mouth with traces of God's humor
In its corners lurking still.
Bliss William Carman
It feels as if things are moving in slow motion as I stare helplessly in horror at the large German Shepard that leaps towards me,
I've never been a dog person. Within good reason too. They're just too big, too hairy, too aggressive, too toothy, too- Just too much.
I've always preferred cats, you never read a newspaper headline about someone getting attacked by their neighbour's tabby.
I lift my arms in a protective stance to shield my face, which is I see now is no use as the dog hurls its heavy body onto mine, knocking me down onto the ground and panting heavily in my face.
I start to think about all the bad I've done in my very short, very unremarkable life. I cheated on a math test in 9th grade, I catfished my crush on Club Penguin when I was 10... well he didn't reply, and I deleted the account minutes after creating it, but still it was pretty shitty of me. I even once literally took candy from a baby. But I'm not a terrible person, I definitely don't deserve to get mauled to death by a rabid dog.
As its snout descends closer to my face I wonder if it's going to rip off my face or lick it. Neither sound very pleasant, so I try negotiating to whoever's listening at this point
Dear God, or whoever has the power to listen in on my thoughts right now, if you can somehow stop this dog from tearing into my neck I will try to be a better person, I'll give more to charity, Ill even stop swearing so much. Just please please don't-
My thoughts are interrupted by two male voices calling out for somebody called ''Cody." The dog seems to have heard it too, I watch in relief as his head perks up and he disengages himself from my body and begins trotting off, probably in search of the voices.
Holy fuck, it worked.
I prop myself up into a sitting position and stare at the dog's retreating form.
Then two familiar russet skinned boys appear from the same direction the dog is trotting, looking very flustered and very shirtless. And very, very ripped.
The dog jumps onto one of the boys, who catches in his arms with ease.
I see them looking around the field, the equally ripped boy on the left nudging his friend and pointing in my general direction when he spots me laying on the ground.
Amiyah!" The boy shouts and jogs towards me with a large grin on his face.
Hold up, do I know muscle man?
As he gets closure I recognise the boy as Paul. Paul, who's hair has been cropped even shorter and who looks to have gained biceps that could crush a watermelon.
So, I suppose he's a shifter now.
"Amiyah?" Paul says once he's reached me, I'm struggling to get myself up, so he lends me hand and effortlessly pulls me up.
"Heyy Paul." I say awkwardly.
.
"What are you doing La Push?" He asks curiously.
"I live here." I say unequivocally.
"No shit." He huffs out, surprise evident on his face.
"Yeah, I actually just moved." I say, shuffling around on my feet.
"I haven't seen you around in lately." He lets me know, his eyes trained solely on mine, like he's trying to intimidate me.
"Yeah, I had some family stuff to sort out." I clear my throat uncomfortably when some unwanted thoughts start slithering into my head.
So, who's your friend? I ask when I see the other boy walking towards us with the dog in tow.
"I'm Quil," the boys says confidently, answering my question for himself. "And hey, I'm sorry if Cody bothered you. He's a very excited pup." He says while kneeling back down and petting the dog affectionately.
I'm pretty sure I've seen this exact scene in an Abercrombie and Fitch ad.
It's hard to direct my gaze away from the rippling muscles that were everywhere on the two boys, but I try to by keeping my focus on the trees behind them.
I hum feeling incredibly awkward around the muscular boys. I clear my throat and straighten up, willing myself to not act like a complete fool around these guys.
"Nice to meet you Quil, I'm Amiyah." I say mustering up all the courage I required and looking him in his eyes, like a normal person
I watch his eyebrows furrow and clarity washes over his face.
"You're the girl that was dating the vam-
"Quil!" I turn my head from Quil's frame to Paul, who is glaring very intimidatingly at his friend.
"'I think you should take Cody back to Emily, she's getting worried."
They hold eye contact for longer than I would deem necessary, but then I realise that they must be holding a telepathic conversation.
Rude.
I stand between them with my lips pouted out awkwardly.
All of a sudden Quil has retreated back into the forest with the demonic dog on a leash, without even a goodbye.
''I'm sorry about Quil, he's on a lot of medication."
"Um... It's cool."
I chuckle nervously and tuck my hair behind my ears. "Weird question. What's todays date?"
"September 13."
"Which is..." I ask, digging deeper.
His head tilts and he looks at me with a furrowed brow. " A Saturday... Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm just... looking for a bus or a taxi, anything really that can take me into forks." I say, biting gently on my bottom lip.
"Today?"
"Yeah."
"You're out of luck, Public transport around here is pretty hard to find on the weekends... especially at this hour."
"Oh." I pout and look down at the ground sulkily. The heart-warming reunion that I had imagined for Edward and I seems unlikely, at least for now. I doubt I'd be anymore lucky tomorrow, and I was already at a disadvantage with my unfamiliarity of this town. That left Monday at school, which might not even be a possibility, what with the sunny skies out right now.
"Hey, I can take you into Forks." I hear him say politely.
"You can?" I perk up immediately and stare hopefully up at the brown-eyed boy
"Yeah. Forks isn't too far from here, and I could do with a drive anyway." He says with a shrug like it's not a big deal to him.
"Oh, thank you so much Paul!" I resist the urge to hug his very naked chest and instead opt for a less personal high five.
His head quirks at the sight of my raised hand, and instead of reciprocating the gesture he just stares at me oddly.
Does he not know what a high five is? Had the high five wave not reached La Push yet? or maybe this situation didn't call for a high five. Whatever the case may be I refuse to be left hanging, so awkwardly I grab hold of his very warm wrist and raise his hand to lamely meet mine.
I grin excitedly at him and start to bounce on hyper actively on my toes. "'So, when do we hit the road?"
"Come on, we'll head out now." He turns around and begins to walk in the same direction he came from.
I leap after him and try to keep up with his long strides.
Soon the grassy path leads us to a deserted winding road, which is facing a large, intimidating cliff.
Parked on the side of the road is a light blue pick-up truck, its paint job slightly weathered probably by the rain.
I hop in the car after Paul and promptly buckle up my seatbelt.
I watch him reach into the back seat and grab a washed-out t-shirt. He pulls it on over his head and I mentally sigh in relief.
The shirt however leaves very little to the imagination. The tight material sticks to his biceps and leaves me gaping at the pecs that look as big as a baby's head.
"So where to?" He catches me staring and smirks knowingly.
"The Cullen residence." I say sheepishly and send him a tentative smile.
His whole demeanour changes from smiling and carefree to brooding and offish. "What?" He asks darkly.
"There's someone I want to see there." I add lightly
He looks at me disbelievingly and scoffs. "No."
"Huh?'' I squeak out nervously.
"I am not driving to that freak house."
"But you promised you'd take me to Forks." My voice comes out whiny and petulant, but I can't help it, I feel as if life is constantly fucking with me.
''Yeah, that was before I knew you wanted to go there." He spits out venomously.
"You can drop me off a block away from their house, you don't need to get into their driveway or anything." I try to convince him.
"Its still a no from me."
"Please, Paul. You're my only hope. I really need to go see Edward. It's life or death. And by life or death I mean regarding the continuity of our relationship.
I look at him pitifully and give him my best set of puppy dog eyes, hoping it might sway him into taking me to Edwards place.
"What are you doing with your face?" He asks uncomfortably.
I feel the tips of my ears burn with embarrassment and I look away sheepishly.
"Nothing... Look, how about this. I'll be ten minutes, tops. And when I'm done Ill buy you the biggest pack of Oreos you can get... or a steak. Whatever, I'll even pay for your gas!"
He mulls over my bribe for a while before he moodily shoves his key into the ignition. "Your paying for a full tank, and an oil check!"
★ ★ ★
Paul tells me that it's only a 20-minute drive, but due to the God-given gift I have of being able to fall asleep anywhere, within the first 3 minutes of the drive I'm knocked out cold.
Interdimensional hopping really took it out on your girl, okay.
It's a dreamless sleep, and far from comfortable, but those 5 minutes that I do get in are enough to leave me somewhat sated.
I'm jolted awake a harsh flick to my nose. I groan and rub my aching neck. I turn to my side to see a brooding Paul staring at me expectantly.
"We're here."
I quickly arch my back to work out the kinks that have formed from sleeping in a car. My hand reaches for the door handle, but before I make my way to exit I turn around hesitantly and look at Paul with wide eyes.
"Do I look okay?" I ask consciously with a tiny smile.
Paul spares a short glance at me before returning his attention to the heavyset brick phone in his hand.
"You look like a million bucks." He says unconvincingly.
Unsatisfied with his answer, I steal a glance of my reflection in the rear-view mirror and wince.
My hair is a dishevelled mess and I have a thin trail of dry saliva caked onto my chin. When Beyoncé told ladies to tell their men that they 'Woke up like this', I'm 100% certain that this is not what she envisioned.
I glare at him darkly. This boy was really about to let me walk out of the car looking like the walking dead... Fake ones, they're all around you.
I gather hair into a pony tail and use my thumb to furiously wipe at my chin. I feel around my jean pocket and sigh in relief when my fingers make contact with the tube of lip-gloss I had stashed in my jeans before I left.
I slowly dab the gloss onto my lips, a feeling that I can't quite explain washing over me as I realise just how close I am to seeing Edward again.
"Well I'm off." I say, without moving any closer to the door.
"Mhhmm." He hums uncommittedly.
"I shouldn't be long, 5 minutes tops." I remind him, pulling anxiously at hem of my t-shirt.
"Okay."
"You know I really appreciate you doing this for me Paul."
He continues to give his undividing attention to his phone, not even looking up when he says blandly; "Don't sweat it."
"Webster dictionary defines a friend as-" Paul cuts me off before I can continue, with an unimpressed look.
"Why are you stalling? If you made me drive 20 minutes just for you to chicken out of seeing him, I'll be very peeved."
"Okay jeez, I'm going." I lift my hands up in surrender, and quickly jump out of his truck.
My chest is in shambles and the butterflies in my stomach seem to be working in overdrive. With each step I take the heartbeat pounding in my ears only gets louder. It doesn't take long for me to reach their front porch, but it feels as if time has slowed down and I'm living everything in slow motion.
Sluggishly, I raise my hand to knock on their door, but stop to wonder if I'm intruding. We didn't exactly leave things on the best terms. Well at least I didn't. And there was also that thing about him locking lips with Bella.
God, I'd been pushing that scenario to the back of my head for weeks.
Would he even want to see me? Perhaps I'm suffering from dumb bitch disease, why do I even want to see him?
Because you're stupidly in love with him.
Obviously, I don't love myself enough, because almost immediately my head starts filling itself with images of Edward rejecting me to be with Bella and I immediately back away from the door.
Maybe this isn't the best time to see him. He might be busy. I try to reason with myself, even though my conscience is calling me a little bitch.
The door is swung open anyways and I'm face to face with who's consumed my waking days.
His hair is ruffled in the most delectable way, and he's wearing a dark blue sweater that contrasts perfectly against his alabaster skin and his fiery golden orbs.
He stares at me unwaveringly, that simple act already causing my pulse to quicken.
"You're back." He says disbelievingly, his smooth voice sending shivers down my spine.
Before I'm given the chance to speak, Edward's arm has snaked itself around my waist and swiftly pulls me closer to him. His lips entrap mine into a sultry dance.
The kiss is a fight for dominance filled with passion and longing. I feel my heart bursting with the raw emotion I hadn't felt in weeks.
I never want it to end, but then he releases my lips from his, allowing me to catch my breath while he nestles his face into my neck.
"I've missed you so much.'' He says heavily. I feel his cool breath caress my skin comfortably and I sigh in complete bliss.
" I've missed you too." I breathe into his hair. Savouring the scent that never ceases to drive me wild.
I reluctantly pull away from his embrace when I remember the last time I saw him. I wanted to find a mature way to bring it up, but my hands have a different plan as they instantly start hitting his chest.
Edward reacts very lamely to my assault, and gently removes my hands from his chest.
"You saw the kiss." His eyes soften and slowly switch to a lighter gold.
"How? –" He stops himself and changes the pace. It meant nothing Amiyah. Trust me." He says with conviction.
"That's hard to do when I saw you giving that heavy breathing bitch CPR lessons." I hiss at him abrasively.
"She kissed me." He said evenly.
"Did you enjoy it?"
"Of course not! She took me by surprise and then Her scent overpowered me. I thought that if I just let it play out I could gather some restraint and refrain from hurting her. I love you Amiyah, I could never think of betraying you like that."
His hand reaches out to cusp my face, I refrain from leaning into it, which is hard to do when his icy thumb starts tracing slow circles on my cheek, making me feel as if I'm about to melt.
I keep my composure and try to appear as if his flowery words and loving touches do nothing to sway me.
"So, you don't want to be with her?" I ask, trying to mask my hopefulness behind a firm tone.
His hand immediately drops from my face and he releases a heavy sigh. "It's... complicated." His gaze has shifted to the ground and won't return to me.
The hope I had sizzles out and unease and trepidation ignites in its place.
"What do you mean it's complicated?" I ask shakily. "It's a simple yes or no question."
"While you were gone... a lot happened."
I stay quiet. Prompting him to continue, but his explanation is halted by a brown-haired girl flouncing down the stairs like she owns the damned residence.
Bella Fucking Swan
I watch her as she moves from the staircase to meet with Edward in the doorway.
"Edward?'' She says in a soft voice. "Are you coming up?" Her hand moves and is placed comfortably on Edwards shoulder.
"What the fuck is this?" I don't realise that I've said this out loud until Bella sends me a shocked look.
Had she not seen me until now? This bitch.
"Amiyah, you're back." Her greeting sounds strained. She doesn't sound too happy to see me, and hell I'm not shitting rainbows at the sight of her either.
She must have me fucked up. This whole situation is fucked up.
''Yeah. But I'll get out of your hair. I can see you two are very busy.'' I say with artificial sweetness.
I look at Edward one last time, he looks remorseful but hella guilty. Isn't he going to say anything?
"Edward. I want my bike back." I say finally. My middle fingers are itching to be pulled up, but instead I walk civilly away from them, holding back any words of hatred and vulgarity.
I want to cry. But mama didn't raise no bitch, so I try to hold in my tears until after Paul has dropped me back home.
I climb dejectedly into Paul's truck and slump my head down to avoid any communication
"Everything okay?" He asks lightly, but those two words seem to have opened the flood gates.
"He's cheating on me. I came back for him and he doesn't even want to be with me." I say in between choked sobs.
"I'll put on the radio." He says awkwardly
"Do-Do you have the Lemonade album?" I ask tearfully. "Of course you don't, because it's two thousand and fucking five." I drop my head into my hands and pray for the ground to swallow me whole.
"Six." I hear him cough out lamely
I slowly lift up my head from my hands and stare at him blankly. "What?"
"It's 2006." He reiterates.
"Ugh. Just kill me."
"Don't you think you're being a little bit dramatic."
I stare up at Paul incredulously. I wasn't looking to be pitied or anything, but damn homeboy couldn't feel even a little bit of sympathy?
"Excuse me? You aren't the one that's getting cheated on."
"Are you sure he's cheating on you? Just because Bella's at his house doesn't mean that they're together." He says pointedly
I look at him suspiciously. "I didn't tell you that Bella was there."
"Uh... didn't you?"
"You know something don't you? Tell me!"
"I don't know anything." He says defensively, avoiding eye contact.
"Yeah right. My mom's a lawyer I can spot a lie with my eyes closed."
"I can't tell you.'' He sighs resignedly and places his key into the ignition
"Why not?" I press on.
"Look. This is bigger than your little relationship problems with the leech." He says pointedly.
"That's the thing, there is so much going on that's bigger than Edward and I's relationship. My whole world feels like it's crumbling, Bombshell after bombshell has been dropped on me, and now I don't even know who I am anymore. I just thought that our love would be strong enough to make all of these problems disappear."
Paul stares at me with sympathy, which immediately makes me feel super pathetic.
"How about some ice cream?" He offers kindly.
"Can I get a Mcflurry?" I ask dejectedly.
"Well the nearest McDonald's is in Port Angeles." He says apologetically.
Of-fucking-course it is.
I frown down at my lap. This day is just getting better and better.
"But a couple of miles won't hurt." He grins at me assuredly
30 minutes later We pull onto in McDonald's drive-thru. The prospect of the desert cheers me up just a little and I'm no longer sniffling in despair.
"One Oreo Mcflurry please."
He repeats my order to the radio.
"And a large chocolate shake." I add.
"And a large choc shake." He repeats
I learn over him to relay my next orderb
"And some large fries and 20-piece nuggets and a McChicken."
"I'm sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken."
I stare at the intercom hatefully, as if it is the source of all my problems.
Paul jumps in before I can give some choice words to the lady on the other side of the radio.
"That's fine, we'll just take everything else." He says politely.
Paul drives us silently to the next window, where he takes the takeout bag from a smiling Mc Donald's employee and hands her a wad of notes.
"You didn't have to pay for me." I say to Paul while I munch on a salty fry.
"Its cool. I wanted to."
"Well now I feel bad." I say with a small pout. "Do you want some?" I tilt the fries in his direction.
"Sure," He shrugs and takes a handful of fries and throws them into his mouth."
"And don't feel bad," He says with his mouth slightly full. "You've had a shitty day, it was my pleasure."
I smile to myself. He's really sweet, despite his terrible eating habits.
Hey, pull into that gas station?" I point to the BP across the road from the restaurant. "I've still got to pay for your gas."
"Amiyah, its cool. Forget about it." He waves my generosity away and looks at me kindly with warm brown eyes.
"I made a promise, remember? It'll be my pleasure."
He lets out a light chuckle and shakes his head in amusement. "Okay." He says, starting his car back up and driving us to the gas station.
When we've parked I tell Paul that I'll go inside the store to pay, and leave him to fill up his tank, already feeling slightly nauseous from the smell of the oil.
I enter the store listlessly, without Paul's presence I finally have a moment to freely reflect on the bullshit I witnessed earlier.
I lump forms in my throat when I realise that what Edward and I had is probably over.
My chest starts constricting it feels as if something heavy is weighing on my shoulders. My eyes stat to sting with the threat of tears, and I refrain from blinking to halt them from falling.
You know what'll make me feel better? Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.
The store isn't very crowded and isn't too big, so finding the confectionery isle shouldn't take too long.
I begin browsing the store, paying very little attention to my surroundings. That's why when the store goes completely dark I'm left in a stump. Quickly I turn my head from left to right, trying to find any source of life.
the teenage boy that had been manning the register has disappeared, and the gas station outside looks desolate and dim.
What the fuck?
Am I in stranger things? Is this the fucking upside down?
Yo, I have been through a lot of shit in the past couple of months, but I swear if a bald-headed white girl jumps out and starts moving things with her mind, I swear I'm gonna lose it
"Hello?" I call out wearily, hesitantly walking around the shady shop, trying not to bump into anything.
Right in front of me I see a door, a bright, white light glowing from behind it, illuminating the room slightly.
My mind screams at me to stay away from it, but I unconsciously find myself walking closer to it.
What are you doing Amiyah? 99. 9% of horror film deaths happen by the dummies walking towards the danger.
"Hello?" I try again, taking shorter steps towards the weird glowing door.
"Eleven?" I squeak out nervously.
I'm generally met with silence, save for the soft, insistent buzzing that surrounds the area, but then a deep, disembodied voice speaks out, paralysing me in my stride
"You're going to die here." It says darkly.
My breathing stops. This cant be real? I must be hallucinating.
"You're going to die here." The disembodied voice hisses again, arising a panic in me.
So, this became longer than I anticipated it would be, sorry? Also, I'm very sorry for the long wait. A lot has been going on and I'm sure you're all pretty tired of my excuses. The draft for the next chapter is almost done, but a lot of editing still needs to be done, so although I'd like to say expect an update by next week, my lazy ass has duped you all before, so I'll just say you can expect an update soon.